A Confession
I’ve described in some detail how my wife Mary has become multi-orgasmic in recent years. I’d strive to make each love-making session more enjoyable for her than the last. A bit of selfishness on my part? I believed if she experienced more and greater pleasure in making love, she would want it more—even to the point of initiating various sexual activities. So, get her to feel even better in our sexual activities, and I’d get to get more “activity.” This is where I could see some would view this as being selfish; I choose to believe it’s more of a a win-win situation.
There was much success in this. I’ve discovered the improved stamina she’s developed, enjoying orgasm after orgasm, often building in their intensity. I’ve been nothing but amazed at how many orgasms she can experience without asking for our activity to stop. Sadly, this is not a result of PIV intercourse. Rather it’s from the use of my fingers augmented by some sex toys.
I have learned that I get much enjoyment watching my love’s response to the attention given her. There are times I get so excited I almost cum. It’s a turn on listening to her building orgasms and watching her body movements and expressions, when she climaxes.
Here’s the confession part:
It’s hard for me not to cum soon after entering her wet and inviting love tunnel. I’ve been listening and watching her building up to and experiencing orgasms for a good 10-15 min. or more. I have to move very slowly to keep from exploding as I enter her. I attribute this to the excitement I get watching her response to my foreplay. And while I do enjoy the view, I would prefer to be able to last longer before ejaculating. I’d like to stay hard longer after I enter into that magical place inside her.
I’ve come up with another idea. In an earlier post, I mentioned Mary’s reluctance to touch her vagina or clit. I initially didn’t mind. I enjoyed watching her growing response to my touch. I’ve started asking her to apply lube to her external and internal pleasurable areas herself. This does slow my response to her building excitement. I’m busy kissing her mouth and neck, massaging, kissing and sucking her breasts. It’s a joy telling her how beautiful she looks as her excitement builds while she applies her lube.
She started doing this, and I often reminded her to be sure to get some lube inside her. I noticed she began rubbing herself to a quick orgasm, maybe even a few. To confirm this was happening, I’ve moved my hand down and felt her rubbing her clit. This is definitely progress, and I look forward to further developments in this area.
It also appears that I have greater stamina and last longer when engaging in early morning PIV activity. I used to prefer before-bedtime play as it ensures a deep restful sleep. I am learning the joy of early morning sexual enjoyment as I’m able to last longer.
Have any of you men experienced a growth in sexual areas after focusing on your wife’s orgasms? Do you, like me, have trouble lasting long after helping her cum? What have you found helps you hold off on ejaculating once you finally slip inside?
I do have a hard time once she has cum. Normally I either get her off by oral or she rides me reverse cowgirl with her vibrator going. I feel and watch her spasm and it drives me wild. I have her ride me slowly and when I am close we roll over and do it missionary until I let loose. If I don’t want to cum so quickly I stay buried in her deep and don’t move in and out as much. I kind of let her ride it without the in and out motion. Kind of back and forth some. It doesn’t get her going again because she is too sensitive after she cums. It just feels good being inside that warm wet tunnel. Like my dick is home where it belongs. Then when I want to go I start moving in and out. Hope that makes sense.
Thanks for the reply, jwdmc. Your response does make sense to me.. I too ask Mary to slow down / stop moving, soon after I enter her..until I can "calm down " a bit. I encourage her to not rock or thrust, but to tighten her pc muscles instead. This helps. I will usually apply some gentle massage to her clit, as she remains motionless, ( or as close to motionless as she can )
I have encouraged her to try to " edge", let her buildup close to reaching orgasm, & stop. Her response to this is i " NO !.. I can't "… meaning she doesn't want to, she wants an orgasm..now!
Who am I to argue about this ? She has learned that ignoring the sensation of, "I'm too sensitive to keep going" and pushing on with continued activity , can lead to even quicker, & stronger subsequent orgasms… regardless of where I am in the action. I can come, and she continues to rock or hump, until she's ready to stop, or has finished her orgasm..even if I've become soft.Doesn't seem to matter in her finishing.
I have always had trouble lasting long, before or after her orgasms. There have many times, where her orgasm alone while I’m giving her oral has made me cum, with no touching on me whatsoever! I’m that enthusiastic about her orgasms! Also, there are times, when after I make her cum with oral, I’ll start cumming while trying to slip myself inside her. I have not been able to improve how long I can last.
What I have learned, is I can cum more than once! I discovered this after making her cum after I already had! Her orgasm will make me hard and horny again, and we can keep going. Multiples have worked for both of us!
Well Tulsa, thanks for sharing your experience. I can't say I've ever had an orgasm from engaging in foreplay , but I have felt close..too close at times, and that was the reason for my post. I wondered if this was others experience., if it happened to others as well. Perhaps because males are such visual beings, watching our mates getting excited, and observing their response to our attempts at providing pleasure is such a turn on for us, our excitement builds. Orgasms may build up in the body, in it's sexual parts, but our brains are where orgasms are realized. In younger years, I was able to experience more than one orgasm / ejaculation, but so far, those days seem to be past. Despite this, I haven't felt my desire for my Mary decline, at all..Thank God, for all he provides for us.
I'm not sure I can even enter my wife after she has come. She is a one-and-done girl. She is usually too sensitive after one orgasm to continue. But PIV is so new to us, with my wife having recently overcome vaginismus. For the first time in our lives, we are having pain-free and discomfort free intercourse. I don't last as long as I used to, even though I'm only 46. My wife is 51 and I feel like she is speeding ahead of me sexually! I need to do work to keep up with her! You are 70 and still having amazing sex. That is an inspiration! How old is your wife, if you don't mind me asking?
Thanks daisy1974 , for sharing your experience. I'm aware of vaginismus., having an old girlfriend in my past with that condition. Congratulations if you & your mate have made advancement in getting past it, as it's a difficult challenge to face. As your sexual relationship continues to improve ( if you both are desiring improvement, I believe it will) you may find it change, greatly.! My Mary was around your wife's age when she retired, it was around that time that we made a decision to try and improve our sexual relationship, i.e.start having better sex. I am blessed to report that my expectations for improvement have been greatly exceeded.. I wish the same for you..( and my wife is a little more than 1 yr. younger than I.)
Thanks OT. This story might as well be my own. I take huge pleasure in giving her as many orgasms as I am able, rarely less than 2, often 3 or 4, and I love to hear her scream, particularly with her gorgeous pussy in my mouth. But I too cannot, even after 30 years, last long at all once I slide into her. We do come together sometimes, but it's not uncommon me to come alone. She says she is quite happy with this, and I know she loves to watch\ feel me orgasm, but I would love to last longer. You're not alone!
" You're not alone!".. Thanks for saying that Britbloke. It is little consolation that all that have responded experience a similar "disappointment"..that we're not able to last as long as we'd like. I tell myself, not to focus on this as a disappointment, as I know too many men that have not been able to even stay around, as long as I have, or have been able to function (sexually) as well as I've been blessed. I do Thank God for all the gifts and abilities he has given me, daily. I know I'm blessed!
Hi oldtimer,
It’s wonderful that you and your wife are still developing your sexual relationship. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading, KingdomMan, and letting me know that you are.
This has always been my favorite thing to do. I always want her to cum first. If that happens through oral, then she will often flip over because her clit becomes too sensitive. If I enter from behind, she can control how much I hit that area. At that point, she is wanting me finish, but then starts asking to do it again.
Face to face intercourse works for her too. I need only stay deep inside her and grind rather than thrust. She often comes that way and prefers it actually. She will often adjust her hips and legs a bit and encourage thrusting afterwards.
.." At that point, she is wanting me finish, but then starts asking to do it again…"
Isn't that the greatest thing she can say ? You know you're making her happy.
Staying deep, avoiding thrusting only works well until she decides she wants to thrust.
.then all my control is lost.
Interesting post and interesting responses. My wife n I can really relate .
Early on in our marriage my wife,Melody, was usually having at least two orgasms per sex session. (sometimes 3-4 or 5) Then five years ago health issues led to usually (but not always) one n done for several years. Then out of the blue lately she’s having two orgasms practically every time we make love.
I have always been multiorgasmic so early in our marriage I could have several climaxes in one long sex session. Now I usually have one orgasm in my wife’s pussy. Then when I orally love on her nipples and she buzzes her clit with one of her vibrators she’ll nearly always come. In fact lately she’ll come twice.- sometimes in foreplay and then post intercourse. And sometimes twice after I’ve filled her pussy.
We have a sex position where I lay on my side with her on her back. Our bodies are at right angles. She can use her vibe as I thrust into her seeet pussy.
Truth is that we used to almost always come simultaneously by doing this. Now my wife gets going by the foreplay n fucking then needs nipple sucking to climax. We too now usually only have intercourse for a fairly short time. But this works for my terrible heart. Long drawn out sexual intercourse leads to me feeling like I’m gonna die right after I come. Melody is fine with this shorter intercourse time. It’s kind of sexy to us that I scoop cum from her pussy and rub it on her titties before I lick n suck it off. Again, this is when she almost always comes.
She will suck on MY nipples at the end of a lovemaking session and I will pump to a second orgasm – often with a vibrating stroker. There have been times when doing this turns he on so much that I return to her tits and she buzzes to another orgasm.
I know I’m kind of rambling but my point is that shorter intercourse time is just how we roll now. Melody is fine with it and so am I. Using vibrstors is nothing to feel bad about. We don’t leave home without at least 2. The vibrators enhance & enrich our dex life! We are 70+ and 60+ with huge health issues so we are just happy we are still making love. AND we keep discovering new things to do!
LovingMan, your post gets to the heart of the matter.. you learn what works between you and your mate, and find joy, & happiness in the process. In school , I was taught the only constant is change..(and we do.) Years pass,our bodies change, health issues arise, we learn to adapt, to continue, making the best
of what God has in store for us. Congratulations on discovering ( & continuing to discover) what brings you both blessings of joy.
This is a fun conversation for sure. My first thought is that I think all you men that are focused on your wife cuming first are to be commended. I think that as much as us men love sex, if we are able to set aside our desires and focus on our brides is a beautiful sign of our love for them. When my wife is able to bring me to a quick orgasm it brings her great satisfaction. My quick release is telling her how much she pleases me, how good she is, and this brings her great joy. Of course we all have this desire to last longer, and this can be something that we should have a lot of fun working on. Learning to prolong our orgasm, I believe we call it edging, can be a lot of fun. Experiment and try different things. As men we are very visual, what would it be like if we put on a blindfold. For me personally it is the sounds and words that come out of my wife’s mouth that cause me to loose control. What would happen if we put in ear plugs? Sure these two examples may take some of the fun out of it, but would create fun in new ways. Our love lives are a journey, embrace it.
As my Anne is a one and done girl and we practice ‘she cums first,’ the challenge to hold off cumming has never been an issue for me. In our younger days we often strove to cum together and we were masters at doing so – just thinking about it makes me horny! As we aged, we enjoyed me focusing on her ramp up to her O and then she’d focus on me. Again, we became masters of making each other cum. Now the challenge is to cum every time! It just doesn’t always happen for her or for me. That’s why we encourage each other not to let a horny moment pass by masturbating when the mood strikes us – often solo or watching and helping each other.
Sorry that I can’t offer any tips or tricks on not cumming too fast.
Thanks for your comments, Mokey. You did offer something that I'm taking into consideration for future exploration.
The idea of ME using a blindfold , or ear plugs, or both,while engaged in sexual interaction with my wife.
I'd mentioned in an earlier post, how Mary used a blindfold during our "training sessions", to block out external events that would distract her from focusing on her pleasurable feelings during foreplay. That, and my expressed encouragement to focus only on what her body was feeling, assisted her into intensifying her response to the foreplay provided. Her orgasms increased in intensity and duration when the blindfold & encouragement were provided.
Not ignoring the importance of visual and auditory input in building sexual tension, just the opposite.
To mute or tone down my response to her building excitement, as a way of slowing my response.
Something I will be considering…how to apply this "theory".
I'll add , I've got a few posts written, awaiting their post dates (in April) in which I consider a new form of physical interaction
I'm considering trying, that others may have already tried, or might find of interest.