Warm My Toe

There are some things about sex that you just have to figure out for yourself, especially if you are a Christian couple who grew up in unapologetically chaste conservative households.  At least that’s true for us.  And truly, discovering How to put Which erect organ Where was easy enough, mastered within several seconds of hitting the wedding night sheets, and learning the When followed shortly.  The Why was obvious, of course, at least at first, and there was never even an issue as to Whether sex would happen today.  Duh.

Sooner or later we had a night or two when we didn’t have sex, and lo and behold we saw that we didn’t always want to make love like humping rabbits all day long.  At least one of us didn’t.  Which meant that one of us has to actually be the romance initiator and ask for sex, or at least hint at it.  This of course opened up a whole new vocabulary that neither of us had ever learned.  Not something we’d discussed with our parents as teens.

Hey Lady, Wanna fuck? has never sounded quite right coming from either of us (a classic line from the old Body Heat flick).  Darling, Will you please remove your clothes and make love to me? is a little lame.  I need your Cock, and I need it now! sounds great in theory, but my sweetheart has never been able to muster that one with a straight face, and besides it makes her feel kinda dirty.  Okay, Hop on! is always good for a chuckle and a ready screw.  We’re at a stage of life where if we don’t communicate our desires in a very specific way, it ain’t gonna happen.

So usually one of us will simply say, Well, do you want to…?  And there’s no question what we’re referring to, and the answer always is Yes.  At least for straight intercourse.  On the other hand asking for oral sex has been a little trickier, since she no longer instinctively goes down on my member as spontaneously as in the old days.  She’ll gladly provide oral sex when asked, but in the past few years it really needs to be my suggestion.

So, how to ask.  Hey Pretty Baby, how about sucking my Dick? doesn’t go over too well.  Will you please put my penis in your mouth? Would you like to oral me?  I need a blow job, now!  Lick my Lollipop!  I’d like fellatio tonight.  Well, you readers get the idea.

So picture us, if you will, a middle-aged couple crazy in love with each other, used to making love several times a week, it’s very late and we’re more than a little exhausted by the pressures of life, but she’s nonetheless anticipating finding unconditional love and solace in the intimate one-flesh act of intercourse… but picture me craving oral sex.

Can’t think of anything else, I’ve just got to feel my quivering cock being swallowed deep into her velvety throat.

We’re lying naked under the covers, and she’s getting playful because I just said Wanna do it?  Her fingers and moist lips make their way down my chest and then my belly, tweaking my nipples and navel, working down to my groin.

My balls and penis gleefully anticipate their special touch, even as my own hands wander across her delicious smooth skin, finding the voluptuous concupiscent curves of her flanks and bosom.  Trouble is, when she finally gets to the good part, where her fingertips reach out to grab my raging rockhard erection, she finds only a soft little guy attached to a very eager but tired man.

The little guy knows exactly that he needs to grow up, but isn’t sure how to get it without breaking the mood.  Oh, She says, you’re so cold, just feel your cold legs, and your toes are ice cubes.  And with that she bends further south to rub my feet with her hands, licking them, even drawing my big toes into her mouth.  And yes, in no time my toes get good and warm.

Honey, you’ve got my toes good and warm.  But now you need to warm my other toe.

What?

My other toe won’t do us any good unless it gets warmed up too.

Oh, she says as the light bulb clicks on, The other toe.  Whereupon she lays her head in my lap and draws my soft guy between her loving lips and begins to suck.  Gently at first, licking the rim, chewing and munching on the rubbery tip, then drawing the whole thing into her mouth and applying some slurpy suction while her fingers stroke the shaft.  Within just a few seconds I am at full length, erect and hard, ready to service her waiting pussy.

Your toe, huh? she giggles, Well, toe this, Big Boy!  And with that she turns up the heat, sucking, licking, stroking, fingering my balls and anus, deep-throating me, nibbling on the head, sticking her tongue as far into the opening as she can manage, chewing on the side like a cigar, sending my consciousness into a full tailspin, until the hot orgasmic glow began to flow out from my loins into all the rest of my body and I erupt in wild streams of ejaculation.

Picture us in there bed, my darling pumping away with her mouth while I lie blissfully still with the climactic waves rolling over me, my hot juices squirting into her loving mouth, her fingers caressing my balls and feeling the powerful contractions in my groin.

And hear my sweetheart say, as she releases my member and casually wipes semen from her chin, So Honey, is your toe warm enough now?

Thus the polite non-sleazy way to request fellatio in our bedroom is to simply say:  My Toe Needs Warming.  Elegantly simple, no?  It works for us.

The authors are very interested in knowing how other couples communicate this special desire to each other.  Any comments?