Funny and Embarrassing Moments
Hi folks.
We all write about our very sexy times where we make love and screw like bunnies. But I have also had some hilariously embarrassing moments.
I will share three of my bad ones. How about telling us yours?
1. What can be worse? We were making very passionate love. I was in my wife’s mouth, and as I started cumming I also started farting! To make it even worse, it sounded like a machine gun. “Pop – Pop – Pop – Pop!!!” We cracked up, screaming with laughter.
2. Our new bed was slightly higher than the previous one. My wife was on her knees. I was standing on the floor on my toes so that I could enter her inviting pussy “doggy style.” As we were getting it on and all the moaning and fuck-sounds were filling the room, I had a severe cramp in my leg. Do you have any idea how stupid a naked man with an erection looks jumping around? My poor wife was still on her knees wondering why her pussy was suddenly vacant!
3. My worst ever! I wrote my wife an extreme phone message telling her in detail what I was going to do to her pussy when I got home. It was in extreme detail. Licking, sucking, fingering… I tried to be very sexy and XXX. I gave as much wild detail as I could think up. And then it happened. As I pressed the “Send” button, I saw that I had just sent it to… my Mother-in-Law!!
What was your worst moment?
Ahahahahaha ???? what did the mother in law say ????
You will be surprised. It was NEVER mentioned. Not a word! And this REALLY happened.
I’m cringing! That is so awkward! Would have been a 1000 times better if she mentioned it and laughed it off ?
Hahahaha! ? such a gift to be free to laugh with your spouse during sex! It has a way of deepening the friendship you share too.
We've also had a couple of farting episodes during sex, hilarious!
And, my first attempt at a strip tease turned into a ridiculously clumsy chicken dance ?? we still laugh about that one!
Oh! And on our two year wedding anniversary, we got snowed in at this log cabin resort and we were naked and both close to orgasms when the manager of the resort banged on the door asking if we had enough heat. Lol My husband peaked his head through the door as he stood behind it, naked and erect, and said, "we're both nice and hot, thanks!" the manager left with a crazy grin.?
We were having sex in a hotel in Portugal and forgot to put a Do Not Disturb on the door. Moments later my wife was trying to explain to a maid that spoke no English that we didn’t need her to change the bed linen wearing only a bra and skirt. Whilst I hid behind a door wearing only a condom.
I can think of one right now. I was thinking about my wife and our latest sexcapade when my pants got real tight. I was wearing athletic shorts in my car so I pulled them down a bit and set myself free. Only to look to my right to see a woman in a taller SUV looking at me in horror. Oops
Funny stories. The only thing I can relate to is the farting and the leg cramps. By both of us. 🙂
I love this! Two most recent ones involve the same Orthopedist! My wife had been complaining about her ankle hurting for weeks, she couldn’t figure out how she hurt it, she said she just woke up with one day. She was doing all the right things to help it, but she had constant ankle pain. I set up her up with an appointment with an orthopedist who is a friend, after a thorough exam of her ankle he was dumbfounded on how she could of gotten an ankle sprain from no apparent injury. Then it dawned on me. Several weeks prior she was thrashing about from some delicious oral stimulation from me when she fell off the side of the bed. I Went oh!! I whispered in her ear to remind her of the event and we busted out laughing!! He had no response.
About a year later during a weekend away we were being playful again, this time it was me who got injured. During our robust foreplay I went low, and she brought her knee up and caught me on the side of my nose and broke it!! We were laughing so hard. Tears from both of us, mine mostly because she had just broken my nose!! I really didn’t want to go to the ER so I texted my same Ortho friend and asked him how I could set a broken nose because my wife just broke mine! His response: I don’t want to know the details, go to the ER. So instead I decided to try to set it myself, I mean why not? I’ve seen it done on TV enough, and sure thing after a few tries it popped perfectly back in place. I texted him back and said: never mind, got it!! Then we went to dinner and had erotic conversation about how she just broke my nose. We embellished the event quite a bit since the people around us were listening intently. Next morning, I only had a slight black eye.
P.S. We love sharing these stories while sitting at the dinner table with our grown children and their spouses!! Always brings a laugh from us!
Our worst one happened about 3 or 4 years ago. My wife and I were out of the house at the time when it happened. Our oldest daughter, who was around 19 or 20, was at home with our youngest children, who were about 2 and 4.
For some reason the young ones got into our bedroom and we're jumping around on the bed and having a grand time. Our oldest came looking for them and was quite shocked at what she found. One of them had opened my nightstand and found my pink, jiggly, silicone "head honcho" masturbator and they started playing catch with it and running around the room waving it in the air. They thought it was the greatest toy ever! They wondered aloud to their older sister if daddy would play catch with them later with it when he got home.
It didn't take our oldest long to figure out what it really was, so she kindly took it from them and put it back. She later shared with my wife what happened, but was puzzeled as to why her father would have one. My wife had to explain it was a great substitute for sex during period days, to which my daughter said "aha".
Same daughter also walked in on us under the sheets (thankfully) one Sunday afternoon, we didn't have a door on our room due to unfinished renovations. She had a grin on her face as I'm sure she clued in on what was happening, yet she stayed a few minutes to get the answers for the questions she had before entering our room. Brat!
Only one that really comes to mind is almost getting caught masturbating by the cleaning lady in that hotel in Dallas. Door wasn't shut good and she just walked in. Thankfully she spoke before she saw me, giving me time to cover up. Didn't get to cum as the incident killed my mood. Ben put me back in the mood later however. ☺
Stay horny friends!
For me it was when our younger daughter who was a teen at the time found a used condom (by accident, obviously) in our bathroom rubbish bin, and she told her friend, then weeks later the friend told her that she'd found the same thing in her parents' room! Her mother informed us, and so we had a candid talk about this.
Harper- your comment reminded me of something similar many years ago. We had two young kids at the time and were using condoms at this time. I kept a huge box in my bottom night stand drawer. We did not worry about them snooping – ages 4 and 1. But, one night I threw one filled to the hilt with cum away in a downstairs trash can. Even as I came down the stairs the next day – I could smell the scent of my cum and the faint smell of my wife's puss. I came around the corner to to my 4 year old holding the dripping condom…saying "a balloon lost its air".
You better believe I started to throw them away more carefully? – pushing them to the bottom of the trash. I'll never forget washing my cum off my 4 year old's hand.
[…] We were getting busy in the vehicle behind the shed when I feel something crawling. Hubby turned on the light and it was a spider so obviously he tried to kill it. Babies went EVERYWHERE!!! I bailed out and ran across the yard to the house naked as the day I was born ??. […]
MH—thank you! I couldnt quite figure out what to cut(I tend to be long winded ?)
Spiders. Oh noooo. I would have dirtied the car.
Hilarious post and comments. Laughed out loud at the mother in-law one and broken nose ?.
We've had the maid walk into our hotel room as I was on top of my wife, we dived off the side of the bed yelling!
Then there was the loudest sex we'd ever had (up to that point anyway) in another hotel room.The double doors to the balcony wide open, with the view of the english countryside and Manor house veranda. When we finished I wandered over to look at the gardens, only to discover a large wedding party had arrived below our bedroom. Oops.
This one is easy. My wife & I were up visiting her parents. We thought we were the only ones home so we started having sex. Suddenly the door opened! It was my mother-in-law! She quickly closed the door & went away. Later that night, she said “I’m an ER nurse, I’ve seen far worse." That was the end of that.
I'm so late reading these but it's so funny.
Both my wife and I have been victims of the dreaded leg cramp. We've had my share of moments. The most memorable being when the balcony doors to our hotel flew open while we were on our bed fully committed. It gave the other patrons on the balcony across from us an unexpected showing.
For my wife her most embarrassing would be when our child, while on a video call with grandparents, accidentally dropped the phone and it slide under my wife who was standing up, wearing a skirt with no panties at the time.
Tgrcpl, I had a new one 2 night ago. We were making love and were quite loud. My Pitbull (22kg) decided something is happening and she better check that my wife is OK. She landed on my back and ended the evening with peels of laughter and NO ERECTION.
Oh wow!!! I can't even imagine!
What happened after both of those, tg? How did you guys or the people across the way react? And how did the inlaws react?
Jam777:
In the case of the hotel balcony doors opening up, nothing you could do but to stop and close the door. We both laughed it off but it made getting breakfast the next morning a little awkward. The good thing is we'll never see those folks again. So no harm, no foul.
As for the video conference incident, no one has ever brought it up. I doubt it will become dinner conversation anytime soon lol..