Question: How Do You Men Seduce Your Woman?

Question for all you men out there.  What are some things that you do to seduce your wife?  Do you just take her?  Do you start the seduction early with, for example, notes, soft kisses, caresses, etc throughout the day or days?  Do you not seduce and you just pencil a time in?  Do you let your wife do most of the seduction? Is it important to you to seduce your wife? Do you like to go pursue her?  What can your wife do to help in the seduction – lingerie, games, etc?  What?  Give it to me!

I really feel the art of seduction is getting lost and I would really like to have it.  I have felt like I have been seduced a little, but not a lot and I would really like that feeling of being “preyed upon” by my husband.  I do things to seduce, mostly subtle seduction because it usually backfires if I come on strong.  Or I am too subtle and he misses it all together.  Or maybe I just don’t know how to seduce?  What a dance seduction can be!  I have talked with my husband about it but I don’t think we are understanding one another!  Maybe some MH husbands can help?!  The ladies can chime in too!

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31 replies
  1. Hotformywife says:

    To be honest, we often do the same thing on a regular basis. While that is not a bad thing all together, it can make sex very mundane over time, years. So, it is easy to do a little bit of homework, extra effort, a little creative thought, some discussion with your spouse away from the sex place–wherever you regularly have your intimate time. It is also a good change to schedule your time together, makes it a priority and it adds anticipation.
    My wife has super sensitive nipples so I can get her interested, motor running, turned on easily by just touching her nipples. I have a method(s) which I vary–might pinch them just enough to get a rise out of her, might lightly touch them through her clothing, might take her whole breast in my hand either suddenly or seductively at an unexpected time. When we are moving toward a good screw, I continue the same thing but add licking or sucking. Sometimes I do everything lightly and gently, at other times, I suck her nipples and titties hard and suck as much of her breast in my mouth as I can. it depends on how things are going at the time. If I'm really hot for her, I may be very aggressive and she likes that at times. If she is really hot, I tend to make her wait and keep moving her toward a peak several minutes or even an hour later.
    I love to touch her when she is dressed up and will do so in a somewhat public place but do so subtly. Any bare skin is game for me to touch and stroke her. She loves this attention and it always helps her move mentally toward or sexual encounter.
    Oddly, writing her notes or texts often is a great way to get her attention. Message can be sexy or loving if you learn to do it well. Be a student of your wife and learn how and what she likes to hear and read from you. It can pay big dividends in your sex life.

    • Juicy says:

      OH! It is you that I quoted?! I read in a previous post somewhere on this site about being a student of your wife because it pays in dividends. Are you the originator of that quote? I was so struck by that phrase that I wrote in down in my journal and then I referenced it in "Taste It You Naughty Girl!" Such an inspiring quote! What story was it in? I want to reread it!

      Thanks for your input. I really appreciate your wise words. I must admit, it is partly me that is a part of this issue. I definitely have body image issues so I don't always take his compliments well so that doesn't help. But my sweet husband is not creative at all, whereas I am all about creativity, and he needs time to get creative…………….. like a long time! My primary love language is Words Of Affirmation, and so is his, but he struggles with words. I am not about grand gestures of love, I am about the thoughtfulness of everyday. Always thinking, even subconsciously, about how to make his life easier, to affirm him, to let him know I am thinking about him. He works very hard and very long hours so he has a difficult time shutting that off, even though I try to help him wind down with time alone, favourite foods, baths, massages, etc. He just had a hard time shutting down "him" and turning on "me.
      /us"

      It is most often me initiating time alone, dates, getaways, etc and it would be nice for him to do it more often, to let me know that he thinks of me and wants to do something for me. So it makes me feel a little not-so-special. Sometimes a gal would like the man to take the lead to show her how important she is to him. I have discussed this with MANY times but it doesn't seem to stick.

      I know my husband loves me, there is no question, and I don't want the tone of this post to sound woe-is-me. He is a great and unselfish lover and I am very blessed to have him, and like every marriage, we have been through some extreme highs and some extreme lows but we have always come out of it together. I thought some advice from other men might encourage him on how to be a master seducer 😉

  2. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    My husband does it in different ways so it varies. I like that. Variety is always good to spice things up. He can do anything from leaving a sweet love letter for me in the morning or just taking me at night.

  3. PassionateForChrist says:

    Before I head into my comment… to my MH fam: I am most grateful to God and overjoyed to have found the love of my life. My sweetheart and I are for now in a committed relationship (faithful and loyal, honest and heartily open to each other). My love is the greatest blessing God has ever graced me to have – he is everything and more that I've ever hoped and prayed for to find in a man. I know from within my deepest depths that he is the man I want to marry, the man I want to do life with, the man I want to give myself to, the man I wanna go after God with together. I am rock-solid sure about this. He is "the one" to me. My heart has been shaped for him. My desire is for him alone. Our relationship is still very fresh but we both in awe and amazement recognize how we just seem to be fit so well together as if divinely tailor-made for each other. And I believe with all my heart that the latter is exactly the case. He is unlike any other I've ever talked to before – he is matchless to me. And I thank God for him and the opportunity that He has blessed us with and worked out for us! I'd be very grateful for your prayers, dear MH fam, because this relationship, this thoroughly sweet, loving and caring man means the world to me and I wanna make this right and we both wanna build something unique and special and meaningful together, something that will last. <3

    Now, to my comment…

    I can relate to what you stated, Juicy. My primary love language is also Words of Affirmation and I too am the kind of girl that is just constantly thinking about ways to bless my sweetheart, to make him feel loved and cherished and appreciated, to show him in some way each day how much he means to me and how amazing he is to me. It is funny to me because I like the idea of being pursued and I so love and desire to be pursued by my love (to receive into my heart from him those words that he can speak like no other because he holds those keys to my heart and he just so naturally is able to beautifully sing my heart's song) but I also can't keep myself from just pouring out of my heart in word and in action that almost uncontainable love and passion that just keeps welling up out of it for him alone – and so I find myself sparking things into gear quite often. I don't mind this at all because it's part of how God designed me to be – even if I tried, I couldn't keep myself from actively sparking one thing or another here and there… I actually fail at every attempt of mine to keep myself from making a move or speaking a word before having gotten word back first… I guess, something in me would just wither if I'd stop listening to my heart and acting upon it when it says "do this", "speak now" and such. My sweetheart doesn't have an issue with expressing his love and appreciation for me – in fact, I am so in awe of God and grateful and so proud of my love for just how wonderfully freely and openly he cares to communicate with me and for how his words are able to so perfectly weave into my heart and melt it so naturally in the love he gives. But I face another challenge that I am learning to get good at adjusting to better… My sweetheart and I have exchanged hearty, thorough, in-depth emails every single day since God made the connection between us work – at some point along the 2 first weeks we even got to 2 big emails every day (now, all who know me know that when I say "big" emails these are indeed extensive… I am unable to keep something short… I've got but one gear: speak it from the heart, open and transparent, unabridged and sincere… what comes out of that are usually long emails, comments and whatever else I weigh in on… and I love my sweetheart all the more deeply because he actually is able to team up with me in this area (so wonderful!!)… So, we exchanged a lot of mega sweet and in-depth emails and began building the relationship in amazing ways. My sweetheart has periods where he is out of town for work – for different amounts of time… before we got successfully connected he was out of town for a week, which I didn't know, so that left us disconnected for a bit, and I'm gonna be honest, it grilled me, because I had no clue if he reconsidered our potential relationship… I got scared that I lost him (which would be my biggest fear). The day he got back, the first thing he did was make sure I knew he was still there and the words he spoke to me were the greatest blessing to me – and his words to me continue to be the greatest blessing to me. Now, I am currently facing another period of disconnection from my love because he's out of town anew. True to my design, I keep sending him almost daily whatever my heart encourages me to speak and any other day he sends a very short reply back (because he simply can't write those long emails, which I so love, when he's on the road). After our intense, wonderful communication, to me this feels like being on withdrawal. lol He's been out and about for 2 weeks so far and counting, and I miss him like crazy. I miss receiving these beautifully, personally meaningful expressions of heartfelt love he so sweetly shares in his long mails, his zeal and passion, and being able to discover him so thoroughly and his thoughts and all. Such disconnections are often a challenge to me, especially the longer they take. Right now, through this situation I face, I'm learning for myself to refuse to give into fearful thoughts of mine (like being afraid to lose my beloved) and instead on purpose, actively build those invaluable trust bonds towards my sweetheart. He told me the other day that he'll be home soon and every day now I'm mega excitedly anticipating his homecoming. I can't wait to have his name pop up on my screen anew. 🙂 <3

    Juicy, I love how you said this:"I am about the thoughtfulness of everyday"! Beautiful! God bless y'all!

    • copen1 says:

      I am happy for you PFC. Until recently I have been mostly a quiet observer on this site, but I have followed along on the sidelines for some time now. During that time, I noticed your careful but avid search for a Godly man with whom you could both serve Christ and share a life. God rewards patience and I truly hope the best lies ahead for you and this young man. I will pray for you and your future. May God bless…

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Dear copen1, thank you so much! These words blessed me greatly. I could have never made it to this point without God… when I think back on all the times when I was genuinely worn out of failed attempts and hopeless, ready to throw in the towel and give up on believing for the impossible to come true for me, it was He who looked past my many weaknesses and has proven Himself so strong, faithful and gracious to carry me through every time… and looking back now, in all those broken pieces, in all those failed attempts, there was something in there that God knew how to put to good use to work something out in me that helps me now in the blessing He grants me to walk in right now… God is so amazing – more than words could ever say! And I'm so grateful that He allows all these experiences I'm going and growing through (by His grace) on this journey to not just be a continual testimony to me personally of who He is in all His glory, goodness and power but to enable it all to also be a valuable light in some way or another to others… leaves me speechless and in awe of Him to just think about it – it's amazing to me how He can make us be vessels of His in and through our plain everyday lives.

      Thank you for your prayers and well wishes!! Whatever the future will bring, these 2 things I do know for sure:

      – God will be with us, in every moment of every day, wherever we are. And as long as we follow Him, with hearts sincere and harkened to Him, as best as we know how, then I know that my sweetheart and I can and will make it through life together.

      – I am committed to do all that is in power to do to build, nurture and keep this relationship He blessed me to have with my sweetheart. And I strongly believe (and would expect) my dearest to be committed to do the same on his part. Trusting God to tether us together in love according to His good will and to prosper and flourish to His glory this relationship that He gave and made to be.

      Love and blessings! 🙂

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Passionate

      You know that I have been in your corner from day 1

      I am ecstatically excited about this news!

      I didn't even finish reading your whole comment yet

      I couldn't wait to tell that I am so happy for you !

      This is so awesome!

      More than a few of us MH family have prayed for you – and I want to thank God for what He is doing!

      God bless you both! If I'm not your biggest cheerleader – then I'm up near the top ?

      Keep seeking the Lord – and let the Word be in authority. Yeah!! LH

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      LH!! Dear friend, you're so awesome! I know you have been for me from the very beginning and your steady support, spiritual and emotional, in any and everything I shared on here, has helped and always blessed me greatly on the journey. 🙂

      Extra brownie points to you for being soooo ecstatically excited for me and with me! You're definitely right up there in PfC's My Top 3 Biggest MH Cheerleaders! God bless you, brother!! 😀

      Thank you and my MH family for all your prayers – right beside you precious love and unceasing encouragement, your prayers have been the greatest gift y'all could give me through the years! They certainly greatly helped carry me through the highs and the lows of this quest for godly love!

      "Keep seeking the Lord – and let the Word be in authority." I'll make sure to keep this at the center of my heart… Thank you!!!! God bless you!! 🙂

    • Juicy says:

      PFC,
      I am so glad to hear your update! I too have been following along with your posts and wondering where your romantic life is headed. Your MH handle, Passion For Christ, tells me where your life in centered and I see that same passion is carrying over into your romantic relationship! God Bless and I hope that you and your special man continue to grow together.

      Seeking a spouse can be so difficult. You want to follow God's will but our own passions and feelings can muddle up our view of His plan for us. To separate our feelings from God's will can be a difficult thing to do. We often mix up our thrill and emotions as "this must be God's will for the way I am feeling" and even our heartfelt prayers can be misguided. But when two people are seeking God with ferocity, I believe that discernment in His will becomes clearer.

      A romantic relationship, courtship and marriage are fragile, as we hold the essence of love of the other person in our hands, and we ought to be tender and respectful of that generous gift that someone is trusting us with. God Bless PFC and I know so many MH readers here are excited with you and celebrating the budding of this relationship. Keep us updated!

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Juicy, wow!! Thank you for all this love!!!! Because of how God weaved MH into my journey, this community has always held a special place in my heart and I can testify to the hearty support the family of believers gathering here give each other in many different ways, and I so cherish the support poured into me from day 1, but to see how much greater still the crowd of heartfelt supporters actually has been, to hear of your dear hearts who have been rooting for me and/or praying for me through all this time in the stillness, though unknown by name to me, you've all been known to God… this is so heartwarming a blessing to discover! Y'all are so amazing!! Thank you!!! Through your prayers and support, you all took part in this, my battle of faith for love, and so I am grateful to God that y'all were also blessed to be able to witness Him bring my sweetheart into my life – as He chose to have it happen on here – my beloved being the gentleman who reached out to me on here that one fine day under the nickname of Alex_R.

      You are right, seeking a spouse is truly difficult, especially in this day and age where so many have no clue anymore of what love really means – men and women alike, lost in translation between the many loud voices of the world and the subtle, subconscious deceitful messages bombarding them from everywhere throughout our entire lives and that God-given yearning drawing us to the real deal, love as the One who is Love frames and seals it to be. Through all my quest for love, I was painfully aware of this fact: That no matter how much I would venture to do my part in faith (the believing, the trusting, the being open and true to myself to the men I entered into conversation with…), there is no way for me in my own self to be able to know if someone is the one… feelings can't tell me about that, reason cannot preach a solution, attraction cannot make the final call… only God can tell me for sure if someone is right or wrong. So, what I harkened myself to sincerely pray for during my quest for love was that I told God how I know that He truly is the only One who knows every depth of me and He alone knows everything about the different men I was in conversation with over time, and so He was the only One who could see what would be behind the corners I can't see in a relationship with them, and then I ask Him to cause the relationship I was going to Him in prayer for to not come to be if it would not be in His will to be, if there would only be some kind of harm involved for either one of us, if we wouldn't be the best He had in mind for us, and I also asked Him that if this or that relationship was in His will for me, then He should make it come to pass. As I've shared, I could always count on God to protect me from unnecessary, to me unpredictable harm, as He Himself then caused to abort any attempt at relationship of mine before it even could begin much. They all came to nothing fairly soon. And as frustrating it felt to me in the moment, I'm grateful that He so faithfully watches out for us all in such a caring manner, so lovingly and mightily. I realize that through all the failed attempts, one thing God taught me is to know what not to settle with and what to look out for in depth – He showed me what wouldn't be true love by giving me some personal experience through the failed attempts, so that I would be able to personally recognize true love when He would eventually release it, when He would bring that one man into my life. And by all the little big things that I have caught in how God did bring him and all that ensued, I am convinced that my sweetheart is the one for me, my trust being again with all my heart in God about it all.

      "A romantic relationship, courtship and marriage are fragile, as we hold the essence of love of the other person in our hands, and we ought to be tender and respectful of that generous gift that someone is trusting us with." Juicy – wonderfully put and so true indeed!! I am so grateful and cherish it deeply that my sweetheart and I are approaching each other with tenderness and respect and have grace for each other when we hit a little bump while discovering each other… I had a moment of insecurity flare up at some point, which my beloved helped me out of and through by being sweetly patient and gracious in that moment, for which I am all the more grateful and so proud of him! I am proud of the man he is and feel so blessed to be chosen by God to be the one who gets entrusted with holding his heart, to be the one who gets to love him in spirit, heart, body and soul. Love him <3

      Thank you for your blessings!! 😀
      I'll keep you all in the loop. Whenever my heart feels ready to share something, I'll weigh in 🙂 God bless you!!

    • Juicy says:

      PFC,
      Alex_R! In my first response I really debated whether to ask you if it was Alex that you were referring to! I followed along with your responses (deleted and undeleted!) to one another and wondered if indeed the two of you connected outside of MH! I guess I was a bit of a troll! I can't remember which post it was that he weighed in on………anyway. People meet in all sorts of ways and this sounds like it is one of the situations where is was about perfect timing in an unusual way. God nudged the two of you and you both listened. God Bless!

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      I know, right?! God is SO AMAZING! I love that He chose to bring us together through such a unique way! I love that He chose MH… makes it all the more special to me 'cause it is so out-of-the-box a move of His, like no one could see that one coming (and those God moves are the sweetest to me!!)!

      It really took a move of God – and what a beautiful one He has shown us in the process… I am so grateful that Alex listened to what his heart nudged him to speak to me and that he took the chance with me together to seize this once in a lifetime opportunity that God offered to us! I am so grateful that I listened to my heart and followed His nudges too! I am so deeply grateful for how patient and perseverant Alex was through the process of making the connection work out! He is such a gem, so precious a man to me – he is my everything! I am so glad that God made sure in every step we had to walk through till getting connected that we would get to be together! God's will in all of this is undeniably present to me and tangible in so many details of our love story. I can't and don't want to imagine being even just 1 day without having my sweetheart in my life, right by my side, forever in my heart… not 1 day do I wanna let pass by without thinking about my sweetheart, blessing him in some way and just simply being there, together in spirit as one in Him.

      Haha, Juicy 😉 It was ServantLeader's Patience post 🙂 All the messages Alex sent me over there are so precious and special to me and, in fact, I have saved them all. (And yes, I am so glad that God made sure I would see Alex's first reply to my offer… the one that got deleted a little later… I had no chance to tell Alex about that yet but I was able to catch by God's Grace (I love how He destined us to be together! Thank You Jesus!!) that reply of his before it got deleted a little later again – God woke me out of my sleep in the early morning hours that day and, rolling around, I went for my phone to check on the MH comments, saw his and right away saved it for keeps for me – I remember how greatly he made me smile that day, and he continues to cause my heart to sing and make my smile shine every day ever since 🙂 <3 So, I am mega happy to have so many beautiful memories with my beloved already – every word of his is absolutely precious to me! I actually have a folder on my phone that belongs to my sweetheart only and in there I have gathered everything his heart ever spoke to me… his love letters to me, so to speak. I have him with me everywhere I go – in my heart, on my mind, and at my fingertips. Love him so much, forever and ever, and wouldn't want it to be any other way!!! <33

  4. PassionateForChrist says:

    For balance's sake I wanna say the following too… and by sharing this, I will expose my soul and innermost life here, which I often do because that's just how God made me but I may have never done it with this much depth into my innermost being and with such willingness to be personally publicly vulnerable, but I deem it important, for I wouldn't want other singles reading these comments of mine about the love I found and then themselves get discouraged or bitter and what not, thinking to themselves "Why don't I have something like this happen to me?!"

    I can only share my part of the relationship – I can speak for myself only, I can share how I perceive it, feel it, live it out and uphold it in faith in reliance to God. Whatever I speak, I speak in full sincerity and earnest of heart and spirit. When I speak about how I see Alex, what he means to me, what this relationship is to me, then I mean it as I say it and I will put action to my words… words are effectively void of meaning if action doesn't back them up. For example: We can say we love someone but if no action follows, then all that ends up being is sweet to the ears but a heavy load to bear for the heart. Love doesn't just speak, at some point, love always does. So, in what I share, I share sincerely and totally transparently about my part of the equation in the relationship. I cannot speak for Alex (simply because I'm not Alex). I've made it clear from the beginning on of the relationship that it is very important to me that whatever he does and speaks, he does it out of his free will, his own heart's desire, not because he would wanna please me or feel compelled to do anything. I've also made it clear that we be committed to being honest and open to each other at all times, in everything – this was a prerequisite, a must have for me because meaningful relationships can neither be built nor grow nor prevail if honesty and openness to each other are not present from the start or could not be counted on in each other by the both of us. I don't require much in a relationship but I need reliable sincerity (in motive, behavior, speech)… no big deal if out of fear or anything my significant other would not open up to me for some time about whatever, I always give grace as best I can and usually get to trying to break down walls that I suspect to be there, through staying consistent myself and pouring out extra encouragement and love, and I give opportunity to get us back on the right track… a temporary shutting-me-out of my significant other is no reason for me to give up on the relationship or to think differently about my significant other (I wanna be a safe haven for my sweetheart and I understand that sometimes, with some things trust needs some extra time to build but I make sure that he knows that when he opens up to me he will encounter no shame or blame from me but love because that's just what I've been into my heart for him by God). Anyways… so, I cannot speak for Alex – I can only receive his words and all and believe and trust and do my part of the equation… and I can and do diligently observe if his words match his behavior towards me… Is there a change in behavior at any point? Doesn't he do anymore what he used to do? Is there good reason for it? Is there complete openness about it towards me when I talk to him about my concerns? Is such a change only temporary? Or does that change end up becoming the new normal in the relationship? I can observe, I can draw conclusions from it all and I can seek communication with my sweetheart (and seeking communication is something I always do because I want and long to further understanding, I want and long to listen to my sweetheart/his perspective, I want and long to give him opportunity to correct my perception if my perception is faulty… my heart is to resolve any potential issue for the better and have the relationship grow stronger out of it, our bonds strengthened, us closer together because of it, not further apart – I wanna do whatever I can do to make a relationship of 2 imperfect people with a heart for Christ work).

    A meaningful relationship takes 2 (+ God on top of it). There is never a guarantee for success. The only moment we are guaranteed in life is the present given moment and so we ought to make the most of each given moment. Both partners need to daily do their part to make it work. By how God made me, I cannot do anything else but do my part – I give all I have been given by God into me to give, I am honest, transparent, vulnerable, open, understanding, I apologize for mistakes I make, etc… unless I'm having a bad day or some bad days (which we all have), I believe I'm a fairly steady rock that can be dependent on, counted on and relied upon in a relationship (all only by God's grace, good will and design – whatever good can be seen in me is of His gracious and unceasing work on and in me). All that I have shared about my relationship with my sweetheart, I wholeheartedly mean it and, as far as it concerns me, I am certain about it, not having any shadow of a doubt – but I also know that, especially at this point of the relationship, I have to live with the potential risk of being maybe dumped someday nonetheless. And though scary because this would be my biggest fear, I can live with the risk by now because I've learned on my journey that I can either let fear of failure cause me to have life pass me by or I can be bold and take my chances and entrust myself completely to God and do my part… and I'm grateful that God has brought me to the point by now that I choose taking chances. I will not let a potential miracle pass me by for lack of trying. Even if it would go wrong, at least I was open for it and tried my best. I'm reminded of Jon Foreman's song "Learning How To Die" at times when I ponder all this: "All along, thought I was learning how to take, how to bend, not how to break, how to live, not how to cry, but really I've been learning how to die." This is talking about dying to self – and I'm grateful to God for having taught me (and continuing to teach me) how to die to self through every experience one way or another on this journey. It it His work alone over all the years that makes the love I can give into a relationship be more selfless than self-centered or selfish. It is His work that makes me so passionate about and gives me such an unquenchable desire to wanna cater to my sweetheart's needs, to seek out to give him what he needs. And normally the love we give always gets back the same way – that's how God made it to be… nothing given, shall be given in vain – those are His Kingdom ways.

    I am currently pondering a question within myself (whether to have sex before marriage or not) and as we are on MH here I could speak up about what I'm rolling around in my mind but I wanna advise the Christian singles on here to not follow in my steps about this. My initial resolve was to wait till marriage because that is simply what God would expect of me as a Christian and it would be what honors God and the covenant of marriage. But I am pondering whether I wanna reconsider my choice in this… To be all clear, Alex never pressures me about this and never has asked me to have sex with him and never tries to manipulate me into having sex with him. I know he would be interested in me – he signaled that… not sure if it would still be the case because of our temporary inability to communicate as we used to, so that makes it harder for me to know where I stand in his eyes… but what I wanna make sure you all know is that he is a good man who has a heart that cares to do only what I'd wanna do. Because I know for myself that he is the one for me, I have a choice to make about sex. In myself and for myself. I have time to think it through because we have still a few months left before we would meet up in person – so my choice is not a "hormone-ridden" one but a heart- and mind-ridden one. I haven't made my decision yet about this but I am pondering it seriously and weighing the pros and cons in my personal case about it. Clearly, God doesn't approve of sex before marriage, so if I choose to be intimate with my sweetheart when we will spend a few weeks together, I know I can expect to have to bear some kind of consequence as far as God is concerned. Waiting would be the right thing to do, which is why I advise Christian singles to not follow in my steps right here because really outside of covenant protection, I (the woman) am the one who bears all risks and consequences if I'm having sex. If I choose to want to have sex before marriage, then I have to be willing to bear the risk of potentially being dumped someday despite the promises and commitment given. At the moment, I'm bent towards choosing to have sex with him. He is the one for me. He is honestly the only man I would wanna be intimate with – to me, personally, there will not be any other man. If the relationship won't make it, if he would reconsider the relationship and leave me at some point, then I'd be left where I started out – being alone again with Jesus. My sweetheart has shown me sincere love and affection and care – no other man ever did what he did and has proven himself to me like he did. I have waited a long time for this moment and worked hard to be the right kind of woman… and I don't wanna die one day without having experienced sex for myself with someone who loves me and will care to make it a beautiful time – and Alex has shown to me that he would care to do that. Of course, 2 weeks of personal bliss can't match a lifetime of marital bliss. Still, for me, right now, in the moment I find myself in, although I can't have any guarantee for marriage, I wouldn't wanna miss out on the 2 weeks of personal intimacy that we could share together. That's what's brewing in my mind and heart right now… feel free to weigh in. God bless y'all!

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Passionate,

      I don't have time right now to write long – but DON'T do it! Kiss him, hug him – but don't "have sex" until after you are married! You are deceiving yourself. If Alex is the man you hope he is – you will both have peace of mind about this from God. I have no doubt that doing it would feel good. That's not the point. We open with Alex in lieu of you meeting. Have a great time together. Share tender feelings, tender moments, tender kisses. Read Scripture together. Talk about what you both believe about the Christian life. Be with other people. After two weeks, you will never regret it! On your wedding night – you two will not say, "I so regret that we didn't fuck already"! No way! Passionate, we can all be weak. I know that I can be weak. At those times, God sends His Word, His Spirit – and His people to warn us against straying from the path. I love romance. I love special moments. I love fucking! But, I know you will not like the aftertaste of what you are potentially opening yourself to doing. Talk to a close trusted Christian friend – someone who will stand beside you – and ask you hard questions. Someone who loves you. I hope Alex has the same kind of accountability in his church. Don't start your relationship together that way. You don't have to show him how good your pussy is. You don't have to let him kick the tires. He will know that he wants you! He'll wait! By the way, if the two of you are so inclined – get some counsel together. If and when you get engaged – make sure you get quality, biblical premarital counsel. Lastly, don't drag out some long period. When you both are confident in God's being central to your relationship – have a short engagement. Get married! By the way, if you both just go for it and have sex – I can guarantee you both – that you will have doubts about God's centrality in your relationship. Those doubts will haunt you. So, it isn't that everything is perfect – but we just had a fuck on the side. No, you would be potentially doing great harm to a future spouse – and he with you.

      Finally, I said this was going to be short. I'm NOT saying that people who have sex prior to marriage are cursed for the rest of their lives. We are weak. We stumble. Yet, What I see you doing is not just admitting that you could be weak – you are racing towards and planning to be weak! That is not who you are in Christ, Passionate. I have seen your conscience shine too many times on here. Be yourself. Be open and honest with Alex. If he is the man – you will be so blessed to see that his heart yearns to please God. Oh, he wants you! No doubt! He wants you now! But, for the sake of your marriage, your testimony, and much else – wait!!! You know that I care about you!!! God bless you! LH

    • Juicy says:

      LH,
      You said this so beautifully and I agree wholeheartedly with your response. You are absolutely right when you say that you would never regret waiting until marriage. I waited until my wedding night and I am so glad I did. My husband had one long-term partner before me and he absolutely regrets it.

      PFC, your faith is strong and I feel the same as LH that if you did have premarital sex, your faith would likely be shaken. And if your relationship with Alex did not last, what would keep you from continuing to explore premarital sex with multiple other partners? And then what could that spiral into?

      Sex is amazing, there is no doubt about that, so once you get a taste of it, it would be so difficult to stop. And if you and Alex did venture into a premarital sexual relationship, you are separated by distance, then what? Your ability to have a normal sex life would be difficult because you wouldn't be able to live out a healthy active sex life. And then would could the ramifications of that be? Possible other partners when you can't fulfill it with one another?

      The snowball effect is more tremendous than you can imagine and it is difficult to understand the effects of beginning a sexual relationship until you are in one. One of the things I so enjoyed about waiting for sex until I was married was the frequency! I could have it almost anytime, anyplace, no long periods between intimacy…………I mean we did it ALL the time, everyday for weeks! It is worth waiting for!

  5. Lovinghusband says:

    Passionate,

    PS – Just want to affirm that I care about you (and Alex). I wrote very quickly a little while ago. I just want to make sure that you did not think I was being harsh! I respect you and only want God's best for you both. I just wanted to emphasize that. Your MH buddy, LH.

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Dearest LH, you were not being harsh, you were straightforward – and straightforward was exactly what this moment called for and what I needed to hear. No worries, dear precious friend, straightforward is how I appreciate being talked to. Thank you and Juicy so much for being bold to grab me and shake me back into my senses, giving me a much needed wake-up call and a clear no for all the right reasons!! ?

      Now, I have to get things right with God, and I have to apologize to Alex because I've been jeopardizing the relationship. I hope I haven't totally ruined it already by my straying and slightly tempting the relationship to go into this direction…

      Deepest love and blessings to you, my dear MH friends – thank you so much for watching over me the way you do!!! I'm grateful to be able to come here and speak about all theses things and receive loving care and wisdom from you all. Thank you!!! ?

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Ps: You are right, LH, and I'm so sorry… the "planning to be weak" came about because I want my first time to be special and not 'sex that just happened'… which is why I know sex is best for marriage and have chosen in the first place to wait till marriage 'cause I do believe it to make a tremendous difference. As I've seen my love and passion for Alex grow stronger and stronger, I've double-checked my heart about him being the one for me, and came to the conclusion that, to me, he is my one and only… then I thought about "What if I'll happen to be weak at some point and start something that I didn't plan?" – the answer is that I'd end up having my first time being what I don't want it to be 'sex that just happened'… and so I came to thinking "If I'll happen to be weak, then at least I wanna be prepared for it… so I could at least get as close to the real miracle as possible, so that it could still at least be special in some way (in case I happen to get weak)…" (I know, pretty foolish in hindsight… should be taming myself more diligently… never thought that I would actually be the one in a relationship who would have trouble to wait, trouble to channel that great hearty love I have for Alex into something appropriate for the level of relationship we are in right now…I hope he can forgive me for being so in love with him and hungry for him this early in the relationship, a bit too soon…)

      Thank you for all of your heartfelt words of love, LH (and Juicy too)!!! Love y'all so much!! God bless y'all!!

  6. Deane says:

    Hi Juicy. I'm a latecomer to your question as I've only just joined MH. I think it comes down to learning about each other, body and soul. Mary and I have been married 21 years next month — and we're still learning new things about each other. Learning and growing together is more important than "perfection" in sex, whatever that may mean.

    What I had to learn the hard way: Mary warms up slowly. She doesn't usually like just getting her panties pulled down and her pussy probed right away. What does work is lying in each other's arms, caressing tenderly. She loves it when I slowly lick her around the neck — and loves it when I take my time with that. I then start slowly and gently squeezing her nipples while continuing to lick her neck. Once she starts getting aroused, things can progress in a variety of ways. Sometimes, I'll suck her nipples for a long time. Other times, I'll go down on her and lick her pussy. She LOVES it when I talk to her pussy, yes, TALK into her cunt as though it were an ear! Does your man do that to your pussy? You've got to ask him to try it. And from there, multiple things can happen. Missionary position, cowgirl, 69 … By the way, you as a woman might be surprised to know that I really love it when my wife sucks and licks my nipples, too. They're very sensitive and nothing makes my penis swell up faster! I hope that's part of your marriage, too.

    Many blessings to you and your husband, Juicy.

  7. GodSaveTheTsar89 says:

    Long comment time. I'm an unmarred young man (in my 20s) so I speak from the perspective of hypothesis and wish; from my own fantasies. This is how I would seduce my wife if I were married, and it's what I plan to do when that glorious day arrives (if God wills it, as soon as possible). Descriptions of visual appearance and her behavior are simply what I find attractive, and the actual seduction may be shorter than what's portrayed in the following writing. Depends on how much we can handle before our desire for eachother consumes us, lol.

    That being said, my seduction would go like this:

    When my wife and I are alone together at home, perhaps sitting on a large, comfortable couch, talking and enjoying eachother's company, it would begin with me either making jokes and witty comments and just acting silly (I'm very verbal), or serenading her with a swooning love song ("Everybody Here Wants You" by Jeff Buckley, as an example). The purpose is to fill her with positive emotions…to make her laugh, to make her amazed, and set the stage for things to come.

    Then we'd make eye contact. Smiling, demure eye contact at first, maybe a little laughter from the jokes spilling over into it, but it would soon grow more serious. More intense. I'd stop blinking and I'd become enchanted as I gaze powerfully upon her face and I think about how beautiful it is…her long hair, her innocent doe eyes, her cutie pie lips, her youthfulness and her shy blushing. "God, I can never thank you enough for placing this lovely creature in my life", would be my silent prayer.

    That eye contact would stir powerful, almost electric feelings in the both of us. Our faces would slowly move closer and closer until we kiss. Right on the lips. Right on her pouty, luscious, kissable lips. Kissing her once and then twice, and kissing once again. Kisses of devotion. Kisses of sensuality and nurturing. Gently at first, but gradually becoming more and more aggressive, more passionate. We'd make out like we're teenagers in the backseat of a car, exciting and uninhibited. I'd plant a few on her neck, vampire-style. I'd throw every ounce of love I have for her into my kisses (in other words, a whole freaking lot) and as she sighed longingly and turned to putty in my hands, she'd kiss and kiss too.

    I'd place my hands on her shoulders and gently but firmly push her backwards so she's laying down, gazing up at me, wide eyed and anticipating. Crawling on top of her and pressing my toughened, masculine body against her soft, feminine one, I'd grow more and more turned on. We'd kiss more and more, all while telling eachother how much we love one another. I'd pull the collar and sleevers of her top down so they're at her upper arms, leaving her shoulders bare (the off-the-shoulders look is way hot to me), except for a bit of her bra straps peeking out tantalizingly.

    I'd remove her little socks and caress her girly toes. Girl toes are simply wonderful; I find them very graceful. I'd give her a foot massage, and, if she'd enjoy it, I'd tickle them too. Both with my fingers…and my mouth. Mwahaha.

    I'd lift her top up higher and higher until several inches of her stomach were showing and then tie the bottom of it in a knot so it stayed that high up. I'm one of those guys who finds the stomach to be the most erotic part of a woman's body and making my wife's normal, modest shirts into skimpy, provocative belly shirts would absolutely play a role in my seduction of her. I want to give her "belly love", to kiss and pat and rub her soft tummy, to finger her incredibly sexy belly button and slide my tongue into it. I also want her to enjoy my touching of her tummy as much as I enjoy touching it. Her moans and little kitten-ish mews of pleasure would be such glorious music.

    Moving back down, I'd quickly reach into her pants and pull her panties up over them. Because panties are awesome. Especially lacy panties that wives show off to their husbands in a peekaboo manner. After I've decided that I've made her outfit sufficiently indecent, I'd ohhhh-soooo-slowwwly remove her outerwear altogether (tank top and leggings), leaving her curvy body clad in her naughty lingerie. Thick and luxurious lingerie, in an edgy color like black or purple. Now I'm going completely wild. After nearly exploding from the visual impact of the bombshell laying beside me, I'd sternly command her to undress me, her faithful prince. She'd grin lecherously as she took my clothes off, giggling and squealing as if she were in the front row of a concert as a group of hawt rocker boys played onstage. Within a few seconds, I'd be down to my briefs. Beefcake is on the menu tonight.

    We'd cuddle on the bed in our undies, making out, occasionally pulling our mouths apart to ogle eachother's bodies, and to speak loving, lustftul things, before returning to the makeout. I'd be unable to resist her large, sexy boobs in that lacy, bad girl bra. I'd fondle her big boobs, kiss them, rub my face all over them, pull them out of her bra cups and suck on them, delicious strawberry nipples and all, leaving her screaming with joy. Then I'd move to lay behind her, placing my hands on her wide hips while pushing my hard manhood against her big round booty. Just for fun, I'd give her booty a spank so it would bounce and jiggle enticingly. Finally there'd be some sensual masseuse-like strokes of her thighs and her arms.

    By this point, we'd both be so aroused that a monumental orgasm becomes inevitable, for the both of us. Like the coming eruption of a ferocious volcano. It'd be an otherworldly fantasy made real. Each second, I'd just be astonished that something like this could ever actually happen. The room would be dark and deeply mysterious, with heavenly light seeping through from somewhere far away. The air would be so sweltering from our lovemaking that it could melt a lesser being. But she and I, we aren't lesser beings. Not tonight. Placing my mouth near her ear, I'd urgently growl: "baby doll…you're going to make me cum so hard. <3", giving her a great big confidence boost.

    When I told her to, she'd get on top of me, I'd place my member insider her, thrust vigorously and wildly, and fuck her cute little brains out. Make holy love to her. Pleasure her place of wonder. Let her know she belongs to me, and I to her, all thanks to God and His unending benevolence. We'd scream euphorically upon orgasm, leaving us with unity and bliss.

    As the volcano explodes with lava and the intensity crawls gradually lower from its breathtaking climax, I'd cover my beautiful wife with the blankets before retreating beneath them myself. We'd lie in bed, naked and enjoying it, embracing with gushing tenderness, each of our limbs touching the others limbs, all in a tangle. I'd be petting her on the head and, whispering to her what a good girl she's been, letting me dominate her with my love like that, and she'd tell me how it felt like a brief taste of the Life of the Age To Come in the great Kingdom. We'd speak of how blessed this night was, and how fun and adventurous tomorrow will be. As she fell asleep I'd kiss her pretty face and cuddle her like I'm her teddy bear, knowing that she and I have another episode to our hall of sacred memories, where all the profound, indescribable moments in our lives are forever enshrined.

    That's what I'd do.

    • Juicy says:

      Well that was incredibly hot! God Bless you and your future Mrs and I hope that this fantasy, and others like this, come true!

  8. Deane says:

    @GodSaveTheTsar89 — As a married man I just love reading what singles like you write about what you're looking forward to! Take it from me, you've got an AWESOME future ahead of you, with a godly woman who is also sexy as! It's wonderful how you're so eagerly looking forward to with your future wife. God put that desire in your heart so pray for it to find its fulfilment. Whoever marries you is going to be one very, very, very lucky woman.

    By the way, I haven't seen you before so welcome to MH! We've got other singles here too — there's a young man known as Jam777 and a young lady known as PassionForChrist, both of whom are, like you, eagerly and excitedly looking forward to the joy and beauty of the marriage bed and filling their minds with heavenly thoughts of what it will bring them. Just fantasy? No, it's something they're going to make come true for real when their time comes — and so will you! Both of them are passionate Christians madly in love with Christ, too, and I'm sure you'll enjoy seeing them around (their comments adorn a lot of the stories on MH). If there's any other singles around here, please feel free to step forward and put your hand up — this is a welcoming and loving environment both for marrieds AND for future-marrieds!

  9. PassionateForChrist says:

    Thank you, Deane!! You are so encouraging and kind – a lovely blessing always!!

    @GodSaveTheTsar89:
    Thank you for sharing that long comment with us! It was a delight to read through and picture in mind. I love how considerate you show yourself to be in the introductory paragraph before allowing us to delve with you into the beauty of this fantasy of yours. To me, your way of seduction is way sexy – I love the playful side you would have about it while making sure your bride gets showered abundantly emotionally and verbally with pure love straight out of your heart. I love that you have a heart for romance in marriage. So, the laughing together, having a simply good time on a couch in the beauty of the company of one another, the magic you've described of connecting at heart and in soul and spirit through the gazes of each other's eyes, and the kissing… the awesome, still undisclosed to me, wonder of kissing… all of these are a way beautifully sexy things to imagine for me as well! You've painted the picture wonderfully – thank you! 🙂 I personally can do without the foot massage and foot play because I'm not too big on feet… they are just a practical part of the body to me, not a sexy or sexual part… but the "belly love" – yes, Yes, YES!!! 😀 I love my soft and shapely belly and the "belly love" idea would tickle me big time! I'd enjoy that greatly I believe!! 🙂 Thank you for sharing, GodSaveTheTsar89! That was beautiful! God bless!

  10. GodSaveTheTsar89 says:

    Thank you Deane, Juicy and PassionateForChrist for the enthusiastic reception to my writing. I'm flattered! Also left unsaid were the sort of things my wife would to do me during these lovemaking times. I only revealed my input, haha. I'll be sure to show her what I like. PFC: regarding the feet, to me, are in the mid-range of "attractive" without being arousing, yet more than practical. The diversity of what humans find attractive in one another is in and of itself fascinating to learn about.

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      You're absolutely right, GodSaveTheTsar89. So fascinating. Who knows, when I'll be married, I may just grow into enjoying, at some point, the loving touch of my beloved upon my feet, I may just grow to enjoy his gentle caresses and other romantic touches there that he'll sweetly send my way, melting my heart in his hands. But so far, the underside of my feet is so ticklish – I always gotta watch not to tickle myself when I soap them up while enjoying my beloved bubble baths, haha 😀 So, I totally agree with you – the diversity God created and provides in how He made us all is fascinating and awesome and beautiful 🙂 God bless!

    • Deane says:

      One thing to remember, GodSaveTheTsar89 and PassionateForChrist : there's one thing God didn't create, and that's clones. He never created clones, and I take that to mean that He doesn't care for them. He never made us all to have the same likes and dislikes — especially when it comes to sex and intimacy! Learning what turns your spouse on — or off — is one of the exciting things about being married. But that's why it's just so wrong to compare oneself, or one's spouse, to someone else. God never made you, or your (future) spouse, to be like someone else. He made each one of you to be a one-of-a-kind, standalone reflection of His glory.

      You're a unique individual, GodSaveTheTsar89. You're a unique individual, PassionateForChrist. So, too, is that special person that each of you will someday take into your arms and into your life forever.

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