Bride-to-be Needs Advice!
Hello everybody,
It’s been a few years since my last post in which I shared my thoughts on visiting my hot married friends. Well, I am happy to share that I am going to be a hot married wifey!
I won’t bug you with the details, but he is a great guy, attractive, we share much in common, and in a few months, we’ll be husband and wife.
I have a lot of questions to ask, but I’ll go with the big one after a conversation that we had yesterday:
We have talked about sex and intimacy. It seems that we are both really (really) excited about the area of sex. Now, while we talked about having realistic expectations for our wedding night and honeymoon and understanding that we will grow in our intimacy as the marriage grows, I want to wow him that first time (well… maybe not the first time, but during the honeymoon). I always wanted to give a blowjob, and I can’t wait to do it for my hubby!
The problem is that I have no idea what to do! Do you know of any resources, tutorials, etc., that teach how to give a great BJ to your hubby (and provide not only text but images or video demonstrations? (Maybe with a banana? Although I am not entirely opposed to watching something more real… is that wrong?)
Help out this rookie wife?
L2W,
Congratulations on your wait coming to an end. There are plenty of avenues of gathering the information you seek. If you search sensual couples, you may find what you are wanting. The main thing is talk with your future spouse. ANY and ALL intimate contact will be special and welcome. The process of learning to be good at any intimate activity is half the fun. There will be things the two of you try and you will think "that was awesome, definitely will be doing that again!" and there may be things that as a couple you are like, "We don't understand what the big deal is all about." Good luck with your research and remember, Edison made hundreds of light bulbs before he got one to work! Enjoy the discovery process.
the process is half the fun. I like that. Thank you
Yes!!! Your posts years ago were my favorite!!! I even asked on this site what happened to Learning2Wait. I’m so excited for your upcoming marriage!
I would not advise this to someone who lands conservatively on the AVE spectrum. But since you said “not entirely opposed,” I would just say go watch some real life BJ videos online. My wife recently watched a couple and learned some new tricks. 🙂 Sorry, but you’re not going to learn much from a “banana video.” I don’t think it’s wrong but also not “advocating any path for others” (thanks Penny for that line). If you get aroused, you can enjoy some masturbation while daydreaming of pleasing your FH’s cock. [Hint, this “research” would make a GREAT post on MH!] ?
Oh thank you! Glad you enjoyed them as I surely enjoyed writing them. Thank you for the tips and you are right… the research has been pretty GREAT. If I could only find time to write.
Suck, lick, moan, twist your tongue around, take it deep, eye contact you can’t go wrong! Don’t know of any videos.
Thank you
You dear precious lady. What a blessing to read something like this. There are two things that i would like to share with you.
1. When you decide to do it the first time, tell your husband that this is new, that you have not done it before, and that you want HIM to direct you and "show and tell" you exactly what he wants and what gives him most pleasure. It might even be a good thing to tell him now (when the time is right) that this is what you would like to do as soon as possible once married. It will bless him out of his socks.
2. I think that making love is supposed to be a fun thing. We are supposed to learn and experiment as we grow in it. So, just the fact that you WANT TO DO IT, already makes you a specialist and a success in the area of giving Blow Jobs.
and lastly….
3. There are many stories about Oral Sex on this site. Go and read a few.
I am so excited about your upcoming marriage. Enjoy it and have sex as much as you can. PRACTICE ! PRACTICE ! PRACTICE !
Learning2Wait, the first four words of ClimaXX's comment are almost exactly what went through my mind when I read your story above. The next thing that went through my mind was basically his second point. I'm sure there's good advice to be had on technique and what-not… but I agree with ClimaXX that you are ALREADY a 'specialist and success.'
Please don't take me literally when I say this (I realize 'kill' is a strong word), but I'd venture to guess that most men would kill to have a woman with your heart as their life partner. Unfortunately, there are probably many men who've read your post and feel a sense of envy, or even despair, as they are in a different situation but are not blind to the possibilities of something different. And I imagine it would be the same in reverse, as to how a woman would feel towards a man who enthusiastically and joyfully yearns (and applies himself) to meet her deepest needs, wants, wishes, etc., because he so loves her. It is impossible to put a price on that kind of blessing! With what you've expressed here, I hope he is that kind of man, one with a heart similar to yours, and that together, you'll mutually bless each other 'out of your socks.'
ClimaXX said it way better. But I couldn't help but agree with what he said. Thanks for sharing this with all of us, and may God bless your marriage. It's very inspiring and heart warming!
Practice, practice, practice! I like that. Thank you
There are many Christian marriage blogs out there that have good instructions on this. I don’t think links work in these comments, but search for “Hot Holy Humorous” and “Awaken Love” as two good resources. Also, the bottom line is pretty much anything you do down there will be appreciated, and you don’t have to be amazing at it or go “all the way” right away (or ever). The most important “skill” is enthusiasm – if he senses it is a chore, it won’t be much fun for either of you. God bless your marriage!
Thank you! Hope the enthusiasm makes up for being nervous 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS! So awesome to hear that one of our hopeful MH authors is getting married. (by the way. Your spring break stories are two of my favorites!!)
My best advice is one you gave yourself: talk to your married friend and ask her how she does it. That will likely lead to even more info about questions you didn't even think to ask and even more importantly the whole married relationship.
If hubby approves, looking forward to hearing some hot stories from you in the near future.
Again, congrats and get ready to enjoy the heck out of yourselves with lots of hot newlywed sex!!
Thank you HH for your advice! Your post brought some interesting twists. I asked her and wow! Also, they offered their house for us to stay as we need to drive through their town after the honeymoon. FH has no idea what is in store for him if we stay there!
My wife and I have a tradition of helping our engaged evangelical friends by getting them two gifts, a vibrator and this gigantic book called "The guide to getting it on." I can't recommend The Guide highly enough. Anything you could have imagined is in there and written in a relatively humorous way. We also appreciate that the book kind of acts like a way to start deprogramming the 'sex is bad' philosophy. Ever wanted to know about how amputees have sex? It's in there, along with 8,000 other things. Lots of goofy illustrations but no photos.
She Comes First and He Comes Next might be worth reading as well. He Comes Next is going to be obviously more oriented around him.
I don't know if they're even still up, but the forums at The Marriage Bed used to be filled with lots of tips and tricks as well.
Thank you, we got the books in your second paragraph. They are great!
What kind of vibrator do you usually get your friends? There are so many types. We are getting mixed counsel about that. If it's a good idea to introduce vibrators that early, but we kinda want to. What are your thoughts?
Congratulations! You go girl!!!
This is gonna sound like a commercial, but in addition to what has already been said, check out Belah Rose, a christian gal, she has a website called delight your marriage and in there she gives great instructions for giving a bj. I think she even has a printable how to guide. She gives Bj's a nickname, "Peni". She also has coaching and courses on seducing your husband and delighting in him, sexual positivity and awaking, and much more. Check it out.
Looks like the Christian Nymphos site is still up too, a blog site for women. However no new content has been on it for years. But check it out
Thank you! I can't seem to be able to find the printable guide.
Learning2Wait – Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. I am happy for you both and what is before you. It is encouraging to hear about this.
My first advice is this: At your ceremony, when you are announced as "Mr. & Mrs…", when you are directed to kiss – put your hand up briefly and say "Just one moment please, I must do one very important thing now that I'm officially married". Then, pull out your phone. The witnesses won't know what your doing, so you may have to tell them later. As your husband and everyone is waiting, open your phone browser to Marriage Heat. Log in and change your user name from 'Learning2Wait' to 'Time2GetitOn'. Then, tell your husband you're ready – then, kiss him.
Seriously, I think your sexual desire is a great signal that you are going to be hungry to give passionate oral sex. You will be unleashed! God will give you the grace to be free and in the moment. There are a lot of stories here on MH – from women especially – who give pointers about being aware of your teeth, sucking, licking, teasing, variety, suction, comfort levels, learning how to relax, and more. Go to that category and you will not be uninformed. God is giving you the wisdom you need. Don't be afraid. Enjoy the ride.
God bless you both. Happy Thanksgiving. LH
LOL, that was great. Thank you!
Congratulations and no harm in asking for pointers. My wife gives the best Fellatio I could ever ask for (Probably why I love it so much). Just remember "Practice Makes Perfect" (BTW we've been married for 34 years). And, learn to swallow so that your husband doesn't have to stop for any reason. I always love to reciprocate by giving her an orgasm (or Two or Three) by eating from her garden afterwards. I love the taste of her sweet nectar (cum). So best advice is to ENJOY what you're doing to him and then kick back and enjoy what he does for you.
Thank you! You both seem to be really lucky and reciprocal!
Hey Learning2Wait—congratulations, such wonderful news on your impending nuptials. We are very happy for you both.
A lot of good advice has already been suggested here, so we have nothing much to add.
However, we live by the old adage “Ladies First.” Too many times our beloved ladies don’t get what they deserve or have to wait until we are almost out of juice.
Encourage him how to go down on you, how to gently explore and enjoy the neighborhood of your lady garden. Show and teach him what makes you happy and brings you pleasure. It may take time; practice makes perfect lol ?. After a while, he will learn to ready your body cues. Didn’t take me long to learn when Kay’s pea and breasts slowly turn a shade of red, and her nipples become erect—she is close. She was a patient teacher and I was and remain an eager learner.
When you choose to go down on him, here are some suggestions. We love eye contact—it makes our wives look powerful, in control and very sensuous. Use your tongue and go slow. We like to be teased, especially the little flap of skin below the head of our dicks. Slowly lick up and down his shaft several times before taking him down your throat nice and slow. It’s normal to have a gag reflex. You both need to communicate, relax and be patient with each other. No rush. Like fine wine, enjoy.
I, for one, especially love to passionately kiss Kay while she is stroking my dick. I like how it looks in her hand. It’s also hot when she literally spits or drools saliva onto my dick. Makes it nice and wet and usually harder. We like to have the bottom of our balls licked too—just be gentle as our balls are very sensitive. That’s why I shave my balls for Kay. It’s also perfect for when she slowly opens her mouth and “swallows” my balls in her mouth and swishes them around.
As suggested, learn to swallow his semen; we love having our cum swallowed. It’s an acquired taste, but it means a lot to us. Maybe try gargling with strong mouthwash shortly before making love or going down on him to help you adjust to his taste. We also like when our wives have us shoot our loads on to their breasts, bottoms, and throats.
Hope this helps. Going down on each other can be more intimate than intercourse and can bring you both a lot of joy and happiness. I’ve been eating Kay’s succulent bush for years which has made her more than willing to pleasure me…sometimes in unexpected settings and places!
Keep us posted and again congratulations!
LadyGarden (K)
(Blushing) Thank you for your tips.. This "when Kay’s pea and breasts slowly turn a shade of red, and her nipples become erect—she is close" was "fun" to read. Taking notes!
There are numerous resource and sites that can help. Praise you for your desire to be such an awesome wife. TheMarriageBed Q&A Forum would be another place to look.
Thank you
Hi, it’s good to see that you’ve decided to take the plunge and try out something which could enhance your sex life… My advice is first to make it known to him that you intend to suck his penis. If he has objections, keep on trying, and I'm sure there will come a time when he will oblige. Always start off slowly and you’ll notice he’ll start taking a liking to it and soon he’ll ask you to let him return the favour. Be bold and allow him, and once that transpires, your sex life will take on a new dimension. If it works out as I anticipate it will, soon your skills will start improving and so will his. Once that is settled, you’ll find it’s going to become a natural part of lovemaking. One thing to remember if you go ahead, the taste is going to be very salty; that is his pre-cum. It will be very stimulating as well. In time, it will start you taking him in deeper into your mouth. By the same token, he is going to want your mound for further exploration. When you have gained sufficient confidence, there will come a time when he’ll ask if you mind swallowing his semen. Don’t refuse, as there is nothing except the taste to contend with. After a few mouthfuls, you won’t even notice the difference, and for his part, he will start sucking out your juices and from then on you do as you please and let him do to your mound as he pleases. That will be the beginning of new experimentations for both of you.
Thank you for the reply. I think he does not have any objections. I told him about my "research" and he ended up having to adjust how he was sitting and I honestly didn't want him to! I might have to slow down on this research!
Congratulations! I remember reading your old posts about the struggles of waiting, and I'm so glad God is rewarding your
patience so richly! Others have given good advice, so here are the highlights that stand out to me:
SexyBeasty's suggestion of eye contact sounds like a 10/10 idea! I can't give much specific advice as I've never been married, but that sounds awesome.
ClimaXX's note that you're already a "specialist and a success" just because you're eager and enthusiastic is totally true. Radiating enthusiasm is always the sexiest thing you can do!
As Happy Hubby noted, talk to your married mentor friend! If your relationship is as good and open as it sounds, she should be able to give you some tips, plus steer you toward other resources or things you didn't even think about!
Several people suggested finding stories with specific tips on MH and other sites, which is a good idea too! Definitely do study how to do things well, but when the time comes, be willing to let go, loosen up and learn by doing!
Communication is cliche but important! Ask him what feels good for him and what you could do differently, better or more. Hopefully he does the same for you! It's hard to imagine anything better than both spouses being actively engaged in learning and eager to serve each other in pleasure!
Be careful about finding videos online, obviously, but I'm not entirely opposed to that idea. Just make sure you stay focused on your goal, and don't get sidetracked by the huge amount of stuff out there that is not at all God-honoring. Keep your soon-to-be-husband and his pleasure in mind as you look up whatever you're going to (and maybe even ask if he's okay with it first so he doesn't feel betrayed if he finds out later).
Finally, realize it might not be the best the first time, or it might be totally awesome! Be open to whatever comes, and know you'll only get better at it as time goes on! Praying that your marriage will thrive in sex and every other way!
Thank you for your thoughful comments. I can see how if I am not careful, expectaions can become unrealistic for me or even of how he might be down there.
I just came across some old videos I had stored for my wife to watch, they are from CherryTV. I have no idea if the content is still out there on the web but I noticed several of them were about blow jobs, they were very candid and honest discussions, suggestions, tips, etc.
Thank you