The Difference Between Erotica and Pornography
[This is a topic that MarriageHeat revisits periodically. Here we present an opinion piece from one of our contributors and welcome your commentary, knowing it will vary widely but be offered in a spirit of kindness.]
Many people wonder what’s the difference between erotica and pornography. If you understand the Greek root words, it is not difficult. Erotica comes from the Greek word eros pertaining to sexual matters. Pornography comes from the Greek word porneia pertaining to sexual immorality. It is connected to the word fornication. All pornography is erotica, but not all erotica is pornography. According to that definition, Song of Solomon is clearly erotica but not pornographic.
One counselor posted on her website about the difference between mindless pornography and mindful arousal. One of my favorite illustrations describes it as the difference between a Corvette and a Porsche. Both cars have a lot of muscle, but the Porsche has a feel like a fine musical instrument that enhances the experience of listening to many of the great classics—much more fulfilling than raw power alone. It’s the difference between listening to Led Zeppelin in a Corvette at 120 mph versus listening to Bach in a Porsche at 120 mph (legal on the German Autobahn). [Incidentally, I didn’t get a Porsche but got to drive its Audi sibling 150 mph on the Autobahn.]
In defining the difference or the separation between pornography and erotica one (I) has to ask: is the act of sex between a Biblical-based marriage viewed by another couple—in that same type of marriage—porn, erotica or neither of the two? There have been multiple posts here on MarriageHeat in which couples have recounted times when they've either viewed or they themselves have been viewed while in the throes of the many varied act of sex there are to enjoy (which, by the way, both my wife and I both find very arousing to read about and have together fantasied about involving ourselves in as well.) Is this a crossing of the line that lies between porn and erotica? And to go along with that question, is viewing the nude or partially nude body of a person (male or female) who is not your spouse porn, or is simply viewing and admiring that body (male or female) an exercise in erotic involvement/participation? To view my wife's amazing body in its nature state is erotic, with a bullet. Would then allowing others to view her amazing body in its nature state (with her permission) be an act of participating in pornography or erotica? I now the yield the floor to those who may choose to testify on these on these questions posed. Side Bar; by the by, both my wife and I have been blessed by this site. And we together are very thankful for it and grateful for a place where married couples can share their intimate stories with one another!
I see pornography as a non-artistic, guttural form of art, like the orgies held by Caligula, while what some may perceive as porn is classical styles of art. The statue of David in Florence is art, yet some call it vulgar. I disagree. A naked woman… or I suppose a man too🤢 can be art if there’s nothing vulgar, lewd, crass, or outright raw sex for the effect of arousal but nothing else.
Erotica can be, as you pointed out, both, but here on MH we become aroused by the stories we tell or read, but each story has in it a sense of oneness through marriage—or for those of us who find ourselves widowed or single, we can relate stories that made our former sex lives awesome, sensual, and fulfilling. But we can also create fiction that has a God-centered marriage as the base storyline.
So in short, it’s the difference between the vulgar unmarried sex, versus a sensual, Christ- and God-centered love story.
Sarge I agree with you 100%
Hubbie here:
It strikes me that if the definitions are even somewhat accurate, there is a defining piece on what’s inside a person’s heart, on what is the intent of the use of the story or image or video. Christianity has traditionally seen sin as a heart matter, and that is no less applicable here.
The definitions were …
* Erotica comes from the Greek word eros pertaining to sexual matters.
* Pornography comes from the Greek word porneia pertaining to sexual immorality. It is connected to the word fornication.
(In these thoughts, Queen and I have come to abbreviate “pictures, gifs, and videos” as “PGV’s”, and this also includes erotic writing, as we enjoy on MarriageHeat.)
So, as Queen and I have come to do, if we see a PGV of naked people doing sexual things, intent plays a huge role. We can share it with the other, meaning to arouse our passion fires and build our sexual energy and heat towards each other. That seems to be “sexual matters”, not “sexual immorality”.
(This is especially helpful as our “mind game” replaces our waning “hormone game”.)
Or, we could see a PGV of naked people doing sexual things, and not share it with the other, but keep it secret, to arouse “my” passion fires apart from “you”, neglecting our sexual energy and heat, even lusting for the people. That seems “sexual immorality”, not “sexual matters”.
This post seems similar in intent to the discussion on “Finding Heat in the Wild” about seeing sexual “stuff” in others, out and about. I could “see” an amazing butt in yoga pants at the grocery store, and bring that arousal and desire to Queen, or keep it to myself, and lust after the butt-owner. The former seems “matters”, the latter “immorality”.
Perhaps also similar is the story (Breaking in the new Adirondack Chair) and comments (a ton of them) on backyard passion being observed by another (voyeurism, “V”), and the turn-on of knowing you’re being observed (exhibitionism, “E”). Bringing that V/E heat into your marriage seems “sexual matters”. Bringing the other person into your marriage seems “immorality”.
Finally, given the mission and focus of this MarriageHeat site, harvesting and using sexual heat to ramp up the sexuality within a monogamous, Christian marriage seems well aligned. Using sexual heat to enable division, whether intended or not, seems strongly misaligned, and antithetical to a Biblical sexuality.
I think lust is at the heart of pornography vs. erotica. Lust is not in and of itself bad. You can have a desire or lust for food to satiate your hunger. When you desire or hunger for something that is clearly not yours is when the trouble starts. A side note on the word pornography. The English word comes from the Greek words porneo and graphia….fornication writing.
I never find these distinctions useful. When people use these terms, they inevitably say “erotica” for stuff they consider at least somewhat okay, while “pornography” is stuff they’re not okay with. But the line between the two is different by person. What one might think of as “erotica” is another person’s “porn.”
Ditto
I think its largely an artificial distinction. The purpose of both is pleasurable arousal and most of the time masturbation.
I think people really just label anything they approve of as erotica, and anything they don't as pornographic. The truth is, outside of sites like MarriageHeat, the terms are used interchangeably, with erotica generally being written and pornography being visual or audio.
The root of the words isn't really relevant, as words evolve, and what matters is how they are used in current language.
The roots of words are extremely important since our Bible is written in words not symbols. Add to that: if you do any translation work and use the world renowned Scott&Liddell Greek Lexicon, always use an English dictionary like Noah Webster’s original work circa 1828, to determine what Scott&Liddell meant since they were contemporaries in the world of authorship. Do not try to wonder what an author of antiquity meant by using a modern dictionary. Languages do evolve but for us to determine our righteous path in this journey, we must put our minds to the original documents with clear definitions from the era.
I have a new chapter for a book I wrote in 2013. It involves the understanding of a Greek word that has caused great confusion for many who tread in the quagmire of evolving languages. Totally not literary work for this very focused Christian landscape, but I would submit it here to elucidate the point of language and the muddy waters we trudge through occasionally, if the admins were so inclined.
Probably not necessary, as most here understand that the meaning of words changes with time and that we need to know what the original writer meant by the word, not how it's used today, to grasp what they were trying to convey.
Saved me the trouble of writing the same thing.
Erotica is porn you admit you enjoy. Porn is erotica you deny you enjoy.
What is written here on MH is erotica because we can’t admit it’s porn.
As you said if if it turns you on it’s porn. This excuse that if it is only between a husband and wife it’s not porn is an excuse for publishing po— oops I mean erotica. Masturbation porn is popular here as on other erotica sites. Oral sex the same. Anal as well. Sex in public.
If it makes you feel better call it erotica. If you think it’s more acceptable to God, call it whatever you like. It’s ok to enjoy por- I mean erotica, it really is. No need to pretend.
I couldn’t agree more with WakaWaka123. In the end it is about the effect it has on your body. Does it get you aroused? Then what is the difference? We all come here because of the effect it has on our mind and our body. Just because it isn’t video or photo is irrelevant.
1. Poprnography: I know it when I see it, but you won't see it on my living room television or my coffee table when guests arrive – even my church couples.
2. Erotica: We have a few very tastefully done partially nude photos and videos of Jim and I that our two church couples have seen recently, and we have seen a few of theirs during a fun "show and tell" party. The photos (two) are displayed in our master bath suite area – not in a public viewing area.
Tastefully, interesting choice of words. Tastes vary.
I object to the distinction, as driving a corvette is a far superior experience!
But seriously, once one realize that arousal doesn’t equal lust, then those who purposely create material, whether written or visual, designed to help others enjoy their own body are seen as doing so as a service for others. Such selfless acts should be applauded. What is over the line are things that are involuntary.
Sorry, but I'll take my Mustang over ANY bowtie. So would my late brother who owned a Callaway Corvette before a messy divorce.
I knew the mention of Porsche vs Corvette would trigger debate. My point was that as a lover of certain types of classical music, I discovered a synergy between that music and all the Porsche siblings that goes beyond raw power. If however someone else feels such synergy between good Christian music and their Corvette or Mustang like I do with Bach and VW, more power to them.
Can’t listen to classical music in a Porsche
CP: "… you won't see it on my living room television or my coffee table when guests arrive – even my church couples."
But what about when they're gone? 😆 😉 LOL
By the way, have you ever discussed with your church friends if they watch it together? Seeing that this is the topic at hand, I've always been curious as to how many Christian couples watch it together? (or look at mags together) I knew a gal once who got a subscription to Playboy for her husband as a gift. She liked reading it for the articles too. hahaha
CP: "… you won't see it on my living room television or my coffee table when guests arrive – even my church couples."
But what about when they're gone? 😆 😉 LOL
Hi Creamy and the rest of the MH family,
I'm just reposting in case you missed it the first time around. I really want to know if other Christian couples watch porn together? Creamy, if no one is around, would there be a nudie mag sitting on the coffee table? I talked to coworker once who told me that she was over at a friend's house and there was a Playboy sitting there among the other mags, in plain sight (Good Housekeeping, Cosmo, and Playboy). Creamy, have you ever discussed with your church friends if they watch it together? I'm assuming so, since no topic seems off the table with your close knit group (which is super cool, by the way!). Anyway, I've always been curious as to how many Christian couples watch it together and what kind? I have a couple of girlfriends who are suffering from very low sex drives right now who have toyed with the idea of watching some porn to try to jump start their pussies!
Hey Booty and fellow voyeurs!
When Jim read your comment on this subject he reminded me that yes, we did watch and old porn video with a couple we knew from college who married a year after we did. Jim dated the wife (yeah, a bit awkward, but fine now). This was two years ago, kinda fun watching as we four are totally exclusive, but it was really funny and cool when Gina, the wife, announced quickly that she was”tired” and headed to our guest room with her blanket covering everything but her (quite hot) naked ass!
Cal and I indulge. I will say that we try to find other married couples who make content.
I’ve been thinking about this post for a couple of days. I am very intrigued because I sometimes draw nudes. I think that the human body is God’s greatest creation. I don’t think that nude photos or art need always be considered pornography. I know Christians who think that way and cover their kids’ eyes in art museums. To me that makes our kids think our bodies are dirty instead of beautiful.
I really appreciated this bit of information:
“Erotica comes from the Greek word eros pertaining to sexual matters. Pornography comes from the Greek word porneia pertaining to sexual immorality. It is connected to the word fornication.”
To me, MH is married erotica and is as acceptable as the Song of Solomon. No matter how racy-erotic-sexy etc. the MH stories have a different spirit about them vs. reading about illicit sex. The illicit sex stories or photos or videos are clearly porn. But these MH stories are marital erotica and therefore NOT pornography. In fact, they are inspirational & they teach that marital sex can be truly glorious! And MH stories educate other people who are married or hope to one day marry.
Some nude photos may be considered porn, but some are just celebrating the great beauty of the human form. I guess in part it is your perspective and your intent.
There are so many beautiful works of art that are of nudes. We went to The Louvre, and the nude paintings and sculptures were so beautiful to us! To me, some were not erotic but were just pure and beautiful celebrations of the human form. Some of the art felt rather erotic without being pornography.
Brother, I agree wholeheartedly! I'm a disable retired pastor, and now an artist. I have no trouble drawing or painting nudes (life models or commissions). That being said, I've had occasions where a model deliberately took obscene poses, and I had to withdraw.
There's a GREAT DEAL OF DIFFERENCE between artistic nudes, and obscenity or pornography!
Obviously, someone is trying to generate debate by posting this. Ultimately sanctified erotica is a matter of promoting sex from a biblical perspective, the joining of husband and wife into one flesh with a multifaceted mix of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. At times masturbation can be a blessing, especially for those lacking access to the real thing in marriage. If engaging with the Bible triggers such urges, so be it. Pornography involves sex acts without regard to the biblical view of marriage (fornication, adultery, threesomes, same-sex). Outside the context of marriage, true fulfillment is impossible. Pornography traps its addicts into seeking an increasingly intense neurochemical high to compensate for the missing spiritual fulfillment. One individual suggested that some things that could be erotica for one person (e.g., a nude picture) would be pornographic for another, depending on their overall view of sex. As Paul once said, to the pure, all things are pure.
I have been trying to develop a reasonable comment on erotic verses pornographic without much luck. The best I can come up with is it depends on the intent of the one looking at (or posting) the picture. I doubt if any woman looking at a young mother nursing a baby would be accused of indulging in pornography. On the other hand, a single teenage boy looking at a video of a young unmarried couple copulating would be put in the category of viewing pornography by most people. Unfortunately, most erotica/pornography falls in the gray area between these two extremes.
For instance, most of the YouTube instruction on massage has men massaging partially or completely naked women. If in an Anne and Ron story, Ron were seeking to learn how to massage Anne’s sore back, his internet searches might be consider looking at pornography depending on who is judging.
I would not propose everything we see is erotic art. Some of it is just too crude to be considered a gray area. Whether something is pornography depends on the attitude of the person seeing it. It is always dangerous to judge before we fully understand where someone is coming from.
The people that really care about this debate (and trust me, I used to years ago) are usually trying to draw this firm line in the sand and say that “erotica” is sanctified and beneficial and “pornography” is destructive and sinful. It’s just not that black and white… and the lines are (many times) very blurry. Even at MH, a beautiful topless woman is labeled as erotica… and that might be the replica of a photo from Playboy 25 years ago… which at the time was labeled as pornography. Definitions and lines change. Both E and P can be beneficial and/or harmful — so enjoy the stuff that’s beneficial. Avoid the stuff that isn’t.
For me, the difference between erotica and porn lies not in what I "like" (cuz I "like" a LOT of things that I wish I didn't) but in whether the people and actions that it describes or pictures match my understanding (imperfect and subjective, I know) of what would please God. There are two reasons for this: One, it makes me sad to know that I am taking pleasure in watching or reading about other people acting in ways that push them farther from the arms of the One who loves them most and best. Two, I believe that what we read and watch influences how we think. We become inured to and more accepting and defensive of actions that previously we knew to be harmful to our walk with our Lord. In other words, we conform to the thinking of the world we surround ourselves with, even electronically.
If I can read or watch something erotic and know that the couple involved is a man and wife lovingly meeting each other's needs and preferences, then it doesn't hurt my conscience. It isn't illicit sex, so I wouldn't call it porn. I can happily get turned on by it, rejoicing with them in their pleasure in each other, and be inspired to initiate similar fun activities with Rez. And I am not tempted to engage with one or both of them, so it doesn't cause me to stumble. The occasional enjoyment of this kind of erotica is wholesome and helpful *to me.*
If the erotic material portrays actions that hurt my conscience, whether because the people aren't husband and wife, the action isn't consensual or loving or both, then I consider that harmful. I would also classify it as pornography because the historical meaning of words does matter to me.
If the sex isn't illicit, it isn't porn in my mind. That doesn't mean it couldn't be harmful to the conscience of some. And it could distract from real sexual relations with one's spouse. It could become addictive, training the dopaminergic system to pursue vicarious and self-focused pleasure rather than to search/work for an authentic relationship. And because the only sites to access it besides this one (that I know of) juxtapose examples of non-porn erotica with disproportionately more pornography, it could "lead into temptation" to experiment with behaviors displeasing to our Creator.
Whether we call it erotica or porn, we each bear the responsibility of recognizing and evaluating the effects of the media we consume and removing from our lives (sometimes with assistance) those that cause us to stumble in our walk with our Savior.
There we have a difference in belief. I doubt acts displease God unless it’s done against the other persons will or causes harm.
Does killing someone displease God? Of course. Does watching a movie of killing someone displease him? Of course not.
God created sex so that we procreate and the species he created survives. It’s pleasurable, so we do it. He was disappointed when our actions did not have the possibility of creating a next generation while the earth was being populated. We have plenty of people now. Now sex is mainly for fun. He neither cares nor is upset when we have sex that has no possibility of creating a life as was once needed.
It's true that our beliefs differ. While I agree that God is not displeased with sex that isn't for the explicit purpose of procreation, I do not know of Biblical evidence that He ever was. But His directive to keep sex within marriage doesn't restrict either purpose. It does marry well with our purpose as image-bearers of a God who chooses faithfulness and unity. And when we fail to exemplify that quality before a world that doesn't know Him, we hurt both Him and them, whether we realize it or not.
You asked: "Does watching a movie of killing someone displease him?" I would say watching a movie that glorified murder would. But if it were portrayed as a crime, prosecuted and justice brought (or forgiveness, mercy, and healing found), it wouldn't. And if watching it caused a person to think more lightly of murder or even consider it themselves, they should eschew such material. Good analogy, Marge.
Amen and amen. Couldn't have put it better myself.
I’m with you CHL.
The Miriam Webster dictionary definition of "prornography" –
"the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2
: material (such as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3
: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction".
And from the same website:
"Pornography, which has been used in English since the middle of the 19th century, comes from the Greek pornographos (“writing about prostitutes”), and initially referred to visual or written matter designed to cause sexual arousal, a meaning that is still the most common one employed today."
Interesting that the word only entered the English language in the mid-1800's (the Victorian era) though such art has seemingly always existed. It wouldn't surprise me for most Victorians to find anything sexual to be obscene, but perhaps all the examples they had were?
One of the first uses is in the title of a pamphlet, circa 1829, decrying contemporary censorship of art and writing of a sexual nature. It was written by D.H. Lawrence of /Lady Chatterley's Lover/ fame. (Some of his works were censored into the 1960's.) A quote: "Without secrecy there would be no pornography. But if pornography is the result of sneaking secrecy, what is the result of pornography? What is the effect on the individual?" This might bear more research on my part….
I don’t believe the origins of the words or the acts have any relevance. They mean the same thing. One just has been painted with a more negative connotation. If it causes sexual arousal it’s porn/erotica. I’m not a fan in general but my husband sometimes shared a story or picture he thought I might enjoy. It certainly can make sex better or at least put someone in the mood for sex. Most of it is poorly done but so are many non porn movies. Certainly some categories are offensive to many people. But there is nothing inherently sinful about watching a person masterbate or two people having sex whether live or in video.
Are the couples in the stock sexy photos here married? Does it matter? Should it? No more than two characters in a Hollywood movie. I guess if you actually think sex is some kind of holy act done to praise Jesus you might come to the conclusion that it does. Clearly I think that is a flawed belief inspired by the same members of the early church that taught many of us that Eve tempting Adam caused the fall from grace, painting sex as dirty and evil.
Sex is an important part of keeping most couples happy. If erotica helps make it more enjoyable it’s a positive.
Interesting post, CHL. Thanks for it.
I do think for us to have any hope of communicating, actions need to be describable, and the words we use need to mean something real and specific. And further, the Bible, God's inspired Word to us uses words with specific meanings to give us what we need for faith and life.
Thus, "sex" means a lot of things, including the act, the meaning, the exclusivity of marriage, and yes, it is somehow wound up in Christ's love and devotion to His church. I don't know how, but that's no reason to reject it. If I do, I become the standard of my own faith, and not the Word. Dangerous.
Also, I don't think it's a flawed belief of the early church. In fact, it's a more contemporary inclusion in marriage theology than from the early church. Further, the Bible (not the early church) tells us clearly that Eve tempted Adam, and thus came mankind's fall from grace. This belief is not limited to the early church; it is very contemporary. Moreover, the "temptation" narrative and the fall from grace doctrine DO NOT paint sex as dirty and evil. That comes from elsewhere.
I do agree that sex is an important part of couples' happiness. I think it is so because that's how a loving God created us; with the capacity to give and receive sexual pleasure. It seems to me that is one of the philosophical underpinnings of MarriageHeat – If God gave us sex to be held uniquely between a man and a woman in marriage (He did), then how do we enjoy this most amazing blessing to the uttermost, without going "out of bounds".
The question of the hour for this posting is, if erotica helps make it more enjoyable, how do we understand it so that it’s a positive factor in our marriages, and not detrimental?
Seems pretty straightforward to me.
Hi Booty,
Our church gang has something interesting planned for the Oscar night Awards. We will be having our own Oscar Gala party around the pool and hot tub, with a fashion show. We all agreed to wear anything our spouses chose for us – no rules, anything goes. Not a costume party, more like a sexy and glamorous affair!
And we really don’t watch porn or read magazines together, but things are usually pretty hot just in our own skin.
Love you Boots;)
Most here agree the stories on MH are not porn because they involve married couples. Many actually involve one masturbating. Does it matter if the person masturbating is married? What if instead of a story it was a video? Same married couple doing the same acts? Still not porn? How about watching single women masturbating? Porn?
I admit my husband was an occasional user of porn and to answer the question sometimes we watched it together. It can be better than blue pills and can work on women.
Would I have nude magazines (difficult to believe anyone finds Playboy magazine is porn) on the coffee table? No. Because I know someone might be offended or get the wrong idea. Historically rich people had artists paint their wives nude and display the paintings. Some still have photos of their nude wife on their homes walls. I wouldn’t but don’t see any harm.
From an article I read years ago my guess would be between a third and half of married Christian couples have watched porn together. Might be more by now since most here share MH stories with their spouse. I’m guessing most people that think erotica videos are evil have never seen one. Or convinced by someone it’s wrong to enjoy them.
I'm a bit late here but first thoughts are that the condemnation of porneia cannot be used to condemn pornography because they are two different things. Porneia is an explicit act of fornication which appears to be used in connection with idolatry, specifically sleeping with prostitutes who themselves worshipped other deities through sex – a common issue in the ancient world. Pornography is the depiction of sex in all its forms, and erotica is the depiction of sex in all of its forms.
P.S. I'm with OldWhitebeard on the Mustang 😉
I am old enough that when I was single before marriage, porn was only available in magazines and adult movies theaters. As such, it wasn't easily available and I never developed any kind of addiction towards it. (I honestly consider myself lucky.) Anyway, I met my future wife, Allie, when we were both 17. I loved her from the start. However, my family moved several states away, and we grew apart over the next few years while I finished high school and college. I had my heart broken while in college, and shortly after graduation, I received a card from Allie congratulating me on graduating and going into the service. (I had to fulfill my ROTC obligations.) During these years, we wrote and spoke over the phone regularly. I knew she was the one for me. When I got out, we made plans to meet in person for the first time in 7 plus years.
When we met, she had that warm smile, gorgeous eyes and hair that I remembered so well. She had, however, changed a lot. As in, she had gained 100 pounds. It did surprise me as I wasn't expecting it. Her references to the "freshman 15" and "Remember, I'm kinda curvy", hadn't quite captured the changes. And here's the craziest part: I didn't freak out and run away. I had lived enough to recognize that there's more to a mate than how she looks in a bikini. We were only married 11 years before she was taken away from us (we had 4 children together) in a horrible car accident.
Single for the second time, I found porn was (and is) all around us. I initially stayed clear of it as I wanted to be a good example to my two boys. I have come to realize how it is damaging so many lives. I stay clear of it now because I don't want to experience that harm. I honestly believe that if I had been obsessed by porn when I was younger, I would have run away from the best woman (and in my eyes the most beautiful woman) I have ever known to this day.
I am so sorry to hear about your wife's car accident, brother. That had to have been so difficult. I applaud you for staying away from porn. We sound similar in age from your references about magazines and movies being the only way to get porn back then. Kudos to raising those young men to be godly young men too.
[Disclaimer: I’m not trying to be argumentative, nor am I trying to cause anyone to stumble. It’s just a discussion.]
I don’t really know the difference. I’ve struggled with trying to figure it out for years. For example, we read about each other’s sex lives on here. We share intimate details of our bodies, our spouses bodies, along with what were thinking and doing during sex. So, in my mind, what would be the difference between seeing it and reading about it? One could say the anonymity, and that would be true. One could also say that seeing it in person or digitally could cause stumbling or lust for another’s spouse. Perhaps that’s true. But isn’t it also true that there’s a difference between arousal and lust? If we say no, then we’re all guilty of lust by becoming aroused at these stories. So then, what would be the difference in becoming aroused from a story and becoming aroused from a picture or a video? I don’t know the answer. I don’t feel guilty at reading these stories, nor in writing them. So, where is the line exactly? I know it’s a hard question to answer, and none of us may be able to do so.
IDK why people are so hung up on “rules.” But when someone draws a line in the sand, they almost never include their activity or behavior on the “bad” side. So for some, they need to distinguish between reading MH and looking at visual erotica… because they don’t want to admit that written words could possibly be defined as “porn.” It’s this endless loop of self-preservation while still being able to look at “them” and thank God that I am not one of those. Kind of ridiculous if you ask me.