That’s How We Became a New Family

I had been previously married for 12 years.  My children and I were deeply hurt by their father’s verbal and emotional abuse. So in looking for a new partner, I was trying to be very careful.  I wanted a man who did not have an anger problem and who cared deeply for children since I had 4.  I never thought I would find anyone who would actually be willing to marry someone with four children so I was mostly searching for a friend.  I was definitely lonely.  It was by pure chance that I found the man who would soon be my husband…

It had been a long day and the kids were nearly an hour late getting into bed…AGAIN!  I was so tired, I almost went straight to bed, but for some reason I decided to check my email…I was signed up with a singles club and wanted to see if I had any new prospects.  At first, it was the same old junk mail…the kind you would rather they just ban on the internet, but then an interesting prospect…HMMM  The guy said he often chats in a particular chat room, so I decided to see if he was there.  He was not.  I started reading profiles.  Almost every one of them were either married, or had some unhealthy ideas about relationships expressed in their personal section.  Just as I was about to turn the whole thing off, I noticed one particular guy who said he had 2 children living with him…divorced…It said he believed that honesty was important to any relationship.

We had similar interests so I decided to at least say hello.  Well, that hello ended up being a conversation that lasted until nearly 3 AM.  We talked about everything from what went wrong in our past relationships to our religious beliefs.  Everything seemed to click.  There was only one factor that was of little concern.  He was 8 hours away.  Then, when he found out where I lived, he was shocked because his job was transferring him within 70 miles of me the following week.  It was perfect.  I had a child care in my home and he needed a babysitter.  He had been having trouble finding someone who would be willing to watch his children during the long hours that he had to work.  I had been having trouble finding new children to enroll.  This was great for us both.  He was coming to get everything set up (a house, school for the kids, etc.) in just a few days.  He was leaving the kids with their older sister who was 19 until he could get things worked out.

We talked every day for the next few days and then it was time for him to make the trip.  I was so nervous.  I had never felt an attraction to anyone without meeting them face to face, but somehow I knew that I cared for him.  When we met (October 3, 2002), it was no problem talking.  Normally, I am so shy with guys, but not this time.  There were so many things that we enjoyed together.  All my life I had heard of that “spark” in a relationship, but I had never felt it before.  Within one day, I knew I loved him and within a week, we both knew we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives.

I know, some people think that is crazy, but you have to understand that we really talked a lot during that time…and not just useless conversation. We talked about our morals, beliefs, what we wanted for our kids, the things we would like to do together, what we believed would make a healthy relationship between us and our children along with much more.

The following week, he brought the kids to me.  They were so precious.  It didn’t take long until I loved them as my own…even before the wedding.  Their own mom never really had a whole lot to do with them so I had a big void to fill.  I didn’t want to replace their mom, just give them the love that they needed to feel like they were important to someone.

Everything was going great.  I knew that this was going to work out.  Now I forgot to mention that he was in the National Guard, but he had to be gone one weekend a month and of course if war broke out, he may be called.  This bothered me because I knew of the current status of this country.  Then came the bombshell…Sadam Hussein.  President Bush was considering declaring war on Iraq.  I got a text message on my cell phone that afternoon when my sweetheart was on the drive back from work.

It said…IMPORTANT…I thought he had been called in.  I was afraid to open it….BUT to my surprise….it said…”Will You Marry Me?  Check Yes or No” I nearly fainted.  I was so happy.  That was January 8, 2003.  We planned the wedding for February 14, 2003, but ended up eloping on January because of financial reasons.

Since then, everything has been so wonderful.  We communicate so well.  I know he truly loves me.  This relationship is like none I have ever heard of.  We do everything together…go to church, go to movies, take all the kids on bike rides and go to the park with them.  We show each other how much we love each other in many ways and he doesn’t expect me to do all the work.  He is very supportive and I try to be supportive of him.

God is at the head of our house and I believe that we will last until death or until the rapture whichever comes first.  It would be nice if everyone had the type of relationship we have.  It is the greatest feeling in the world to be loved…first by God and then by someone who loves God as much as you do.