Masturbating in Front of my Wife
My wife and I are in our 50s, married for 33 years. Our sex life has always been vanilla, with few exceptions. I’ve always been the adventurous one. I believe her reserve stems from an incident of sexual abuse as a child. I’ve always tried to be considerate of that and not push an idea if she isn’t receptive.
As to today’s topic, masturbation hasn’t been something we’ve shared much, mainly because of her reluctance even to masturbate privately. She has, on a few occasions, and I have masturbated her many times during intimacy. Recently, we actually did mutually masturbate ourselves and climaxed nearly simultaneously. I thought we had broken new ground, but now she tells me she doesn’t want to do it again.
There have been times, with her blessing, that I have masturbated in front of her in bed. She didn’t seem enthusiastic about it but said she enjoyed it. I know I sure did! These were times when I was taking a long time to get it to the end zone or when she wasn’t up for morning sex, and I REALLY was.
My question is this:
Should I continue to masturbate in front of her in hopes that she might occasionally join me or do it privately in fear of disrespecting her or making her uncomfortable or resentful? Since I have been doing it in front of her, I feel guilty if I do it without her now. And no, porn is not in our life. Masturbation for me has never been to replace sex, just a part of my sex life.
Your input would be greatly appreciated.
God bless you.
Of course continue, unless she specifically asks you to stop. She might be working out her own issues and hangups, and it might take watching you several more times before she lets her guard down. Fears, anxieties, and even unwarranted spiritual guilt can dissipate over time if that thing is no longer buried in the shadows. My guess is she is not bothered by watching you climax either. 🙂
Thoughtful story.
When Jim and I began our relationship together, masturbation was kept private. In our case, I was very active with getting myself off as I have a very strong sex drive. Jilling 2 or 3 times a day would not be uncommon. For some reason, Jim was shy about jacking, but I cured him of his apprehension one evening when I came back from a business dinner early and "caught" him stroking his major man meat on the couch while looking at (thankfully) our recent beach vacation photos.
Long story short, I told him it was very hot watching him stroking to my bikini pics, and I wanted to view them with him. I told him to please keep stroking, and I stripped my clothes off right there on the spot and joined him. I sat next to him, spread my legs, and began working my pussy into its favorite "creamy" state.
When I told him to let me know when he was close because I would love to have him paint my face with his cum, he shot his load in less than 60 seconds!
So my advice is to get her involved, and she will cum to love it!
Thanks for sharing
Sad how many times people feel guilt, when they have done nothing wrong. Unfortunately, many people think it’s a religious duty to tell others something is wrong or a sin. It can take women some time to overcome teachings about sex being bad, evil, a sin. Seems men are often exhibitionists and like to be watched or just seen nude. On another site, I used to receive pictures from men that I never requested. I guess I needed the education on how varied cocks are. Only advice I can give is to keep the communication going. Let her know how much you enjoy being watched and watching her.
I have somewhat the same issue as you, Twice Blessed. I would very much like to have my wife masturbate for me with her hand and not a toy. I have touched myself more when we make love in hopes that she would also do it. I have asked her to, and she says it just doesn't do anything for her. I will not push beyond this point because I respect her wishes. The only thing I have done is a little bit like the BJ card. She once asked me to do something I didn't want to do, and she offered a BJ if I would do it. It was a funny thing, nothing else. I would always help her when I can if she needed it. I told her I would do it if she rubbed one out for me. It didn't work, but we laugh about it. I think if she were to give it a try to orgasm, it might be something we can share together. She was raised Catholic, and that might be part of the issue: what she was told growing up. We have been happily married 24 years, and I'm hoping for 26 more till 50.
For now I'll be patient, and maybe on a birthday I'll get my wish.
We are happily married for decades and masturbation—solo and mutual and watching each other—is one of our favorite things to do! It continues to increase our high level of intimacy and deep love. Just last Saturday, my Anne’s sore back meant too much frolicking was off the bed! So she invited me to jack off on her pussy. Here’s how she responded to me as I stroked for her and me: sultrily and sexily played with her tits and nipples. Opened her legs to show me her wet, swollen pussy and loved my comments of how good her pussy looked and felt. Moved her hips and ground her pussy into me. Asked me to finger her swollen clit. Pinched my nipples. Wrapped her legs around me (I stood by the edge of the bed.) Begged and urged me to cum. Verbally enjoyed my stroking. Lustily voiced a ‘play by play’ as I began to reach the PONR as she expressed her delight as my cum spurted over her pussy and tummy.
Don’t let the joy of masturbation—putting on a show or watching—pass away!
I understand very much this situation of a spouse who is reluctant to try new things and/or gives mixed signals.
Only you know your wife best, but it seems clear that maintaining control of her boundaries is important to her. So trying to playfully push them is unlikely to end well, even if that maybe works for others. But you know her best and are most able to read her mood in the moment.
I don’t think you need to feel guilty for masturbating on your own. You’ve done your best to be open with your wife and share it with her. But she’s mostly shut it down or accepted it only under certain circumstances. Others may disagree, but I don’t think our sexuality and sexual needs have to be frozen and held hostage just because our spouse refuses to grow or explore even within quite conventional boundaries.
Silver Gold, amen to that! We love masturbating together. We have more freedom about it now than ever and enjoy watching each other and “helping” each other get great orgasms. I love it when my wife verbally gives me that sexy “play by play” while I’m jacking. She knows how to turn up the heat with little questions, like “Does that feel good – stroking on that silky slip? Do you want to come on my tits? You know you’ll have to clean it up with your tongue! I like watching you! Maybe I’ll buy you something new to cum on this week when I go to the lingerie store!” Something about her talking to me like that drives me wild! Keep Jackin’ and Jillin’!
If she doesn’t ask you to stop or indicate it makes her uncomfortable you should continue to share your masturbation.
My wife was very similar. We are now in our 70’s.
I finally, after many years of hiding my masturbation, opened up and told her how much I enjoy masturbating.
I asked her if that upset her. She said it didn’t but still did not want to join me.
Finally I simply started asking permission to masturbate in the shower. That way she knew what I wanted but didn’t have to join me.
She actually thought it cute and never denied my request.
I then FINALLY began telling her why I love to masturbate and how I think about her and her body as well as her touch during the day which gets me going.
She is beginning to understand and warming to being touched and appreciated .
We both love to just snuggle in the mornings. This makes her happy and feeling safe and loved.
Be honest with how you feel and let her know how important she is in your life.
I masturbate in front of my wife all the time. I used to do it secretly whlie she is sleeping but eventually just decided to just do it while shes is awake. She has no issues with it. We have sex a lot but sometimes I just feel like wanking and I told her its nothing against her or that she's doing anything wrong. Sometimes I'll take her into my arms and just start masturbating. I will know quickly if she wants to join in or if she is just happy that I rather wank. Then she will just stoke my balls and let me go on.