This is my first post here. I hope you find it helpful. I enjoy reading the great stories on MarriageHeat! God bless you all.
These verses are from Ephesians 5 –
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Husbands, the above verses give us a good picture of how God wants us to love our wives.
The Bible tells us to love our wives as ourselves. But what does that mean to you? How can you love someone as you love yourself? Well, you cannot do it by yourself. But when you ask the Helper (Holy Spirit), He can assist you, as He helped me and is still helping me everyday.
So, in keeping with the theme of this website, how can you love your wife like yourself in bed? You need to first ask, “how do I love myself?”
As for me, I love myself this way:
I love a good fuck. I love a good cum. I love to enjoy her body. I love to be satisfied in bed, etc. So, I must also make sure that I love my wife the way I love myself. Of course, this is true out of bed as well as in it. But it is my job to make sure she enjoys our lovemaking as I enjoy it.
One of our problems as Christians is that we were/are taught that sex is something shameful, bad, and not something to be open about. This is especially true for women. I think that’s wrong.
Jesus Christ wants us to enjoy sex as long as it is in the boundaries He made for us (one man with one woman for life). Putting aside the reproductive aspect, without great sex a couple’s spiritual growth together as one can be hampered. That’s why you leave your parents’ house, cleave to your wife ,and begin to fuck each other very well. When that aspect of your life together is happy, it can help you both with taking care of the other responsibilities like for worshipping Him and so on. Of course, its lack is not an excuse! But good sex can both flow from and feed a heart of gratitude toward God.
But how can you fuck each other very well if you don’t talk about it? You have to talk about sex. Ask your wife questions like: How do you like this? What do you not like? Did you cum? Are you close? Encourage her to feel free to pour her mind out to you without fearing your judgement. Say to her, “Tell me whatever you feel. Don’t be shy. Remember, I am here just for you.”
Sex is not just in the genitalia but in the mind as well. Your wife’s brain must be ready for it. If you really love her, take the time to get her ready. Use your words as well as your actions to rev her engine, learning from her responses (and your questioning) what she responds to best.
Some women grew up in a culture where they were told to only care about the satisfaction of their man. They may not have thought about their own satisfaction. Or maybe she is shy. Be open to her. Help her realize that she needs to unlearn some of the wrongs things she learned about sex and herself. Tell her that her Creator made her wonderfully, and that he made her to enjoy sex well.
To love your wife as yourself means you need to understand how her body works. You need to know and understand the role the parts of her body (like breasts, ass, brain, clit, eyes, vagina, etc.) play in her sexual arousal. What stimulates her most? How can you help her enjoy sex like you enjoy it?
Also remember that what works for one woman may not work for another. Therefore, you have to find out what works best for your wife, not just rely on what other people tell you works for them.
Understand that the business of helping your wife enjoy sex is not just a good thing but also an obligation.
I pray that God Almighty will help you start your lifelong honeymoon today. I pray that God will give you the ability, wisdom, and knowledge to love your wife and give her everlasting pleasure.
In Jesus’ mighty name.