Climaxing Trouble
By: Jan Tik
Okay ya’ll as a woman, I’m having trouble reaching my climax while my man and I are being intimate. Every now and then my man will give hints about how much he’d love me so much more if I can climax during our love making. The thing is, I feel like I’m letting him down during sex because I can’t give him what he wants. Is there anything that I need to do during sex or does it just take time?
Try focusing on your clit lots of women can’t climax just through penetration
Lady Smitten to SexyAss: There are many reasons for this and I won’t pretend to be a sex therapist so without going into lots of details I’d like to mention the obvious. Sexual gratification is 90% mental: The brain secretes hormones that coincide with whether a person is fearful, anxious, physically uncomfortable, or emotionally comfortable with a feeling of well being. If you feel like you haaave tooooo. It probably won’t happen. It is a natural process that comes from being relaxed with your husband, loving, cuddling, giving and receiving so that those lustful instincts will eventually take over. Years ago Smitten and I became very anxious and upset over our troubled child. Smitten couldn’t get it up a couple times over the anxiety for our child and then he couldn’t get it up because he was so anxious whether he would be able to get it up. It became a vicious and devastating cycle that even affected me because I began to feel like I was responsible or wasn’t as attractive to him anymore. The cycle was broken when we reawakened the reasons why married couples have sex in the first place — a special bonding of sharing bodies and souls — and began relaxing, loving, and cuddling so through the natural processes of the brain secreting the right set of hormones Smitten was up and ready again. Not that this is the only reason but it may help. God bless you.
just to add to the great comments made so far I wish stress the fact that you desire it and yet not in anxiety. clitorial stimulation is essential here. try to mutually explore your clit enough with hands and tongue and etc. then of course ensure to rely on the creator of orgasm and as you wait on Him it will surely come
Try the scissors position. In this position, your husband (or you) can reach through and stimulate your clitoris while engaging in intercourse. You can also have the freedom to move and vary the angle of your pelvis slightly to have him hitting the best spots. You may find over time that you need less and less stimulation to achieve orgasm.
Just my two cents worth here…the fact that you said your husband has said he would love your more if you climaxed during intercourse concerns me. First of all, as great as a climax is, that’s not really the point. The point is to love each other and connect. The orgasm is the icing on the cake, the prize at the bottom of the box, etc. But when it becomes a focus then you can get away from the intimacy and connection and slip into a performance mentality. Which adds pressure…and it’s hard to climax under pressure. So youryour husband is, in essence, shooting himself in the foot by demanding this. You both need to relax and let it happen as it happens. Ironically, relieving the pressure to perform allows you both to relax more and then you both will enjoy whatever happens because you’re focused more on connecting with each other and not having an orgasm or having an orgasm a certain way. Also, I’ve always read that most women can only climax with direct stimulation of the clitoris. So unless one of you are rubbing it during intercourse, either with your finger, his finger, a vibrator or his cock, then nothing is going to happen. You could explain it to him this way: if you massaged his balls, it might feel enjoyable but he won’t cum from that. You need to stroke his cock to get him to cum. Your clitoris is equivalent to his cock. That might help him understand the importance of your clitoris. But nothing will happen with all that pressure and he needs to love you no matter what. That part bothered me. I may be reading it wrong, but that’s how it sounds. Again, just my two cents.
I agree with HornyHubby 100% and what he said about the clitoris is true too, most women can’t climax if their clitoris isn’t being stimulated. The clitoris also is often covered by folds of skin (kind of like a foreskin) and in some women these folds need to be pulled back in order to feel the desired effect. Riding cowgirl is a great way of getting those folds of skin to pull back and expose the clitoris better. Experiment on your own a bit (masturbate, and figure out just how much pressure you need to get off as every woman is different in what turns them on or even in how hard of stimulation their clitoris can take) Sometimes breasts/nipple stimulation or stimulation in the back door area with a finger or two while sex can help bring about orgasm. But climax is only the peak of sex, just love the sensations that come with the act of intercourse (I know I do even when I’m not climaxing). Relax, have fun, and love no matter what and stay away from the performance mentality because it will only block you further away 🙂
HornyHubby, in my humble opinion – your two cents was worth more than two cents!! God bless you brother!
I know this is very late, but maybe if you take the pressure off to have an orgasm during sex, it might just happen! Relaxing is a big one, as well