Anal Play for Men (A)
Fellas,
I have read many stories on here about how exciting anal play can be with or without one’s wife. It has never been something I was into, nor do I desire anal sex with the wife. I am pretty big, so that wouldn’t really be an option anyway, even if I wanted to.
Dudes on here talk about amazing orgasmic feelings with the prostate. I have tried to see if I am wired like that as well. I have tried my fingers, an Aneros, a lubed-up cucumber, and still nothing. My questions include…
- Are some guys just not wired that way?
- Any brothers out there with a similar experience? If so, was there anything that worked eventually?
- Do you jack while you have something in your ass, or do you just chill with it up there?
I have not done anything with the wife; only solo so far. I would like to see if I can get any pleasure from it before I move on to her participating.
I have yet to cum from anal only but do enjoy it solo and as an occasional addition to masturbation
I can't say I have had the feelings I've been looking for myself, though I keep trying! Reports of multiple male orgasms by bypassing ejaculation keep me going, the idea of the Super-O as it's talked about on the Aneros forum, things of that nature. From what I am able to feel, I will say: it's incredibly different from a regular penile orgasm and it comes from deep inside. It's kind of like how women describe G-spot orgasms being different from clitoral ones–the prostate is supposed to be the male G-spot. And supposedly it will help men become better lovers, which is one of the main benefits for me so far if edging is any indication.
Just exploring this different kind of pleasure has really had the benefit of connecting me with my sensuality and given me a raised awareness of what goes on in my own body. It's possible I was dealing with a lot of blockages which going through inner healing/deliverance is helping me clear out. I can feel different sensations in different parts of my body, for instance the presence of the Holy Spirit was something I'd never been able to discern before but now I can, usually resting on my shoulders (though I credit this solely with seeking after God). And dealing with a lot of emotional pain, I can actually feel that boring through my heart. So it's becoming natural for me now to associate a lot of sexual desire (or perhaps baser animal impulses?) as centering in my prostate, and feeling that welling up inside me has been a different experience to say the least!
Now from reports it would appear that some men are born more sensitive to prostate pleasure and some have to work incredibly hard for it–I seem to be in the latter category. And that's frustrating, because so many things come easy to me that having to work for this patiently is frustrating. Then again I think God's used it to encourage me in my spiritual walk, because instead of it being condemning like "Why don't you put that much effort following GOD," it's more like He's Inviting me to look at my Spiritual journey in the same light and use the same kind of attitude: I have a working template already and it keeps me from falling back into pessimism. And that sort of brings me around to Jesus' parable of the pearl in the field.
My last Aneros session was an incredibly good one just with how loose I was able to stay and let the toy do its work inside of me, and what was just as incredible was how different and sensitive my penis felt a day later while I was masturbating. But it IS a different practice and I try very hard to keep the two separate, because they say that's what you're supposed to do.
As far as your own explorations go Tex, I guess it's up to you how deeply down the rabbit hole you're looking to go. I would absolutely encourage you to bring the wife onboard if she's willing, it's entirely possible that what you're really missing is her involvement! There's also a great book called THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PROSTATE PLEASURE by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian which really goes into couples' play aspects of this. Not knowing how much you know already I hope nothing I've said has come off as condescending. These questions to one degree or another have all been asked and answered quite often in the forum of the Aneros website so if you've never looked through that I'd encourage you to give it a peek, or better yet a longer glance–perhaps even a stare! Though there are a couple Christians that post there that I know of, I'd certainly love to see even more of a Godly influence over that place.
As a supplement to my already incredibly long post, I did try to describe in detail what a typical Aneros session looks/feels like to me already, and how it differs quite a lot from anyone's standard masturbation session: https://marriageheat.com/2024/03/18/the-passionate-prostate-experience/ If you haven't read this I'd encourage you to also seek answers to your questions there!
I don't believe it's a matter of whether you are or you aren't wired for something, but rather that you're wired with a greater or lesser sensitivity to something – which only means that certain sexual stimulation is easier felt than others, rather than being unachievable. For some it just requires being more attentive to their body and learning to perceive subtle pleasures that can eventually become very large pleasures.
I've had a few different Aneros devices for about 10 years and I've never experienced a prostate orgasm or the so-called "Super O" that a lot of users describe. However I have absolutely made a lot of progress in those years in terms of pleasurable sensations during a session with the device. I've become very in tune with my body and learned to perceive very subtle sensations as well as how to control/relax myself in new and better ways.
When I first started I was like you, I didn't know what to expect and didn't experience much of anything right away. Since everyone's bodies are different I can't really tell you how to achieve success, other than to suggest you not give up. When you have a session, don't go into it expecting anything other than to simply learn more about yourself by paying attention to any and all new/pleasurable sensations you experience. Learn from each session and build upon each one as you go.
Some tips I can offer though would be to make sure you have adequate lube. I like to actually use a small lube shooter to get some up inside before I insert the device. If the device can't adequately move around from muscle contractions of the sphincter or pelvic floor muscles, you won't experience any sensations. Having lube inside the anus can definitely help with this.
Another tip is to learn how to properly relax during a session. The misconception about the Aneros device is that the anal contractions cause the device to stimulate the prostate – which is only partially true. The pleasurable sensations are actually a result of involuntary contractions of the muscles, which will only happen if all the muscles in the area are relaxed first. The best way I can describe it is the relaxed feeling you get when you're peeing. Try to maintain that relaxed sensation while the device is inserted. Even try slightly pushing out, like a reverse kegel. When you start to feel your pelvic floor muscles and sphincter contract inwards on the device, relax the muscles again. The back and forth of relaxation, contraction is what I've found yields the best feeling sensations.
Part of it, honestly, could be a mental block. There is such a stigma with men and their asses that it prevents some from enjoying pleasure there. Some are so convinced that enjoying anal pleasure means they have same-sex attraction, that they mentally turn themselves off to the pleasures a prostate can provide.
Prostate orgasms are phenomenal. Here’s my account of achieving a ‘hands-free’ orgasm. Amazingly long and orgasmic! https://marriageheat.com/2020/11/02/hands-off-ecstacy/
I'll share some of my experience, since I've included a lot of anal play in my pre-marriage self-exploration. Maybe you can find something useful in it. I'm blessed in that I do receive significant pleasure from anal/prostate stimulation, but I've been practicing for several years, so that has a major impact.
Answers to your questions first, then I'll share my experience.
1: I'd imagine some guys receive prostate stimulation more easily than others, as individual wiring is all somewhat unique. But since normal, healthy penises are all sexually sensitive, I would venture a guess that normal, healthy prostates are all capable of receiving pleasure too. But based on the experiences of many men experimenting with prostate pleasure, I wouldn't be surprised if it took some time to wake up those nerves than have never been pleasured before.
2: Read my experiences below! My own experimentation with anal and prostate play started with relatively little pleasure, but increased as I practiced more and trained my body to understand and experience this as a sexual thing.
3: I'll also go into this a little bit below. Sometimes I add penile stimulation, sometimes not. Most of the time though, regardless of what else I add, I start by lubing up a glass butt plug with coconut oil, and spend a couple of minutes slowly working it in, which itself is a pleasurable process. Then I'll use some practiced movements of my pelvic floor muscles to gently force the butt plug in and out in tiny thrusts. Sometimes I can hit my prostate, sometimes not, but it always feels nice!
Now some miscellaneous thoughts.
I've heard it can take a long time for your body to attune to a new kind of stimulation, especially for the anus and prostate, which is often a more subtle kind of pleasure than penile stimulation. Certainly not as intense as directly touching the glans or frenulum! This means you may not get much pleasure when you're first trying anal and prostate stimulation. That was also the case for me, and it took a while before it became pleasurable. Even to this day, I haven't been able to reach orgasm through internal prostate stimulation alone, and much of my pleasure still comes from the anal opening and other hot spots in that area, rather than the prostate itself. I do get some pleasure from my prostate, but a lot of times it's still hard to find just the right combination of toy, body position, angle and technique! But I do have occasions where all the necessary factors will align and I'll suddenly start leaking way more pre-cum than usual, and even leaking semen before orgasm or ejaculation, and then I know I've hit the right spot! And it does feel great when I do, I just usually can't make that precise prostate stimulation consistent enough to reach orgasm.
Despite this inconsistency, I have occasionally been able to reach orgasm from combined prostate and anal stimulation alone, with no penile stimulation. Those are fun and interesting experiences! Usually I feel an urge to stroke my shaft when the orgasm comes on, but a few times, the anal stimulation was so good that when orgasm hit, it was totally satisfying and I felt no urge to involve my penis at all. I haven't been able to replicate that recently, but I'd love to again! It was so hot being able to orgasm without touching my penis! Once or twice, I also experienced anally-induced orgasms where the typical spasms of ejaculation didn't trigger, and as I came, the semen just flowed out instead of spurting. That was interesting and a fun experience too! But I haven't been able to achieve the long, drawn-out, non-ejaculatory or "dry" orgasm that is sometimes talked about in prostate pleasure circles. I'd love to experience that some time, but I haven't been in a place in life to practice for that consistently enough.
I didn't log every step of my anal exploration, but I did try quite a number of toys, and only a few really feel nice, maybe a third of the ones I tried, and of those, I have just a few favorites. I found I really like glass butt plugs, as they're compatible with any lube, and are very easy to clean. I found some that are shaped in just the right way for my anatomy, which allows me to manipulate them internally with just my pelvic floor muscles (after some practice). That leaves my hands free to play with my nipples, or my other man parts if I feel like it. Often times I wait until long into a session before I touch my penis, as I love the slower buildup from the combination of anal, prostate and nipple stimulation.
On the topic of anal sex that you mentioned, if you're not interested in doing that with your wife, that's fine, but let your interest or lack of it decide, not your size. Even as a relatively small-framed guy, I've fit some pretty big toys inside myself. I can't take much length, but by treating my back door tenderly and stretching very gently, I've trained it to stretch wide open. I've fit a couple of erotically enormous glass butt plugs up there, including one with a girth of 7+ inches! (Or 2+ inches in diameter.) It's been a while since I've stretched myself that wide, as I've found other stimulation to be more pleasurable, but I've proven it can be done. The point is, if you're both willing and interested, it's totally possible for the anus to gradually become accustomed to taking some seriously big objects. (By gradually, I mean training over the course of weeks and months, not just one long foreplay session.)
I hope some of this is useful!
I don't know about physical differences or how we might be "wired" from person to person. I suspect it's more psychological than physical. I have always been turned on by anything anal related, and I'm 100K% secure in my masculinity. If I didn't have the moral and theological beliefs than I do have, I still wouldn't be the least bit inclined for any same-sex attraction. My belief is exploring your bodies together without limits is a beautiful thing. It's amazing to share so many desires I had always felt with Kate and for her to be my only experience with such. To me, our rectums (hers and mine, specifically) aren't "dirty", they're just part of our bodies.
Further suggesting the mental aspect, I cringe at the thought of a prostate exam and I'm happy to get away from my urologist without one. However, I love it when Kate put her finger up my ass. Yes, she is small, but I don't think it's a size issue. While on the subject of size, Kate is 4'8" tall and thin, yet she manages to fully accept my nearly 8" long cock up her ass. It takes some time, but by the time I blow my load, she has relaxed and I've easily pushed completely into her rectum.
Great comments from the guys.
I've been working on prostate orgasms on and off for a while now. I watch the homemade porn that my wife and I have made over the years, I've not experienced the big O yet but I do have small ejaculation. The wife and I brought a strap on vibrator, a part of it goes in her vagina and the rest in me, we can both get enjoyment from this and she love to fuck my ass. Sometimes I do jack off and other times I don't, depends on the vibe at the time. We then brought a double ended dildo, that's great fun. So I think (what I've read) is all about practice and finding the right spot (consistently) to have the big O.
Am I going to give up, not a chance.
Both my wife and I are in our 60's too
Have fun and practice with your wife
I wish we could discuss the fantasy or porn men might help them enjoy having a “cock” in their ass. When my man finally admitted it really got him off it helped.
It was a struggle in the beginning, but I finally accepted that the prostate is a sexual organ and it’s okay to play with it. 😂
I purchased a Renegade Sphinx Warming Prostate – Black from Adam and Eve. What a game changer! One of the best purchases I have made. I had no idea my body could do stuff like this. I just kept repeating in my head that it's OK for Alpha men to enjoy their ass pleasure. Our prostate is a sexual organ that God designed. I think that helped me get over that hurdle. I highly recommend this massager!