Lap Dance Instructional for Wife Heat

Ladies! Here is a revised article adapted from two others that will give you some pointers on exotic dancing for your husband–specifically, lap dancing. Hope you both enjoy a wonderful time!

His stunning Shulammite bride danced for Solomon in the Canticles, and if you read chapters 4, 6 and 7, you will discover that it made them both CRAZY for each other! She may have been wearing only her veil (4.1,3). Unless she was nude, whatever else she was wearing was very sheer, as he could see and admire her entire body as she danced sensually before him. (4.5-7; 6.4-13; 7.1-13)

What is it about watching a woman sway to sensual music while she takes off her clothes and runs her hands over her bady that turns a man on? And more specifically, what is it about lap dance that drives men WILD?

Wives, let’s not sit and ponder that mystery… just get to it!

When you take charge you’re putting Hubby in a submissive position to you. You have the control and the power! This can be very arousing for your man. So don’t rush. Enjoy teasing him until he can’t stand it any more.

Make him hold out for you (which is a good practice for life). Pamper him, tending to him from head to toe and showing him what he could have if he is willing to be a ‘good boy.’

Men love it when women take the initiative from time to time. Any sexual surprise you can spring on him is the thing fantasies are made of.

Explain the ground rules at the beginning. The rules are, Hands Off! Only you
get to do the touching – any touching by him will mean game over and end of his lap dance. And stick to the ground rules (as long as humanly possible). Remember, you are in control and calling the shots – making him submissive. (It is very unlikely he will consider this a violation of Ephesians 5.24!)

Don’t worry about looking sexy. The biggest tip you need to know is — if you think sexy, you feel sexy … and if you feel sexy, you LOOK SEXY. It is a universal law that can’t be broken. The Shulammite didn’t feel sexy, either–she was self-conscious about her tanned skin (1.6) and inhibited by thinking she was way out of her league being married to the king. But at the end of the dance, she said “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.” (7.10) Her discovery of her own sexuality and his response to her had finally helped her to understand that he was both ravished by her beauty and devoted to her as his lover and bride.

Sit him down… start about 6 feet in front of him swaying your hips SLOWLY
with the music. You’re not really dancing – more “slinking.”

To begin, dance toward him and when right in front of him, place one foot on
the floor between his feet and the other on the arm of the chair – kind of
like a stretching position.

Get in his space.

…Your assets by pushing out your bosom and your derriere. One of the ‘acceptance’ positions that triggers sexual arousal in him is seeing your  arched back and your bottom sticking out.

Eye contact is extremely important! You are really seducing him with your eyes. Stare into his eyes and make him want you as he looks into your very soul.

Look at him with the sexiest thoughts in your mind that you can think (he is your husband, after all, and you are free to lust after him to your heart’s desire!) – then look down at your body – then look back at him.

Look down and rub yourself over the top of your clothing – husbands love to see their wives enjoying their own bodies. Run your hands slowly over your tush, stomach and breasts. Make it look like it feels great, and do it until it does! Like Solomon’s bride, you will also get very aroused as the time passes.

Hold out from the ‘nether regions’ for the time being.

One dancer advises to “Slowly remove your clothes in this order: blouse, skirt, bra, panties, stockings. (Do NOT wear panty-hose! Lace-topped thigh-highs, with or without a lacy garter belt, are very sensual). Occasionally caress yourself, especially your breasts, cupping them in your palms and lifting them as if offering them to him as precious gifts. Circle your nipples with your index fingers to make them erect. From time to time make eye contact with your man and remember – SMILE occasionally.”
You will turn him on even more if you are enjoying yourself and turning YOURSELF on.

Get close to your husband for a bit. Let him smell the scent of your arousal, your perfume etc…

First, frontward with your hands on the arms of the chair so you can lean in, letting your nipples (they should be pretty hard by now!) just brush against him. Second, sticking your bum towards his lap – even with your panties still on – grind into him slightly. If he has an erection (if he doesn’t by now, you may want to take his pulse!) try to straddle it and press your body against it in a teasing way.

After driving him crazy when you are in his space – with him unable to touch you (he should be pretty wild by now) – back away and dance slowly so he can see what he may get if he is a “good boy.”

Take a deep breath and when you are close to his ear let out small sigh – kind of a small erotic moan – like the kind when you are having sex. You will be surprised at his response to this. A man gets a lot of satisfaction and pleasure from knowing his wife is aroused and receiving pleasure.

YOur biggest sex organ is your mind. Your second is your mouth. You may feel silly at first – but trust me – when you see his reaction – you’ll be sold. You don’t have to use foul language to turn you both on, though using words that are considered naughty in public can be used between you in a harmless way). Lower your voice an octave, and talk slower than you normally would
(just above a whisper -like you are telling a secret), then tell him just what you want to do to him. But don’t tell him you want to do it if you aren’t prepared to follow through on your promises!

Only perform when you are in the mood. You will never look sexy if you are feeling shy, embarrassed or pressurized.

Select the music carefully – slow and sensual is best. Practice to the same music so that you can learn to move to the rhythm.

Plan the set up of the room and seating for your husband. Set the lights low. If you are performing your first lap dance or feeling in anyway shy or unattractive keep the lighting very dim.  This will help to provide a cover up for you until your confidence grows. Remember that every naked woman looks better in candlelight, and flickering flames add an aura of mystery and sensuality to your performance. Try lighting the room with just two or three fragrant candles. If you have a perfect body and want to flaunt it, turn the lights up and give him an eyeful! Make sure the room is warm – if you feel cold it will ruin your performance.

Choose an outfit that your husband particularly likes – a dress with buttons or a skirt and blouse work better than pants. Underneath have on your sexiest bra and g-string. Wear thigh-high stockings and heels. Be colorful and sensual. Wear something you would not wear outside your house, or better yet, wear something you will only wear for lap dancing. Splash on something special for your big performance.

Before you start make sure your hubby knows what he can and cannot do. Absolutely forbid him from touching you. This will give you a sexy, powerful feeling, and seeing your nearly nude–and eventually fully nude–body but not being able to put his hands on it will make him crazy with desire!

Even before your dance is over, you will both be extremely aroused and ready to make love. To get the best effect, though, finish your dance -— keep going until you are nude or as uncovered as you want to be. Remember, you are in the driver’s seat! Once you’re ready, enjoy a time of no-holds-barred lovemaking.

You will want to do this again very soon!

4.39 avg. rating (87% score) - 18 votes
10 replies
    • Harper Shelby Thornton
      Harper Shelby Thornton says:

      Try "Shine" by Frida. I've danced for my husband quite a few times to that song. It's very dance-able and sexy if you make it 🙂

      Or if you want slow, the song "Move Closer" by Phyllis Nelson or Marilyn Martin is very sensual (In my humble opinion, the Marilyn Martin one is better). Bless

  1. Nycteris
    Nycteris says:

    Wow, I was going to write this very thing, and I find it has already been written.
    For over a decade I have been practicing sensual dancing to music and perfecting my moves for this.

    I have a playlist I have been adding to as well over the years with the hottest songs that I dance to.
    To me, as an audiophile, music and sex go together like cream and sugar.
    I also desire to have sex to the tempo and the beat of the music, my hips and mouth and hands all in synchronization with the music as well as his movements, kissing and thrusts.
    I also dance in order to masturbate, it's part of self pleasuring for me…..and for him as well, to cum.

  2. naturalguy
    naturalguy says:

    Excellent tips for future wives! Nycteris, I find this comment intriguing – could you elaborate on how dance factors into your solo pleasure, and how you feel it benefits?

  3. Nycteris
    Nycteris says:

    I dance to get the rush from it and for the endorphin high. Although I like to imagine I can through my fantasies, in truth, I have very limited vaginal sensation to a massive injury I had many years ago that caused immense permanent damage to specific nerves. Sensation to the clitoris and most of the area is absent.

    Because of this, self genital masturbation does nothing for me. Therefore, I have to find other ways of "getting off". Therefore any orgasmic feeling has to be mental and spiritual for me usually, created by the stimulation of other erogenous zones which have been extra extra sensitive since the injury, such as chest, ears, stomach, hands, lips, neck, back, tongue, and watching/getting my future guy "off".

    Music adds to this, and combine that further with a meaningful bond with God's chosen man for me as well and this can collectively create a mental/emotional/spiritual orgasm. Sometimes it is possible to orgasm from just the right kiss, or stimulation of the ear a certain way as well, or the neck or tit. My imagination has also been heightened as well since then in addition to my spiritual and emotional sensitivity. It's like I have developed radar like a bat in the definition that I can sense things intuitively that many can not.

    I admit I debated for an hour chewing my thoughts and staring at the screen as to whether or not to answer your question, as it takes guts to reveal something like this. However the deciding factor was that I came to the conclusion that people who make up the masses on this site (who can orgasm when they wish with genital stimulation) would benefit from knowing about cases like mine for the sake of public awareness.

    It may be a benefit for me as well, given that I have always struggled with this and for over a decade I loathed this part of myself that was missing. Now however I embrace the strengths I have gained from this. I often wondered what man would accept this reality, and often wonder how my future husband will respond to this. However I trust God that a real Godly man would be intrigued by this and impressed, not turned off by it or think less of me. It's ironic because I have an immensely high sex drive, am athletic, dance, intelligent, deep, sassy, passionate and am eager and willing for adventure and experimentation sexually. This is also why I HAVE to have that immense spiritually and passionate tight bond with a man for this to work. Because any physical contact "alone" without that bond will do nothing for me. It has worked as a filter as well in that regard.

    Anyway, this post has turned out FAR longer than I would have preferred, haha, however unfortunately the answer to that question cannot be answered simply or easily. This is also far far more than I normally reveal about myself. I answered not only for the sake of your question, but to contribute to public awareness. Lastly, it may just be therapeutic/cathartic or healing for me too do so, as well.

    God bless you.

  4. HeSaid-SheSaid
    HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    Nycteris, I too hope you have not regretted your previous comment. The truth is you are very likely not the only person out there who has these issues, and people who are in your situation can likely benefit greatly from your advice. Thank you for sharing, and may God bless your future marital relationship.

  5. Lovinghusband
    Lovinghusband says:


    I just saw your comment – now months later – because someone else commented. I feel the desire to comment because compassion immediately well up inside me from what you shared.

    Our sovereign and loving God has even more compassion of course! The man God has for you will not be lacking any motivation towards you in light of your circumstance. You both will – because of love – make whatever adjustments are required to get you off! It will be your husband's unique joy to do so. He will become a growing expert over time. Lovingly making those adjustments will be his quest. He will be encouraged because whatever the uniqueness of your situation – he still knows that he has a horny wife with desire.

    Your openness was so touching. I can't believe I only saw it today- almost 4 months later!

    My heart yearns for you not to worry about this. If your husband has any doubts- your writings here alone will show him all he needs to know. You have a wonderful future ahead. God's rich blessings on you. The one who defeated death and sin's penalty for us – has your life securely in His hands. LH

  6. PatientPassion
    PatientPassion says:

    Nycteris, somehow I never saw your previous comment either. Like Lovinghusband, a new comment just now brought my attention to it. I find your story to be an amazing and awe-inspiring story of God's providence. He saw fit to take away much of your normal sensation and feeling, but provided you with another gift in it's place. It's powerfully intriguing how God shaped your body to develop and/or heighten new erogenous zones. It's also bewildering and a wonder how the spiritual and emotional aspects of sex flowed over to increase intuition in other areas.

    I have not experienced what you have, so I see it from a far different perspective, but I would encourage you to count this as a blessing. Doubtless, it comes with a heavy cost, but it sounds like God has enabled you to have a sexual connection with your future husband that is even more intimate than normal. It may be more difficult, but the trade-off appears to be that you can go deeper and have a totally new kind of pleasure.

    "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28, ESV)

    "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

    [Edited for length]

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