Erotic but not Erotica?
Hi, MH. I’ve read a couple of posts here about whether or not it would be appropriate as a couple to be watching porn etc. We are not very comfortable with that yet.
So I wanted to know if there are any erotic videos that will turn you on but don’t have nudes? Also, is there any audio that is full of sex talk that can turn you on as a couple? Not podcasts talking about sex, but sexy talk.
Thank you!
Why would anyone not want to see nudes? That is half the fun. I respect your decision. But sometimes people need to examine how and why they come to one that is so out of the mainstream. The human body is beautiful. Made in the image of God. Nothing more natural and right than enjoying looking at nudes.
There are recordings of sex sounds. Proven to turn you on. You probably can google that. I have read positive things about the recordings.
Obviously, artists have painted nudes for centuries and they hang in museums today, so that sure tell you a lot (if you like chubby nudes that is, ha). I have no interest in a nudist lifestyle but find the idea interesting and admire people who go to nudist resorts where you see all the shapes and sizes that God created.
My wife and I watched erotic videos many years ago and then she was taught in our then baptist church that any and all erotic videos are terrible, marriage killers and you’ll go to hell for watching them. You know the typical fire and brimstone your going to hell if you watch erotica/porn. We only used to watched it together and it was always a good time. But that’s been out of the question for her for years. So now we are easing our way back into the erotic stimuli scene with erotic audio. You have to check out Axel Paris. She is free in Amazon Prime Music and it’s great. It’s erotic sex sounds with music. It is great! We are amazon prime members so it’s at no additional fee. I haven’t look anywhere else but I’m sure her albums can be downloaded from other music stores. Check it out. Axel Paris!
I do think you have to be careful watching porn, reading stories, etc. It’s like anything else; if it consumes you, it’s probably taking away from your time to do what we are called to do, which is make disciples of others. For me, that is the problem with all of this, including these stories. I am enjoying them and none of them make me have the faintest thought of being with another person. I can also watch porn and never think of having sex with anyone but my wife. However, I do find myself spending way too much time reading stories, etc. once I begin. But, that is because it is my weakness like alcohol is to others. I also find that when I am in a close relationship with Jesus, these activities are not something I want.
It’s great to do as a couple. I wish we could define erotic material differently than some disgusting things that are out there. To call a nude picture porn is ridiculous in my view. Maybe we need a system like the movies have. Maybe topless PG, full nudity PG13, sexual contact and simulated sex R, And X for the things most of us have no desire to see.
Also I have seen movies where the hero kills 50, even a hundred people. I had no desire to do the same. But if one has an addictive personality and low self-control, s/he probably should seek help to avoid far worse problems than obsessively looking at nudes.
If you are dipping into the world of erotica (even “light”) you will likely NOT be able to avoid seeing nudity. I agree with Penny that the human body can and should be appreciated — and can still drive us toward passion with our spouse. However, to answer your question, Tumblr has a lot of pages with sheer, transparent, lacy clothes that contain little-to-no nudity.
I think visual is a bad idea. I really think it is a slippery slope to open marriages and destruction.
I agree.
I disagree. This might be true for some couples. But a lot of Christian married couples enjoy visual erotica and it doesn’t destroy their marriage… it enhances it. Sometimes having some adult drinks leads people down a path toward alcoholism. It doesn’t mean that having casual drinks is always a bad thing for all people…. just because it’s a “slippery slope” for some. •• If you are just speaking on behalf of yourself, I think it’s wise to avoid AVE if it’s an area of weakness.
Here's a fun fact to consider:
In Genesis 3:7 we are told Adam & Eve covered themselves with leaves after they became aware that God might not appreciate their nakedness…BUT…did you know the Hebrew word translated here as coverings is chagowr which literally means a belt for the waist. But some translators of the Bible into English seem to have recoiled from the thought of Eve walking around topless, wearing just a belt. The King James and Revised Standard Versions both mention "aprons" which could have covered most of their bodies. The Modern Language version describes them as "skirts". The Living Bible mentions that they “covered themselves around the hips" The New American Standard Bible calls them "loin coverings.” The NIV translation is particularly obscure; they refer simply to "coverings" without defining what type was used. In spite of what the NIV translators wrote, it is obvious that Eve went topless.
So, if they only covered their genital region and Genesis doesn't say God clothed her more fully than she clothed herself with leaves, it seems obvious that her clothing of skins left her boobs commando. I suspect this tells us a whole lot about how God views the whole naked thing. We aren't even sure why God clothed them, but because He is so compassionate my best guess is that He knew the thorns and thistles were going to be an issue, plus a changing climate, so to provide them a modicum of covering as they left the Garden was His act of kindness towards them, rather than a statement that He despised their nakedness. The whole "shame of nakedness" issue in Scripture, from all my study, has nothing to do with people enjoying the naked body, but has to do with other issues all together, which I won't take your time to elaborate on here.
Great post!
"We aren't even sure why God clothed them…." God clothed them because they got funny about their bodies for some reason, and wanted to be covered. God didn't say "Y'all sinned, so you have to cover yourselves now." Granted, sin added practical reasons to need protection and insulation at times, but that isn't what Genesis is saying here.
Adam and Eve wanted to be covered because they were ashamed to be naked. This is strange, considering there was just the two of them and God. Clothes wouldn't hide anything from God, and it isn't like He hadn't seen them naked already. Maybe they didn't want their spouses seeing them?
You still see this shame about our bodies today. It crosses cultural lines. Very few if any cultures are totally uninhibited about running around totally naked. They may expose parts that are unacceptable for public display in our culture, but they generally wear something.
And how many women who are absolute "10"s in every way really like their boobs and vulva and see these parts as beautiful?
In spite of our shame, God isn't opposed to nudity. He commanded Isaiah to preach in the nude for three years. I hope for the sake of his audience that he was buff 🙂
I would be interested to see what you say about the whole "shame of nakedness" issue in Scripture.
I have heard it said that there was also some foreshadowing of the shedding of blood being necessary to cover sin. But was the nakedness the sin? Clearly no, since God made them that way. So was it their shame in their nakedness? What did their nakedness have to do with the act of disobedience they both committed? Only that "their eyes were open and they knew they were naked." Somehow they didn't know it before. But when they realized it, they hid from each other and God, the one they were made for and who made them that way. Go figure. Maybe those clothes of skin were representational of our separation from God and each other.
I am so happy someone has made this comment. I have, for years, said the same thing. I also happen to be an ordained minister and have grown tired of so many of my peers adding their personal thoughts to what the Bible actually says, especially when it comes to the gift of sex and sexuality.
I believe I know why God clothed them. He did not make a three piece suit for Adam nor a dress that reached past the knees for Eve. The Bible is very specific about the changes that would take place on the earth as a result of sin. The earth would bring forth thorns. The aprons fashioned by God were given as a protection for the reproductive organs that were needed to allow them to have children. The clothing also served as a protection against not just the change in vegetation, but the many other things that occurred, such as infections and I am sure other things.
This is also amazing to think of because even while Disciplining his children, God shows amazing love and care.
That's just my two cents.
But it's not just about destroying your marriage or going to hell…
If we're after BIBLICAL hot monogamy here, then Holiness has to be a very large motivating factor. I don't know how you can WATCH erotica without "looking at someone with lust in your heart" which Jesus clearly calls a sin.
Erotic stories in which one fantasizes about THEIR OWN spouse, seem to fall within the category of holiness. But anything outside of that I don't believe Jesus would support
I've thought a bit about that issue of lust, and a couple of things have come to mind.
Firstly, it seems like many of us don't have a good understanding of what the definition of lust really is. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot without it ever being made clear what it means, so we're left to infer the meaning. That's dangerous when it comes to things involving serious sin. Vague laws can easily be over- or under-applied, with bad results in both cases. With that said, it appears from the biblical uses that lust simply means "a strong desire," and is used in both positive and negative contexts.
Second, some versions of the Bible (ESV for example) translate Matthew 5:28 using the words "lustful intent," which seems to mean that, for it to be sin, there must be some willingness to act on that "strong desire." So for example, I believe that seeing and recognizing someone's attractiveness, and even sexual appeal, is not sinful lust unless we allow ourselves to be mastered by that desire, or allow it to pull us away from our spouse.
For that reason, I think it may actually be possible to watch erotica without committing sinful lust. It's certainly a possible sin in that situation, but I don't think it necessarily comes with watching erotica. However, there are still other ways that I think visual erotica can very quickly become unhealthy, and even be sinful. I won't go into detail, but those could be anything from simply disengaging mentally from your spouse, to feeding self-destructive addictive behaviors.
We like to watch videos of a naked married couple having fun daytime sex and find it very erotic. But we have very strict criteria for what we watch. The couple have to be Christians who married as virgins and are in love with each other so we know their lovemaking is genuine, not acted.
However, we are quite conservative and know that the only way that we can be completely sure the couple are for real is to make the videos ourselves. We have only watched videos that we star in, and we have no problem doing this. They turn out to be surprisingly good, much better quality than most of the stuff that is on-line. And they are so easy to make just using a camera on a tripod in a room with good natural light.
The plot lines are simple; the emphasis is mostly on the action. The close-ups are fascinating and although the climax of the stories might be a bit predictable, we don't mind.
All our videos were made when we hadn't had an opportunity to make love for a few days and our hormones were overcoming our inhibitions. Making them is half the fun; we usually only watch each video once or twice and only on our own.
Right On!
That’s what we do too!
🙂
Us too. It is so much fun. We are both a little bit exhibitionist and like doing it in front of the camera. (Although we don't perform for the camera, we are first and foremost making love.)
We are also voyeurs and can watch us doing it. Weird I know, but we don't take it seriously.
@annewin
SO as an awkward question, what's the best way to go about finding the type of videos you are describing? I'm a virgin and while I've seen erotic videos before finding something where it's two people who are married, Christian, and who arn't performing for the camera is completely impossible to find. I've completely given up any hope of finding it.
[From MH: WakaWaka123, the authors are describing making their own erotica of themselves with their spouse and only sharing it between themselves, exactly because it is the only way to be assured that the erotica meets those standards. Not an option for a single, we're afraid.]
I don't think that watching a Christian married couple make love would be helpful because it is more about them celebrating their emotional and spiritual bond than the physical act (however joyful and adventuresome that may be). It sort of has to be private or it would not be intimate in quite this way.
I know that saying this might sound a bit pious, but it is not meant to be critical in any way. When we were virgins we felt the same interest as you.
Please feel free to give your thoughts on this; we are still learning.