Sexual cues
What verbal cues to you give each other? Subtle or overt? Please add yours.
We are very overt (direct or to the point). My wife took subtlety or innuendo as me being “coy.” She detested that strategy. It took over ten years for her to directly confront me about that. You see, as a child of the 80s, I had every John Hughes movie move in the book.
Want to go brush your teeth?: My wife doesn’t really need to ask this as a question, but she does. I’m always ready to go brush my teeth in the morning and come back upstairs. It’s the first thing I do when I get up. Sometimes I hover between up and downstairs. I’m hoping she stirs just enough for me to ask the following.
Can I come back to bed?: My indirectness shines through with this one. It’s a close relation to the “brush your teeth” cue. It’s about 50-50 successful, whereas “brush your teeth” is running at 100 percent.
Follow me upstairs or WILL you follow me upstairs?: These are my go to statements. They are direct, and I use them in a calculated manner. I’m ALWAYS thinking about her coming upstairs, so I have to use this at the right time. I wait until the kids are gone and she’s not working on something in the house or for work. Also have to make sure she’s not sick, etc. I’d say 60-75 percent success with this one. I try hard not to set myself up for failure. She’ll use it occasionally. It’s a 99-100 percent success rate for her.
The “kids” are not going to be home for a while: A little coy on my part, but I use this when they are out at work or other activities. She’ll get the hint and has used it on occasion as well. About 50 percent for me and of course 100 percent for her using this line.
That’s really about it (or some variation of the same). I’m asking you all for some more suggestions we can use. Thanks!
I ask her, as we are cuddling in the morning, “would you like to cum this morning?” If it’s 30 minutes before her alarm goes off, this gets a yes about 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time she may say she is fine, but will ask if I would like to cum. That would be a yes. We cuddle every morning, but having enough time for sex may only happen 2-3 times a week.
She on the other hand will just say, “I’m needing you inside me.” As you can imagine, that works 100% of the time. This happens most regularly 24 hours (or so) before sex actually happens and is usually a request for me to make time for a much longer session of pleasure. We then go out of our way to connect more deliberately when there will be no distractions.
That is a sweet and hot way to start the day. We cuddle at night, so generally that's where it starts, but morning cuddling sounds divine.
Having your spouse openly desire you, is an amazing feeling. Something we've talked about and both of us have things to work on in this area. I am too coy or silly and she doesn't consistently express it so forwardly.
Thanks for these as they give me great ideas.
My favorite cue is “ I’m needing a nap”. This is always used in the middle of the afternoon, as we LOVE Afternoon Delights! I head up the stairs as I declare it’s nap time, and my husband always shows up in about 5 minutes….always gives me time to get naked, candles lit and toys out and under the covers! He knows the routine and NEVER passes up the chance to play with me!
He doesn’t verbally have cues really, he just can’t keep his hands to himself. The day will usually start out with him hugging me extra long and making sure I can feel his semi hard cock against my leg or pelvis during that hug. He usually gets a quick butt squeeze when I feel it. He LOVES to tease and touch me through the day, as I return these flirty actions for hours. I will usually put on something see through to wear around the house that drives him crazy and will innocently flash surprises at him….bending over in my tiny panties or letting him catch me rubbing my pussy and acting like I’ve been caught doing something naughty. We basically have so much fun teasing and turning each other on.
Hugs… Every time I hug my wife, the reaction 'down there' is automatic and nearly instant. I think the reaction has been 'programmed' through years of marriage. I'm not in the habit of hugging a lot of women other than my wife, but I've hugged enough to know that this reaction comes only from hugging her. It's sort of like Pavlov's experiments with the dogs: Make a sound while giving dogs food, and pretty soon they will salivate while hearing that sound alone. For me… hugging my wife conditions me to respond in a certain way, whether we're headed to the bedroom or not. And sometimes I'm in places where I'd just as soon not have that reaction downstairs! From what you've written, Sultryheat, I assume I'm not the only husband with this 'conditioned response?' 🙂
Ittlb, you are so right about the automatic physical reaction! My guy is definitely wired that way. I have always been amazed that if at any point, his penis is even in close proximity to my vagina, it will twitch and harden….even in non-sexual situations. I’m even talking about when we’re sleeping. I truly think it has a brain of its own! ?
We both use the "take a nap" cue, generally on the weekend when the kids are not around. We don't get the candles or things out, and accessorizing or lovemaking with scents and visuals would make a nice change.
I am like that some, though she doesn't always appreciate the pawing (I respect that as we've discussed it a lot) and any touching usually has her thinking I want her. I am always wanting her, and would settle for just holding each other and making-out some. She's about penetration, so once we head down that path we end up there, which is part of the reason she doesn't warm up to touchy-feely.
One that I used today was "I really desire you." I guess that would go in the overt category. 😉
Though I don't keep track of how often particular ones work, i just say what's on my mind. I wanted her to know that I'm still attracted to her. As a matter of fact, I doubt she even had time to do anything right then. As they say, it's the thought that counts.
The thought that counts is a great out somedays when you know she's not in the mood, and you don't want to rack up days without some sort of outward affections. (My next post will be about times when I do not express enough desire – as hard to believe as that is…)
I do like the straight forward, "I really desire you." I have used something along those lines a lot as she detests "coyness". I do understand, as it takes it to another emotional level where sex is not always playful.
Thanks!
For me, it’s not so much what he says as how he says it. When he whispers I love you into my ear instead of just saying it, works every time ?. With him, he definitely responds to overt cues vs subtlties. “I need you so bad” “Join me in the shower?” And “don’t make me tie you up ?” are all very successful.
I love all of those in your last sentence, though we haven't approached the tying up stage of our sex life yet. I do whisper I Love You a lot, though it's not really a sexual cue for us as much as an affirmation.
Our love-making sessions are scheduled, so it really doesn't matter what is said.
I understand the scheduling aspect and our cues fall into a category that could be described as robotic. The reason I am looking for more cues is I do want our lovemaking to be more spontaneous and every now and then just be sex.
We have always been spontaneous, and very overt too. Never got the whole schedule thing.
One of us just taking action on our horniness has always been a lot of fun, and hot, especially when it’s a total surprise. It also becomes a challange to the other to come up with a new or even better surprise!
Spontaneous is the best and we have too little of this type of sex. Consider yourself lucky.
When he kisses me, if his hand reaches under my top, caresses my breast, his finger circles my areola then teases my nipple until hard. Squeezes it gently with a tug. I will check if he is able to get an erection. If I want him inside me I have to make sure I can get him fully hard. Otherwise I can just get him off with my hand. To get him really hard I usually talk about one of his fantasies as I play with him. Like us walking naked down a beach. Stimulating his mind seems as important as touching his penis, testicles, nipples and anus. I wish it was still easy like when he would jump to attention just seeing my breasts. But the reward of getting him hard enough to penetrate me is worth the effort.
Thank you for the hot reply. You are talented beyond words and the picture you painted, I'd have to admit, caused a bit of an arousal.
So for us it kind of varies. For example my husband is a very kind and considerate person but sometimes I want him to just want to take me, have his way with me if you will. So when I need that, I will send him a text that says "I'm yours when you get home!" We both know what that means. I will wear side-tie panties so that he can put me in the under-the-mattress restraints we have, do what he wants, and take my panties off when he wants without the need to undo the ankle restraints.
Other times, it's more overt like me discretely handing him my panties under the table at a restaurant or, if we've been teasing each other for a while, I'll just tell him that "I need him inside me, NOW!" He'll do the same and just tell me that he needs to cum in me.
But I'd say that most of the time, we like to play with innuendo and flirting. I may flash him a glimpse of my pussy, pantie covered or bare, or make sure he notices that I'm braless and excited! — Views just for him!
The side-tie panties are such a great idea! As a guy who is still learning and preparing for marriage, I didn't know those existed. I hope to do some bondage play like you described with my future wife (and probably write some fictional stories about it beforehand), so the idea of using side-ties is a big help! Thanks for the idea!
Oooh, I need some of those panties!
My wife has had a few side tie panties, or she will also wear side tie bikini bottoms. Either way, she gets turned on when I untie them to access her parts better after some generous teasing and fabric feel ups.
That is so above the reality of my life it's imagery is intoxicating. Thanks for sharing it's "risen" my day.
My daughter Kristie has a bikini with a side tie bottom. Very cute. Have always thought about buying one myself. We are nudist now so I probably wouldn't wear it much at home, but Ben and I definitely enjoy a little bondage now and then. Would be cute to wear on trips this summer though.
Stay Horny!
? GG
Finally took the first step to becoming comfortable enough to walk down the beach nude. Thanks to those of you that have spoken positively about it. Made my husbands day, no week, no month.
We're now pretty frank with each other but honestly we don't have to telegraph much to each other because sex is a daily thing for us.