MH Poll – What Stops You From Sharing MarriageHeat.com with Others
This poll focuses on the willingness of Christians to share sex-positive marriage websites like MarriageHeat.com. Tens of thousands of married Christians have discovered MarriageHeat.com. This poll seeks to understand the potential barriers Christians might face when considering sharing a site like this with others. You may select one or two answers.
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Poll Question: Does Your Faith Influence Your Sexual Intimacy? You are allowed to select two answers. Thanks for your participation.
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Have you filled out the MH Demographic Poll?
We are particularly interested in understanding the diverse backgrounds of our MarriageHeat community members, especially as it relates to the Christian demographic present here. Please take a moment to share your Christian or Christian-involved demographic identity. Your response is anonymous.
You may select up to two options that best describe you.
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The words minister and ministry have a lot of varying definitions. Can you clarify please? When you say minister, are you referring to an ordained teacher? Is it specific to a church? If someone was the director of a homeless shelter, are they a full time minister? It’s confusing because most people who are not pastors don’t call themselves “ministers” even though they may be leading various ministries.
A minister could be ordained or not ordained for the purposes of the poll. In this case, the question pertains to their level of involvement in some form of Christian ministry, whether within a church or within the community. Thank you for seeking clarification.
My fear of being identified or loss of my anonymity.
I enjoy the anonymity, which keeps me from sharing with friends. I wouldn't go so far as to say I fear what others might think.
The biggest problem with sharing MH is that I suspect the nudity would probably turn away the majority of Christians, who have rightly been warned of the dangers and depravity of pornography. Granted, what is shown here on MH isn't exactly the same as most porn. While I recognize the inherent beauty and goodness of the nude human form, as God's creation, I also think there are potential dangers to displaying it like this. My personal feeling is that viewing and appreciating nudity like that displayed on MH may not be inherently wrong, but making it so readily available, and disconnected from relationship, covenant and intimacy, cheapens its beauty. (It's frustratingly difficult for me to speak with any certainty on this issue though. I've considered this a decent amount and have not come to a clear, biblically-based conclusion on the issue.) Maybe some people can handle this kind of nudity in a healthy way, but my personal opinion is that it's an unnecessary danger. I think stories can be illustrated and enhanced just fine by beautiful and sensual pictures without explicit nudity.
Without the nudity, there would still be problems sharing MH with other Christians simply because it's erotic content, and much of the church has still not embraced married sexuality as fully and joyfully as I believe God wants us to. But at least without the nudity, there would be fewer barriers to the pro-married-sex content of MH that has been such a benefit to me and so many other single and married people!
On a separate note, I'd recommend splitting each of these polls into a separate post if at all possible. As more polls are released each week, the comments on a combined post like this are going to be about multiple topics, which will be hard to follow, and pretty soon it will be hard to read the polls because there are so many different questions and answers clumped together. Separating them would keep them much more organized.
First of all, thank you for maintaining this website. I know it takes a lot of work, and I'm sure there are many days that the income you receive via advertisements or sponsored links does not outweigh the effort you have to give to keep it running. I've found many wonderful writings here that have inspired my sexuality and expanded the boundaries of what I previously believed. It has encouraged me to keep dreaming and stop settling in my sexuality and marriage.
With that said, I do believe some of the pictures go too far. Most of them are good and even add to the story, but I believe the photos of open nudity just go too far. The recent pictures attached to the "Office Rendezvous" and "Chocolate Cream Boobies" stories are too graphic for anyone trying to maintain a Christ-Like heart and mind. If I shared this website with my spouse those stories would immediately be viewed as "pornographic" or as "nudity." I believe most Christians would agree with this. I know some on this website are arguing that watching videos of sex is permissible, but I would argue otherwise. We should be striving like Job to "make a covenant with our eyes to not look lustfully at a woman (or a man)" (Job 31:1). When we do, we've already committed adultery with the person in our heart. Jesus wants us to keep our eyes on our spouses, and pictures like these make it tempting to desire others rather than the person we've committed to cherish. We're called to be different from the world and encourage Godly monogamy. I don't see how we can look at these pictures that show full exposure and not lust?
On the other hand, I believe the photos that don't display full nudity are acceptable. To see a couple smiling and holding one another in an erotic position doesn't move my mind towards lusting after them. To see a couple embracing with much of their body covered up doesn't make me imagine having sex with one of them. Many times I think it adds to the story. I know there is gray area with what I'm saying, but I think open nudity is different from implied nudity, and I think most people know the difference.
Once again, thank you for running this site and posting stories each day. I pray that God will be honored by whatever you decide. To God be the Glory. In Christ. Psalm 139
Psalm 139 did an excellent job eloquently expressing what I myself feel, from gratitude over maintaining this site and promoting healthy biblical sexuality, to concern over the nudity in the images. I understand that by personal choice any of us can disable the images (except in my browser apparently), but the choice to include some pics that go beyond good taste do have the consequence of limiting your audience. Of course there are cultural things in there as well, as some parts of the world that aren't the USA are completely fine with female nipples, etc. That said I have seen multiple images that repeat in closely-related (discussion) posts so understand how difficult it must be to find unique images for new posts every single day. So however you choose to run your site, ultimately I appreciate you guys being here. Keep going forward!
For me, it’s just the anonymity. I’m certain that I know people on here, but we don’t know each other’s usernames and we don’t discuss it. Not because I’m uncomfortable with the content, or discussing sex in general, but others are.
Psalm139 – having spent time in Africa, I'm not as uncomfortable with the recent pictures attached to the "Office Rendezvous" and "Chocolate Cream Boobies" stories. I guess it is just a matter of perspective.
This is really on the contributors (and I would like to contribute more if I ever get around to writing stories myself), but if I would hesitate in recommending this site, it's because most of the stories are idealized and formulaic. I would like to see more stories about people with struggles with their sex life, and how they overcame them.
I am not confortable talking about my sex life with others in person so I would not share this site. Especially, if someone figured out which posts are mind. My wife doesn't know about this place. It's a place to escape and think about her, doing her, or what I would like to do to her. It's a place also to contemplate what NOT to do to her.
All of my lust and love is directed at her. After years of marriage, she seems to turn me on more than ever.
More than anything, the negative comments on the few (three) stories I've shared, all true stories. It isn't that I've had more than a small handful of those, but I don't come on here for advice, or at any rate haven't so far. And unsolicited advice is an instant turnoff for me.
I come here to identify shared experiences and discover what tastes we may have in common, and in that sense have found what I'm looking for. It is good to share, and be honest.
Discretion, and respect for my wife, also makes me pause before sharing more than I do.
I do echo Psalm 139 and others in thanking you for maintaining this site. Having an outlet, even an occasional, virtual one to safely share my experience with others, is a good thing, not a bad thing.
I do recommend MH anonymously but rather family and friends do not recognize my comments as one did. I am so interested in the picture of the attractive woman and amazing cucumber.