Mother’s Advice
We were lying in bed that night following what we politely will call an intimate encounter.
My wife’s head was on my chest, and our legs were wrapped around each other. We both felt that post-passion euphoria. But for some reason, my wife asked a question you don’t usually hear in such a moment.
“Do you think SHE heard?”
‘She’ was our youngest daughter who was here for the weekend. Her room was next to ours, and maybe she heard something. Actually, she probably DID hear something.
I pondered how to answer such a delicate question in an equally delicate way. I thought of a moment early in our marriage when we spent a weekend with my wife’s parents.
One night, as I was starting to drift asleep, I was jolted awake by an elbow to the ribs. As I was trying to figure who or what hit me, my wife propped herself up. She looked me and loudly whispered, “Do you hear THAT?”
For a minute, I was more concerned about my aching ribs. But as I regained my senses, I heard distinct noises coming from the bedroom next door.
The squeak of the bed springs. The moan of a woman’s voice. The grunt of a man’s voice. Whispered laughs.
Yes. My in-laws were in the middle of well… you know.
My wife was surprised by this. She, of course, knew they had in the past. But she didn’t think they would still be going so strong when they were by then in their early 60s.
“They are not that young anymore,” she exclaimed. “What if the excitement is too much and one of them suffers a heart attack?”
I didn’t help matters by saying, “What a great way to go.”
My wife ended the conversation with great sincerity and determination. She declared that OUR future children wouldn’t never hear us doing anything like that.
Future Spoiler Alert: They did.
The nighttime activities of my in-laws inspired us early the next morning. The sounds of bed springs and stifled moans also accompanied our time together.
My wife told me later that day that she and her mother had “compared notes” about their intimate encounters. I never had the courage to ask what was in those notes. But my wife truly was concerned about her parents’ health. Not the passion part, the strenuous part.
Her mother, who didn’t mind us hearing them, just smiled and replied, “Don’t worry, my dear. We may be getting older, but we are not dead yet.”
As far as I know, their intimacy continued well into their senior years.
So here we were at the same age, doing the same thing. I was pretty sure our daughter would not be shocked by that. Not that we were embarrassed by that either.
My wife and I were having breakfast the next day when our daughter came bouncing down the stairs. She has her mother’s irreverent humor and mischievous grin. I knew something was up as soon as she walked into the kitchen. The look on her face told the story. She had heard.
“Gosh,” said our daughter, “I thought you two would never stop last night. For old people, you have stamina. I thought you might break a hip or something.”
Having just taken a bite of my toast, I froze in mid-chew and looked down at the table. I was not going there.
But my wife did.
“Oh honey,” my wife said to our daughter, “we may be getting older, but we are not dead yet.”
Good thing I didn’t choke on my toast.
Love it! My wife is embarrassed so much at the thought of one of our kids “hearing us.” I think it is super healthy for kids to know that “mommy and daddy need some ‘us time by ourselves sometimes.’”
Thank you for sharing!
🤣 That was great!!! As a senior married couple with major health problems we now make love every 3 days. It used to be every other day. We may have slowed down some, & often there are pauses in the sex session to catch our breath… or to let my heart slow down… or to shift around due to arthritis pain… but quite honestly the lovemaking has never been more fulfilling.
By the way, I liked your comment, “What a great way to go!”
When my wife and I were first married we had custody of my two kids from my first marriage. Our bedroom was next to theirs. Our then 8 year old daughter was a light sleeper and she would put on music or cover her ears with a pillow when she heard us. She never told us this until she was an adult.
My new bride n I were soooo hot for each other that we didn’t even think about the noise we were making. I had been a single dad for 4-5 years n my new sexy wife had never been married so we had some major catching up to do! 😉
But to be honest, our daughter has a healthy view of sex and a fulfilling sex life in her marriage. Although we don’t talk totally openly about sex, we DO recommend sex toys to each other.
We figure that our ancestors had a different situation and that the kids got used to it. I mean, some of them lived in one-room cabins, tee pees, tents, small one-room apartments or one-room tenant homes. The parents’ sleeping area MIGHT have been screened by a hanging blanket at most.
In fact, we read that separate bedrooms for centuries was a luxury of the rich & most people had little privacy. Ya gotta wonder if that gave people a less-taboo view of marital relations and a more open acceptance of nudity in general.
Ahhh, the circle is complete. You’ve written a very satisfying story beautifulcreature. I didn’t know where it was going when you started, but honestly, it couldn’t have ended any better. Well written and nicely done.
I love this! I wish more parents had this kind of relationship with their kids. Sex is a pretty major part of human existence, so it should be talked about as a normal and good thing (in the marriage context). The harm that has come from making it secretive and embarrassing is huge. I know it affected me. So this kind of story makes me grin.
Love this, thanks for sharing.
The slow burn of sin has taken so much away from us married folk. Especially, sex. What used to be common everywhere is, now, seen as poor taste, yuck, & even taboo.
It is now more accepted to think that kids should learn about sex from the gov. education systems, & the media, than for parents to educate kids on sex. They would say a more appropriate response of your daughter would be to hole up in her room & only come out when her parents left the house. Never talk about it, vomit at the thought.
Not too many decades ago, Happy Days & The Love Boat showed parents kissing their kids, on the mouth, Hi & Bye.
The world wants to say that marriage sex is wrong & all other sin sex is what next generations are to do. The world would be a better place if parents would take the reins & appropriately allow sex to have its place in the home. But, too often, kids today learn marriage sex as dead or silent.
Good post, great point to make. God bless.
Thanks for writing this beautifulcreature. I'd almost bet ( if I were a gambler, which I'm not) that ALL married couples share your concern(s) with being overheard by children / parents/ friends, even strangers..under certain intimate encounters.
Our oldest son ( almost 40 y/o) will sometimes spend the night @ our home when visiting late in the evening. His job is closer to our house than his apartment, so he keeps a few changes of clothes @ our place, so he has fresh clothes for work, should he decided to stay over.On several occasions, he found a reason to stay over for several nights in a row. I felt his extended stays started to get inconvenient..for lack of a better term. The noises we make (actually, my wife makes) when we're having one of our "enhanced" intimate sessions, can get quite loud, and the bedroom my son stays in is across a small hall. Having to avoid intimate sessions for a day or so isn't particularly bothersome, but after a few days, I'll usually drop a not so indirect hint that it's time for him to return home.
Very funny story, the idea that someone in their early sixties should be taking it carefully in bed because of their ageing health!!! I expect and hope we're still romping away all the way to our sunset years 😆.
This is such a refreshingly, uplifting story/account. In my younger years, I was more thoughtful about being heard when raising our kids. Now, in our senior years, if our adult children and grandchildren were to hear us – fantastic! If it creates conversation, better yet!
Thanks for reading and the comments!
This story made me chuckle! I'm of the opinion that good parents gross their kids out, and that there has not been nearly enough of that. The hesitation I feel at the thought of mentioning anything remotely sexual with any women at church, for fear of them being scandalized. The way most churches I've been to have never mentioned sex at all in a sermon, or tiptoed around it as cautiously as possible. I wish all of us were our own church together! (I suppose in a way we are) But for the homes, I hope that my generation and the next make an effort to model to their children what a loving relationship looks like in ALL its various aspects, including not hiding that yes, mommy & daddy do have sex, (hopefully) a lot!
Wait until you read my story that will be published 18 May 2024.
In time past, most families lived in a single room dwelling.
From what I've read of writing from the Middle ages, back then people were more open about sex.
It would have been normal to grow up hearing your parents having sex.
don't worry about them hearing – good on you I say. You are married, you should be sexual – and you need to model that for your children. Not that they should see you – but should know about it – ditto for masturbation.