Never Too Old to Learn
Never Too Old to Learn
At least for some of us…
I’ve written in previous stories how I’ve read and come to believe that for women, having an orgasm is—or can be—a learned response. This comes as a result of my reading on the subject, and from incorporating various methods to improve my Mary’s sexual response. More specifically, efforts made to improve the frequency and strength of pleasurable sensations and orgasms experienced in our love making.
The response has been noticed in the strength and frequency of Mary’s orgasms, which have continued to expand, and she now has what I can only describe as gushing orgasms. Mary has had a small amount of dripping, squirting or spraying release with her orgasms infrequently in the past, but this has recently increased in both the frequency of occurrence and amount of fluid released. The last 3-4 times we’ve engaged in our physical playtime, Mary’s response has been increasingly stronger. Perhaps this is due to her higher level of arousal, which may be a result of her applying lube to her external and internal pleasure zones.
While I used to apply lube for her, I encouraged her to take this task upon herself. My rationale was (and is) that only she can determine what feels best for her; where to touch, how much pressure to apply when touching her most sensitive areas, as well as how slow or fast to rub those spots. I admitted to her how incredibly sexy she looks as she responds to her touch, and that it greatly excites me to watch her building excitement. She has several orgasms, which build in strength, while applying lube. This also results in her responsive tissues becoming swollen with the increased blood flow to the area, as well as becoming more sensitive.
I’d also mentioned that when Mary has a squirting or gushing release during an orgasm, it becomes necessary to add additional lube for continued play. Because the lube we’d been using is water-based, it washes off easily with water (or fluid, it seems). Years ago, I purchased a variety of lubes to try, both water- and silicone-based. We even tried some heating and cooling lubes, and some described as hybrid lubes. We tried them all. We used each a few times, and then for variety, we would switch to another. This resulted in our having a wide variety of different lubes in our cabinet.
I found a silicone-based lube and decided to try using it, since no toys were being used, just our fingers. I discovered that the silicone lube requires a smaller amount to be applied for a slippery result, and it doesn’t absorb into the skin like water based lubes seem to do. It also doesn’t need re-application after Mary has had a gushing flow of fluid discharge. It remains slippery!
I’ve concluded that it is possible to learn to squirt with an orgasm (at least for some, like my Mary), and that this response can build to a greater intensity with practice. I questioned her on her feelings when she squirted, and she admitted it felt more intense when she released fluid during an orgasm. I also came to the realization that there are certain circumstances in which a silicone-based lube is clearly superior to a water-based lube.
Finally, I would never have imagined it’s possible to learn and experience so much greater enjoyment in the sex act later in life. We’re having the most enjoyable, passionate sexual activity while in our 70’s! Who would have thought that it could be possible?
I praise and thank God for the miracles He has built into our bodies.
OldTimer, I am so impressed. Your efforts with your wife to enhance her sexual experience and pleasure is so inspiring! I will add that experimenting with different lubes, techniques, positions, sex toys, etc. is a great idea. My wife & I have done this.
Everyone & every couple is different. So results may vary. I suspect that some women can not learn to squirt. But when the couple are willing to keep learning then the sex is just going to get better!
Also, age & health issues have of necessity made us have to try things in a different way. Yet like you, our intimate life has only gotten more fulfilling!
Thanks for the post OT.
Mrs B has not yet learned to squirt but we've been talking about it recently and trying out new things, particularly her kneeling while I use my fingers to bring her to quaking orgasms. We're both trying to read her bodyresponse to various stimulation in order to unlock and free that new experience. So more lube is another tip. We generally use coconut oil or a couple of water based lubes from the sex drawer, but no silicone ones in there. Will order some now!
Also interested in love candles. Anyone tried them out?
"Everyone & every couple is different."…. truer words never spoken, LovingMan.
Thanks for your comments. I do not discount that much of the response our mates have to our sexual attention is resulted not by the stimulation alone, but by the relationship we have with our partner. Developing trust and acceptance is essential to forming a strong bond between partners and it is not easily accomplished. I believe that a strong bond is created by a long history of little things reflecting the love & admiration 2 people have for each other. This may be why those in longer relationships can experience better sexual interactions. I'm not saying I'm an expert in this area , but have come to conclusions based on my experience.
Everyone & every couple is different."…. truer words never spoken, LovingMan.
Thanks for your comments. I do not discount that much of the response our mates have to our sexual attention is resulted not by the stimulation alone, but by the relationship we have with our partner. Developing trust and acceptance is essential to forming a strong bond between partners and it is not easily accomplished. I believe that a strong bond is created by a long history of little things reflecting the love & admiration 2 people have for each other. This may be why those in longer relationships can experience better sexual interactions. I'm not saying I'm an expert in this area , but have come to conclusions based on my experience.
Hearing from older couples who are making their sex lives better with time is SO encouraging to me. I've hated the thought that intimacy just dies off in many marriages, and I didn't want to have that to look forward to. You all inspire me to take this by the horns and learn new things and cultivate my sexuality, so that whether or not I ever marry, I can enjoy the gift God has given in my body.
P.S. I really want to learn to squirt and sometimes I feel like I'm getting right to the brink of doing so. I'm blest to be very wet when I masturbate (I've never needed lube), and I certainly secrete quite a flow of cream when I finish, but I have yet to truly squirt. The experimentation process is fun though! Last night I think I had a different kind of orgasm and I felt closer to squirting than ever. I'll have to do a post on it.
Don't know why my reply that was written to LovingMan was posted beneath Britbloke's post..I did write BOTH comments beneath & in response to LovingMan's post.
To Britbloke_ Thanks for your comments as well. I'm uncertain as to whether every woman is capable of experiencing squirting / gushing, or even wet orgasms. I have read that there are some women that do not have sufficient "g-spot" tissue for this phenomenon to occur. I also read that this area of tissue (the g-spot) may need prolonged stimulation to "awaken it" and have it respond with a fluid release. The company that developed the Sybian machine had an online article titled "Reboot your sex life" which I read, took notes from & used to incorporate in our intimate playtime, which gave positive results. They market a hand tool ( toy?) for the purpose of awakening this area. Unfortunately, the link to that article is no longer online..wish I'd printed out the (long / detailed) article to share, unfortunately, I saved the link to it, but when I tried to connect to it, it isn't there anymore. The tool they suggested is still available on their site, it's called the G-spot activator ( https://sybian.com/product/g-spot-activator/) I believe anything could be used for the same purpose, I didn't purchase the tool, but did use fingers & toys for the same purpose. I also recall Mary had a squirt response the 1st time we tried using a vibrator..though I didn't understand the how or why it happened. Later focus given to the area resulted in a more consistent ( and stronger) response.. i.e. practice makes perfect.
LovelyLonelyLady:
While it is commendable that you are making an effort to learn how your body responds and what feels best to you, as it will make you a better lover and more responsive to your mate, it still may result in falling short of your expectations. A person's sexual response can be ( is ? ) very complex , and is a blend of the mental / emotional/ physical / and spiritual components of those involved. While one may practice, & even master the physical component, the mental /emotional / spiritual connection is something that can't be imagined or created without another person. I have no doubt you are aware of this, but I mention this as I believe that the full joy and pleasure you seek may be absent without the involvement of your life mate. Prayers that you will find yours.
That is fantastic. I have longed for Kate to squirt, but it has not happened yet. We've talked about it, but she finds it odd, for lack of a better term, and seems to be hung up on the idea of it.
We have a couple we're good friends with and will share some bedroom ideas/pointers with, to a point. Was talking to the husband about my efforts to warm Kate up to focusing on squirting. "Do you think she'll just pee on you at some point so you'll shut up about it?" he asked. I told Kate about his comment and we had a good laugh, because we regularly enjoy mutual golden showers, but haven't shared that with our friends.
As for lubricants, they can make all the difference in the world and they're not all the same. We had only used silicone for anal, but didn't really like the ones we had tried all that much. I have used silicone lube a time or two, due to its water resistant qualities, when I would hang Kate's head off the edge of the bed and throat fuck her. We don't do that often. I love it, but it takes trust and communication to thrust deep into her throat and have her breathing cut off momentarily. At this point, we have a gallon of water based lube for regular PIV sex, silicone for the occasion deep oral play, and we've switched up to natural oil products when I'm in her butt.
It is a beautiful thing to read accounts of you and your wife enjoying your passions in your golden years. Keep the stories, and most importantly the adventures, going.