Is There Something Wrong With Me?
Hello, good readers of MH. I hope to avail myself of your good advice and guidance on an issue that I’ve always had in my sexuality. Before I do, I truly want to thank those who read and left such great comments on my first story I’ve every for MH. Thank you so much.
I hope to receive advice from the gentlemen that may share my problem, as well as the ladies that may have addressed this with their own husbands.
The issue is simply this. As excited and lots of pleasure as I get at receiving oral sex, I could never climax under the excellent affections of my wife. I’ve always been this way. I guess I should start by eliminating what is not the problem. First, it is not my wife. As you may have read in my story, Tropical Delights, I am quite enthralled with my wife’s beauty. I have described her as a goal-driven woman when she gives me oral sex. I love the sight of her. There is nothing like the sight of my wife taking such an exquisitely submissive posture, as I’m sure other wives do, to suck my cock. From this position, she makes me completely surrender as she excellently touches, massages, and keeps her husband’s dick in her mouth. It escalates my rising pleasure. Who wouldn’t yield to such a woman? Second, it is not a matter of my relaxation to allow myself to come. As much as I love to see my wife work me, she keeps me in such a state of surrender that I ultimately lean my head back and close my eyes. I lose myself in the constant and sudden waves of pleasure she sends into my from her mouth through my cock.
I always look forward to receiving oral sex from her. It’s never a disappointment. But it does frustrate her that she can’t bring me to completion. She expects to receive my juices into her mouth.
When I am at my peak, I try to stay under her until I come, but it never happens except when I’m inside her. She has even kept me from pulling her away and continued to suck me for what must’ve been more than 40 mins. I ended up pulling her away with difficulty and putting it inside her until I came.
I hate to disappoint her sexually like this. Does anyone have advice?
Beware of falling into the trap of pressuring yourself to have an orgasm. pressure and anxiety is the kiss of death to sexual arousal and orgasm. Relaxation and letting go is necessary to trigger orgasm. If your wife is becoming upset over your inability to ejaculate, you will feel even more pressured, so, make sure she understands that she, too, must not pressure you. Once you are sure that pressure and anxiety isn't interfering with your arousal process, then, you can study what other factors might be interfering.
A common culprit is lack of adequate stimulation, which can be due to not receiving enough friction during oral sex. Many men learn to ejaculate while they masturbate and they have a hard time (no pun intended) adjusting to the softer touch of the mouth. If this is the problem, manual stimulation may need to be added to your sexual repertoire. Here's how this is done: Your wife should stimulate you with her hand, or any other way that brings you close to orgasm before beginning oral sex. Gradually, the time spent arousing you through other means can be reduced as you train your body to adapt to oral stimulation. When she stimulates your penis, make sure that she focuses on the coronal ridge and on the very sensitive bundle of nerves on the underside of the head of your penis.
I also should mention that you may be suffering from unconscious emotional inhibitions that are blocking your ability to orgasm during oral sex. Did you receive teaching earlier in life that said oral sex was sinful? Does the fact that you would never want to have someone cum in your mouth make you subconsciously not want to do that to her? There may be some detective work for you both to do on this. I recommend that you don’t have oral sex in the bedroom. Perhaps the bedroom is a place your mind associates with intercourse.
Hopefully you will be able to resolve this issue so that oral sex is a source of pleasure rather than anxiety.
If you are able to cum during masturbation, then start that way and have her finish you off once ejaculation begins.
HumbleHusband,
Have your wife stroke your cock with her hand as she sucks on the head. This might help you to cum while enjoying the pleasures of her mouth. Or you can enjoy the blowjob as long as you like, then when you are ready for release, she can stop and jack you off till you are about to cum, then take you back into her mouth.
I read once where this guy had trouble getting off when he and his wife would make love. He would pull out and jack off to the point of ejaculation, then enter her again and cum. My husband Ben will sometimes do this when he has problems getting his nut. Anyway hope this helps!
Stay horny and God bless!
It’s sweet that you want to do this for her. I know she just wants to give you pleasure. There have been several times my husband couldn’t finish with a blow job. I must confess it did make me feel I wasn’t doing something the way he liked it. He assured me he was enjoying what I was doing. He’s just at the age that occasionally he has trouble finishing. However usually if I get both hands and my mouth into the action then he has no trouble. Does she incorporate lots of hands action? Just wondered if that would help.
When we were young marrieds we tried oral a few times, but were very inexperienced. It felt great but I couldn't cum. As I recall, the stimulation wasn't enough, but like I said we were inexperienced. So many years went by before oral was attempted again. Similar results. Then, in the last few years she got some instruction on how to give a good BJ. Cumming is not really a problem now, but it might still be delayed due to feeling too intense. But, BJ's still are pretty rare.
I had this issue. I visited a urologist before I got married. I told him my “ issue“ of not being able to finish. He told me “Have you discussed this with her? “. I told him “Yes ! “. He then asked, “You love her, right?“. “Of course!“ I responded. He then said “Tell her your likes, dislikes, fantasies, etc. This should help you tremendously!“. My wife & I openly talked & the “problem“ soon went away.
Open communication is key!
Good communications is definitely to the to everything! The more we talk about what we want and show each other, the better sex gets!
I completely agree! Communication is definitely the key to great sex and orgasm.
You are a bless man if your wife is dying to let you come in her mouth. My wife never liked the taste in her mouth. Has happen twice in 18 years. She does an amazing job of getting me right to the edge though. Point is, I’ve trained myself not too. Not sure I could if I want too. Maybe it's not your thing, which is okay. But if it is her thing now, maybe try teasing her with it for a few days. Wait like three or four days until your body needs a release badly. Text her and tell her what you're going to do to her, so it builds up sexual energy for a while.
That's what we do. If I can't go fast enough in her mouth or vagina, which is most of the time, I pull out and jack off till I'm about to cum and then reinsert in her mouth or vagina to shoot my cum. She loves it. We don't have a mess to clean up and we both feel good. She will usually use a vibrator for self stimulation after that because she has such a low sex drive and needs the continuousness of it for her pleasure. At this age, I just can't go fast enough or long enough for her. 🙁
Plan ahead. Talk about the scenario whereby you folks will do your thing. As you approach the point of no return, she can maneuver into position to take your cum orally. If you have to go to and fro a couple times, that is perfectly okay. Have fun with it. Make it a sexually fun game. Don't stress over the end result. Enjoy the journey, and then one day it will happen and likely open the door for a straight forward bj until orgasm.
I just re-read this post and the comments, so I have another suggestion. Are you ok with anal play and have you tried while she is giving you oral? Sometimes when my wife gives me oral she starts to tickle and caress my rosebud when I am getting close to orgasm. This intensifies the pleasure, and when done at the right time will get me over the edge more easily.