Single Guy Grateful to Find MarriageHeat
For context, I’m a single, 28-year-old guy from Canada who came across this site out of a need for answers.
As a single guy with a high sex drive waiting for marriage, I’m thankful to have come across this site.
While I was recently getting out of a 12-year-long porn addiction (which I’m thankful to Christ alone for getting me out of), I still not only had a strong sex drive, but also felt envious and angry at seeing examples of non-Christians who seem to be having incredible sex lives.
Why are people actively taking part in adultery and being with numerous partners seem to be thriving in life and having such fulfilling sex lives while I’m doing my best to follow God yet haven’t found a connection with another woman yet?
It made me angry, it made me frustrated, but it also made me desperate for answers. I started finding answers in the rewards of waiting for marriage and having marital sex as the Bible commands. I also saw the consequences of following a lifestyle that looks hot and fulfilling on the surface, but according to the Bible, it instead leads people into depraved and sinful lives.
That’s when I found a story on this site about a couple who had overcome a swinging situation. They nearly gave in to that lifestyle, but came out better after seeking to fulfill their sexuality with each other and in a Biblical way.
Then I came across other stories on this site of people who were indeed having ridiculously fulfilling sex lives with their spouses (trust me, I’m not using these stories as “material”; just inspiration).
It honestly made me feel relieved and inspired as a Christian waiting for marriage. I really needed that assurance that God’s plan for sexuality was the right way to go, even if it would take me longer to have that desire come to full fruition through marriage.
In addition, I was able to see the lies of pornography and the hedonistic lifestyles they promote for what they really were: lifestyles that destroyed the beauty and fulfillment that comes through truly being connected with another person, instead choosing in favour of shallow and self-destructive sex lives that bring out the worst in ourselves and in others.
The church doesn’t often like to talk about sex, or how much of an influence it has. But with how many people nowadays view pornography, read erotic novels, or simply live out non-Biblical sex lives, I think it’s incredibly important to attain a proper and healthy Biblical view of sex. Otherwise, it becomes too easy at one point to believe the lie of Satan: that Biblical sex is unfulfilling, and the only fulfillment one could get from sex is to do the exact opposite of what the Bible says.
It also made me realize that as a man, I would have to fight for my future marriage—to ensure that my wife continues to belong to me, and for me to belong to my wife. It wouldn’t be a passive expectation that remains in the background, because that would allow room for extramarital desires and affairs to take root in both of us.
But also, most importantly, these revelations helped me with my relationship with Christ, because it made me realize that He really does want what’s best for me. Also, I found encouragement to continue working hard on myself so that I could have a fulfilling monogamous relationship one day like the people on this site do.
So for the founder of this site, and the people on here, I want to thank you as a single Christian guy who’s still in the process of working towards a fulfilling marital relationship one day. You’ve all been a great encouragement and help to me, and stopped me from believing the lies of porn and non-Biblical sex lives.
Hey DH!
I’m so glad that our stories are inspiring you! I can relate to much of what you said. I went through a divorce and was tempted to throw in the towel on God’s commandments. I saw how so many people who rejected the Ten Commandments were seemingly prosperous.
I found great peace in Malachi 3: 13-18.
God will remember those who seek to keep his law’s & commandments. He refers to us as “His jewels” & he’ll remember us.
Jesus said that His peace was not as the world’s peace. It looks like you have discovered that great truth! So good for you!
I pray that you will find your future wife. Marriage is hard work but soooo fulfilling. It’s ok to hold onto that longing for marriage. Those desires were put there by God. Of course you also need to do your part and be making some effort to find your Miss Wonderful.
That being said, I met my Melody in Sunday school. Our shared faith in Christ really helps our relationship. I was glad she was open minded enough to be accepting of a single father. In fact she has been and continues to be a great mother to our children. She’s an awesome grandmother too. And yes, after 30 years our sex life is if anything more fulfilling- even with the health imposed limitations.
Welcome DH! You have found an absolutely awesome community here. I too stumbled on Marriage Heat about three years ago and it has played a major role in revolutionizing how I look at sex and marriage. By the grace of God, I am embracing my sexuality and waiting in purity for marriage, all while enjoying the journey of self-exploration and education. I hope you enjoy the stories, both fiction and non, posted here. I share romantic historical fiction (since I'm an author) and real stories from my sexual journey. Great to have another single here!
Welcome to a great community of sex positive believers!
When looking for a mate, it's best to never get angry. Always be happy and enjoy life. Women don't want to be around an angry man.
And yes, promiscuous people might look to be having fun at times but that is subject to the law of diminishing returns. There are often diseases of the mind and body too.
What story about overcoming swinging are you referring too? Great testimony!
Welcome Daft Hunk! Enjoy!
Hi DH! Welcome to MH, glad to be seeing more singles here and it’s awesome you are waiting for marriage. I look forward to seeing what you have to write!
Hi SSS, it’s nice to see you coming on and commenting! I wish there were more of that. Hope you’re enjoying your self-play until marriage — I’m in the same boat! God bless.
Great to read your post DH. We've been married over 30 years and it's a puzzle to me how anyone thinks they can get really deep, satisfying and really erotic sex without spending many years learning about their lovers needs. A woman's body in particular is a many layered mystery, that years and decades of love and intimacy continues to discover deeper and more wonderful sex and orgasms to make her scream! Sex is about how much you can give, not what you can get. With a married couple committed to each others pleasure, I can joyfully say it only gets better!
As far as finding your future wife, be the best man you can be.
I think Galatians 5.22,23 describes the men we should be. And the kind of man a woman would want in a husband. Pick the attribute you are worst at and choose to change that about you first. Be a safe place and Daft-honey will find you!
Excellent comment Britbloke. My wife and I have been married 32 years. We were both virgins when we married and it was nice learning about everything together. You are spot on that a woman's body is a mystery. It's so cool how different God made us as men and women. So complimentary yet so different.
Hi daft_hunk,
What ever you wrote you inspired me, I am also looking for someone like you who has a self control on his sexual aspect as these days such christian man are hard to find, if you are interested to know me personally if we could be potential match from God do contact me back ,i dont know how to contact you personally here as no other contact details are shared but you can mail me at this email id […]
[Edited by MH. Sorry, as a policy, MH does not allow or facilitate the sharing of personal contact information.]
The sex toy discussion forum sextechunwrapped would be better suited for a conversational format.