Become a Pro

Here are some tips and ideas on how to give a mind-blowing blowjob.

For those of you who don’t have the time to read it all at once, here is the quick list.

A blowjob is not about making him cum; it’s about how you get him there.

Building Anticipation
Dirty Talk
Eye Contact
Saliva and Pre-cum Play
Long Licks and a Gentle Breeze
Tighten It Up and Loosen It Up
Ask Him—He’s a Pro
Make Some Noise
Ball Play
Icy Hot
Use Your Hands (Both)
Spot Pleasure
Work the Head
Food play
Go Deep (Deep Throat)
Body Tease (Breasts and Pussy)

Now for the details…

Good communication is key for everything but especially so in a relationship.

Don’t be afraid to tell your man to clean himself up before you start. Even trimming or shaving is a great idea. It can be a fun and sensual thing to do together. Explain to him that it helps you enjoy it more; guys are always looking for ways to get their women to enjoy it more.


It’s all about attitude. Take your time. build him up before you ever touch him.
Before you touch his cock, use your hands and mouth to caress the upper third of his legs and his lower belly.
Even playing with a soft penis is part of the fun. Act hungry for it or even desperate. Caress all around the area. If you rush him at any time during the blowjob, it will make him feel like you want to be done with it as soon as possible. Think of it like this, him giving you a back rub; it’s not as nice when your man makes you feel like he’s exhausted, only doing it because he needs to, and he wants to get done with it. That can take away a lot of the enjoyment of the back rub; even though he’s doing it, it still feels forced. In the same way, that’s how it is for a guy.

REMEMBER THIS! A blowjob is not about making him cum, it’s about how you get him there. If your mouth gets tired, use different techniques, for example, hands. Women sometimes only focus on mouth play, but hands are a huge help!

A great blowjob has lots of variety. Don’t just do one thing over and over, even if he likes it a lot. As much as possible try to use as many of these techniques and vary them.

A blow job can be as aggressive or as slow and sensual as you like. Even during the blowjob, you can switch between being aggressive and then being sensual.

Before you start, tell him that if he likes something, to let you know by moans or a simple acknowledgment, “Oh, yes!”

Building Anticipation

Even before he’s undressed, start to rub your hands over his jeans. Take your time playing with each layer of clothing. When you get to his underwear, again rub all over the area, not just the cock but the upper legs and lower belly, too. Reach under the briefs or boxers and feel what’s inside. This creates an incredible teasing sensation for him.

Talk Dirty

This should be a technique used in all forms of sex. A guy loves it when his sweet girl can play dirty. Good girls are girls that are selective about who they’re bad with; that’s what makes it so exciting. Look up articles on how to incorporate dirty talk.

Make Eye Contact

This technique is easily overlooked but it’s one of the most sensual. Gaze deeply into his eyes, as you work his cock. Look at his cock, then catch his gaze again, looking lovingly into his eyes.

Saliva and Pre-cum Play

Saliva Play: Play with your saliva. As he lays back, position your mouth about an inch above the head of his penis and let your saliva drip out of your mouth, onto the head of his penis, and down his shaft. The view and the feeling of this are incredibly stimulating!

Also, a sexy thing about a blowjob is the elusive string of saliva that he sees when you pull your mouth away from the head of his penis. As you come up, let your tongue slip out slightly to help this appear more. For most men saliva play is a real turn on.

Pre-cum Play: Play with his pre-cum. Just like your saliva, you can tease him by playing with his pre-cum. It’s just as erotic as playing with his cum, maybe even more so because he has not yet released. You can even milk more out of him by squeezing tightly on his lower shaft and sliding your hand forward towards the head.

Long Licks and a Gentle Breeze

Long licks: use long licks from the base of his shaft or even from his balls and slide all the way to the top. Try incorporating eye contact while doing this.

Use a gentle breeze: blowing air on his shaft after you lick him down really makes a great sensation for him and renews the sensitivity of his cock.

Tighten It Up and Loosen It Up

Tighten it up: With your thumb and finger grab a tight grip around the base of his shaft. This limits blood flow and can create a great feeling on the whole penis.
Also, a strip of fabric, such as from a satin robe, is very nice to tease with. Just like with the first idea, wrap it around the base of his shaft and gently pull as you work the head with your mouth.
Even better, you can put a cock ring on the base (this is a simple sex toy made to increase the man’s pleasure. It’s a thick latex rubber band made to slide on before the man is fully erect.)

Or loosen it up: Before you’ve really got going while his penis is still sensitive run your hand up and down his shaft, so close but bearly grazing it, almost like a sensual tickle. This will make him spasm and twitch, begging to be touched.

He’s a Pro

Ask him to teach you. Your man has been messing with his cock longer and more often than you; he knows exactly what feels good and how to do it. He’d love the opportunity to teach you! It also adds some playful fun to the event. Even if you’re a pro, act innocent and ignorant. Say things like “please tell me what feels good!”,  “show me how to do it?”, and “I want to learn!” that will drive him crazy!

Make Some Noise

Make Some Noise
Don’t be quiet! men like it loud! Moan while taking him in your mouth, it creates a vibration on his shaft adding to the sensation of the blowjob and gives the added bonus of making him feel like you’re enjoying it too.

Jingle His Balls

For ball play, couple the balls in your hands. You can lick and suck them too.

Don’t be too rough, but a guy usually likes it when you put your finger and thumb around the base of his balls and slightly pull. This pulls all the slack from the shaft of his cock and creates a more intense feeling on his penis. Do this while incorporating other methods on his shaft and head.

Use your nails: while holding his ball sack, softly scrape your nails over his balls.

Icy and Hot

Use some ice and rub it along his shaft then wrap your warm mouth around it. The rapid change in temperature really creates a thrill.
Use hot beverages, too. Have a cup of hot water or even tea, or hot cocoa and sip it before you go down. It really heats up your mouth and creates quite a unique feeling for him. Every few minutes take another sip, work his cock with your hand while you sip.


Cock slapping and rubbing on your face: We tend to think of blowjobs as sucking and kissing but a soft sensual thud of the cock against something soft is an incredible feeling. You can slap it against your stuck out tongue, cheeks, chin, breasts, or your puckered lips. It can be as soft or as hard as you or he likes it.

Also rubbing the cock all over your face is very erogenous for your man. It gives him the feeling that you are in love with his cock.

Use Your Hands—Both!

Use your hands!
Hands are such an important part of a great blowjob! First of all, they help you, they let your mouth rest and they can act as bumpers. If you let him, your man would love to thrust into your mouth, like he does your pussy. A hand on his shaft lets you control the amount of cock entering your mouth. He can get pretty rough and your safe.

Use your hand to work the shaft up and down, while you work the head with you mouth.

Play with his balls: Tickle them, drag all five fingers over them, grab and slightly pull them, all while working the head with your mouth and lips.

Use both hands: There are various ways to do this. With a lot of saliva or lube take a full grip like grabbing a sword hilt, one hand at the base of the cock and the other right above it. Move your hands back and forth in opposite directions. While doing this you can take his head in your mouth, this creates three different sensations at once.

Grab a full grip on the shaft and place the palm of your other hand on the head. Rub your palm in circles on the head. Make sure it’s well lubed.

With one hand, take his balls in your hand. Don’t be too rough but tighten your thumb and finger around the base of his sack and pull downward. This makes all the skin super tight on his whole shaft. Then use your other hand to work the tightened shaft. You can use your mouth also or ask him to beat his shaft for you as you hold his balls tightly.

Spot Pleasure

Spot pleasure: Focus on special zones. By far the most sensitive part of the penis is the frenulum (the “V” shaped part on the underside of the mushroom-shaped head of the penis, where it connects to the shaft). For you women, it’s pretty much like the clitoris. There are many ways to play with it, but here are some tips. Kiss it softly, adding a little bit of soft sucking during the kiss. Use the tip of your tongue as he does on your clitoris. Make small circles and up and down motions. Don’t just stay on it, tease it between other techniques. For example, come up slowly and stop on it for a second or two as you pass it. Use your fingers to tease it, but keep it very lubricated with saliva. You don’t want a dry finger on your clitoris, and he doesn’t want one on his frenulum.

Fingerprints: this is a very soft play. While his cock is laying flat, softly tap your index and middle fingers on his frenulum.

Work the Head

Yes, it obvious that this is the main part, but there are many techniques you can use when doing this.
Start out by soft kissing.

Note: many have learned this the hard way, but it’s important to mention. You can use sucking as an occasional play, but if you just suck the head like a lollipop, it will create a hickey on it and that will later be very uncomfortable and sore. So don’t just suck away.

Swirl your tongue around the head in large motions and small ones. This can be done in the mouth or out. If done outside of the mouth it can give a great visual and if you mix head play with going deep, you’re for sure going to get a reaction from him that you’ll really like.

Be very careful, but include some playful biting on the head. The head is made for penetration, so it’s less sensitive than the rest of the penis. So a soft playful bite with your teeth will be quite the sensation.

Food Play

Use a can of whipped cream or other syrups to tease his cock.
Cool whipped cream is cool and followed by your warm mouth, it’s a form of temperature play.

Go Deep

Deep throat: This is not something most girls enjoy, and I don’t recommend it if it’s not for you. But I can guarantee he’ll love it if you’re willing to try. There are ways to practice and techniques to help.

Be relaxed. If you’re uptight about it, it certainly will fail.

Practice little by little working up to the idea.

Take a deep breath before you go down.

Stick your tongue all the way out, just like when the doctor says, “Say, ‘Aahh.'”

Push yourself a little past your limits each time. Practice makes perfect.

Body Tease

Use your own body to turn him on. Use “slap play” on your breasts. Let your free hand touch your pussy, and moan as you suck him. There’s no greater feeling for a person, then to feel that their partner is enjoying the act, themselves, as much as they are. Let him know you’re having fun, that you’re horny, and work an occasional tease in.

Breastjob: some women are not blessed with large bosoms, but if you are well-endowed, place his cock between your breasts and press them together. With lots of lube or oil, slide your breast up and down on his shaft. As his shaft comes up between your cleavage, you can bend your head down and lick the tip of his cock. This again is a triple stimulation and will blow his mind.

Where to finish?

Most girls think they need to hide the cum; that’s not the case at all! Guys love it when it’s a mess. You probably already know this, but they love finishing anywhere that’s naughty. They love marking their territory, so to speak. On your breasts, bottom, belly, face, and mouth. At times, if you ask them to spray their cum in a certain place—such as on an article of clothing, in a certain room, or on something in the room—they will love this! Every time they sit in that room or put on that article of clothing, they’ll think of that naughty moment.

A few women really enjoy the taste and texture of sperm, but most women don’t, so sperm play is a real turn off for them. But you will make his year if you’re willing to bear it for him. Here are some tips:

  • You don’t have to keep it in your mouth. It’s actually I huge turn on for a man to see it all spill out.
  • Keep a glass of your favorite drink right next to you, and when he finishes, wash it down.
  • If you’re not up for taking it all, a good way to get warmed up to “cum play” is after he’s cum on your breasts, dab your finger in it and taste it. He’ll love the visual.
  • If nothing else, just tease him, if you can’t bring yourself to let him cum in your mouth. Tell him ahead of time that you don’t want him to cum in your mouth but you’d like to tease him with the idea. Right when he’s about to cum let him pull out and shoot his load elsewhere.
  • It’s not all men, but there are a few for whom the idea of cumming on their own face or mouth is a turn on. Besides, a man should know what it’s like before he asks his wife to take it for him. You can introduce the idea in a dominant way or an innocent, “I want to see what it looks like” sort of way.


Later in the day get some feedback: ask him what his favorite parts were. Each man is different, and communication is the key. He’ll also love getting to talk about it; that’s half the fun! (Be careful though. After you talk he’ll be ready for round two. 😜)

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16 replies
  1. SinglePringle says:

    Wow this really is detailed and useful! I wish there was a way to save or pin things like this. Maybe a guides section like we have for discussions? I won't need this is the near future but if/when I finally get married, this would be a great thing to look back on for tips

    • HeSaid-SheSaid says:

      I've saved things in the past using a desktop computer by simply copying and pasting the text into a word processor at which point I can save to file or even print it out. Or does the device you use to read marriage heat have the ability to connect to a printer to get a hard copy? You can even bookmark the page of the story through your browser usually.

    • SinglePringle says:

      I'd rather not print or bookmark something like this on my computer. We have a pretty open policy in my house and I currently live with my parents. Even when I visit this site, I tend to do so using incognito on my web browser so that it's not in my browser history. That's why saving the story in this platform would be more ideal for me. Especially since I probably won't need it for a very long time now (a good few years at least!) So even if I printed it, I would most likely lose it. Something like a favourite stories section for each user would be more ideal for me personally so that I could save this story there until (if) I ever needed this.

      Furthermore, I would have to send this to my mum's computer as it's the only one connected to a printer at home…not ideal at all.

      I guess I can use the tags to find this again but by the time I'd need it, I'll have probably forgotten that this guide exists 🙁

      But thanks for your suggestions.

    • SinglePringle says:

      That's awesome! Thank you 😀

      I'll definitely look forward to re-reading this and other people's tips at the right time (if/whenever that happens).

  2. MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

    This is a great how-to. Nice work! A lot of this was captured in what you wrote, but a few things that are critical for me as a recipient–a list of 10:

    1) Pre-cum play and enjoyment (as you noted). When she licks my pre-cum and tells me she wants more and then starts begging for a big load, mmmmmmm.
    2) Form a ring around my cock with her thumb and middle finger and work my shaft back and forth as she sucks away. When she does this, there's this wonderful friction with the tip of my cock that feels so amazing.
    3) Eye contact.
    4) I take a dominant position, usually on my knees next to her while she's laying down with her legs spread (as I posted separately, lately this has allowed me to f%$^ her with her dildo while she's sucking me off, but sometimes she also masturbates or I masturbate her).
    5) Occasionally breast play as interludes. She's not super well-endowed but she's C and that's enough for fun.
    7) Take me deep. She can't deep throat but she can take me pretty deep in her mouth.
    8) Not sure why but when my cock hits the inside of her cheek and then pushes out and I can see that, turns me on big time.
    9) Let me hit my cock against her tongue as it's sticking out. She loves it.
    10) Enjoy my load. She always leaves where I cum up to me. Sometimes it's on her face or in her mouth. But either way it's a big, hot, sticky mess and she takes its, loves it and then milks me dry. If it's in her mouth, she'll usually let me quickly see the load and then swallow it. Never has to chase it or run to the bathroom.

    Great post!

  3. AimToPleaseHer says:

    Wow, this is a very well thought out and organized guide to a good blow job. As a happily married man, I have to say that one of the best ways for a wife to tell her husband that she loves him is to willingly give him a BJ. This is especially true if it is done at an unexpected time, not just during the course of a lovemaking session. For example, in the morning while he is getting ready for work, or in the garage when he is working of the car etc.

    Thanks again for a great story.

  4. Mercury7 says:

    Thanks CMIH. Great information and well written and organized. You obviously have had great communication with your hubby – even we men ourselves couldn't have done any better at detailing the best ways to give us pleasure. Thank you!

  5. Cuddles says:

    I have two separate notes in my phone, both of which I often add to with quotes, one-liners, short excerpts, or links to longer writings, posts and stories from MH being a good example of the latter.

    Every entry has these things in common; it speaks to me, and I wish to remind myself of it down the track. I suppose it's a loose form of journaling in preparation for my future marriage.

    One note is titled "What He Needs", the other "What I Need".

    The link to this post is going into the "What He Needs" Hall of Fame, and deservedly so!

    You've gifted us with a package of practical, blow-by-blow (accidental pun but now intended 😁) how-to wisdom, all wrapped up in clear, no-fuss orderly hints. Just like you were talking to us!

    Thank you christmakesithot. I don't know how to give a memorable bj so I'll be studying your tutorial lots! I'll be telling my man about you one day, so it would be safe to say that he'll be thanking you too!

    Once again, thank you.

    Cuddles xxxx

  6. joydaddy says:

    All great information. In the past, it has been rare for my wife to suck my cock without my asking, but recently when talking about how we each could please each other better, I mentioned to her that I would love if she would suck me more, even if only for a short time. Not long after, she sucked me to an orgasm while she was on her period, and it was so hot. She let go right as I started to cum since she wasn't ready for it in her mouth, but without having read this she did much of what is written here. Most importantly, she made me feel like she wanted to be doing it and was turned on by it, which made all the difference.

    Maybe one of the ladies, or a lady with her husband's help, could now make a similar list of instructions for giving our wives oral. I think most of us guys think we know what we are doing, but are probably not nearly as satisfying as we could be.

  7. LilaY69 says:

    Mmmmm!! I consider myself already a pro at the art of sucking cock, but reading this made sooo horny!! Damn!

    I have a story in the works of sucking my husband's cock. Perfectly sloppy BJ. I've got to get back to editing it!

    I especially love sucking dick, slobbering on it, making it especially messy, as well as taking it deep down my throat.

    Would love to hear more from you! Please also consider writing a story describing yourself sucking your husband's cock! That would be blessing! 😉

    Please write more, babe!

    Lila xoxo 😘♥️

  8. She'sagiver says:

    This was a good read. My wife already does a lot of these things you mentioned now, but I still offer encouragement and compliment her for this and her skill in making this the most pleasurable moment for me. A couple of things I'd like to add that she does. The first time my wife ever did this for me, she just did it, I never had to ask, she was quite forthcoming. She always takes me in her mouth, I don't care if she spits or swallows. I asked her if she minded my coming in her mouth because it's really intense and her taking me all the way to orgasm that way is HUGE! She said she doesn't mind at all, it's for my pleasure, and if that's how I want it then so does she… WOW! All I have to do is ask her and she is always ready with a smile…WOW! But what sticks in my mind are these: she keeps Kleenex in her purse as a way to have something to wipe up; she was always prepared. No clothing had to be used to clean up. She told me that her mother had taught her that it wasn't ladylike to make a mess, and if she made a mess, she should clean it up. WOW! She kept a small lipstick in her purse also. What she did for me that first time was apply a deep red color, then when she went down, she tightened her lips around my shaft and left a red lipstick ring…again, WOW! She also carries a small bottle of perfume in her purse; she wanted to spritz a little in her hair, a little into the air, a little onto my shirt, and a little on her cleavage to heighten the atmosphere. And one more thing: she also carries a small bullet vibrator about the same size as the lipstick, and she uses this on my testicles while sucking me, and that really sends shock waves. WOW! I don't know how or where she came up with all these ideas, I don't care, and I really don't want to know, but all I did know is I'm reaping the rewards and the benefits of her oral skills and her wanting to please me the best way possible.

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