In my last post, I briefly implied that a married couple’s sexual relationship will stay for eternity. Hopefully most of you already know this, but if you disagree or never really thought about physical intimacy with your mate in Heaven and the New Earth, this post will hopefully make you learn something. I firmly and happily believe that marriage is not just a symbol/metaphor for Jesus’ relationship with the Church, but also an amazing gift from God that will continue to be given throughout eternity. “Til’ death do us part” was a man-made statement that only was implied for the life on Earth. I believe that God will NOT remove sexual intimacy from us when we get to Heaven, but instead let us continue to worship and thank God by sharing our perfect bodies with our lawful mate/spouse/eternal companion.
But before I delve into it, I should probably remind everyone that I am a Seventh-Day Adventist. If you aren’t familiar with this slightly different denomination of Christianity, we aren’t much different than baptists. The largest differences is that we observe the Sabbath on the SEVENTH day and we believe that the unrighteous don’t burn forever in Hell, yet instead just be instantly burned up by the Lake of Fire. If you need more clarification, feel free to ask me some questions in the comment section. I will be happy to resolve any confusion. I tried my hardest to prove my points in the most scriptually sound way possible, and I think that I did a pretty good job.
A few months ago I was curious about whether there will be sexual intercourse/intimacy in Heaven, so I Googled it. The first website that I found said “no, there won’t be sex in Heaven,” which made my heart sink deeply, as would anyone who has not yet married. However, the website did contain concepts that didn’t seem to be completely scripturally sound. I did not give up, so I continued searching for a better answer. The next website basically said the same thing as before, “Yes, there will be GENDER in Heaven, but Matthew 22:23-33 says that there will neither be marriage nor married intercourse in Heaven. ‘We will all be like the angels.’ That is why there are nuns, monks, eunuchs, etc… because they read that scripture and believe that sex would be removed in the end, so why tempt ourselves with our sex drive?” This was really not looking good, but I looked at the comment section below that post, and someone said some things that impressed me and lifted up my spirits about the issue. I wish that I could find the web-link, but the guy challenged the author’s points by using scripture and Literalist logic (taking more things from the Bible literally instead of reading them figuratively), such as “Then why did God bless all living things to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ in the first place, if God implied later that sexual intercourse will be removed in the end? So is there really much of a point to exercise that gift in this life?”
So I searched for articles made by other Seventh-Day Adventists and found this greatly detailed website about this controversial issue, and I was overwhelmed with relief and happiness. Here are some excerpts of the article, with my commentary in bold:
“Many Christians believe that marriage is for this world and this life only. When we enter into the new heaven and new earth, there is no marriage, for Jesus says, “In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven” (Matt 22:30). Some thought that since there is no marriage in heaven, Christians resurrect and transform into a neutral or a unisex gender; everyone lives a separate and single live in heaven forever. Is it true that we will forever live a single life without our spouse in heaven? Why then did God create male and female in the very beginning? Why did He marry them as husband and wife? Why did God also say, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen 2:18)? God decided to make Adam a helper on the sixth day of creation, which was before the fall. Moreover, why did God observe that everything that He made, including husband and wife relationship was indeed very good at the beginning? Will God abolish marriage in the new heaven and new earth? If with careful study, is it possible that marriage and family are eternal, and that everyone will accompany his/her own spouse in a loving and wonderful relationship? Could the husband and wife relationship and the family live that which God established in the Garden of Eden once again restored in the new heaven and new earth? After all, if it is true, can this be wonderful good news to every faithful believer?”
[Some questions were popping up in my head as well, like “Satan is jealous of our gift of intimacy, so what would be one of the best ways to keep unbelievers to accept Christ? He would probably make us Christians misunderstand Scripture about sex in the afterlife, so when the unbelievers (who are all about the hotties) hear from us that one of the top 3 greatest gifts of all time that God has given us since Creation (BEFORE the Fall, if I may add) will be taken away when we get to Heaven, they would probably say ‘OH HELL NO, TO THE NO NOOOOOO NOOO. Screw your religion!’ This would make it a challenge for young believers as well because if a 19-year-old with a big, selfless heart (this includes me, if you missed that) and a very high drive to marry that special someone and have with that spouse the hottest, most erotic, most passionate, most intimate relationship of all time; and later hears that God would remove the gift of sexual intimacy when we get to Heaven, how bad would that 19-year-old want God to wait a little longer until He appears in the clouds so that he/she can find a mate to love and to make them feel loved and pursued while he/she still can? I almost said that prayer myself until I realized that that would be a really effective weapon for Satan to use!” So something was really off about that scripture (Matthew 22:30), but that will be discussed later.]
“In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve, made them husband and wife, and blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it’ (Gen 1:28). Ellen G. White said: ‘After the creation of Adam every living creature was brought before him to receive its name; he saw that to each had been given a companion, but among them, ‘there was not found a help mate for him.’ Among all the creatures that God had made on the earth, there was not one equal to man. And God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him.’ Man was not made to dwell in solitude; he was to be a social being. Without companionship the beautiful scenes and delightful employments of Eden would have failed to yield perfect happiness. Even communion with angels could not have satisfied his desire for sympathy and companionship. There was none of the same nature to love and to be loved.
If Adam and Eve were faithful to God, they would have been husband and wife forever, producing children as other unnumbered not fallen worlds. When those children became adults, they would marry as husband and wife and continue to populate the earth, according to God‘s original plan for the creation. This earth would have been fully developed with wonderfulness, happiness, beauty and perfection without sin and sickness as other unfallen worlds in the universe. As Ellen White said, ‘Limited to the earth, he (Satan) will not have access to other worlds to tempt and annoy those who have never fallen.’ Since the people of the unfallen worlds are faithful to God, no sin enters into those worlds to taint any relationships between a husband and his wife. So, relationships are wonderfully perfect forever. Again, Ellen White said, ‘Christ came in human form to show the inhabitants of the unfallen worlds and of the fallen world that ample provision has been made to enable human beings to live in loyalty to their Creator.’
The relationship of Adam and Even as husband and wife was continuous even after the fall. They still love each other and need each other for reproduction. Other living creatures are growing and producing offspring according to the reproduction principle of God. Ellen G. White said: ‘God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. ‘Marriage is honorable’ (Heb 13:4); it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.’
Sin entered the earth when Adam sinned; and the curse and suffering of human beings followed. However, sin did not corrupt the physical laws and principles that govern the universe. For example, the earth, the sun, the moon and the stars are still revolving in their invisible tracts since the beginning of time (see 2 Pet 3:3-7). Similarly, the principle of marriage is forever, unchanged by sin. Humans are God’s creatures. Man and woman know how to be intimate with each other, before and after the fall, as designed by God. Clifford and Joyce Penner in their book, The Gift of Sex: A Christian Guide to Sexual Fulfillment, says, ‘We are sexual beings by creation. Sexuality is part of God’s plan of creation. Our maleness and femaleness, our sexuality, is not something added on, or part of our sinful natures; it is part of the original perfect creation of mankind.’ As the Song of Solomon says, ‘Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth–for your love is better than wine . . . we will be glad and rejoice in you. We will remember your love more than wine’ (Song 1:2, 4). The attraction and affection of husband and wife are also creations by God, and are wonderful and precious gifts from God. He has designed husband and wife abilities to love and to be loved. The Bible says, ‘Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised” (Song 8:7).’”
[These are excellent points! Man and woman, along with marriage and physical expression of love, was created by God in the beginning (BEFORE the Fall), and when He created those things on the 6th day He said to Himself, “This is VERY good!” Marriage and sexual intercourse was something that was pure, honorable, beautiful, healthy, perfect, and even glorified God’s name (yes, sex is a form of worship. PLEASE understand that)! So why in the HELL would God say to Himself (I’m only generalizing the statement that my earthly mind thinks that God would say, so I’m not trying to disrespect Him at all when I say this), “Yeah, about that thing that I let those husbands and wives do, them showing their love for each other, their hunger to give the other immense pleasure, and the gratitude for Me giving them this gift by rubbing their bodies against each other and feel these great feelings of ecstasy and release of hormones that make them feel more emotionally bonded with one another; That’s a little dirty now, so that won’t be happening anymore.” I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that. GOD NEVER CHANGES, EVER! Why would God remove a form of worship to His name when we’re all in Heaven, especially when it was invented by God Himself in its purest and most perfect form?! I find it very contradictory to God’s character, and it would most definitely feel even more contradictory to His character if I didn’t have a limited, earthly mind. Even the things in the Garden of Eden (which is basically a pretty good Earthly version of Heaven itself) and the friendly relationships with God and His angels would not be perfectly satisfying to Adam without an earthly companion/mate! I’m not saying that God’s relationship with Adam was never enough by itself, but God made life even MORE enjoyable by giving him a woman to love. Below is an analysis of Matthew 22:23-33.]
“Jesus said, ‘For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven’ (Matt 22:30). Many believe that since there is neither marriage nor given in marriage in heaven, there will not be any husband and wife relationship in heaven. Probably, we have misunderstood this biblical text. Initially, the disciples always misunderstand the word of Christ. Take for instance when Jesus said to the disciples, ‘Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees.’ The disciples misunderstood it and as it is because they have taken no bread (Matt 16:6-7). In another instance, Jesus told Peter, ‘If I will that he (John) remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.’ The disciples misunderstood that John would not die before Christ returns (John 21:22-23).
Other examples come to mind about how the masses misunderstood Jesus. When Jesus said, ‘Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up,’ the Jews thought Christ was talking about the temple building; actually, he was speaking of the temple of his body (John 2:19-21). During Pilate’s judgment, Christ acknowledged that He was the Christ, the Son of God, but they said that He had spoken blasphemy (Matt 26:63-65). On the cross, Jesus cried for God, but they thought that He was calling for Elijah.
Throughout all the ages people by their sight had misunderstood that the earth is flat and the Sun moves around the Earth. Actually God created the Earth as a round ball and it moves around the Sun. Likewise, Matthew 22:30 have been widely misunderstood. The Sadducees do not believe in resurrection, and they made a story to test Jesus, saying, ‘Whose wife among the seven will she be? For they all had her.’ Matthew recorded that Jesus had answered, ‘For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven’ (Matt 22:30). Matthew Has Missed Some Words.
Please pay attention on this text (Matt 22:30). It shows that Matthew recorded Jesus’ words in simple terms and missed some important words. If we do not study with other relative texts, it is very easily to misunderstand the meaning of the Lord. To such a big and important topic whether there is marriage in heaven, if Christians only base their understanding on this simple and short text and jump to the conclusion that there is no marriage in heaven, we need to reexamine it carefully. It is like a thousand pieces of puzzle. If someone simply pick a piece of them and says it looks like something, possibly he or she may misunderstand it. It is necessary to relate other pieces with the whole picture, then he or she can see it clearly. According to Luke who recorded more details, Jesus answered and said to them, ‘The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; nor can they die any more, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection’ (Luke 20: 34-36).
If we compare Matthew’s and Luke’s record, we can discover Matthew recorded the words of the Lord, ‘For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage,’ and ‘but are like angels of God in heaven,’ in between this sentence there are some missing words. Luke has added ‘nor can they die any more,’ though it is just few words, yet it makes a great difference. It helps us to see the new light.
Note that when Luke says, ‘They are equal to the angels,’ he means that humans will not die but will live forever like angles in heaven. Thus, the comparison to angels is for LONGEVITY and not for marriage.”
[I was in pleasant shock when I read this. At first I thought that Jesus gave the Sadducees a “trick answer” to their trick question (which would be totally fine if He did, as long as He told the truth), but now I know that it was the disciple’s misinterpretations of His words. It finally all makes sense now!]
Combine Matthew’s and Luke’s Records. When Matthew’s and Luke’s records are combined, a clearer image emerges that make Jesus’ words more clearly, ‘For in the resurrection, those who are counted worthy to attain that age, they neither marry nor are given in marriage at that world, nor can they die any more, for they are equal to the angels.’ Through Matthew’s and Luke’s combination, we can find two answers: first, who neither marry nor are given in marriage? Second, in where they neither marry nor are given in marriage? The answers are: first, Jesus pointed to those who were saved and resurrected from death; second, in that new world they will not marry. But Jesus did not deny there are marital lives in that new world. Mrs. White said, ‘He (Christ) who gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet, performed His first miracle as a marriage festival.’
Just as on the sixth day of the creation, God matched Adam and Eve as husband and wife, and then they entered the new world as a loving couple, who never marry nor are given in marriage after that. For instance, just like my marriage, since 1993 my family and I came to North America. Since then my wife and I neither die nor divorce. We love one another, so we have neither marry nor are given in marriage in North America, but we have marital lives, because before we came to North America we had been married in Malaysia.
God’s match-making is far superior to the earthly marriage. Everyday people marry and are given in marriage, giving birth, divorce, and die because this is a sin-sick fallen world. But the world to come it is wonderful and perfect for each has his or her own spouse. All live in pairs, faithful and loving each other forever and ever. God would have joined them together or God let them select their ideal spouse according to His will in the millennium in Heaven before they enter into the new world. There will be no misunderstanding; sorrow, hatred, quarrel, and neither death nor divorce in heaven. Therefore, in such condition, Jesus simply proclaimed that the saints who have been saved and resurrected from death will “neither marry nor are given in marriage in that world,” because what God has joined together, let not man separate.
God Will Match-make for All the Saints.
Christian divorcees and spouses who cannot mutually get along are worried that in heaven, they will be stuck to the same person whom they do not like on earth. Will God re-match the same persons together again in heaven? Such persons will not even enter heaven if they hold hatred! One does not need to argue and worry about who will be one’s spouse in heaven. Is it the same spouse in this world? Nobody knows, only God knows. During the millennium in Heaven, God will give them freedom of choice to choose their best spouse; if their marital relationship is incredible in this life, and both of them are saved, they have the right to choose the same one to become their eternal spouse. Thus, in this situation only God knows and He makes the ultimate decision. In ancient times, they obey parents or mediator’s choice. Even today’s free marriage, many people choose according to personal limited choice–fall in love blindly. This is not ideal and not perfect, for it is not God’s direct match.
The Bible says that the law of the marital relationship has dominion over husband and wife as long as they live. After the husband or wife dies, he or she is released from the law (see Rom 7:1-3; 1 Cor 7:39 ). Moreover, human’s sinful flesh, sinful nature, and sinful thoughts keep the marriage from being perfect. Many marriages have problems: debts (big or small), love affairs etc. These circumstances mess up their marriages. Thus many marriages end up in divorce. Some people complain that it is unfair that some have single spouses while many have multiple wives. How can God solve the unfair problem? No need to worry. God who has judged and numbered their hairs knows their needs, just as He had matched Adam and Eve.
For all believers whose characters will be changed will be like Jesus who obeys God completely. The sinful flesh, nature or thoughts are abandoned. God, who is our heavenly Father, will take care of everything that our minds cannot understand now. He will match humans according to their perfect choice, thus, all the saints will find total satisfaction. Each one will be perfectly happy in heaven forever and ever. Christ Will Restore All Things.
The saints will resurrect from the death when Christ returns. The glory of the Lord will heal all kinds of sicknesses. Their bodies will change to incorruptible, and they will be filled with indescribable joy and wonderful feeling, yet their outlook, sex, age and knowledge will still be the same, and their personal memories still remain in their minds. They can recognize their families, relatives, friends and other things. Angels will clothe them with white robes, then they shall be caught up together in the clouds to meet the Lord Jesus (1 Thess 4:15-18), He will bring them to the heavenly homes in heaven, and reign with Christ for one thousand years (Rev 20:4). During the millennium in heaven, they will check the human beings’ historical records of the world, and understand what caused sin to enter the universe and its procession and influence of the great controversy. During the thousand years in heaven, it is similar to the new world. From one Sabbath to another, and from one New Moon to another, all the saints will go to the Holy City—New Jerusalem to worship God. Once a month in the New Moon, after worshipping God, the saints will go to the river of life and drink the living water and eat the fruits of life (Rev 2:7; 22:1-2, 17; Is 66:22-23).
The saints have full wisdom, spiritual and heavenly knowledge. They are perfectly intelligent and loveable. They reflect the nature of God and Lord Jesus. They have full opportunity to meet together and establish good heavenly relationship. Within one thousand years God will give them the freedom of choice to choose their eternal life partners. In God’s big family, though all saints will grow unto perfection, yet they have their personal unique character, different beauties and with special gifts. These special differences make God’s big family in perfect harmony, just as seven different colors in a rainbow. Similarly, like many branches that grow in all directions and the leaves and fruits–these unite result in perfect harmony in a big tree. Therefore, those who have the same talent, interest and gifts will group together closely for studying, working, learning and sharing everything. During the millennium the saints have plenty of time, so they have no need to hurry and rush. They will go according to the timing and rhythm to process everything, slowly and gently. They will match according to God’s will, select the best one to match with him/her, and then go forward to establish their mutual love relationship. They will attract and love one another and match perfectly as lock and key in all dimensions.
Since everyone is perfect and beautiful with many gifts in heaven, they will fall in love and attract one another. As the day goes by, the handsome men and beautiful ladies become as magnets. They attract each other. They cannot avoid falling into incredible love. The fire of love will burn within their hearts, stronger and brighter as the day goes by. It will never die down throughout eternity. They will develop personal relationships according to God’s will and choose their best partner. They will bind together with incredible love, match perfectly without a trace, inseparable like a person and his shadow. When the mature time comes, God will hold a grand wedding to match them husbands and wives as lovely couples bound with the eternal marital vows. The two and two never part again. It has fulfilled the hope: “Wishing all lovers finally got married.” And it will fulfill the lovers’ vow completely: “We will love together forever, even until to the sea dries and stones rot.” In the wonderful and beautiful heavenly home, husband and wife will become one flesh. They stay together in incredible love without parting again, enjoy the blessing together forever and ever throughout eternity…. Oh! Thank God and praise His name! For heaven is so wonderful and beautiful beyond our thoughts!
In God’s heavenly home, all the couples have matched perfectly without a trace. There is no one who will complain that he/she did not find the ideal partner before his/her marriage, or cannot find the ideal one so that he/she wants to live a single lonely life throughout all the days of eternal life. Neither will there be someone who says he/she was in a hurry and just simply got someone to marry, but finally marry the wrong person. Since all the saints keep God’s word and the Ten Commandments, they are faithful to his/her spouse throughout eternity. Therefore, there are no three persons involved in love affair. No changing lover, no divorce, no polygamy or homosexual marriage in the new world. For all these abnormal marital relationships had passed away forever….
[This is by far one of the most beautiful characteristics of Heaven that I have ever learned about! Praise God! I look forward to Heaven even more now! It won’t be unfair for the little kids who witness the Second Coming because they will later have a human lover of their own. The already married couples who were unable to have satisfying sex with each other, be it because of a disability or because one of the two has a crippling sexual inhibition or bad memories of the past, will then be able to make love to each other as much and as long as they want without a blemish of sin or imperfection; just pure worship to God’s name. And God will play match-maker for the rest of us and give us the best mate. Every lawfully-wedded couple will marry and build a house together. (SIDENOTE! Do you remember from one of Mrs. White’s writings that God will give us a home in the Holy City and we will be able to build a house on the countryside? Well, when I marry my perfect mate, my wife and I will build that countryside house to be a love-nest for only the two of us. I mean, the most romantic, comfortable, and private love-nest for the two of us to be intimate with each other, to love on each other, to pleasure each other with our perfect bodies, and to romp on each other for hours or to both of our hearts’ content! We will never grow bored of that game that we play with each other; she and I will very frequently whisper to each other something like “you, me, the bed, 5 min!”, and we will eagerly fly to our beautiful “love-nest” with warm smiles on both of our faces, along with a smile on God’s face as He watches us fly away with holding hands. We will be forever thanking God for giving us this great gift, along with the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice so that we can use this great gift for all of eternity. God would look at us and into each other’s eyes, see the burning, passionate love that we have for each other and Him and say, “You are very welcome, my children!”)]
I hope that you have thoroughly read both documents (despite how long they are) because I want you to learn what I have learned through God and His Word and even share these words of wisdom to others. I also hope that you will eventually no longer be ashamed or embarrassed of the concept of sex. Even I was red in the face and cringed a little inside of me while I was writing this, but I can bravely say to you that I am NOT ASHAMED of what I have wrote! I thank God with all of my heart for this great gift that He has given us, and I also pray that we all will use the most of that gift throughout this life on Earth and throughout the perfect, eternal life in Heaven and on the New Earth! Stay horny, my friends!
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