Two Prayer Requests (L)
(L) – This post contains strong language.
URGENT requests.
Years before finding MarriageHeat, I had longed for a site like this: a place with believing Christians who are also “hot-wired” for sex, fellowshipping at various levels, free to express themselves and their heartfelt emotions and desires. This is part of the “wholeness” that Jesus promised, as opposed to the mechanical approach found on porn sites. Obviously, no one can heal sexual wounds better than the God that designed and created us, including our sexual aspects.
With that foundation, I have two prayer requests. Details later. For now, the foundation.
Some of you may recall from my introductory posting a few weeks ago that I have been divorced twice. My first wife, although shapely and attractive, often withheld sex as a weapon. Our marriage became a slow-moving train wreck. The process of the divorce was even worse. (I’ll spare you those details.)
My second wife was more sexually willing, but later developed health problems that eventually destroyed her sex drive altogether. I had not been laid in more than 10 years when she divorced me for looking at porn to get some relief. It has now been four more years since I have enjoyed “the comfort of a woman.”
As if the above were not bad enough, in 2006 I had emergency abdominal surgery. (The details are kinda icky…) Over the next two or three years following the surgery, scar tissue developed inside my lower abdomen. Apparently, that scar tissue has choked off something in my “plumbing” to the point that I can no longer ejaculate. It has been 10 or 12 years since I have shot a full load of cum. (On rare occasions, a few drops will make their way out, sometimes painfully.)
The above is a far cry from my previous performance, even into my fifties. (I’m now 66. Thanks for asking… 😉 ) Sure, I’d be glad to provide a couple of examples.
When we were still dating, my first wife and I finally decided to have “real” sex. (We had experimented with various forms of “almost” sex during three years of a long-distance engagement while I was in the military.) When we went further, we both knew that it was a sin, but we couldn’t resist any longer. Without glorifying the details, I found out that I could cum very powerfully and shoot a long distance with some significant force behind it!
On another occasion, maybe 10 years into our marriage, we were fucking doggy-style. She was kneeling on the edge of the bed, and I stood behind her with a great view of her big, meaty, beautiful, pear-shaped ass. I told her that I was getting ready to cum, and she said, “Cum on my ass!” She rarely talked quite like that, and so I knew that she was really turned on that day. Her command caught me by pleasant surprise and turned me on even further, which resulted in a big load building up. Although I aimed for her magnificent ass, the load flew waaaaaaaaaaay farther—and got stuck in her hair. (As I type this, my balls are starting to ache with the thought of someday being able to do that again…)
With those two examples in mind, you can understand the double-whammy problem of both the emotional and the mechanical frustrations of my situation. I want to shoot my cum, and I need to shoot my cum, but I can’t. Worse yet, the problem has increased to the point that, in recent years, my orgasms are accompanied by an increasing amount of pain.
I’m not a doctor, but I have had some emergency medical training. (And, sadly, as a result of my military injuries, I have spent plenty of time listening to medical jargon during various hospital stays.) My educated guess is that I have developed some sort of spinal neuropathy—most likely a combination of the scar tissue from the intestinal surgery, the degeneration of my spinal discs (aftermath of a high-speed parachute malfunction), and weight gain from “mood food” caused by lack of sex. Doctors brush off my concerns, saying, “Oh… ‘retrograde ejaculation’ is common in men your age. It won’t cause cancer or anything.” (I have done enough reading online to know that “retrograde ejaculation” is not what I have. The pain originates in my lumbar spine.)
Now, as if all of that were not bad enough… Even if I were able to have normal orgasms, I have no one to have them with. Even during my teenage years, my sex drive was higher than most of my friends. Now, at age 66, that is still true. And, even my pastor kinda laughed-off my request for a prayer that I find a woman that could keep up with my sex drive.
Were it not for this MH site, I would not have found a group of believing Christians that can not only allow me the freedom to express these concerns, but also pray for them. So, I ask my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray that God will:
- Heal my insides and restore my physical sexual health, and
- Grant me a believing Christian wife that has a matching sex drive.
Sadly, most churches seem to consider these topics off-limits. But, I know that God cares for me—all of me. I have prayed about these things many times over the years. But now, here, I can access a group of fellow believers that can lift these concerns up to God.
Thank you in advance for your prayers.
PS: There is no category to click for “prayer requests”, and so I’m using the next-closest thing.
You and every other person on this site is in my prayers. I will absolutely be lifting you to our loving and generous Father, the God who delights in giving gifts to His children. I fully understand living with health issues, though praise to God they haven't stopped my sex drive or ability to enjoy masturbation. And being a single virgin I don't know yet what I'm missing in married sex. But my heart and compassion go out to you. Yes, God cares about your health and your sexuality and your desire for a loving and eager wife. He gave us the desires for those things! I'm sorry you've been laughed off by other believers about this topics. How I yearn to see the church transformed on its views of sex! I'll be praying God's healing on you, His provision for you, and mostly, His joy and peace in you no matter what path you walk. He loves you and has purpose in all you go through. The peace that Jesus alone gives be with you.
LLL,
Thank you!! Your comment got me a bit misty-eyed.
I'm sorry that your pastors have laughed off your situation when you come to them for prayer, that's wrong. And your doctors too! If your doctor refuses to help you, find one that will! And the same for a church and church leadership! Gosh I'm sorry that you've had all these problems, and truly our God is a God of healing. I've been seeking that myself and all I can tell you is that seeking Jesus is its own reward, and the more you can then the more He'll give you in return.
Thank you, and a hearty "Amen!".
I get all my medical care at the VA, and so changing doctors is not easy. (But, it's also not impossible.)
Rather than merely "move on" to another church, I recently started one myself.
TurnedOn47, you are going to need a good urologist.
Even if you did find a good horny, high drive woman for a wife, sexual intercourse is going to hurt when you ejaculate.
You need surgery.
Praying for you.
sarah k,
As I mentioned in the body of the story, mine is not a urological problem. The pain originates in my lower spine.
Further, years ago, I had a prostate reduction operation. (My prostate had been 130 grams. The average man is 50 grams. The maximum that the urologist was allowed to remove was 50 grams, thus leaving me with 80 grams. So, even after the biggest reduction possible, my prostate was still more than 50 percent bigger than normal. That's why I could shoot a big load of cum the length of the bed.)
I've had discussions with several doctors. Insurance regulations will not cover the type of procedure that might help. (Of course, I could likely get some relief if I could afford a "cash procedure"….) That is a big part of why I have asked for prayer. God can do a better job than any surgeon, anyway.
Thanks for your concern.
Um… I must confess that I'm a bit disappointed that only three people have commented on my request for prayer. There are hundreds of members of this forum. I have prayed for many of the situations that I have read about here (and on other platforms, sex-related and otherwise) — even when the people have not asked for prayer.
Perhaps a lot of others have prayed for me. But, I don't know, because you haven't SAID SO. Please do post a comment and let me know that you have prayed. As much as I have posted, there is more heartache behind it that I have not posted.
And, if you know a woman that might be compatible, please try to help us make a connection.
Thank you.
Re; “Perhaps a lot of others have prayed for me”
This is true, brother, rest assured.
And like you, I have said many prayers for many others on here.
And remember that our prayers will not be undone!