A Cold Day Indeed Means a Wee Peen in Need
A Cold Day Indeed Means a Wee Peen in Need
Here follows another favorite memory snippet from an early decade of our marriage. This one recounts a home-based experience. Plausible details are added to flesh out the narrative while remaining true to my actual memory of the experience. The core of the story is factual. Themes: Spontaneity, Humor
Once, on a very cold day in winter, I came inside from sledding all afternoon. We lived in snow country, and I’d been chaperoning a nearby church youth outing. Did I mention that it was cold? Single digit cold. And that’s not counting the breeze. Oh Lord, it was BITTER.
I wore long underwear and lots of other layers, but such cold is persistent and nosy. It snoops around for weak spots, attacks them, and sucks the heat out of your body little by little. I came inside from hours of cold, desperate to ditch clothing and thaw out under a good hot shower.
I found my sweetheart in our bedroom sorting laundry. The kids were downstairs playing. Even so, I closed the door behind me to undress, and started peeling off my layers of clothing. As I peeled, I tossed garments onto their proper pile on the floor as she pointed them out.
“Wow! My skin feels fiery, but I feel numb at the same time!” I exclaimed.
“Uh-huh,” she smiled. “I remember feeling that way one time when I was really cold.”
Already naked on top, I slid my long underwear and briefs to my ankles in one motion. Lifting my left foot from the collapsed leg holes, I kicked the garments into the air. My other foot caught and then distributed them in their proper piles. Only socks to go before I could scoot down the hall to the bathroom and that wonderful hot shower!
Before I moved, I looked down—it was only a glance.
“What the…?!!”
I had to laugh at the strange sight of my manliest part, that is, what I could SEE of him. My poor little peen – and I do mean LITTLE – decided a change of address was in order. If I was going to abuse him with such freezing temps as I’d forced him to endure, he’d move. He’d fled his usual quarters in the basement of my underwear for a nice warm retreat deep inside my body. Somewhere up around my stomach, I think. He would have remained outside with his two pals in their swing sack. But they too had hightailed it for warmer parts. Their once supple dangling nest now resembled nothing so much as the half shell of a large walnut. Firm, tight, and furrowed.
My shivering penis was a gray gumdrop stuck to my pubic bone, above the fleshy walnut shell bump clinging grudgingly to my groin. OK, maybe a half inch of the gumdrop’s pedestal was still outside my body, but only because it hadn’t persuaded its little gray friend on the tip to come all the way in where it was warm.
Truly, I hadn’t seen myself that small since puberty moved into the neighborhood and upsized everything many years before.
Neither, apparently, had my suddenly grinning wife.
A mischievous smile lighting her face, my inquisitive love bunny stepped around the clothes to inspect the surprising sight closely.
“Wow, you really ARE little, aren’t you?” she chortled. She bent low and nudged a knuckle under Mr. Gumdrop to lift him for inspection. “I’ve never seen you THAT small.”
“I told you,” I whined. “I think I almost froze him off!”
“He just needs warmed up!” she declared. And with that she swiftly bent down, palmed my cold bottom cheek with a hand and glommed her mouth so firmly over my withdrawn organ that I could feel her lips pressing tightly against my pubic bone. At the corner of her one eye that I could see while staring down at her, a devilish crinkle creased her skin.
Let me be candid. Rarely, if ever, had that much of my member found itself hidden inside her mouth. Namely, every last centimeter of it that was available to be hoovered in. Deepthroating was never much of an aspiration for either of us. She already put me in orbit sucking, thrusting, and tonguing that part of me that fit comfortably in her mouth. I never expected more.
Neither have I been as fully engulfed SINCE then, and I’LL TELL YOU WHY. If I DARE THINK about her sucking me erect from softness, I’m half hard before her lips get near me. (Mmm, SUCH a juicy fantasy!) OK, maybe once or twice since that day, I’ve been warm-mouthed from total slumber to straight up tall. But the thought of it normally short-circuits the possibility of it!
Now where was I? Oh yes, I remember. She had bent over, turned her head sideways, and without warning, sucked Little Wee Me into her mouth. I know the thicket of my hair tickled her nose as she administered her thawing in the most personal way.
I stood there astonished. And delighted! Then I just surrendered to the moment. Initially delicate stirrings, then intensely primal sensations banished all other thoughts from my mind. She batted and pushed my chilled member around and around her hot mouth with an aggressive, skillful tongue.
“OH!!! Oooh!! Ahhh!!! SHOOT!! – that feels really GO-O-O-O-D, my Love!”
“Come on out here!” she seemed to be saying to Wee Me. “I need you back to normal size!”
Of course, my little gray peen could not resist such a tsunami of stimulation. The cure for cold-shrinkage that M’lady Mischief laid on me was exceptionally effective, I can report. Before long, the great contraction reversed itself and soon progressed to the great expansion. Wonder-Lips coaxed that little organ right out of my body. And she didn’t stop coaxing until it regained its normal size, and THEN some, if you can imagine that.
Well ALRIGHTY then!
I wish I could say there was a happy ending to my love bunny’s penis-thawing ministrations right then and there, but that would come later. The kids were moving around in the house, we could have been interrupted, and I still needed to get a shower in before supper. So off I went, in true wonder at having married such an unselfconsciously sexy, spontaneously playful woman as she was, and having enjoyed such an erotic rush as her ambush antic had just given me.
To MH Readers:
That scene comprises one of the most unusual localized sexual sensations I’ve ever felt. To have every last bit of my soft, chilled, retracted penis sucked tightly inside her mouth and kneaded to life by her supple tongue while I stood naked, save socks alone, was so startlingly erotic that I still relive it today. M’Love’s abrupt move down on me, amplified by her playful demeanor, is forever archived on the top shelf of my sensual memories library.
I can tell you that decades later this wonderful woman still surprises me with her uninhibited sensuality when aroused. As befits our age, it takes us longer to get rolling down Libido Lane. (Me less so, but nothing new there.) Hormones are diminished. Pain and stiffness interfere. Joints jab at us with sudden pains or hamper us with creeping aches. Comfortable positions are hard to find, and then, maintain.
Frankly, we rely on creativity, because at our age, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is, well, WEAK. That gives that line a new twist – HAHA!. I think our motto for sexual loving today would be, “Do what you can, with what you’ve got!”
These days, of necessity, we employ toys, those magic pills for ED, lots of lube, and an early-to-bed commitment. We survey our schedules, because we are both quite busy. And we plan the best day for our sexual pleasures to unfold. This necessarily means more intentionality and less spontaneity. Sometimes we just self-stim (lying in opposite directions for the best views—LORD have mercy!). We take that to groaning, or yelling, orgasms for each other’s viewing and listening pleasure.
It’s a blessing to have delicious memories of prior experiences to help keep the fires burning. Although reviewing past sensual episodes arouses ME more than it does my relationship-oriented woman. Her arousal ramps up from real-time presence, free flowing communication, emotional closeness, affectionate touch, and gentleness.
Still, recounting episodes I’ve written can sometimes help when the mood strikes but the kindling is damp. Check out our Vacation Innovation, Balcony Bliss, and The Long Boring Highway submissions. Our 50th anniversary is a receding dot in the rearview mirror these days. But I am GLAD that we’re STILL SEXY together. Our bodies respond when we honor them as they are. AND—breaking news!—our sensual warmups, stimulation patterns, and eventual orgasms ARE! ALL! STILL! AWESOME!
So, to younger MH couples and singles-in-anticipation, I say, make as many good memories as you can while you’re young(er). You never know when they’ll come in handy.
And put on that extra pair of long johns when you need them. Let’s be safe out there.
– EDL
Hubbie here, EDL, and thanks for this great post! It’s funny, seems to reveal some heritage language (it’s always nice to “get to know” fellow MH’rs), and the sex is hot as well. I particularly loved the notes in the “To MH Readers” epilogue, because Queen and I can identify with all of the challenges.
And most of all, your use of being “intentional” is so key, at any time of life, but certainly after some years have rolled by. We are helping with a marriage conference at our church, in which “Intentionality” is a key component to building and maintaining connection with our spouses.
So in all, a well written, entertaining, “stimulating”, and wise post! Thanks for it, and keep remembering and sharing from your passion-past! Blessings and passion to you both.
Thank you, H(&Q). As usual, you effortlessly encourage. I like how you affirm MH writers' efforts.
I'm intrigued by your comment about "heritage language." What prompted the observation? Or did you just mean the little glimpses into our lives and journey evoked by details included in the story? (Wow – hope we haven't given ourselves away. HA!)
I'm glad to hear about your work with the marriage conference and hope it is fruitful – as well as fulfilling for you.
It's funny thinking about how I would write up our current adventures in bed. I doubt they would come off as hot as accounts of our sexual pursuits from earlier years.
I'm afraid it would be like…
"Foreplay starts in earnest as we open our oversized lube tub full of BENGAY and slather it lasciviously over each other's hungry, throbbing flesh. The heat is intoxicating and only fires our desire to make Whoopie while we are pain-free. Panting from hope and exertion, we mount our elevated bed and passionately tumble into each other – a hot tangle of arms, legs, torsos, and well-intentioned body parts. The greasy analgesic alternately burns and chills in a sensuous dance of stimulation. We remember that our toys are still hidden in the false bottom of drawer – lest snooping grandchildren discover them – and I climb from the bed to find them. As I slide off, I cast a lustful eye at my beautiful lady as she sits naked against the headboard – the fixture that we've made rattle and squeak so many times in the past. Her head, resting firmly upon her chest, daringly points my attention to her private regions down below. Weak with desire and lack of exercise, I marvel at how she has mastered the wanton art of glancing at her nether regions even through closed eyelids. I find a vibrator and my stroker, and climb aboard the bed. I stroke her hair and trace the bewitching curves of her rising and falling breasts, then snuggle alongside her. I pull her head onto my chest and wrap my arm around her upper body, clutching at her in naked embrace. I rest my cheek against her soft hair, hair filled with the heady fragrance of BENGAY, and ponder my next move.
We awake in the morning, sheepish and afraid to ask one another how it was the night before.
"You were GOOD in bed last night," I venture tentatively.
"No better than YOU," she responded after thinking for a moment.
"Well, thank you my love. Just one suggestion…"
"What's that, Sweetie?"
"Next time, let's give it a try the morning."
Can you picture yellow hearts piling up for stories like that, H?
Me neither. ; ). 8dl
Actually, I loved it!!!
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~~💛💛💛~💛💛💛~~
~~~💛💛💛💛💛💛~~~
~~~~💛💛💛💛💛~~~~
~~~~~💛💛💛💛~~~~~
~~~~~~💛💛💛~~~~~~
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Hope that's a big enough pile! 😁
Responding to CrazyHappyLoved. Thank you for that bracing affirmation and I'll receive that pile of hearts with gratitude! I love that you loved my spur-of-the moment response re: later-70's hijinks.
Very nice EDL. It’s wonderful how especially sensual memories stay with us. I’m grateful that you and your wife are still exploring the wonderful gift of sex after all this time together. Blessings to your and yours.
I agree with Kingdom Man!
Blessing back, KM. You are an encourager – possibly a pastor, but as likely not (no need to say!). We are grateful to be alive and still aware of our surroundings and each other. Our blessings cannot be taken for granted, we've learned.
KM, may the blessing you sow return to you thirty, sixty, one hundred-fold.
Great post & shared memory. Thanks for posting your well-written memorable experience.
Growing up in the snow belt, I can easily remember the cold, and it's "shrinking" effect, which reflects God's perfect plan in his design of our bodies….retracting valuable parts inside use, to help keep them warm.. I've always been amazed at our bodies..how they work, and can repair themselves. Happy to hear you & your wife are finding ways to keep each other sexually refreshed.
HAHA! From one old-timer to another, thank you OT. Appreciate your remarks and with you share in wonder about the marvels of our bodies and how they adapt, respond, and repair!
Heartwarming as well as cockwarming!
Thanks, F-M. I do aim to ring both bells at once – heart and body.
That's a good one!
Been that cold, been that shriveled, but never had such a fun revitalization. Lucky man!
Lucky – and surprised as you read. You can see why it lodged so prominently in my erotic memory bank, SMF!
EDL, this is a wonderful story! Your writings are clearly my favorite. When I finish the wonderful story, I continue to be blessed by the beautiful comments. Hubbie I sure wish we could attend your marriage conference. My wife and I are also in our retirement years and love every minute. Blessings!!
Bless you, Mokey, Your words encourage me to think about writing more. The four I've posted all came to mind more-or-less at once. Need to review some other m memories. But read my response to Hubbie if you haven't for the challenge of writing about recent sexcapades. HaHa!!
I can empathize.
I have had days coming from clearing snow and experiencing similar issues.
Fortunately, our laundry room is near the entry from the garage and also houses the furnace so it is always warm in there. This is where I strip out of my wet, cold clothes. My wife hears when I come in and beings me a pair of fleece pants and sweater to change into. I will have to get her to read your story for inspiration.
We'll be watching for your own version of my story, Drachenfire. May you be so ambushed one day. ; > )
Great story! Although I am average size erect, I can get very small when cold and especially cold and wet. I find it a bit embarrassing.
Who even knows but you and your wife, R33? Don't worry about size if it works, I say!
So, I got curious and did some reading about shrinkage. I read the normal amount of shrinkage of a penis in cold weather is 50% in length. That is half of what you have if warm and not erect. If you are very cold, it may shrink even more. Since I am a grower and not a shower, and then cut that by 50%, guess that is why I am so small when cold!
That's some interesting findings, Ron. Reminds me of the Lake Wobegone story by Garrison Keillor years ago when, a young boy ice fishing with his dad and other men noticed, upon"take a pee" outside their ice shanties, that at least in the cold, "all men are created equal." It brought the house down when he told it during his live broadcast. I remember hearing that episode way back when I listened religiously to his show.
What a fun (and sexy) story! I find I still have a lot to learn about the male body, so the shrinkage and retraction was actually new to me. I did not know the genitals could tuck up inside like that. Interesting! Well, if I ever have to warm up my future husband to get him back to normal size, I will most gladly employ the methods used by your wife. 😉
Thank you LLL. I used just a bit of hyperbole in describing my body's response to the cold, but male bodies DO have those mechanisms in order to keep sperm in the testicles within a healthy range for maximum potency. Normal body temperature is too warm which is why they are suspended outside the body in their swinging pouch which is more "air-conditioned" than if they were inside as a female's ovaries are. The sack's skin is elastic and can thin out and expand when overheated, allowing the gonads to drop even farther away from the heat of the torso, or, tighten up and thicken to preserve heat. This tightening and thickening causes the testicles to be pulled higher and close to the torso to keep them at a proper temperature. Neither parts of the male "package" retract completely into the body, but there is some drawing in, and drawing up, (or the opposite) with major external temperature changes. I am not a doctor, so do your own research to clarify and correct any misstatement I may have made, but that is how I always heard it explained. I do know from my own bodily responses that the difference in both position and size, from the coldest scenario to the warmest (such as after a soak in a very hot bath), is significant.
This story reminds my of the Seinfeld episode when George was walked in on after some beach time in The Hamptons. Rachel saw his small wee peen and he dramatically declared it was due to cold shrinkage!
It always amazes me how my cock can spring to life and swell with hardness when my Anne shows it attention!
Didn't see that episode, SG, but sounds like a line that would draw a good laugh in the context of the episode's storyline! ditto to your last line. "Fearfully and wondrously made," indeed. It happens to our spouses too; it takes longer, and manifests in more subtle ways, but it's always a turn-on to me!