The Good Girl’s Guide to Naughty Sex: A Newlywed’s Handbook
Hey there, newlyweds! First off, congratulations on tying the knot! As someone who’s been married for a while now, I wanted to share some deliciously naughty secrets that have kept my marriage sizzling. If you’re looking to transition from sweet to steamy, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s Talk About Good Old-Fashioned PIV Sex
Before we dive into the more adventurous stuff, can we just appreciate how amazing regular penis-in-vagina sex is? There’s something so primal and intimate about it—the feeling of fullness, the skin-on-skin contact, the way you can look into each other’s eyes while your bodies move together. My advice: don’t rush it. Try different angles—woman on top lets you control the depth and rhythm, while spooning creates this incredible closeness that makes every thrust feel more meaningful.
When I’m on top, I love to lean forward just enough that my breasts brush against his chest with every movement. The friction sends tingles straight to my core. And when he’s on top? I’ll wrap my legs around his waist, crossing them at the ankles to pull him deeper inside me. The way he fills me completely, stretching me just right, is pure ecstasy. This also makes him feel even more wanted. Pulling him into me deeper with my hands on his buns has the same effect.
The Art of Oral Pleasure
Let’s be honest—you’re both probably curious about oral sex but maybe too shy to ask. Here’s my no-shame guide:
For Him
– Start with soft kisses along his inner thighs, working your way upward with torturous slowness
– Use your tongue to trace patterns around his shaft before taking him in your mouth
– Pay attention to his reactions—those little gasps and moans are your roadmap
– Don’t forget the balls! Gentle cupping and light licking drive most men wild
– Use your hands in combination with your mouth for varied sensations
I love watching my husband’s face when I take him deep into my throat. His eyes roll back, and this guttural sound escapes his lips that makes me wet instantly. Sometimes I’ll vary the pressure, sucking hard one moment then barely touching him the next. The unpredictability drives him absolutely wild. Try practicing using a banana.
For Her:
– The clitoris is your North Star—most women need direct stimulation to orgasm
– Try different patterns: circles, up-and-down, side-to-side
– Insert one or two fingers while you lick—find that spongy spot on her front wall
– Pay attention to her breathing and body language
– Don’t stop when she starts to orgasm—that’s when the magic really happens!
When my husband goes down on me, I feel like a goddess. He starts with these feather-light touches that build anticipation until I’m practically begging for more. Then he’ll flatten his tongue and give me long, slow licks from my entrance to my clit. When he finally focuses on that sensitive bundle of nerves, circling it with just the right pressure, I see stars. Adding his fingers to curl against my G-spot while he sucks on my clit? Pure heaven.
Toy Story: Bringing Playthings to Bed
Sex toys aren’t replacements—they’re enhancers! Start with something simple like a bullet vibrator for her or a vibrating cock ring for him. The key is introducing them without pressure: “I read about this and thought it might be fun to try together.” My personal favorite? A remote-controlled wearable vibrator that he can operate during dinner. The anticipation is half the fun!
Last week, we tried a new rabbit-style vibrator that hits both my clit and G-spot simultaneously. As I lay back with my legs spread wide, my husband watched me use it on myself. The way his eyes darkened with desire as he watched the toy disappear inside me, making me arch and gasp, was almost as hot as the orgasms that followed. When he took over, controlling the toy’s movements while kissing me deeply, I came so hard I saw colors.
Remember that there are also vibrating strokers and other sex toys for men.
Lingerie: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Invest in beautiful lingerie, not just for special occasions. Something about knowing you’re wearing something sexy underneath your regular clothes creates this delicious secret between you. My husband still loses his mind when I surprise him with a new set. Pro tip: let him pick something out for you—it’s a gift that benefits both of you!
I have this sheer black babydoll with matching crotchless panties that drives my husband absolutely crazy. The way the fabric barely conceals my nipples while hinting at everything else has him hard before I even touch him. Sometimes I’ll wear just the baby doll while doing housework, bending over “accidentally” to pick something up. The look on his face when he catches that glimpse is priceless. There are many types of lingerie, including open-cup teddies, etc.
Foreplay That Lasts All Day
Who says foreplay has to start in the bedroom? Send flirty texts throughout the day. Leave a note in his briefcase. Give him a lingering kiss that promises more later. By the time you’re both home, you’ll be ready to rip each other’s clothes off.
Yesterday, I sent my husband a photo of me in just a towel after my shower, with the caption “Can’t wait for you to get home and help me dry off properly.” He replied with a picture of the bulge in his pants and the words “Counting the minutes.” By the time he walked through the door, I was already wet with anticipation. He didn’t even make it past the entryway before pushing me against the wall and kissing me senseless.
Sleep Naked: The Ultimate Intimacy Hack
This one’s simple but transformative. Sleeping skin-to-skin increases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and makes middle-of-the-night intimacy more likely. There’s nothing quite like waking up to your partner’s hands exploring your body in the dark.
The other night, I woke up to my husband’s lips tracing patterns down my spine. His hands cupped my breasts, thumbs brushing against my nipples until they pebbled. I arched back against him, feeling his hardness pressing against my ass. Without a word, he entered me from behind while we lay on our sides, one hand still playing with my nipples while the other found my clit. The slow, deep thrusts in the darkness felt so intimate and raw.
Spooning Sex: My Morning Favorite
I have to confess—my absolute favorite thing is waking up with my husband’s erection nestled between my butt cheeks. The way he hardens against me while we’re still half-asleep is incredibly intimate. Spooning sex is perfect for lazy mornings because it requires minimal effort but delivers maximum pleasure. He enters from behind while you both lie on your sides, and his hands are free to explore your breasts and clit. The angle hits all the right spots inside, and the closeness is just heavenly.
This morning, I felt him growing hard against me as dawn filtered through the curtains. I wiggled back against him, just enough to tease. His hand slid down my hip, pulling me closer as his length nestled perfectly between my cheeks. When he finally entered me, it was with this slow, delicious stretch that made me gasp. His fingers found my clit, circling in time with his deep, measured thrusts. The combination of fullness and external stimulation had me trembling in minutes. We came together in this quiet, intense explosion that left us both breathless and clinging to each other.
Nipple Play and Breast Sex
Don’t underestimate the power of nipple stimulation! For many women, direct attention to nipples can be almost as arousing as clitoral stimulation. Try different pressures, temperatures (ice cubes can be fun!), and sensations. And breast sex? Yes, please! Lubricate his penis and have him thrust between your breasts while you hold them together. It’s visually stimulating and creates a different kind of intimacy. Also try the husband rubbing his lubricated tip on your nipples as he or you stimulate your clit with a hand or vibrator.
My nipples are incredibly sensitive, and my husband knows exactly how to drive me wild by playing with them. He’ll start with gentle pinches that send jolts straight to my clit, then progress to sucking and nibbling until I’m writhing beneath him. Last weekend, he tried something new—trailing ice cubes around my areolas before warming them with his mouth. The temperature contrast made me arch off the bed with pleasure.
For breast sex, I lie on my back while he straddles my chest. I push my breasts together to create a tight channel for him to thrust into. The sight of his head appearing and disappearing between my cleavage with each stroke is incredibly arousing. When he’s close to finishing, I’ll tilt my head up to lick his tip with each upward thrust. The combination of visual stimulation and physical contact drives us both wild.
The Bottom Line
Marriage doesn’t mean the end of adventure—it’s just the beginning. The most important thing is communication about what you both want. Be brave enough to ask for what you desire and generous enough to give what your partner craves. Remember that everyone and every couple are different, and explore with kindness and an open mind to find what works well for your sexy marriage.
Here’s to a lifetime of incredible sex!
XOXO,
Sabrina Marx
As always Sabrina, I enjoyed your writing very much. Appreciating the checklist tutorial for newlyweds.
For me the first step would be communication. For too many people being able to be open and honest is put low I'm the list. Very much because of the courting process.
That part where we put our best foot forward and let them see only the parts of us that we hope they find desirable.
And we've never communicated who we really are before coming to the. Point of matrimony we will find that it's hard to be who we really are. Because now we are locked in and afraid that we will lose what we've obtained should we let down our guard. They say the top three reasons for marital disputes are economics, family and sex.
All things that we should be discussing. Before that day.
For Christians the problem is compounded because we have the layering of purity, personal holiness and innocence in place.
The timing for this honesty is kind of precarious. If it's too soon it could be too much to add to the budding love that we've discovered between us. If it's too late we risk the embarrassment and feeling of letting down the image which we put forth at that point. Irony being that as Christians who claim to follow the truth We have we withhold the truth with the one we hope to spend the rest of our life with.
The bravado can only last so long before the real us begins to surface and if we are denied those things which we have desired to find a marriage to satisfaction find a place in our heart.
Yes all of these things that you say a wonderful things to learn. And it's I'm so very important to learn each other's ways and desires so that we can satisfy them.
What have We haven't been forthcoming from the beginning We may never come to that point.
I've been married 40 yrs but still found this educational.
Good advice to the newlywed or veteran.
Sabrina I liked this post. Even us long-time married couples benefit from new ideas for our sexual playtime!
@Sabrina Marx, Good advice, even more so for those longer married, to re-experience each other, and move out of the 'He/She is used to the following, so let's stick to it'. The only thing I can add is that a quick, unplanned, ravenous session is awesome and has its place, but you need to plan for a slow day, where the play between husband and wife is slow, starting early morning, or even a day before, to build an emotional closeness, and build a yearning – and desire – as opposed to just heading for the ultimate goal or release.
@Sabrina Marx fantastic advice and definitely not just for “good girls”.
For the men, I’d add that newlyweds definitely shouldn’t skip oral on your wedding night. He might be anxious, hard and ready for PIV, but she might not be. Go down on her until she’s demanding you to be in her. Learn to enjoy eating her pussy and she’ll let you do it often!
Newlywed couples should definitely look at trying a number of different positions on their honeymoon….they’ll feel different for her. Some better than others. My wife loves “doggy” and “edge of the bed” positions as they feel great for her, but missionary isn’t anything special and is still slightly painful due to angle of penetration, my size and curve hitting her cervix. Experiment and find what feels good for her! Make love to her, putting her pleasure first and you’ll be more likely to have the frequency of sex that you desire.
It sounds like you two are a "good fit".
Good advice I love going down on my wife to explore and make her burst she not so much on me. But she does pleasure me while I lick her out and normally cum over her. Also great to taste it.
You should consider putting all of these thoughts into book form. There is plenty of topics here to do a great straight to the point book. Having been writing for some time and published a book and other media, if you do have a go at a book, keep it to about 175 pages or less. There is research that 175 is a stopping place for many people. The above would make a great 150-175 book. Tasteful line drawing characters to give visuals. Maybe a vernacular that is not scientific but not ghetto either! I think it would fly off virtual shelves!
EXCELLENT points!
I was especially intrigued by what you wrote about getting tit-fucked.
I know that some (most?) women enjoy it, too, but I have never seen a woman describe her thoughts about it in detail. Bravo! (And, "fun" reading.) 😉
Any tips for new married couples when it comes to finishing oral sex?
Obviously, as a woman you know how you like to have your pussy licked and fingered and you described it perfectly. I LOVE eating my wife’s pussy. Watching her squirm and hearing her lose all composure as I suck her clit and do the “come here” finger motion against her g-spot. Once I start oral for her, I don’t stop until she has orgasmed and taps out by patting my head and closing her legs.
As a man, your oral instructions “For Him” are spot on. Start with kisses, followed by long gentle licks up and down the shaft. Build that anticipation. Take him deep into your throat. Make it wet and sloppy. Vary the amount of pressure and suction. Swirl your tongue on his most sensitive area, the underside of the tip.
It’s no wonder your husband reacts the way he does when you suck his cock. He feels like a king. A true man…respected and sexually desired. Do you take him until he cums in your mouth, do you just use your hand the rest of the way when he’s close to orgasm, or do you deny orgasm and just use a blowjob as foreplay for PIV?
My wife struggles with oral. Said she’d never do it when we first got married…now she does, but won’t allow me to finish in her mouth. Granted, most of the time oral for us is just foreplay for PIV. However, when it’s the main event, she’ll take me to the edge and finish by hand, making a mess everywhere on the bed and requiring more laundry. I’m getting desperate wanting to cum in her mouth as it feels a bit like rejection by not….my cum is good enough for her vagina, but not her mouth…that kinda deal.
Djm0226,
Ask her for a "compromise" by her taking your cum on her face.
Then, after she has gotten accustomed to that, perhaps she will be more willing to let you cum in her mouth. (Sometimes, she might get a "sample" of it by accident. Try not to make a big deal of that "victory", but rather let her express how she felt about it. My guess is that she came from a repressed upbringing, and so actually saying the words that she enjoyed it might be difficult for her. That problem was a lot of what destroyed my first marriage. I fully understand that feeling of "tacit rejection".)
**Tutchh** – Beautifully said about communication and the masks we wear. That paradox of "following Truth" while withholding truth from our spouses cuts deep. Starting those vulnerable conversations—whether on day one or day one thousand—is brave work.
**Forestwanderer, LovingMan** – Love hearing from long-married couples still exploring. That's the goal!
**KnowMe** – YES to the slow burn. Quickies have their place, but that all-day anticipation? Magic.
**Djm0226** – Great advice for the grooms! To answer your question: yes, I take him to completion and swallow. It's become something deeply intimate for us—full acceptance, no rejection. For wives struggling with this: your husband's desire isn't about performance, it's about being fully wanted. That said, **TurnedOn47**'s gradual approach is wise—build comfort over time.
**1blessedman** and others mentioning the book idea—I'm actually considering a **collection of my short stories** rather than an advice book. Think 150-175 pages of the kind of stories I write on Marriage Heat, compiled in one place.
**Question for everyone:** Would you be interested in that? Would you buy it? I'm genuinely curious—let me know what you think!
**Norstar, Bliss** – Keep exploring what works for your unique dynamic. That's what it's all about.
Thanks for reading, everyone. Whether you're newlyweds or forty years in, keep learning and growing together.
Love love love this! It makes me kinda mad that this isn't taught to a lot of Christian newlyweds before they get married. I sure knew nothing about such acts, even as a teen. Marriages would have a lot fewer problems if healthy desire was encouraged instead of repressed.