Questions
So, I got a Fleshlight.
My penis has a significant downward bend in the middle, more or less like a boomerang. It works fine for me, but I’m not sure how to make it work for a woman. The pressure points are the underside of the head and the top side in the middle at the bend.
I was reading online that with a downward bend, positions from behind are the best. And that you use the underside of the head to put pressure on the G-spot. However, in the Fleshlight the G-spot is about 0.5 inches inside. Trying to hit that place with the end of the penis causes it to slip out all the time. I’m not sure how this is supposed to work.
Second, I held the Fleshlight at about 30 to 60 degrees from my torso and thrust up towards the top of it. I found the top side of the bend can put a lot of pressure on the wall of the Fleshlight. It’s like a two‐stage trigger. The first half goes in pretty easy, then you hit the wall and then it suddenly releases. I’m not sure if this is something to learn to avoid or to master. Also, I’m not sure how much pressure on the wall feels good?
Third, I tried a condom to see what that felt like. It took a lot more lube and rapidly dried out. And I had to be gentle, otherwise the condom would tear. Is this a typical experience, or am I doing this wrong?
One last thing, reading online it’s all about the clit, G-spot, and the elusive A-spot. However, I get the impression from stories on this site that it is a lot more nuanced than that. Is that correct?
Thanks in advance.
Hey GatorBait, I get what you’re saying. First of all, I would highly recommend reading (or listening) to the book “She Comes First “ by Ian Kerner. It’s loaded with some great information. Second, remember that no two women are the same, and no two men are the same. That said, one of the greatest joys In marriage is learning how and what brings her the most pleasure. Together you learn.
You can’t really figure it all out ahead of time. My youngest son had to have surgery on his penis at 2 years, 4 years, and 16 years old. His bends downward drastically. We had this very conversation the week before his wedding. I asked him two weeks after, how everything was working, and his answer…. .
“Everything is working out, and In, and out, and In. And we’re having a great time figuring it out!” Learning about your body is great, and will help you teach her how to please you. But you can’t learn about her secrets until you’re married. I pray for you, and the other singles here, that The Father, Creator of all, will bless you with the right mate for you!
I'll go find that book
To answer your last question, YES female arousal and orgasm are a lot more nuanced. Most women need an emotional connection and the whole body can feel like an erogenous zone. Or different parts of the body are erogenous for different women. (That goes for men too.) Yes the clitoris and G spot are important but there is so much more to it.
I know you’ve probably read my posts where I mentioned the Hello Cake Vibrating Stroker. Because it is not tubular you could stroke your curved erection with no problem.
I use coconut oil with the stroker because it does not dry up. This works out great when using the vibrating stroker is part of foreplay because coconut oil is our “go to” lube.
Ok I'll try some coconut oil. I had not thought of that before.
Good questions! From your previous comments around the site, I seem to recall you're single and preparing for marriage? I'm in the same position, so I'll share a little of what I've learned in my own preparation!
As for the G-spot in the fleshlight, I wouldn't worry about it. The fleshlight isn't going to care. If you're aiming to practice to please your future wife, aim for the area where the G-spot is more likely to be for a real woman, which would be a bit further inside. And even then, don't worry about getting it just right, because your future wife's anatomy is almost certainly going to be different from the fleshlight, so you'll have to make adjustments anyway.
As for pressure on the fleshlight/vaginal walls coming from the shape of your penis, I don't fully understand what you mean by the second part of the "two-stage trigger" description. I understand how the bend creates a point that's harder to insert, but could you clarify what the "sudden release" means? Does it get past that tough point and finish penetrating the rest of the way rather suddenly? Or do you mean something else by "release"?
Whatever the case, I don't think it's a problem unless it's uncomfortable or painful for you, and it sounds like that's not the case. To really know whether your shape and the pressure on the vaginal walls will have an effect on your future wife (either positive or negative), well, I'm afraid that'll have to wait until you find her, marry her and start having sex. If you're really concerned about it, you could always see a doctor about it. They do have devices that have shown some success in non-surgically straightening penises with problematically steep curves. But there's a high chance your shape won't be a problem, and may even be pleasurable for your future wife! So I wouldn't "treat" it unless it starts becoming a problem. I would definitely not risk any kind of surgery unless there is a severe and increasing condition that is making sex painful or impossible, which it doesn't sound like you have.
I don't have any experience with condoms (again, single virgin guy speaking, haha). But it seems to me that condoms are meant to withstand the normal stresses of sex without breaking. It's possible you got some that were low-quality, or a batch that were weakened somehow. Or maybe you need a different kind of lube? I seem to recall some kinds of condoms breaking down more easily when exposed to certain kinds of lubes, so maybe see if there's a compatibility issue.
On your last question, by "it" I'm guessing you mean female pleasure and orgasm, and mutual satisfaction overall? Yes, it's much more nuanced than just pressing a few buttons on her body. No human being is as simple as that, male or female! Of course, it's great to know how to find and stimulate those pleasure zones you mentioned, but that's not everything. There are many other erogenous zones that can increase arousal, provide pleasure, communicate affection, and more. Basically any spot on the body can be an erogenous zone! Many will differ from person to person as well. Varying the technique, intensity and location of your stimulation also helps make for a more pleasurable experience. I've found it's true for me in my self-exploration session, even as a man! And of course, sex isn't just about mechanics, it's about intimate relationship. The best sex is always built on top of the foundation of a much broader committed relationship (marriage), rich in love, kindness, grace, shared purpose and non-sexual kinds of intimacy. But that's a way deeper subject!
Hope some of this helps! Feel free to ask if anything I mentioned doesn't make any sense.
This was really fascinating! I want to learn more about male anatomy and the shapes of penises so I'll be ready for whatever my future husband has. I can't give any experienced advice, being a virgin woman, but I would say that as long as you're not in any pain, just keep trying things that feel good and explore different techniques. I have this feeling that no matter how much I learn with masturbating routines, I'm going to have a whole new field of learning when I get married because I'll be introducing someone else's fingers, mouth, and a penis into the picture, and I've never felt any of that before! It's a bit nerve-racking, but also exciting. We singles can only practice with what we have for now.
I hear what everyone is saying about having to wait and find out, but I suspect I could really hurt her if I do the wrong thing.
GB,,,,If you are careful and considerate (as you seem to be), you will probably be able to use the oil for lubrication and so slowly and explore your spouses body to the max. Adequate foreplay will help relax her and open things up in anticipation of your organ's arrival.
Glad you can use your Fleshlight brother. I have destroyed every masturbator that I have purchased within a week or two due to my girth. It's too bad they don't make any specifically for girthy fellas.