Tips for Pleasing My Wife Orally

Hello all!  I’ve visited this site for a long time, but only today got the courage to finally make an account and post something, as I am looking for some advice on pleasing my wife orally

My wife and I are in our third year of marriage.  I love being married.  Everything in life is made better by having my amazing wife by my side.  I’ve never met a human being who cares for me in the special way she does, and I would be lost wandering the woods if she weren’t in my life.

My wife and I share a very healthy sex life, and we like to think ourselves adventurous.  From passionate lovemaking to lazy day thrusting to the kinky, we’re good pretty at mixing it up.  One of the ways I feel I’ve always let my wife down in the bedroom, though, is in the area of going down and pleasing her incredible lady bits.

I was a virgin of 24 years before we met.  I’ve never watched porn and never even started researching things about sex until after we married.  She has had more experience in all areas than me.  The way she gives to me leaves me speechless, and I’d just love to show her that I still care about surprising her with new things in the bedroom.

I go down on her, more so in the last year than ever before.  I LOVE it, and so does she, but I really feel I lack in spicing it up for her in the same way she does for me when she pleases me.

To all the married men and women out there, are there any suggestions you might be able to give me?  What are things your wives like or things you like that your husband does to you?

Thanks for any help given 🙂

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10 replies
  1. Southernheat says:

    So sweet that you want to keep learning and keep growing in your sexuality. We were virgins as well almost 33 years ago. He’s improved through the years on the oral and finger skills but was still a bit of work on my part to orgasm from it which was disappointing to him at times. When I would show him or tell him something that wasn’t quiet working he would get his feelings hurt so I quit, leaving me a little disappointed. A few years ago I got him the book She Comes First by Ian Kerner all about oral pleasure and got myself Ian Kerner's book The Passionista; Pleasing Men. I think he finally understood just how sensitive women’s clits are, how soft touch is just as intense and usually better, and how rhythm and pattern is so important. If it’s working and she is climbing, don’t change it up. Don’t get more enthusiastic, going faster and harder, or we ladies have to start all over building again. Consistent motion is so important for me. Soft licks from bottom to top with flat tongue, then lick around the labia. She’s probably more sensitive on one side than the other; I know I am and he’s figured that out. Then soft circles on the clit or soft sucking. Very softly thrust your tongue in her pussy a few times, then back to teasing her softly. Let it build. Follow her responses. Now I can tell him softer or harder, faster, slower, or right here, not there and he listens and doesn’t get offended. He’s learned better how to finger my gspot; It’s heavenly! Just took lots of communication, and he studied some as well! There are other books and resources out there: some YouTube videos by Jason Julius on pleasing a woman are very informative. He has lots of tips on oral and gspot to help men learn. Hope this helps. Most importantly, just don’t stress. Take your time and be gentle. Let us know later if all the community advice made a difference!

  2. JJ says:

    Second the recommendation of the Ian Kerner books. Minimum start with “She Comes First.” Learn the techniques and put her pleasure as the primary focus of your love making.

  3. Tulsa says:

    Some thoughts…..

    First Tip: Talk to your wife! Or, more to it, get her to talk to you! By the sounds of things, different women like different things when they get oral, so she can tell you "a little higher", or "a little slower"….whatever it may be. Cuts out a lot of guessing we found out! Don't be afraid or insulted by ANY criticism, or what you perceive as criticism.
    You can also learn just by sitting down and talking about it. "I like this…and that"…or "want to try this"… No doubt, the conversation will lead to testing any new found knowledge!
    Second Tip: Do something with your hands while your going after her with your tongue! Slip a finger or two in her. Reach up, and play with her nipples. Use your fingers or thumbs to spread her open, for better access to her clit. (My wife did that for me to show me!)
    Third Tip: Take your time. Diving right in there and wildly sucking on her clit, is not the way to go. (Although, some wives may like it) Tease a little. Work your way to her clit, slowly, and when you get there, be gentle.

    So much to experiment with!
    Other than quickies, I do oral on my wife every time we make love, so close to 40 years of learning!
    She prefers I start out nice & easy, but as I go on, to get more & more forceful, and fast. Until she gets close to O, she likes me to move around a bit, and go from her clit, to 'tonguing' her vagina. As her O is on the way…..I head for her clit, and I pick up tongue speed!
    She likes toys, so on our list, is oral while using a dildo in her. Great fun! First time we did that, I shot my load on the bed it was so exciting!
    And, my wife, really loves oral, after sex. When we do that, it's face in there and attack her pussy, and she cums like crazy, and fast! Messy, but it's her favorite thing, and her orgasms are so much more intense.

    Like JJ said. Make it all about her, and her orgasm, or better yet, orgasms.
    It's great that you want to satisfy her!

    • Southernheat says:

      Great advice! Love it after sex such intense orgasm but he doesn’t like to taste his cum so doesn’t do that often. Best advice: talk; communicate!

  4. HappyHubby says:

    I'm commenting only to reinforce the message already given… Talk to her and ask her. A great way to do this is to open the conversation about pleasing her orally and plan a session where the goal isn't orgasm but to have her teach you what feels good. Have her show you if she will and then coach you as you "practice ". What pleases my wife can differ slightly every session so it is a bit of an ongoing challenge and communication always remains key.
    One thing I did discover is that probing and applying pressure to her rosebud when she is close to climax then removing the pressure during orgasm took things to another level for her.
    Have fun practicing!

  5. Tulsa says:

    Yup! I agree with all!
    Communication is the key!
    That, will get you to the details, and the details will vary, and they will vary between wives, and what husbands will do!
    Talkin' about it will figure that out. Trust me!

  6. Beezie19j says:

    I would recommend encouraging her to be more vocal as it’s happening. Don’t be afraid to ask her if this pace is working, or if you need to be gentler or not. And be ready to follow directions. Variety is definitely good. And don’t get discouraged if there’s not always an orgasm. Sometimes it doesn’t happen even if you’re blowing her mind. And never be afraid to experiment.

  7. YumYum says:

    I love the ways my husband sucks on me. He loves sucking my pussy & sometime he can't get enough. My husband would suck me to sleep every night if I allowed him to do so. Using his fingers as he sucks me makes me so wet & I love holding his head in my hands and guiding him as I squirm & cum in his mouth. Something I have always loved is an invitation from my husband to fuck his mouth. He loves sucking my sweet, shaved pussy. And I love feeding it to him. He has always enjoyed sucking my pussy & making me cum since our first night together.The honey from my cunt is given to my husband any time he wants it. He makes my pussy pulse every time he sucks me. I do so love my husband !!!

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