My Desire Will Be for You

Don’t you know that it is written in the first book of the Bible that my desire will be for you. It’s not a curse; women’s punishment is pain in child-bearing. My blessing is that a woman’s desire for her husband is strong. It’s necessary to the cause of multiplying God’s people in the world. That’s the way I’ve always read this verse.

I’m meditating on these scriptures while lying next to you, my sleeping husband, hoping for you to awaken.

My breasts ache for you. My tummy feels empty. I’ve grown so cold waiting for you with only thoughts of you to warm me up. Only my cheeks flush. I bite my lip, then my sex warms, my body involuntarily preparing itself for you. My stomach contracts sharply, a small shudder, my body playing tricks on me as my thoughts overpower it, making me feel things—all kinds of things—the same way I would if you approached me. There’s a touch of nervousness and anticipation I feel at your touch, waiting for you to dominate me. A small spasm in my tummy travels all the way down, contracting the walls of my vagina and tightening my entrance. I can’t wait for you.

I debate whether to try to stir you or let you rest. Maybe I should bother myself until I cum, to prepare myself for you, to sensitize and moisten my body more fully in the hopes that you’ll awaken to take me soon. Or should I try to shake off these feelings, engage my self-discipline, and sleep? But it’s hard, really hard, to sleep when I am insatiable like this.

Oh, husband, won’t you put me to sleep? I just want you to rock me, just a little. Ease this loneliness inside me. I’m so ready for you now. I don’t want to waste the gift of my willing body. When I have the most craving for you, I want to give myself to you the most because I know you can feel it. I know you can tell the difference in my desire, in the reactions of my body, and the sounds you hear me make. And I want to give it all to you.

I’ll try to hold this in until we have some time to be united to each other, some unpressured time when you are well-rested. Those are always the best times. Though, as I get up to settle down, I let out a little moan of regret at this missed opportunity. Secretly, I hope you’ll hear me, wake, and come and quell this aching desire.

Take it all out of me. It’s for you.