Question about Hardness
Greetings, friends!
Something has been puzzling me. Does a man have to have an erection to have intercourse? When I think of cramming something hard into my vagina, it strikes me as very uncomfortable. Though I haven’t yet tried a dildo, I have inserted tampons and once stuck a marker up there, and none of that is very enjoyable.
I explained in an earlier post that, for me, masturbating is most pleasurable when I grind face down on a towel, so the entire vulva is stimulated and everything gets wet and warm. And if I ever get married, I really want to try grinding on my husband’s cock while it’s soft. Would that hurt him? Do people do that? It just seems like it would feel more flexible and…well, squishy.
I’m laughing as I write this because I must sound really naive! Anyhow, I just want to learn more. Do any of you men find enjoyment in “soft” sex? Thank you for putting up with my inexperience!
If a man doesn’t have an erection, it would be very difficult to have intercourse. Keep in mind, a man’s penis is not hard plastic (unlike a marker) and was designed by God to go into a female’s vagina. Though erect (or stiff), it is not hard. That said, lubrication (whether natural or otherwise) is still usually required for a pleasurable experience.
Grinding on your husband’s soft cock may or may not be pleasureable…that would largely depend on his preference. Grinding on his balls would be painful. Perhaps a better proposition would be to grind on the underbelly of his erect cock while on top of him.
I love that you are curious, and I know whoever you do marry will be a lucky guy. First, yes, a penis needs to be fairly erect for a man to insert it into your vagina. Think of trying to push marshmallows into a piggy bank. Penises in their non-aroused state can be supper soft like well cooked spaghetti. There is an infinite scale of hardness between that state and "rock hard." You mention you thought a very hard one would feel uncomfortable, but it seems that's exactly how my wife wants it to be. A hard, or erect penis, doesn't feel like a piece of wood, rather a very stiff piece rubber with a soft, pliable skin covering it.
My wife and I discussed this and she thinks maybe you could skip getting a dildo and wait for the night when you get an actual penis. You would probably do well in getting yourself a vibrator. She likes using just a simple wand vibrator.
As for grinding on it from soft to hard, I believe you both will enjoy that immensely. She likes to put it in her mouth while its soft and feel it grow hard as she caresses it with her lips and tongue.
to push marshmallows into a piggy bank. .??
Euphemism?
Nothing wrong with using a dildo until you can have the real thing.
?Marshmallows in a piggy bank!!?
I agree with all above, but let me add that he doesn't have to have an erection to have an orgasm. (I only learned this recently through experience!) But under most conditions, especially early on in life, he will have one almost of the time that he's around you. ?
And yes, grinding (or dry humping as we called it when doing it with clothes on) can bring one or both of you to climax.
Good Question. It works better if hard. It won't hurt because the vagina is designed for it.
Don't worry about sounding naive! We were all naive at one point! The hardness of a penis is not something to fear. As Joy & Art aptly described it above, it is more like hard rubber than hard "rock." Even when fully erect, the head is still kind of soft which makes penetration a little easier. This is why dildos are made of rubbery material. Sex with a soft penis isn't really a thing unless you count foreplay. Not only is an erection usually a result of man's arousal, it is also when his penis becomes sexually sensitive. When it is soft, it isn't very stimulating for either of you. You mentioned that you dry hump a rolled up towel, which is fun because it has less give than say a very soft pillow. The same is more or less true for a penis, not to mention the fact that you probably couldn't hump your husband's soft penis for long without him getting hard! And finally, the erection will help him to penetrate you. Try sliding a finger into your vagina. You don't have to go too far to find that it is kind of tight and it would be difficult to try and stuff something with the consistency of overcooked pasta (like a soft penis!) In there! Don't be afraid of your future husband 's penis. My wife has told me that the first few times did hurt, but they were still very pleasurable and after few times sex was no longer painful!
Well, interesting questions. No erection means sexual intercourse is probably impossible. However sex IS possible with a less hard erection. So, younger men tend to have a harder erection than when they are older. That being said, I frequently am not as hard as I was 30 years ago when we first got married, but we are still having amazing sex!
Thank you all for these answers! It was something I'd really been curious about. Now I'm looking forward even more to the day (if it's in God's plan) when I can at last experience this with my man.
Grinding on my husband on the rare occasion he is not hard is very enjoyable. I especialy enjoy it when I am so excited and wet and my smooth pussy slides over his cock, working around on his fat soft head. Sometimes I'll just kepp grinding and sliding on him an he does become big and hard. But when you call a man's cock hard, it doesn't mean like a piece of steel that doesn't have any give. It gets beautifuly firm, yet still squeezable and bendable at the base, his skin can still be slid up and down his cock on most occasions, sometimes he does get larger than normal, and his skin will stretch tighter. But it's a beautiful thing. You most likely experience pain due to your lack of experience. Most all women feel pain when they first start having penitration. You will stretch and soften with more use. And on another note: A man can penetrate a woman if he is not hard. It just takes some work to hold and squeeze it to slide it in. Sometimes, when I'm wet enough, I can slide my husband partly inside while he is limp. He will either cum really fast or he swells inside me. I love feeling him grow hard inside me, an amazing feeling. They also make soft vaginal dialators that start out small in diameter and get thicker, they could help you. But don't beat yourself up. Nothing is better than trying new things and not being affraid. Sex is not to be feared, embrace it fully.
Seems unlikely a soft cock penetrates. But it can rub against which might bring enough pleasure. I know during my husbands illness the meds kept him from staying hard but he could get hard in my mouth. Kind of exciting sucking a soft cock to at least half staff. We tried with limited success to have him enter my pussy before he went soft again.
When my wife Patty and I were first married she was a bit reluctant to accept my full penis penetration so she decided to become a master cocksucker and ride me just after bringing me to full orgasm. While I was spent and soft she would intensely grind on me and achieve a very intense orgasm.
No. Grinding on a flaccid penis will not hurt it. Penetration will not hurt after some practice and allowing yourself to get good and wet and horny.
Then just have your man slowly enter you until he is all the way in. At that point you can grind on him all you want when he is hard.