A Different Approach

My husband is a great guy, but there is no question that our needs in the bedroom are very different.  I feel like having sex once (maybe twice) a month but he feels like it every second night.   We have agreed that once a week will be the minimum, however, I really try to make it twice instead.  The problem we are having lately is that he has gotten the idea that I need to have a big “O” everytime and if I don’t then he just won’t continue.  This will usually mean he fingers me for a while (which is my easiest way to orgasm) and if I can’t get there then he just rolls over and everything is done.

I keep trying to explain to him that some nights it just isn’t possible for me to reach a climax and I wish he would just go for it himself.  I am happy to give him pleasure but I that doesn’t mean I am going climax as well.  Anyway, I have been trying to tell him this but the message isn’t getting through and somehow he feels that as a man he needs to pleasure me first or he can’t continue.  Then, of course, if he doesn’t continue he is grumpy the next day because he obviously needed the release for himself.

Anyway, after talking to two of my girlfriends lately, I decided to try a different approach.  Instead of just telling him to proceed (when I know that he won’t), I decided to “make” him orgasm even when I can’t.  This is the approach that one of my girlfriends uses and she has a great marriage.  I must say that things have improved already.  For instance, one night after I couldn’t “get there” and Steve rolled over, I rolled over too and gave him a handjob.  He really liked that and we did it a few times since.  Another night I started with a hand job and then surprised him by climbing on him to finish him off in the woman on top position.  I must admit by the end of it I was really turned as well.

Last night I decided to satisfy him earlier in the evening.  Steve needed a haircut and although I am not a hairdresser, I have been cutting his hair for as long as we’ve been married.  I tried to set the mood when we got home from work.  While Steve was frying the pork chops I slipped upstairs and removed all my undies.  We finished cooking and eating the meal but I don’t think he even noticed.  When I suggested a haircut he went to wet his hair and I undid a couple of buttons.

It wasn’t long until he was looking down my shirt as I cut his curly locks and in no time his hand was running up and down my thigh.  By the time I was finished with his head, there was another head poking up through the button hole in his shorts.  I sat down on top of him, face to face.  As he entered me I realized that I was probably more turned on than he was.  I rode him hard, back and forth and up and down.  His penis must have rubbing my g-spot and his mouth was working magic on my breasts as I came to an earth shaking orgasm.  It was a good thing he came right after me because my legs were worn out (I could hardly walk the next day).

I hope this will encourage other women to just take care their man.  When I started deciding to please him, it was just for him but now I find that I often get turned on too.  I also hope it will encourage men to just go for it.  When a man’s wife is willing to let him in, then go in, don’t just roll over.  Somebody needs to come on strong and show some desire, then both will enjoy sex more.

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1 reply
  1. Loved by my Wife says:

    This is really encouraging: I also have a higher drive than my wife, but really hate one sided sex. I love my wife & I want to make love to her – not just get off on her. I can get very discouraged when I feel like a failure as a lover & that in turn discourages my wife: too many good opportunities have been wasted by my pride. I am glad i am not the only one & I hope that stepping up for my wife is as much of a blessing to her as your courage is for your husband.
    You love him well & he is blessed because of you.

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