The Science of Sex
The Science of Sex
It has long puzzled me about the strong physical attraction Tom and I feel for each other, even at our advanced ages (70’s). I honestly sometimes still feel like a teenager around him. The butterflies are still there, particularly right before he goes down on me. There is something thrilling about anticipating receiving oral sex that literally can make me tremble.
I’ve always assumed that most of this attraction is mental, emotional, and spiritual, because we love each other in an active way. But there must be an aspect to it that is rooted in science: chemistry and biology.
I wanted to understand this better, so I decided the other day to simply ask my favorite “AI” site an unusual and somewhat provocative question: “Why does my husband enjoy going down on me? And why do I find this so exciting?” Just to see what it would say.
I asked this because, honestly, it seems like Tom can’t get enough of my pussy, my fragrance and how I taste. I think he would “eat me out” for an hour if I wanted him to. (That’s what we call it – “eating out.” I wish I had a cuter or more lyrical phrase for it. “Cunnilingus” isn’t very onomatopoeic.)
Anyway, here is what AI said:
“Anne, there are several reasons for your husband’s strong interest in going down on you, spanning psychological, relational, and physical dimensions. Here are the primary reasons, according to the research.
- He gets pleasure from your response. Many men find their partner’s arousal and pleasure genuinely exciting — the sounds, physical reactions, and emotional intimacy amplify their own experience.
- Sense of skill and agency: Cunnilingus is a form of lovemaking where attentiveness and technique matter enormously, which can be satisfying in itself — knowing you’re good at something your partner enjoys.
- Intimacy and closeness: The act requires trust and vulnerability from the receiving partner, which many men find emotionally meaningful and connecting.
- Pure erotic appeal: Taste, scent, and physical closeness are inherently sensory and arousing for many men — the intimacy of the act is part of its appeal.
- Desire to give pleasure: For men who are genuinely “other-focused” in their sexuality, a partner’s orgasm can be experienced as deeply satisfying — sometimes more so than their own.
- Power and control dynamics: Some men enjoy the focused, deliberate nature of the act — being the one directing the experience, reading their partner’s responses, and adjusting accordingly.
- Reciprocity and relational equity: In relationships where oral sex is typically mutual, there’s often a straightforward pleasure in reciprocating something their partner does for them.
In summary, the reasons vary considerably by individual — some men love it, some are indifferent, some don’t enjoy it at all. But for those who do, it’s typically a combination of the above reasons rather than any single factor.“
Thanks AI! I then asked about the chemical and biological aspects of what is going on when he “goes downtown.” Here’s what it said:
Olfactory and taste stimuli:
Female genital secretions contain pheromone-like compounds — including volatile fatty acids and steroids — that activate arousal responses. Although human pheromone science is still debated, research shows that the scent and taste of a woman’s sex triggers the male limbic system, the brain’s emotional and arousal center, directly tied to sexual response.
Dopamine reward circuits:
Giving a partner pleasure activates the brain’s reward system. Anticipation, arousal, and the partner’s response all trigger dopamine release — the same neurotransmitter involved in any rewarding or pleasurable behavior. The unpredictability of exactly when and how a partner responds can actually intensify dopamine release, similar to variable reward mechanisms.
Oxytocin production:
Physical intimacy — skin contact, warmth, closeness — stimulates oxytocin release in both partners. This promotes bonding, trust, and feelings of emotional connection, reinforcing the behavior positively, beyond pure physical pleasure.
Testosterone and arousal:
Visual and tactile stimulation during the act elevates testosterone levels in both partners, driving arousal. The close physical proximity and sensory richness of the act are potent arousal triggers.
Mirroring neuron activity:
There is evidence that observing and participating in a partner’s sexual pleasure activates related neural circuits in the observer — essentially a neurological form of empathy that allows a man to feel his partner’s arousal, which in turn feeds back into his own.
Endorphins:
The physical engagement itself, along with emotional intensity, promotes endorphin release, contributing to the pleasurable, sometimes euphoric quality of the experience.
So it’s genuinely a rich neurochemical event — it’s not just psychology.“
Not only are we closer after Tom brings me to orgasm with his mouth, but we both feel better, healthier, more energetic. So I asked AI what’s going on with this? What are the documented health effects? Here is what AI said:
“Yes, your experiential observations have support in the medical research.
For the giver –
Mood elevation — the oxytocin and dopamine released during intimate activity generally reduce cortisol (stress hormone) levels, with measurable effects on anxiety and mood.
Immune function — some research suggests regular sexual activity, including intimate contact, correlates with higher immunoglobulin A (IgA) levels, a front-line immune antibody.
Cardiovascular — sustained arousal elevates heart rate moderately, offering mild aerobic benefit, and regular sexual activity correlates with lower blood pressure over time.
Seminal plasma exposure (relevant to the receiver) has been studied in connection with mood — it contains serotonin, oxytocin, and prostaglandins that are absorbed mucosally, though this research remains somewhat contested.
For the receiver –
More robust research exists here. Orgasm triggers a cascade of oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine with well-documented effects: pain relief (endorphins can raise pain thresholds substantially), stress reduction, improved sleep, and mood stabilization.
Regular orgasm in women correlates with reduced menstrual cramping, lower rates of depression, and better pelvic floor health over time.
Relational health –
Perhaps the strongest effect. Couples who maintain active, mutually satisfying sexual lives show lower rates of depression, stronger relationship stability, and better immune profiles than sexually inactive couples — and relationship quality itself is one of the strongest predictors of long-term physical well-being.”
While I knew most of this, it helps to see it in writing and pause and consider what God has created here: a symbiotic relationship between us that literally feeds off itself, emotionally, physically, and biologically.
This is something I feel every time we are together, but particularly when I’m naked and on my back and Tom has his hands on my hips, his face buried in my pussy, inhaling and tasting me, feeling my sensations, hearing me moan, seeing how I am feeling and how much I love and crave what he is doing to me.
There are some wonderful lines from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet that express this thought far better than I can:
“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”
I like to think of my sexual essence as my “bounty.” The more I give to Tom, the more I have.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this was indeed infinite? Alas, we are a bit older than the besotted teenagers, and the time may come when this feeling is more a memory than a here-and-now thing, but that idea of sexual attraction feeding on itself is very real to me.
Sorry this isn’t very sexy. Hope MH will publish it anyway.
God bless you all!
Anne
I can relate. I can definitely eat for an hour, or whenever she taps out. I just enjoy giving pleasure and seeing and hearing the fruits of my labor by watching and hearing her cum violently.
Yes we are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!
This is interesting. It puts into words the things I have often thought. I can definitely relate to much of it. I love the taste and smell, the delight of bringing her to orgasm, and having her under the power of my tongue.
It’s also very intimate; having my mouth in her most secret parts; oral sex is just very beautiful in every respect.
I do wonder/wish though for such a comprehensive analysis of fellatio.
I love go down on my wife of 49 years. I definitely get intoxicated between them legs. I love when she bucks like a Bronco followed by a flood. Shaved bare is my favorite.
Thanks NW64 for the research and sharing.
Song of songs 5:1
NaughtyWife64,
Don't apologize!! Your story was VERY sexy!
I did not realize that you and your husband are in your seventies. Wow! That gives me hope (I'm 68 and have been divorced for six years.)
Detailed, first-person "reports" by the wife are very arousing to me. For example, when you described "his face buried in my pussy", I thought that I would almost cum — even though my dick is only semi-hard at the moment, and I'm not even touching it. My response was not merely the "act itself", but also your level of total honesty. (Both of my former wives were victims of what I can call only "toxic purity" — for lack of a better term. Biblical purity is a good thing. But, many people have over-interpreted the Bible to a point of insanity.) As a result of that condition, both of my former wives found it difficult to express their pleasure. They (especially the first wife) expected me to "just know" — often while she would lay there silently. It was painfully frustrating, and it made me feel rejected.
By comparison, I enjoyed sex so much that I "couldn't be quiet" about it. An especially enjoyable session would find me involuntarily saying, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Another common reaction for me was loud laughter. Both of them thought that was "weird". It was as if they found complements to be a turn-off. (Remember those old TV ads that mentioned the "vicious cycle"?)
For me, the BEST wife would be one that is comfortable in "narrating" her sexual experience. Why? It's fairly simple, and yet also deeply Freudian. In our younger years, we men get told "no" a lot. So, in the ideal marriage (defined by free and open communication), I need to be told "yes" a lot — to counteract the rejection of youth. I don't see why such a thing is so difficult, and yet both of them would "withhold" their words when I needed them most.
Sorry, I kinda digressed into the "dark world" of disappointment. But, your original topic was about the "science" of sex, and psychology is a science.
Specifically to your questions about oral sex, the absolute best thing that a wife could say to me during the act would we, "Oh, YES — fuck my pussy with your tongue!" (Just typing that got my dick hard.) Your thoughts?
Thank you! Love your comments!
Lord willing, my wife and I will soon be 80. Both of us still love for her to serve my favorite "dessert". Sending that wonderful feeling of orgasm thru her body is extremely satisfying and fulfilling for both of us. My body no longer lets me have my cream filled "dessert", but I can still "jerk-off" for a cream covered "dessert".
Hi all, CP here and happiest I’ve been in months, thanks to day three of the most frequent and amazing sex with my stud of 25 years now, Jim.
I would have to define his “eating out” style as #6 on the chart above, because when it cums to eating my creamy pussy he is absolutely in control and obsessed with chowing down on me for a minimum of two powerful orgasms – which is his measuring stick for successful pussy eating efforts.
I should also again mention that MH often cums into play as part of Jim’s control over my creampie is having me read a preselected story or two that he knows I will cream (or squirt) over while his tongue and fingers (usually three) expertly rock my world!
I would also add that I am also #6 in that once he is reading to me while I dominate his cock, balls, and tight ass, I am totally in control of his orgasms – and that includes along with my 5-star rated cocksucking, taunting edging and assplay at exactly the right time!
Well, gotta go – this Labor Day weekend we are putting in the labor of love needed for multiple climaxes and my nipples are so hard and stretched out that putting on my satin tank tops sends electric shock waves from my nips to my clit!
Yeah, end result is a very creamypussy!
You never fail to inspire me CP! You go girl!
As you stated about your findings were evident to you already much the same as they were to me.
Although in our personal conversations we would not have gotten as scientifically involved as your explanation we do probe one another through conversation about our sex life and what we enjoy out of it.
For instance we know that both of us if we're laying on our belly and performing oral sex on the other will have a tendency to grind our pelvises into the mattress seeking to satiate our own arousal.
Personally, for me I love having my hands restrained and sometimes my feet restraint we do have an under mattress four point restraint system that we will use from time to time. Quite often accompanied by a blindfold.
I've said here before about going down on him that I love the prequel to the actual climax. I find accomplishments and personal excitement and getting him from his soft flaccid state to a rigid length. Enjoying every step along the way including the beginning of the pre-ejaculate lubricant.
He's much the same he says he can sense by the way I react and by the fact that my nipples have grown so stiff how close I am but more than that it's what we are saying to each other that stimulates us even more.
Quite often one or the other of us will out of the blue decide that we wanted to bring the other to climax and we'll perform oral sex without any expectation of anything more.
This could happen at any time of the day and for the most part pretty much anywhere. It's just something that we enjoy to do.
Thank you for writing this it was a lovely read and a lovely visual of you from anticipation to orgasm.
Lady L. 💋
Love your comments Lady L. Glad to know someone thinks like I do! It’s one of the nicest things about this site! For years I thought I was an oversexed tramp trapped in a middle aged mom/wife’s body! Glad to know there are others out there who place importance on giving and getting pleasure!
Such true words love.
I think women in general, (I say that because I think we all know that all women are this way) because we are wives and mothers have a protective instinct. Sometimes it's called a nesting instinct a natural desire to create a wholesome healthy safe atmosphere in our homes.
We quell our sexual desires in order to keep this atmosphere.
And I think that in general it's hard for women to embrace their own sexiness. Something our husbands would love us to do.
Sometimes it takes weathering life, for us to embrace sex and the joy of it. Whether it be a specific type of sex with our husbands or whether it be masturbation on our own being able to pilot our own ship into whatever fantasy we desire.
And we women who are older fine comfort and companionship in one another when we discover that we are not alone in what we've learned about our own desires.
I for one love reading your stories as well as the other women on here number one because I find enjoyment in knowing other believing women like myself have this side. And number two I find the sexuality of a woman and arousing thing to behold. Once we grasp ahold of all that we have been given as women.
The variety of ways that we can bring pleasure to our husbands and the ways that we can find pleasure are so varied and explored and that we have a well that we can draw from from which we can draw orgasm after orgasm after orgasm and still want more.
Lady L. 💋
Couldn't agree more with what you told Tutchh … especially your second point 😉
And by the way, I am NOW grasping ahold of what God has given me, since Jim is on the road again! 😉
♥️