Height Differences and Sex

Hello! I’m a single woman in my twenties, and I have a question about navigating height differences when having sex.

I make up sex scenarios involving my future husband and use them to masturbate. Since I keep these scenarios realistic, they actually help me to explore my sexuality and how I view marital sex. Recently I started thinking about how height interplays with sex because I’m 4’11 and it’s very likely that my future husband will be taller than me.

So far, I’m thinking Missionary will not work unless it is modified? And positions like Woman on Top, Doggystyle, Spooning and Woman on elevated surface w/ Man Standing, will probably be ideal.

I know that sex is a hands-on learning experience, so height and sex is ultimately an experiment that we’ll explore after we’re married. However, in the meantime I was just curious and am always thinking of new scenarios!

For my fellow singles: Any thoughts or ideas about how height and sex may be involved in your future marriage?

For married couples: How do you get creative to either include height difference (as an advantage) or avoid height issues when engaging in sexual activity?

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45 replies
  1. southernmost says:

    Hey there!

    I'm a single man too and I've often wondered the same thing and it almost pertains to the kama sutra in my opinion.

    So, I would say investigate the kama sutra – there's a wonderful PDF form you can download. I won't mention the name of the author who compiled the particular PDF I'm thinking of, because I think it goes against MH rules, but I can tell you it uses real models to display the positions (so look for that one) and if I remember reading correctly, it does talk about height differences in the different positions.

    If you don't come right finding it, then find me in Songs of the Believers and I could give you the name there!

    Kind regards,

    • Hellohoneyiloveyou1 says:

      There's the "wrapp your legs around the man's hips and go for a ride' against the wall. Or kitchen counters? Or I saw this once: If both of you are in good shape. Husband picks you up , turns you upside down ( he's standing) you straddle your legs over his shoulders for support, then he sucks your pussy and you of course do the deed in his southern region. Imagine a 69 except it's vertical!

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Thanks for recommendation! I didn’t even think about kama sutra and will look for the pdf that you mentioned. I requested to join SOTB, so if I’m accepted, I’ll say hi. Hope you find your future wife soon!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Ha, I love how “wrapp” plays on my username. Great suggestions and they are definitely getting my imagination going!

  2. carmelsk says:

    I wouldn't worry about it very much. Seeing a couple standing side by side who are of different heights sometimes may raise eyebrows – like how's this going to work out in the bedroom. With the possible exception of the 69 position I haven't found it to be a problem.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Good to know and I will keep that in mind! I suppose single people sometimes overthink things that later on when you are married, aren’t really a big deal.

  3. Mistah C says:

    I’m actually on the opposite end of the spectrum. Even with my height I’ve never thought that it would be an issue. That’s a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it. It’ll probably be fun to figure what works in the mean time.

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Mistah C,

      I agree, exploring, especially in a sexual context is always fun. With marriage, we get a lifetime to figure out how to have a mutually-satisfying sex life with our spouses!

  4. ILoveMarriage says:


    My wife is 5' and I am 5' 11". Everything works great! This is all we have ever known, but I would say it is the ideal height difference.

    Missionary is our go-to position. Our mouths are in perfect alignment for kissing. I can suck her nipples, but it is awkward. Her breasts are small, so they can't be pulled up very far. If there was a little less height difference, I could probably do both without much difficulty.

    We are also the perfect height for 69.

    Really except for some standing positions which we have not found that practical, height isn't a factor for putting a penis in a vagina. The difference comes in what you can do with your mouths while his penis is in your vagina.

    One thing that fascinates me from reading here and other marriage sites is how wonderfully different and unique each couples' experience is. Not just due to height or size of sex organs, but their responses and preferences. Whoever you marry, just put the other's needs first, don't be afraid to explore, and it will be wonderful.

    I pray that you find your lover soon!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Thanks for the detailed response and that makes sense. I agree, it is amazing how no two couples are the same, in their love for each other, expressions of sex and sexuality etc., reminds me of our unique DNA and how remarkable God is. I really love the last statement you said [“Whoever you marry, just put the other's needs first, don't be afraid to explore, and it will be wonderful.”], which is great advice for singles and married couples, as it relates to sex and other aspects of marriage. Yes, I pray he finds me soon too and that you and your wife will have many more years of “I Love Marriage”! ♥️

    • ILoveMarriage says:


      "Yes, I pray … that you and your wife will have many more years of “I Love Marriage”! ♥️"

      Thank you so much!

      "I pray he finds me soon too"

      You ARE actively looking, right? God helps those who help themselves 🙂 (Deuteronomy 28:12). You deserve to be pursued. So does he.

      "I pray he finds me soon too"

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Perfectly said, I do think pursuance is a two-way street! And I have never heard of that verse in the context of dating 🙂 I would consider myself actively looking. I do strike up conversations with men that I like, about a common hobby, invite them to lunch/coffee etc., but the interest just hasn’t been reciprocated thus far. I know eventually I’ll cross paths with a man and we’ll have mutual interest in each other. Until then, I just have to wait it out and trust God.

  5. Sarge says:

    MiSWRAPP That is a very good question. I’m 6’1” and my late wife was 5’1”, but our height difference really never was an issue. FYI, my father was 6’4” and my mom was 5’ even, and yet here I am 😁. We never found a position that was incompatible with out 12” difference. Our favorite sex positions were doggy or cowgirl style. But the classic missionary position was great too. I’d say if there were any issues it might have been doing the 69 oral sex position, but even that wasn’t insurMOUNTable either.
    The best part of married Christian sex is that it’s guilt free, and since you’ll be spending the rest of your lives together, you’ll have lots of time to learn what works best for you both. Experiment with your man and just have an amazing time. Once you’re married there are no “holes” 😛 barred.
    I love the fact that you’re learning about yourself through self pleasure, and I encourage you to communicate with you future husband what you’ve found that works and incorporate it.
    I pray you’ll find someone who is a devoted husband and Christian. But until then, pleasure on.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Should I say keep the puns cumming?😂 Haha, thank you for your funny but insightful response. This is true, marriage is a lifetime license to pop the cherry again and again. I heard a saying once, “Before marriage, your eyes should be open and you legs closed, after marriage, eyes closed and legs open.” Yes, communication is key, and I will keep that in mind when the time comes, so thanks for the advice.

      This is off the topic of my question, but I admire how you and other widowers on MH continue to talk about your late spouses, keeping their memory and the love you two shared together alive. You all are an inspiration for singles like myself who pray we can find a love like you all have found. Hope you continue to have blissful memories of your late wife…true love never ends, just transcends♥️

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      True and I agree! Maybe the phrase is referring to closed eyes from orgasmic pleasure lol?

  6. Tulsa says:

    It's not a problem for us. I'm 12" taller than my wife. Missionary…..easy, and often. Woman on top…..also easy, and often.
    Somethings aren't as easy, but the only thing that comes to mind, is standing positions. Easy when I could just pick her up, and impale her on myself. Not happening anymore with worn out knees. Other things like standing doggie, we just utilize furniture or whatever to get things aligned!

    I wouldn't worry about it one little bit!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Ha, “easy, and often” love that! Yes, that makes sense that standing positions could be a hassle but like you said, getting things aligned for sex is easy and should be done often. Thanks for responding!

  7. BillyJoeBob says:

    I am 12" taller than my wife. Whether the height difference is a challenge or not depends on where your height is distributed, i.e. long torso or long legs, and the same for your prospective husband. Of greater importance is the attitude of the partners toward sexual intimacy, solving any issues, and making lemonade from lemons.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Good points about height distribution differences that I didn't think about. I agree, if there is a will, there is a way. When sexual intimacy is a team effort, with both spouses engaged and committed, beautiful (and pleasurable!) things happen!

    • LovingMan says:

      BillyJoeBob, I had this same thought about torso & leg length. And I agree that attitude about sexual intimacy in marriage is more important!

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      King Arthur,

      Great to know. Seems like all of the responses are indicating that height is not an issue. Thanks for responding!

  8. 1blessedman says:

    Aha, your height difference may work in your future husband’s favor if he loves to receive nipple stimulation. In the missionary position, his nipples may be closely aligned such that you can easily reach them by hand and mouth. I am 5’7” and my wife is 5’2”. If i were a bit taller, she could reach my nipps with her wildly expert mouth! As it is, I have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h and she has to squench down to do my nipps with her mouth while in the missionary position. (Is squench a word?) But we make do! If you marry a guy that is like 6’2”, then he could probably pick you up, hold you around your waist and have marvelous sex by him bouncing you in midair on his cock. When we were younger and I was into heavy weightlifting, I would do that sometimes with my wife. The first time I did it, she gasped very loudly and then really got into it. At 152 pounds, I had 16” biceps. Times change and I am no longer a young man doing pull ups behind my head. So, great times in our journey. My only regret in our many acrobatic and adventurous sexcapedes is that I have never mastered the highest level of romantic love-making that I read about some engaging in. There have been moments and candle light dinners and rose petals and cards and, etc. But I have just never received the Don Juan DeMarco medal. 😏
    That said——> Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out. One of the great things about marital sex is the exploration and discovery!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Oooh, I like the way you are thinking, so thanks for the suggestions and the explicit detail. I will now make a height less than 6’2” a dealbreaker for dating (just kidding). Yes, I agree marital sex is all about embracing change over the years, and reassessing physical abilities and sexual preferences as the years go by. I can't understand how some married couples say sex with the same person is boring after so many years. Personally, I think the “highest level of romantic love-making” is distinctive for every couple, much like an inside joke is to a longtime couple. It’s the “this is something special between two of us and no one else” type of bond, that I believe makes it the highest level. I would bet that you and your wife have already reached and surpassed the highest level. ♥️

  9. Fearless Lunk says:

    Laying down in bed together seems to be an equalizer. Plus your smaller frame will “cum” in handy for a LOT of reasons. Embrace your body and all the joys it will give your FH!

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Fearless Lunk,

      Thanks, you mention a great point! I agree, whatever type of body we have, there are benefits and ways that we can pleasure our spouses.

  10. Mr.Lover says:

    As a single guy in my late 20's, I have been interested in girls of all heights. Most of the girls that I meet are my height which is 5' 9" or shorter. So there is a pretty good chance that will end up with my future wife being my height or shorter.
    Height does not matter if you love each other. I have heard the cliche that girls want a really tall guy, so I thought that I was out of luck. Once I got to know girls more, I realize that it was no big deal. It was only holding me back confidence-wise. I love hearing about female masterbation, especially from single girls like you. I hope that future wife will enjoy masterbating. As two singles, maybe we will meet in real life and connect. Stranger things have happened. At any rate good luck to us both

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Mr. Lover,

      Sometimes we make things more important than they really are and when we realize that they are no big deal, then it is freeing. Glad you no longer are limited by that. I agree, when you love someone, you take them as they are, all of them (height or lack thereof included). There is a good chance that she is or at at least is open to idea! From the sermons I listen to and books I read, it seems like Christianity overall is sending sex-positive messages for men and women. It’s because of MH and aforementioned sermons and books that I became comfortable masturbating and started to embrace it. And who knows, God does work in wondrous ways! Yes, I’m sure the wait will be worth it and that God has perfect timing…hang in there😊

    • alwayswet101 says:

      This is so sweet the communication between you two! It’s so true though, it made me think of the fact that some clothing stores are even now selling sex toys and accessories for women and promoting the whole female pleasure concept in such a positive way it’s so nice to see this. Coming from a woman who is all for masturbation this is a beautiful thing. We all deserve wonderful orgasms whether that be solo or with our partners!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Female sexuality should be embraced and supported!

    • Peterpan says:

      @alwayswet101 I love to read your comments. They often tickle my fantasy, which often leads to masturbation. That last sentence you said is so true, whether you are single or in a relationship we all deserve a good orgasm. Thanks for your comments again, people like you are very important who speak out positively about masturbation and sexuality.

      @MisWRAPP I understand what you are saying in that one sentence. But shall we embrace (single) male and (single) female sexuality? Males do need positivity as well. I had a lot of struggles growing up with religion and masturbation. By the way, keep your posts coming as well. They are like alwayswet101, always positive and fun to read.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Absolutely! I do believe that male and female sexuality, whether married or single should be supported. In general, the conversation about sexuality and Christianity should be more positively and more openly discussed. AlwaysWet101 and I were only discussing female sexuality because of Mr. Lover’s comment about wondering if his future wife masturbates or not. In the last couple of years, I have becoming more accepting and not self-condemning of me masturbating as a single Christian woman, so I understand where you are coming from about struggles. From your posts and comments on MH, it seems like you have had success working through those difficulties, so I wish you continued peace and pleasure in your sexuality journey!

    • Peterpan says:

      The words that you said and I quote: ' I have becoming more accepting and not self-condemning of me masturbating as a single Christian woman. That is exactly what I had as a single young man growing up. Over the years a I grew older, first, it didn't become better. But like you, I worked on accepting and embracing my own sexuality. Which is sometimes still a bit of a struggle, but it is way better as it was. Christian websites like MH help with that struggle. Especially for the younger generation, it is important to have a positive view of masturbation and sexuality. I still hope that one day MH will start a forum. Where young and old can share their needs, struggles and stories of course. All in a positive way!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Yes, you hit the nail on the head. Although we’re unique individuals, we all have variations of similar life experiences (including sexuality and other aspects of life)…there is so much power in that unity and knowing that we’re not alone in how we feel and what we have been through.

  11. MiSWRAPP says:

    Thanks to everyone for responding and to MH for allowing me to post a question. I can't wait to apply all of your advice to my marriage one day in the near future and write about it on MH! xoxo

    • HappyHubby says:

      As everyone has indicated, I think you will discover that height differences won't matter in the least. You will have fun discovering what works for you .

      One more thing. Don't wait to for marriage to write. I'm sure you have some great tales to tell, perhaps in the fantasy section.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Yes, everyone’s comments have been positive, which is good!

      Thanks for the encouragement and I’ll consider that

  12. Leigha95 says:

    My husband is a solid foot taller than me. You can't do standing sex well, like, I'm too short for him to be inside if I'm standing. But he picks me up, I wrapp up and he goes to town. Missionary is fine but it's hard to kiss. You will honestly have so much fun being short. My husband loves that he can just pick me up and put me in different positions. Also, when he cums in me, he just carries me over to the toilet before he pulls out so we don't make a mess with sperm everywhere.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      So being short is both fun and practical…that’s a win-win! That’s a good point about the ease of getting into (and discovering) different positions. Ah, something to look forward to!

  13. RMD says:

    My wife is 4'11" and I am 5'7", which does not seem like much, but her shorter legs make some things hard. Missionary is not a problem for us with her legs up and knees either bent or straight. Other ways need creativity, For her to bend over for making love from behind she needs to be on a bed while I stand, or she needs to stand on two foot stools – the kind that are made for kids to stand on. Because she has a knee replacement, bending over can't be for long, so again, we have to find ways to work around this. We've had no problem being very passionate and emotionally connected in sex, despite the limitations of what we can do. Positions are fun, but it's the connection that makes even using the same position every time beautiful. Great sex is not about positions; it is about emotional connection, about love, about the heart and soul making love through our bodies. Don't get discouraged by what you will or will not be able to do. Find someone you love deeply and who loves you in return, and the simplest act of sex becomes just as deeply rich and fulfilling. The old saying here is so true – don't marry the one you can live with, marry the one you can't live without. With that one, sex will be beautiful.

  14. MiSWRAPP says:


    Excellent advice! It makes sense that every couple has to figure out how to best have sex considering height and other factors. Glad that you two have been able to maintain that emotional connection and navigate the challenges together. I’m really encouraged by the repeated emphasis of the emotional aspect of sex by husbands/males on the post, so thanks for reiterating that in a beautiful way [Positions are fun, but it's the connection that makes even using the same position every time beautiful. Great sex is not about positions; it is about emotional connection, about love, about the heart and soul making love through our bodies…..]

  15. Diligamus says:

    The whole thing, of course, is about finding someone who loves you unselfishly and for who you are, which is what Christian love is about, and practicing love, humilty, forgiveness and patience. Everything should take care of itself after that. Everybody has problems, but they can all be solved by practicing these virtues.

    Anyway, concerning the logistics, my wife and I are both 5'8". Since we are almost exactly the same height, making love standing up can be a bit of a challenge, but we manage because we like doing it that way. If I want to enter her from the front standing up, she has to either lift her leg a little and squat down slightly, or I have to begin thrusting as if I'm just going to stimulate her clit with my dick, but then after a few thrusts I enter her, and it feels, oh, so good when I do. When a man enters a woman, it feels as though her insides are full of hot, incredibly sweet honey. It's so incredible, and it's the reason men have to try and hold back from cumming at first because of the intensity of the pleasure that we feel when our hardness enters her hot, sweet vagina.

    Anyway, I grab her tight, big ass and keep thrusting until I cum. She can't masturbate herself in that position, which she loves to do, but she can in missionary, doggy, spooning, or if she's on her back and I'm on my side. Doggy can be a little challenging for us because of the way we're built, but we work around it.

    Your husband, if he were my height, could sit you up on the counter in the bathroom and make love to you standing—that way you could look down at his hardness going in and out of you and rub your clit if you like. My wife loves doing that and also loves looking down and seeing our connection. Doggy would also probably work pretty well, and woman on top should really be a lot of fun! That way, you are the one screwing your husband, and that can be really hot. He can suck your nipples and play with your clit, too. Missionary might be interesting, but I think it would work.

    It's great that you masturbate—keep doing that and think about that guy that you'll meet one day that really loves you and will screw your brains out 😉 I'm sure that God will send you someone that loves you and that you can love back, and I'll pray that He does. Please pray for us too, as we're having a lot of problems right now 🙁

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