Greetings to you all.
I have often pondered whether to write a post like this. Now I have finally worked up the courage actually to do it. Any advice I’ve gotten on this question has always been unhelpful, so I turn to you today to ask advice and to get some things off my chest. Allow me to give you some background before I get into the meat of my questions.
I actively avoided dating in high school as I felt it would be a hindrance to my school work. As an honors student with multiple AP classes under my belt, I’m trying to become an ER doctor. I feel like the girls I know are stuck-up, prissy, superficial, immature brats. They wouldn’t recognize a hard day’s work if it socked them in the face with their daddy’s credit cards.
Perhaps that was a bit harsh and exaggerated, but it is how I feel about that kind of stuff right now.
As I look into marriage, I have heard from MANY men to avoid marriage. And honestly, I can see why. There is the ever-looming threat of divorce for men. It can drain away all their money, cars, houses, and other assets as well as any hope of seeing their kids.
A plethora of men have told me that many women only want men for their wallets. They equate a man’s worth to that of his net worth (NOT SAYING ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS!).
And finally, one objection that I have found within myself is being tied down. I have a lot of big dreams for myself as I become a man. I want to hike the Appalachian Trail. I’d like to see the world and travel. I’d like to play the piano and continue my family’s line of piano players (lots of men in my family were piano players). I want to scuba dive and study God’s creatures of the ocean. All these things I want to do, but I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do that stuff if I marry. I’d have to work my entire life for my wife and not get to do anything I’d like because of what she wants to do. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s how I feel about the matter.
At the same time, I’d love to be married! I’ve read all these stories on this site and have seen the great things that happen when marriages work out. And I’ve heard from many different men in my life describing how wonderful it is to be married. They tell me how they never regretted their decision to say “I do.”
I mean, what man wouldn’t want to come home to a woman who cares about them, wants the best for them, and is their biggest cheerleader? I’d certainly love it!
And of course, there’s sex too. Would not mind sex one bit 😉
To summarize this disorganized clump of a post, ladies and gentlemen, I stand at an impasse. I have one side telling me that marriage is the absolute worst thing to exist and that it will ruin my life. The other side is saying that marriage is the best thing in any man’s life and he’d be a fool not to marry.
So my question is: Should a Christian man even bother getting married or should he stay single?
Thank you for your time.
A Troubled Teen