Removing Guilt from the Marriage Bed
Although my husband and I were not virgins when we married, we did gift each other with our virginities. After that we had ups and downs. We lived together, slept together, etc…in other words we were out of Gods will. And we paid for it. We broke up and I went through a deep depression that led to promiscuity.
To this day I regret ever being in that place, in that state of mind. We both repented and asked forgiveness before we married and prayed over our marital bed. Now on to my story!
Our marriage bed is a place where I felt shame and guilt for so long. Even though I’d asked Gods forgiveness, I still held guilt in my heart for having been promiscuous. One night after reading MH, I was in bed alone as hubby was traveling for work. I had read several stories about marriage purity and about couples who were not virgins when married.
I began to sob as I realized that I wasn’t alone. I cried out to God to take away my guilt and to remove all of the “demons” of my past from the marriage bed. I asked God to give me the words to explain all of this to my husband. (Its worth mentioning that although we had broken up, my husband never had sex with anyone else).
When hubby got home the next evening, I greeted him with a big hug and tear-filled eyes. He noticed right away and asked what was wrong. I said, “follow me.” I led him to the bedroom where I turned down the covers and climbed in. He followed my lead and we sat facing one another. As tears ran freely down my cheeks, I explained how I’d prayed the night before, how I was so sorry for my past, how I was ready to move on. He pulled me into his arms and held me as I sobbed.
We did not make love that night but the intimacy and the oneness was something I still have trouble describing. We have been very blessed since that day and I just want to say thank you to all of you on marriage heat!! God bless!
Awesome story WeldersWife ! Now GO FOR IT, don't hold anything back, you and your husband deserve it, enjoy and have fun, the way God intended it, life has one direction – that is straight ahead ! May God bless your marriage bed abundantly !
Thank you OneCouple! If only I understood a long time ago that straight ahead is the only way. Sitting in the past gets you nowhere! God bless
God's grace will support you WeldersWife. Job 15:11 – Thou shalt be secure because there is hope. Thank you for sharing and God will bless your marriage.
My dear, God bless you! There is no reason to feel guilty if God has already forgiven you. Jesus paid it all!
Jesus has forgiven your sins now you must forgive yourself. Amen sister.
This breaks my heart. Praying for you.
Stay strong for your man and remember, condemnation is not the same as conviction. Condemnation comes from the enemy. It drags your self worth through the dirt with the chains of guilt and leaves with no way out.
Conviction is when the holy spirit comes into your thoughts (or life) and says "you need to stop/fix this." It is always gentle, firm and specific when it comes from God.
The enemy on the other hand seeks only to oppressive your soul with purposeless guilt that drives you down into depression. Conviction is empowering. Condemnation leaves you powerless.
Thank you all! I’m ever thankful for God’s mercy in our lives
I wasn’t a virgin when I met my wife ( she was ). On our third date , I told her I wasn’t a virgin. She said she didn’t care ! She said “ if God forgave you , so do I ! “. I knew I’d found a good thing !
Sometimes I wish I can turn back time , but the fact she loves me no matter what is very comforting
1956Packard, absolutely! My husband has never condemned me or judged me for it. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy I suppose
I'm so glad you are at a place of healing with this.
It will be important to recognize the old habits and voices that will try to creep in again and challenge God's forgiveness to you (to us all). Especially with sexual sins, the Church's attitude can be be disgustingly dehumanizing. I would suggest just avoiding people who use words that signal they have a demented view of sex. Words and phrases like "damaged goods", "used up", and even "slut". Yes, I've heard all of those from Christians ("Christians"). It's perverse and still prevalent unfortunately.
BUT I do have hope that things are improving. More conversations are being had. Sex is being treated more as normal instead of something to do shamefully in secret.
And you could never, ever be "damaged goods" because you aren't "goods". You have always been a cherished, whole human being. Keep being a whole, cherished human being who revels in sex with her husband.
Thank you so much She Writes! I too have heard all of those things from “Christians” and it breaks my heart. But I agree that the atmosphere surrounding sex is changing (slowly).
This is simple. You made a mistake (there is a long line of people ahead of you who've made mistakes too), you have lamented, and felt sorrow, you have asked for forgiveness and I pretty sure that God has forgiven you. You've done everything except forgive yourself, make peace and fully embrace the fullness of life with your husband here and now.
I don't know you so I don't know what you have to do within yourself to let go of the past, but you need to redirect your attention. You might see a therapist, pray for help, I don't know the right answer for you, but ironically you're now the one holding the key and don't hold hostage the beauty of your lives now for what has truly come and gone.
WeldersWife. . . I hope you get to read my comment. You & your husband are a great example the power of forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Now remember that in Isaiah it is said that, though your sins be as scarlet, (through Jesus) they will be white as snow. Many of us have messed up majorly and found our way back. That is the true beauty of Christianity! We believe people can repent, be forgiven, and have their heart cleansed and changed. We say we believe in Jesus Christ, but we also need to “believe Jesus” when he says we can be forgiven!