Erotic Massage For My Wife

Hey guys,

We have only just discovered this website, and already find it interesting. I’m really not the storyteller type. But I thought I would use this as an opportunity to share an idea with you that I am thinking of doing with my wife.

We are a devoted Christian couple (early 30’s) and are actively involved in our Church. We have been homegroup leaders for a number of years and I’m a dedicated muso (drummer and keyboardist). We both come from Christian families with a strong faith.

We have been married for coming up 10 years now. We are madly in love with each other and have been right from not long after we met. We couldn’t imagine life without each other – it is our biggest fear. We also have three young children, aged 5, 3 and 8 months.

To be totally open with you, we would easily make love 2-3 times each week. Very seldom do we only do it only once in the week. This is not to brag by any means, but simply to emphasize how close we are.

For me, there is nothing more satisfying than making her feel good about herself, both sexually and emotionally. I love to constantly remind her of how much I love her. When it comes to sex, I would rather make sure she is totally fulfilled, even before my own satisfaction.

One of the things that I currently really like about our marriage is the level of trust. Early on in our relationship, it wouldn’t take much for me to become jealous of various interactions she had with other guys, even when there was nothing in it. Now, however, there is this amazing level of trust and I am not at all made to feel jealous like I used to be – quite the opposite in fact!

My wife is very attractive, and I truly enjoy it when she is complimented by other guys. It makes me love and appreciate her even more. I guess I simply feel immensely proud of her and blessed to have her to myself 24/7. Not only does she have the looks, but is even more beautiful inside.

This has progressed to where I am often fantasizing (openly with her) about her receiving an erotic massage by a professional male masseuse. We have talked about it for about 2-3 years, off and on. I get this excited/nervous feeling whenever we discuss it. I just imagine how much she would enjoy it (with the right masseuse), and how much I would enjoy watching it. To be able to sit back and perve at my wife naked on the massage table and watch her being made to feel so good, is such an exciting prospect to me. I can also only imagine her with a greater level of confidence and made to feel more comfortable in her own skin.

So my question is, am I some crazy husband for having these thoughts/fantasies about my wife receiving an erotic massage? Should I be running in the other direction?

She does enjoy massages, and she has had one nude massage by a professional male masseuse before, which I initiated. But there was not very much touching downstairs, and certainly no climaxing. It did arouse her to an extent and I felt so good about it.

This is not at all something I would ever force on her because doing it against her will would totally defeat the purpose in my mind. Not to mention that it would be disrespectful to her. She has been very open to the idea, but understandably a little reserved at the same time. To make it clear, I will never allow another man to enter my wife – that is certainly too far. In the right environment, I’d be okay with sensual touching only.

Any comments/thoughts out there from you guys would be super. Thanks!

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30 replies
  1. ladygarden says:

    @Kiwicouple: Welcome to MH, glad to have you on board. Very hot story too by the way. Obviously you both have to be careful with such scenarios as things could get out of hand.

    My wife and I get massages and are nude. We are under the sheet and the therapist removes the draping to work our body parts. Was your wife totally nude on top of the table? Was it a licensed massage establishment? Yes, trust and self control are huge as you don't want to cause anyone to stumble.

    I can relate to the thrill of another man seeing your wife naked. She once surprised me with a nude photo shoot taken by a male professional photographer friend of hers. I love that he saw her naked for an hour in a professional setting.
    Nothing sexual happened, yet I get turned on thinking about him seeing her naked, especially her bare breasts, ass and bush. She has written how much of a turn on it was for her, too. In fact, she even let him keep a couple of his favorites.

    Those are my thoughts, keep writing!

    Lady Garden (K)

  2. Fred says:

    I think this is a bad idea, this would be considered sexual immorality. The marriage bed should be pure (aka sex), this is very similar to using a prostitute. God intended one man, one woman, married to make love / have sex , we are one with our spouses.

  3. Salted Caramel says:

    I say no. It could open the door to wife sharing. Not saying you want that, but the pleasure you enjoy with your spouse isn't meant to be shared. And if your wife is turned on by the masseuse, she's committed the sin of adulterous lust.

    Why not give her the massage yourself? Then you can go all the way.

  4. Lomax says:

    I just think that's wrong, I can understand the want for it but I think the wife is the wife for the husband not for a stranger. Marriage is to be a copy of our relationship to Christ so compare it to your relationship with Christ. Would Christ want to watch your wife be touched intimately by another man. NO! I would take classes or watch videos on how to do it yourself, my wife-to-be is a professional massage therapist but by no means is she the only one capable of a massage. You know your wife's body more than anyone, use that knowledge with a hint of online massage advice and pleasure your wife on your own.

  5. TayTay says:

    Hi Kiwi! I assume you are from NZ? You could book your wife a Yoni massage (they are fully legal there). You can even have it done by a woman! It is up to you to choose if the masseuse is clothed or topless or nude as well. They probably wouldn't mind if you watched. You can also book a couples lingam and yoni massage and have them done together. It is NOT sex. BUT I think it is really, really pushing liberty to license if you think it is ok to have the masseuse be nude as well. I think it wouldn't be bad if you had a clothed female masseuse perform a yoni massage on your wife while you watched. If your focus is her pleasure then that is I think a good option! My husband booked me a yoni massage when we were in Germany and it was fantastically orgasmic. My masseuse was female and fully clothed. The experience was wonderful knowing my husband so loved and cherished me that he would gift me that experience while he was working. Needless to say I lavished him with love that night.

  6. InTheNightGarden says:

    Listen up and be sure to read this whole comment: As with most of this stuff, you are not 'crazy' that sexy thoughts turn you on. It is the idea of sex, and seeing the desire for sex, and seeing arousal and orgasm -these things in almost any context will turn you on, IF there isn't something that your beliefs cause to be too great of a turn off. It is not crazy for you to be turned on by at least some of the idea of your wife receiving arousal and pleasure and orgasm from another; or even sex from another, or even in a gang bang. There is something arousing in the thought, because there is something sexual in it, whether or not your conscience makes it somewhat off-putting. You are not crazy, but it is wrong.

    You are out of line with God's will, if you allow yourself to seek activities or even fantasies that involve outsiders in sex or even in seeing the nakedness of yourself or your spouse. It is written, "you shall not even approach to uncover the nakedness of" those you shouldn't have sex with.

    So you are not 'crazy' to be turned on, but it is your responsibility to channel your desire into fantasies and actions that are acceptable to God and keep your nakednesses to each other.

  7. Caveman says:

    Fantasy within the marriage bed is fine. Engaging your fantasy, even as you describe it, is out of bounds in my opinion.

    Hebrews 13:4 considers sex outside of marriage to be immoral: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”. I do not want to preach here, but encourage you and your brides to prayerfully consider these passages and others. Then discuss this issue with your Pastor or another church leader. If you are unwilling to discuss this with your church elders then that might be an indication that you have moved out of bounds.

    If you move this from fantasy to real engagement does that lead you closer to sin? Does it move you, or your wife, closer in your minds to exploring more with strangers in your sexual lives, or “Marriage bed?” Even if it leads you further in your mind then it is a slippery slope to my way of thinking. I am not judging here, but just meditate of these things, pray, and ask your Spiritual mentors.

    I have a suggestion; why not enter into roleplay on your fantasy? If you were creative, you could act out the masseuse role. You could play the stranger and your wife, the object of your attention. You could even video record the encounter and watch it later, feeding your fantasy of watching. Maybe, your wife could watch it with you and go from there. There are many possibilities that can allow you to explore your fantasies without bringing a stranger into it.

    Amanda has fantasies about having two cocks at one time. We let her engage this fantasy, but not with a stranger involved. When we do this, she will have me and her favorite dildo. These encounters are always very enjoyable for each of us. She gets to have two and I get to watch her working her toy in/out of her pussy while she is greedily sucking and licking my cock. Sometimes she will engage her toy in other areas of her body, enjoying that as well. This is just an example of how we enjoy her fantasy in a way we think is not defiling our marriage bed. We both find these fantasies enjoyable, loving, and bonding for us.

  8. Caveman says:

    Fantasy within the marriage bed is fine. Engaging your fantasy, even as you describe it, is out of bounds in my opinion.

    Hebrews 13:4 considers sex outside of marriage to be immoral: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” . I do not want to preach here, but encourage you and your bride to prayerfully consider these passages, and others. Then discuss this issue with your Pastor or another church leader. If you are unwilling to discuss this with your church elders then that might be an indication that you have moved out of bounds.

    If you move this from fantasy to real engagement does that lead you closer to sin? Does it move you, or your wife, closer in your minds to exploring more with strangers in your sexual lives, or “Marriage bed?” Even if it leads you further in your mind then it is a slippery slope in my way of thinking. I am not judging here, but just meditate of these things, pray, and ask your Spiritual mentors.

    I have a suggestion; why not enter into role play on your fantasy? If you were creative, you could act out the masseuse role. You could play the stranger and your wife, the object of your attention. You could even video record the encounter and watch it later, feeding your fantasy of watching. Maybe, your wife could watch it with you and go from there. There are many possibilities that can allow you to explore your fantasies without bringing a stranger into it.

    Amanda has fantasies about having two cocks at one time. We let her engage this fantasy, but not with a stranger involved. When we do this she will have me and her favorite dildo. These encounters are always very enjoyable for each of us. She gets to have two and I get to watch her working her toy in/out of her pussy while she is greedily sucking and licking my cock. Sometimes she will engage her toy in other areas of her body, enjoying that as well. This is just an example of how we enjoy her fantasy in a way we thing is not defiling our marriage bed. We both find these fantasies enjoyable, loving, and bonding for us.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I would agree with the others. You are asking your wife to strip naked, show herself to another man, and then allow him to caress and pleasure her body until she climaxes (I assume from what you inferred.) In a very creative way you are asking her to have sex with another while you sit and watch, even if there is no penile penetration. That masseuse doesn't belong in your marriage bed, in my opinion.

  10. Forever625 says:

    I'm a man and get regular massages from a woman and I am naked under the blankets. It's non-sexual and great for healing the body. Wish my wife would act out the sexual version with me. Your story sounds like a great fantasy to role play yourself with your wife.

  11. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Hello, welcome. I don't want to come across as negative or unkind to you dear, but I have to tell you up front that I feel that it is wrong. I mean why would you want another man to touch your wife? She's yours only. I would be very jealous if my husband were to receive a massage from any woman besides me. I personally, would also be very uncomfortable with a man other than my husband, touching me that way, and I know my husband would be very jealous as well. I'm his wife and my body belongs to him, and him only.

    I understand that you said sex is crossing the boundaries, but even the "sensual touching" is wrong in this case, in my humble opinion, anyway. The nude massage is taking it too far, and when you said "not too much touching downstairs" would indicate to me that there was some touching there, and that's absolutely wrong! Salted Caramel's definition of lust is not correct, but I do agree with them when they say that sexual pleasure is only supposed to happen between you two, and nobody else.

    So I say yes, you should be "running in the other direction" as you put it. Why don't you give her a massage? I'm sure she'd love that. God love you and your wife.

  12. In love says:

    I really like cavemans comment. He gives a real example of a erotic fantasy he and his wife have that they role play together.Perfect example for the question at hand.

    I can understand the fantasy. I'm sure many guys have fantasies just like that. I get turned on by threesome fantasies. Role play and open discussion about our fantasies with our spouses is the best way to grow together sexually and spiritually from what I've seen.

    Hot sex and arousing conversation are the same love language to a guy as a wife being told that she's loved. It's great to hear all the people on this thread having open dialogue with their spouses about these things.

  13. Happy Husband says:

    As a fantasy I totally get it. I would never want my wife to be with anyone else, but both she and I have had threesome fantasies involving her with two men or even a man and woman. These will not happen.

    Proverbs 5:15 speaks to the foolishness of giving into such temptation that God even recognizes to exist within man:

    15Drink water from your own cistern,
    running water from your own well.
    16Should your springs overflow in the streets,
    your streams of water in the public squares?
    17Let them be yours alone,
    never to be shared with strangers.

  14. marriedandhappy says:

    Well I certainly can't say anything bad about your question, it's awesome that you're being so straightforward about it. For me, I've had similar thoughts about my wife, though not specifically with massages (although that does sound hot). The thought of another man seeing my wife naked really turns me on, and if my wife did receive a massage of this nature from another man…let's just say I'd have the biggest turn on of my life. I'm not even here to say it's right or wrong…I'm just saying that you're not alone. I have these kind of thoughts too.

  15. hubbabubba says:

    I agree with the idea of self video. If you like the idea of watching your wife be massaged by someone to climax, why not do it yourself with the camera running. Keep the shots low so you dont reveal yours or her identity. In the fantasy, you can both act as strangers where she is subdued in her responses and when you watch later, you achieve the same effect without the infidelity.

  16. ladygarden says:

    Hi Kiwicouple: I too welcome you to Marriage Heat. I lovingly disagree with my dear husband on this one.

    Yes, I admit to be aroused when a nice man finds me a attractive. And sure, it turns me on that my male professional photographer friend did a photo session of me nude and kept a couple of the pictures. I have shown the album to very special male and female friends who would not stumble seeing me professionally shot in the nude.

    However, I would not be comfortable having another man, professional or not, special friend or not, massage me unclothed. Too dangerous for both of us, lol. I couldn't and wouldn't do it. But sure, it would be an incredible fantasy.

    Not passing judgement or anything, merely responding to your question. Let the Lord guide you but I would be very careful with this idea and would not do it myself. Sorry.

    You Are Loved,
    Ladygarden

  17. Lovinghusband says:

    Hi KiwiCouple

    Welcome to MH

    I would like to try to encourage you with this thought:

    The number of sexual things we are free to do in the Lord is a very high number – when you factor in all the potential variations

    Plus, fantasies

    Let's just estimate the number of sexual scenarios that you can imagine being at 100,000. Just for a round number – I'm sure you two can go higher😊

    In light of your proposal – NOT pursuing it it – still leaves you two with 99,999 scenarios to choose from. They will all end with loving orgasms and satisfaction – with no guilt.

    Still a huge list from our gracious God!

    Enjoy in peace without regret. LH

  18. likemassages says:

    I say no. Either you or her or the "professional" male masseuse will probably lose control. (I know I would) And, then, then next thing you know is an unwanted sexual experience.

  19. John says:

    I totally understand and get the fantasy and desire….but run and run fast in the other direction. If you do this it will feul a fire you will find very hard to put out and one of the massage guys will fuck your wife and it may just keep going from there.

  20. TayTay says:

    Ladygarden, I love that you are willing to share your boudoir photos! As an amateur boudoir photographer I love to hear of how other ladies use theirs. I have pictures of myself on my website, and have some of my friends on there too as examples. Its fun and makes my hubby super horny to go on and look at the photos of me. It's a long distance marriage saver!

  21. ladygarden says:

    @TayTay: Thank you for the encouragement; glad to hear of another sister boudoir connoisseur ;-D. Its fun, isn't it? And a beautifully intimate yet romantic experience when done in the perfect setting. Proud of you for posting on your website; I have not been that bold yet other than sharing with my special friends. It makes me tingly watching them intently studying my photographs and commenting on them.

    And yes, a wonderful tool for those long distance separations from my dear husband. Speaking of which, our next story deals with that very topic, so make sure you check it out.

    We really enjoy your stories and comments!

    You Are Loved,
    LadyGarden

  22. TayTay says:

    @ladygarden, it's so much fun! I get to help so many women enrich their marriages! My face isn't visible in any of the photos on my site, I want to oreserve anonymity. I couldnt ask a friend or model to let me use their photos if I wasn't willing to use my own.

    My first story (still in the queue) is about distance too! Can't wait to read yours!

  23. kiwicouple says:

    Hey team,
    Thanks for all your comments, great to hear all your perspectives on this. @TayTay, yes we are from New Zealand, and thanks for the idea of a Yoni massage – will look into that.

    Going by your useful comments, I do agree that going down the path I described is playing with fire and therefore, is reason to head in the other direction. It is just easier to consciously do so, when the message is clear through good advice. For those that asked, don't worry, I do and will continue to massage my wife myself. This is one of our favourite things to do. I love pampering her!
    For the record, I did take my wife for a boudoir photo shoot and we both loved it haha 😉 some amazing photographs were taken!!

    Thanks again for your comments 🙂

  24. Anonymous says:

    Hello, as a trained massage therapist, one can cross the line too easily, if the line is moved. There is no going back once your wife has an orgasm on this man's massage table. Natural primal forces will likely take over in the heat of the moment.

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