A Wish of Mine, a Prayer Whispered
Hi to everyone here! I wanted to share this piece that I wrote some time ago. It didn’t quite hit the 300-word minimum at first (thank you to the moderators for the correction on that), so here is a foreword of sorts.
I’m MrPaxMan. Pax = peace, and relates to the meaning of my surname. I turned 26 this August, and I am currently studying for a Bachelors degree in Pharmacy during the day, and working night shifts to make ends meet.
I grew up in a charismatic church environment, and experienced both some bad and very good things. Now I find myself seeking Jesus above all else, although I fail miserably at it most days.
I also feel like I should mention I love motorcycles. Are there any Yamaha FJR1300 riders on here?
Anyhow, here is the intro to the free verse that I wish to share with all of you.
I have been experiencing a lot of loneliness lately, which I think drove me to share what I wrote. I am a very private person, but I feel like that is part of the reason why I feel isolated. So here I am sharing intimate thoughts with a site of some of the most welcoming strangers I have encountered on the internet.
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To my Wife
I can only imagine the heat of your body inviting mine. I would love to tease you beyond reason, where desire carries us both through every season.
I want to be one with you and dress your naked body with many kisses. I want to bury my face between your breasts, lick, bite and kiss.
I want to feel your excited heartbeat on my lips.
I want you to know that you are the only one who gets this side of me. I want to please you deeply and adore every sound you make.
I want you to know how much I love you. I want your soft voice and panted breath in my ears, whispering sweet nothings as our ecstasy grows.
I want to be lost in your eyes, heart and soul for hours on end. No, forever.
I want to give to only you what others seem to freely lend.
I wish we’d already met. How can I miss someone who I don’t know actually exists?
I want to dance with you, laugh and cry. I want to build life with you and be blessed in God’s eyes.
I burn with a desire for you that challenges me daily. God, I pray for the strength and guidance to wait patiently.
Until we meet one day, love from yours truly.
Amen.
Welcome to the site MrPaxMan ,& thanks for posting.
I'm an old, retired h/c professional that Loves the Lord, a long time Christian trying to live a life
that brings honor & glory to God. You are young, and have a long life ahead of you, God willing.
He has a plan for you, if you follow His will in your life.
I'm getting old (er) and feel I'll be around as long as I'm fulfilling the purpose God has for my life.
As a 50 yr. + motorcyclist riding, all kinds of m/c's ( on & off-road) I've experienced Gods protection
more times than one could count. Still own too many m/c's, & ride them, weather permitting.
My last m/c purchase was a year ago, for a '08 FJR 1300, as an update for my trusty '95 ST1100 ,
That I've ridden the past 20 +yrs, so there's at least one FJR rider here.
Awesome to hear Oldtimer and thank you for the warm welcome.
I will be graduating at the end of this year and I'm planning to take a 9day celebratory roadtrip with the FJR. Probably a coast to coast trip here in South Africa.
I hope your FJR treats you well just like mine does.
Stay safe out there!
Loved the poem. I remember feeling the same way. Keep active in the dating – even though it can be disappointing often. I suspect that your future wife is out there yearning to find and have you.
That yearning is God-given. You are SUPPOSED to be feeling that way. Growing numb to that yearning is not a good thing. I think we need to not let ourselves get too comfortable with loneliness- although through no fault of their own, some people will never marry. I suspect that you WILL marry. You are preparing for a career where you can support your family and that’s important. Being a responsible man is a big draw to a good woman.
I grew up riding motorcycles so I understand the draw.
Hi LovingMan, thanks for the reply.
Yeah I've found any form of dating quite frustrating.
I've always had to be the responsible one in my family, even since childhood, and that has left me feeling isolated from my peers as they do things that I find to be immature and irresponsible.
As a result I'm not quite keen to "vry in die bondel"- an Afrikaans metaphor for romantic mingling- with people I feel no connection or possibility for a connection if that makes sense.
I might just be overthinking what it means to date…
Oh my, this moved me deeply! You are so not alone in these yearnings! Bless the Lord that He knows our most intimate desires and cares about them! Very beautiful words, MrPaxMan.
Tehillim (Psa) 103:10 CJB
[10] He has not treated us as our sins deserve or paid us back for our offenses,
Hi LLL, I'm happy to read you found the post moving, as your writing has always given me solace in times of negativity towards relationships.
I've read the verse above and managed to understand something about my yearning to be intimate(both physically and emotionally).
Loving and understanding one's wife has so many intricate complexities that it would not be possible to properly do so unless one seeks God first.
Intimacy in of itself will not be enough to sustain any marriage, but rather a deep and honest pursuit of God will.
It's only His Love, undeserved by us, that causes us to ache; to be better, to long and belong to Him.
I gotta add that it is best to be good friends with your future spouse first. Then the passion will grow out of the friendship. Or/& the passion will be anchored by your friendship. And MH teaches us that marriage can be an amazing passionate experience! Don’t fall for the media’s & Satan’s lies that illicit non-committed sex is the best. It still feels physically nice but it leaves you feeling empty and lonely. Whereas marital sex leaves you bonded and connected physically, emotionally, n spiritually.
By the way, we all sin in various ways and that is why God provides us repentance through His Son, Jesus Christ’s atonement.
❤️
I wholeheartedly agree!
It's important for me that if/when God blesses me with such a relationship that I strive to be the best friend, husband to my wife & father to our children I could possibly be.