The Difference (L)
(L) – This story contains strong language.
I’d like to write about the difference between wanting to be made love to, and wanting to be fucked.
What do you think? Is there a difference?
I want tenderness, acceptance, recognition, and physical affection that is reassuring and comforting. I want to fall gently asleep after a delicious slow orgasm, with Tom next to me. I want to reach over and feel his body, his warmth, and know he will always be there. I want to literally make the love we have for each other into something tangible, something I can touch, feel, wrapped around me like a warm blanket. Like a stroll together through woods, filtered light, a path well-worn, holding hands, talking, not talking, on a peaceful afternoon.
But sometimes I also want to be desired, without dilution or apology, fueling that raw intensity of feeling, urgent, needy. The energy, the storm, the re-awakening to life and its possibilities. The first orgasm that demands another and another, like a swing, each one higher, ’til it ends in quiet amazement at what just happened.
Making Love
I lie naked beside him, and run my fingers gently down his sides, caressing his soft cock until it stirs, wanting more. He whimpers softly. I cup his balls, stroke his hardening shaft with a slow rhythm. I take him in my mouth, lick the head and shaft, suck, squeeze him to his full length, then straddle him, slowly sliding my wet slit up and down the underside of his cock, his hips moving gently to my rhythm.
I insert the head of his cock into my warm wet entrance, a door opening for him, a welcome home.
I’ve missed this, craved it, dreamt about it. I close my eyes and rock back and forth on his cock, until his thrusts take over. I fall forward on him, breasts to chest, feeling his heart beating against mine, his hands on my hips, my butt, clutching, moving me now, growing inside me. I can feel his urgency, hear him groan with pleasure and release, no words. Words fail anyway.
This is making love. But it’s not fucking.
Fucking
Oh I remember fucking. Fucking is dirty. Fucking is spontaneous. Fucking is fun. Fucking is energy, desiring, being desired. Fucking is joy. Fucking reminds you of how good it is to be alive.
Making love is poetry, ballet. Fucking is dancing at a sweaty rock concert, singing along as loud as you can.
After fucking – really fucking – your hair is a mess. Your mascara has run. Your negligee is on sideways. One boob is hanging out. Your pussy is dripping with sex. The sheets are tangled or on the floor. The room smells of spice and sperm, of possibility and promise. And all you want is more. Your panties are missing. Where did they go? How do panties just up and vanish? Oh wait, there they are.
Warning: if you really got fucked, your legs will be wobbly and your pussy will be a bit sore. So be careful when you jump out of bed.
After really fucking, he may be a bit surprised at you. He won’t look at you in quite the same way. Heck, he won’t stop looking at you. You aren’t just the good mom, the good wife, the amateur who doesn’t know how to rock her husband’s world. You may even surprise yourself.
You jump in the shower, alone or together. If you fucked, he’ll join you. Sometimes showering together is good, because it can lead to more sex. (But dry off and jump back in bed. Shower foreplay is fun, but shower sex is a challenge.)
Yes, dinner still has to get on the table, kids still have to be picked up from school. There are play practices and ball games and dentist appointments. But it’s okay to call time out on this now and then. The train doesn’t run if the fire goes out.
After fucking, it’s nice to know that you still got it. You will spend the next day (or the rest of your day) smiling to yourself because the people that you interact with – at work, school, church, grocery store, book club – won’t know what you have been doing. The intuitive ones – a close friend perhaps – will figure it out.
“Anne, I don’t mean to pry, but did you get fucked last night?” All you need to do is smile.
After 40 years of marriage ups, downs, and plateaus, I’ve learned that it’s not how you look, but how you act. Great sex is between the ears. It is a gift from God that gives back more. The sooner you learn that, the happier you will be. Am I right? Please share.
Love, Anne
@NaughtyWife64 I love that you, as a woman understand and posted this topic. There’s definitely a difference between the two. If I had to wager, I’d say more women would say that want tender sex, and more men would say they want to fuck.
This is a topic I’ve been working on teaching my wife now that we’re finally able to have sex. She says she wants emotional connection and slow sex. Trying to be a good husband, I listen to her input and try to meet her requests, however, I’ve noticed that her reactions don’t match her words.
Slow tender loving. We do missionary for that. I can wrap her in my arms, kiss and caress her and slowly grind our bodies together making slow movements with my penis in her vagina. I do love it…I just love sex with her in any form. I’m trying to get her more comfortable trying more positions for this, like cowgirl or lotus. She doesn’t respond as much physically, but it sure is romantic.
Fucking. Quite frankly, she loves getting fucked based on how she physically responds. Doggy style is probably her favorite. My favorite is edge of the bed missionary. In either of these positions, she responds positively to the deepest hardest pounding that I can give her. The slapping of skin on skin, the panting, the moans, the expletives, the thickness and smell of sex in the air. Legs trembling. Overwhelming her composure and forcing her orgasm. Fucking is sweaty, loud and fun!
It’s true, you carry a different aura when you’ve been fucked. Your confidence is boosted. You look at each other more desirously. You can’t wait to do it again.
I saw recently on a Facebook Christian Sex Advice group that a new wife posted asking if it’s okay for a husband to lust after his wife. I thought “your sex life is going to be boring if you don’t.” You should love and lust after your spouse. Desire is normal and God given. Younger and newly married couples should make love, but they should also experience fucking or getting fucked….it’ll turn your marriage bed up to 10.
Great story! There definitely is a difference! I haven't been made love to or ( clears throat) fucked since my late husband Ben. Probably have cobwebs on my pussy! Probably forgot how 🤔! Just kidding 😂. Stay horny sweetheart!
MamaGG,
I have not been laid in 16 years, but only divorced for six years.
Do the math….
(So, please feel free to post a new story, because your stories always get me off.) 😉
To me, this is more of a timing issue; With Jim on the road frequently, I am in the masturbation mod frequently. I guess my drive is SO strong because of the ultra high quality of sex we share together. Seriously, we are REALLY intent on pleasing each other to the point where I know exactly when to insert one or two fingers in his ass while sucking his cock sloppy and deep. And in turn, he knows my body signals well – while eating my pussy he knows just when to play with my ass and nibble at my clit until I'm in a screaming orgasm.
So, to answer your question, NW64, his first night back home is all about serious, fast and hard fucking … the following morning can be all about making love to sore and still aching body parts from the night before….
Oooooh, we were hoping to hear from you! One of the best sex positive voices on this website!
This is so true CP..its all about signals.
PS to MH … I still see NO movement on my story submission…..
I'll take a look. For flexibility in scheduling, most stories don't get scheduled until less than a month before their publication date. But I'll see if there's a way we can give your story at least an estimated date that you can see in the system. –PP
I certainly agree there's a difference! I think a mix of both is good for everyone, but the exact mix will be different for each couple.
As Djm mentioned, I think I agree that gender stereotypes tend toward women preferring tender "lovemaking" and men preferring more rambunctious "fucking", but both types are good for both sexes at different times!
I think I'm a little different than the stereotype in that I'm a man who prefers the tender lovemaking more often. At least, as far as I can tell, because as a single man and a virgin, I don't have real experience with either yet! But as I fantasize and masturbate, I find different ways I enjoy such dynamics. Sometimes I like to imagine it slow and tender all the way through. Sometimes I like to imagine starting off very slow and tender, and slowly ramping up into a firmer, frenzied fucking until our bodies are slapping together! But very rarely do I like to start fast and hard and keep it that way the whole time.
Although the thought of the occasional quickie fuck with my future wife is also very, very hot. Even if we find a nice routine of slower lovemaking and building up over the course of an encounter, I do think it would be fun for both of us if I took her by surprise, smothered her in kisses, and fucked the daylights out of her as soon as she was wet enough. I'll have to keep that in mind for the future! And in the other direction, I know for sure I'd feel so loved and desired if she worked herself up and got so horny she couldn't wait, then just found me in the house and kissed me, pulled me to bed (or the couch), stripped me, straddled me, and fucked me until she came on me and begged for me to do the same! What I wouldn't give for the love of my life to do that!
Oh man, you echo my sentiments exactly! Both modes – making love and fucking – are beautiful and necessary. My moods can vary a lot. Sometimes I masturbate with hot wild sex in mind, being roughly claimed by my future husband and filled by him; other times I have such a tender feeling and imagine slow, gentle lovemaking in bed with him. I can't wait to experience both, and everything in between. Hee hee I definitely fantasize about jumping my future husband and ravishing him because I'm so overcome with need for him!
Always love your posts NW64. I love your style. A willingness to discuss things that may be hard to discuss, but with a casual, easy way about you that is welcoming & secure.
My thoughts exactly on making love & fucking. Both are a party for all the senses. Both bring an engaging event that the other just cannot compare to.
I find the slow velvet texture of love making amazing. Taking the time to slowly build, while enjoying every slight hint & every pressing squeeze along the way. Making love elevates the sense of touch & taste so poignantly that the journey is as exquisite as the climax.
Fucking is feral. Opposed to the fine dining of love making, fucking is a great pizza, or burger, perfect in taste & mess. Getting the juices & greasy drippings all over you. A fast paced pounding brings out more sounds, heat, & frantic sexual panic that just shoots the intensity through the roof.
Love your descriptions of both. Learning to master both is a real asset to the marriage. Allowing both in the marriage is even a skill that few have. Far too many have hang ups to allowing such masterclass marriage sex. My prayer is for every one of Christ's church to learn, allow, & exhibit such master play til death do they part.
**A challenge to all the church on MH, pray (& never stop praying) for your fellow believers to end sin & selfishness in the marriage & learn, allow, & exhibit Masterclass marriage sex in peace, & power. In Christ, til death.**
I agree and disagree. Your definition and the definition of making love in the comments are good. I agree that a pounding n intense fucking is great too. But I would say that both are lovemaking or making love.
When my Melody n I have sex it often starts slow and gentle. There’s lots of kissing n nipple-play by each other, stroking, sometimes oral etc. The sexual intercourse often starts out gentle but the intensity grows until we are enthusiastically fucking each other. Often there will be both fast fucking and slow gentle pumping alternately in the same sex session. Sometimes we are so ready after intense foreplay that I plow into her pussy like a missle on target! I usually cum from the fast fuck or long sex that follows. But I usually have to be pounding her pussy to climax. But for a couple of years now Melody needs me sucking n tongue-flicking her nipples as she uses her bullet vibe to climax. She sometimes cums in foreplay but always cums after being thoroughly poundingly fucked. Sometimes it’s one n sometimes it’s two orgasms we each have.
So I’d say hard fucking is almost always a part of our lovemaking. Melody n I both have always enjoyed having enthusiastic pounding fucks as part of our lovemaking! Our first time, on our honeymoon, my virgin bride n I discovered that she loved a good pounding. (Of course she had just gifted me her virginity when we discovered that she likes a good pussy-pounding.) Her first orgasm came from that first fuck that started out gentle n slow and evolved into a mutually satisfying fuck!. And it was definitely making love.
Also, we consider any type of sexual encounter as lovemaking. My Melody loves on my nips as I use a vibrating male stroker to orgasm. We do this almost every day we aren’t having full sexual intercourse. And when her pussy is not fully operational due to some health issue there have been times I love on HER nipples as she uses a vibrator to buzz her clit to orgasm.
We’ve done “tip on nip” where I rub my glans in her tit while stroking my rod. We’ve done between-the-boobs sex. We’ve petted penis n pussy in the car, we’ve had some wonderful memorable fucking with her kneeling on the car seat and me standing behind her to fuck her from behind. We’ve had wake up in the middle of the night or before bedtime sleepy sex. etc. Etc. But they ALL are lovemaking & making love!
So I understand calling one type of sex as “lovemaking” and the other “fucking.” But I’d argue that both gentle tender “lovemaking” n enthusiastic pounding “fucking” (within marriage) are types of lovemaking/making love. Within marriage both types of sex create a sense of loving fulfillment , bonding, and intimacy. I’ll even say that God approves of both types of sex within a loving marriage.
I agree with LovingMan here. Love making is sometimes gentle with a slow pace of touching those pleasurable erogenous zones with grace and finesse. With as much loving kindness the sexual union can be of a robust nature. It can be loud with bedroom talk that is more explicit. Spouses should proactively consider the momentary needs of the other and go with one or another or both genres of sexual intimacy. I have seen the times where my wife had huge orgasms from a very tender, slow paced “lovemaking” session. And I have seen times where she wore her panties that read, “It ain’t gonna lick itself” and midway to orgasm she was telling me to fuck her hard and deep! In marriage, we all will be greatly blessed if we will choose to put the other person’s wants/needs above our own. When I chose that ideology many years ago, I discovered that just giving my wife pleasure was amazingly satisfying. I have often wondered if I could just give her pleasure the way she wants to an amazing orgasm, even if PIV is not chosen, then not have any reciprocation at that time. I have never suggested such but maybe I should. Most sessions she orgasms first and then is very much wanting PIV, but sacrificially pleasuring her without expectations…..isn’t that consistent with the love of our Lord? So, rose petals and violins or rosebuds and rock n roll, may we all enjoy God’s gift of sexuality in ways that are mutually pleasurable!
“Our first time, on our honeymoon, my virgin bride n I discovered that she loved a good pounding. (Of course she had just gifted me her virginity when we discovered that she likes a good pussy-pounding.) Her first orgasm came from that first fuck that started out gentle n slow and evolved into a mutually satisfying fuck!. And it was definitely making love.”
Whew! This got my cock erect in a hurry! That’s so amazing that she was so open to you emotionally and physically on your honeymoon to enjoy, and orgasm from getting her pussy pounded by you! Most women don’t orgasm from PIV…for your new bride with her tight, virgin pussy to enjoy being stretched, filled and fucked so hard and actually orgasm from it, that’s a special connection that you share! God blessed you greatly with her!
In a way, I agree with your sentiment that all sex is lovemaking and all sex is fucking. My wife and I change it up from slow to fast the same way…mostly to pace myself so last longer for her. Our slower love making session still always end up with me hard fucking her (I need that to be able to cum).
I wrote a defense of the word fuck here: https://marriageheat.com/2026/03/27/wet-waterfall-part-1/#comment-74541
Making love is everything for each other.
Fucking is fabulous – that passionate action.
Fucking is part of making love, making love is more than fucking.
Honored to draw a comment from you! I love to read your thoughts when I run across them on this site. And yes I think you are spot on. You said in 25 words more than I did in a thousand!
Catching up on stories and sorry to say I'm late to the party here.
As always I'm fascinated learn another beautiful woman on here writes.
I would not hear about the way we converse over the phone during the day. The tone of our conversation usually sets the mode for the evening.
And generally by the time he would arrive home the way I am waiting for him (here, makeup, lingerie style and approach let him know what mama wants)
And when we're out on a date our interaction generally shows how the nights going to end. Some nights we are not even out of the parking lot and go to the restaurant before he's unzipped and my hand is wrapped around his manhood.
I think I've written a story once I don't know if it ever got posted about one of those nights. By the time we got in the garage he had me bent over the hood of the car, then had me in the kitchen finally in the shower until we hit the bed passed out cold.
I woke up with his flaccid penis in my mouth. Got up went to the bathroom laid back down and put it back in my mouth to fall asleep while sucking.
Lady L. 💋🔥
Thanks for the memories honey!
I think tonight might be one of those nights.
…. It was!! 💋
Ummm me and my Mrs can relate with this 100 percent.
This is a great topic and agree w everything NW64 said. Me and my wife just had this conversation last night. Just got cleared for sex from something medical from the last few weeks. We both agreed we will be 100 percent fucking tonight lol. We can make love in the AM lol.