Becoming Adventurous
Hi all. Been around for a while, but first post here. We’ll see how it goes!
My wife and I have a fantastic, loving, hot sex life full of chemistry. That’s the back drop. As for adventure and trying new things? It’s a work in progress.
I thought I would post some of my hopes and fantasies for the future, but start with something I love that’s already occurring.
My wife’s ass is the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen. Large, round, shapely, wide hips but not really muscular. She’s average size, but with a large lower body. Jiggly, the way I like it—especially in doggy-style.
We’ve recently been doing doggy-style more, and I can barely contain myself. The view is absurdly good, and I’ve learned a new technique that has her moaning consistently.
When it’s my turn to cum, I pound her pretty hard and watch her ass jiggle and move as I slide in and out of her. Sometimes, I grab her hips or the side of her ass; other times, I just keep my hands away and watch. It’s all good, all the time.
My wife is a fantastic lover, but somewhat shy when it comes to expressing fantasies or even what feels nice. In turn, it’s difficult for me at times to communicate my desires! Here are few of them. My hope is that articulating them here will help me to be more bold and reveal them to her.
* I want to watch her masturbate and see how she touches herself. This sounds extremely arousing, but also educational so I can learn how to be a better lover.
* I want her to fuck me in reverse cowgirl/clapper-style. Her ass is so hot (and she knows it ;)). The idea of seeing her ass clap against itself and against me, while she is doing the work is ridiculously hot.
* I want to spend an entire hour pleasing her in a myriad of ways, without me getting to cum. She should feel like it’s all about her, and then this will edge me for perhaps later in the day.
* I want her to spend at least half an hour rubbing me, sucking me, and eventually let me finish either in her mouth or all over her as she pumps me.
* I want to make her cum and fuck in our favorite positions, and then when it’s time for me to cum, for her to squeeze her tits together and ask me to cum all over them.
Pretty ho-hum for many of you, I know, but this is where we are at! I’m glad I found this place. Peace.
Hey spicylove,
I think communication is key.
If you two want to grow in your sexual relationship you need to be vocal about what you like and what you don't.
It's a process and it can be scary sometimes. But somebody has to be bold and just open up about it. If your wife loves you and you trust one another, she will listen gladly. But also be open for her to say no to some of your fantasies.
If she doesn't know about MarriageHeat, I would encourage you to show her this site and your story.
I showed my wife MH a few months ago, and it was really great for both of us.
I think everyone here can relate to your story, and I think we can all agree that talking about ones desires is key to know what your partner needs and wants in the bedroom, or outside 😉
Be blessed and happy humping!
I agree with everything you said, LHC. Very good advice! I will add that MH is not for everyone. My wife only likes MH in small doses.
I love that you’re so crazy about your wife’s ass. I hope that you can find a way to share these desires with her.
I might start with #3 on your list (pleasing her). That is always a winner with my wife — and it almost always leads to more…
Hey Spicy 🌶️ Love 💕…
I can relate to your situation. I have a couple of pieces of advice:
First of all 🐝 patient! My wife of 30 years has gradually come around to being much more sexually adventurous. For example, one and half years ago SHE was the one who instigated outdoor sex.
I’ve suggested things without ever demanding them, and she has allowed it or eventually instigated it—then she has enjoyed it. But she has to be in the right super-horny mood. And if she does something new, I have learned to not expect it every time we make love.
So one of the things I’ve done over the last few years is, occasionally, I will write up a role-play story & we will act it out. Somehow, role-plays set her off! Some of our best and most intense lovemaking has come while doing a sexy role-play! So maybe you can try that.
The other thing is that you need to be happy with how each sexual encounter with your wife goes. I actually silently pray that we both will be satisfied and happy with each lovemaking session. The Sheryl Crow song “Soak Up The Sun” says, “It’s not having what you want. It’s wanting what you got.”
That being said, gently suggesting new things—maybe one each sex session—might just surprise you. Maybe your wife will be willing to give it a try. If she does not, then work on being happy anyway.
Afterall, you DID say: “My wife and I have a fantastic, loving, hot sex life full of chemistry.” Not every married couple has that.
My guess is that, over time, your wife will feel your love and patience and become more willing to try new things. But in the meantime, & if her willingness is slow to come, still revel in the sexual pleasure and joy that you already have with your beautiful & sexy wife!
I don’t think 🤔 your list is tame at all! WE have done those things over the years, and when my wife is in one of her ultra-erotic moods, we’ll do them again. Some erotic things have gotten incorporated into our regular lovemaking sessions, like “tip on nip” where I rub my glans on my Melody’s nipple as I pump my rod. Or watching each other masturbate. And using vibrators & other sex toys.
BTW, we went to a marriage/sex therapist ten years ago to resolve a sexual conflict. I wanted more oral sex and more frequent sex. The therapy helped us make a sex schedule and a deal where my wife gives me fellatio on holidays & special occasions. So communication and flexibility are important.
I gotta add that not every sex act that you read about on MarriageHeat is for every married couple. For example, I don’t begrudge couples who do anal sex; however, that is something that we don’t do. I’ve considered it, but it is permanently off our sex menu, says Melody. And although I am curious, I can live without it just fine. There are so many other sexual things that we DO do… so I am perfectly happy with what we have. And I have no doubt that we’ll keep discoverng new ways to please each other!
This is not ho,hum at all – it’s very hot and sweet!
Keep working on it, and some sexy night have her read this story while you are eating her pussy! You may just get a few of your wishes!
Welcome to the MH 'writers and readers' club! It is really great how you are so interested in growing your sex lives! As others have said, I think the unselfishness is the key. Wanting and offering to pleasure/serve your wife without the usual 'obligatory' or 'expected' reciprocation can go a long way toward a more willing partner. It took me years to develop that specific attitude of 'no strings attached' physical servitude–giving back rubs for example–without really desiring any 'payback'. Knowing she doesn't HAVE to reciprocate makes my wife many times much more receptive to doing so, not on every night or time, but much more frequently than earlier in our marriage when maybe I 'expected' it. In fact, I enjoy the build up and foreplay so much, there are many times when I would be totally content to be allowed to tease my wife endlessly to her orgasm even if I couldn't enjoy the same result on that particular day or night.
The other great thing is how you have found one particular area (her ass) that you can really concentrate on for your mutual pleasure. Most of us are not the physical specimens that we would like to be, and women in particular are probably more subject to (false) lower self esteem in these regards (not being sexist, I just think that's one of the differences between the sexes- and maybe it's Satan trying to drive a wedge between couples with self doubt.) But most spouses could probably find one area on the other that excites them and really use it to their advantage (mutually) to keep the other feeling good about themselves, and desired. For you, it's obviously her rear end, and the pleasures of doggy style. Now, I can find many areas of my wife's body that are exciting, but as my writing shows, it's her chest that one would say I am fixated on (and she knows it and fully uses it to OUR advantage).
I hope you get to explore many options you have planned with your wife—The trust and desire for intimate sexual exploration is many times ignored by conservative, christian couples (for no good reason). God gave us each other, and each others' bodies, for the purpose of not only having offspring, but to fully enjoy and submit to each other freely in mutual desire and 'closeness'.
Fully agree with advice given related to communication. You are starting from a great place of already having a very satisfying love life. Take the lead in communicating in a very loving way. We too use writing as a way to express desires and then make them happen. If you take the lead in communication, don’t get frustrated if you find yourself leading. She will likely appreciate it very much and hopefully slowly get more comfortable herself.
I would share this with your wife if I knew her. Better yet, you could leave it someplace she would easily find it.
A shy woman may prefer such an indirect approach of communicating things that could easily make her blush.
Ps: You're lucky to have a shy wife. Be patient and gentle with her about your desires and when she gets comfy with you, you won't believe your luck.