After having been married for 30 years and now being alone again, there are times when I need to still release sexual energy. I have 30 years of memories to recall, although recalling pains has gotten harder over the years. Thankfully our wonderful Lord created our bodies in such a way that when needed, we can meet our own physical needs until such time as we are remarried. But for some of us, remarriage may never happen. So what do you do with the fact that when you lose your spouse, a little switch does not get turned off in your brain so that your reproductive system no longer needs to function?
Over the years since 2010, I have, out of necessity, had to explore this topic and hoped to share with you some of what I discovered. As I endeavor to always do, I started with the Bible. What I discovered was that song of Solomon is not an allegory at all. Having read different studies by experts in Hebrew, I was able to see that there are numerous figures of speech that are used to allude to sexual activity of many sorts. One question immediately came to mind, as I had already resolved this issue during our marriage. If God is against all erotica, why did he stick an eight chapter book full of it in the middle of the Bible? It was then that I concluded that whatever practices were alluded to in the Song of Solomon in a favorable way were also approved by God.
Things alluded to include oral-genital stimulation, masturbation, and stimulation using the hands as well as sexual intercourse. (On another topic, the wedding isn’t until chapter 4, but a lot of this is going on in the first three chapters. That’s for another post.) So anyway, I reasoned that I was free to look at whatever the God-breathed, inspired scripture in the Song of Solomon approves. I considered written erotica of the ancient near East the equivalent of pictures today.
So over the years, I have experimented with different lubricants, positions, and stimuli for creating the release of seed at the end of my activity. Ironically, what has stimulated me the most are pictures and video clips of other people who are also masturbating. It’s like a race to see who can finish first. In addition, audio of people engaged in intercourse has become a quite effective stimulus. I know it’s a practice to which many here might object, but I have no qualms of conscience about the few married friends I have who allow me to observe what they are doing while I am stimulating myself on the other side of the screen. They pretty much forget I’m there.
What do you do when you can’t have your spouse? Ladies, is the handheld showerhead your best friend? Are vibrators essential? Men, give us some ideas for what you do. Just curious how others who are reduced to solo sexuality or who supplement their marital sex with masturbation meet their own needs.
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