So Many Inquires
I think it is safe to assume that “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” is a pretty sound and accurate statement when it comes to sex. That being the case, I thought it might be interesting to visit Venus and find out exactly what different idea women hold concerning sex, as well as what sexual things women find to be of similar interest to them and their husbands.
First question would be to you wives out there: Men are known to be visually stimulated sexually. I don’t think that there’s any contradictory evidence to that fact. My wife tells me that she’s not very visually stimulated. For instance, she’s told me that seeing a picture of naked guy doesn’t rev her up. Crossing paths with an attractive guy, she doesn’t stop and think about him in a sexual way. How many of you wives out there are prone to being visually stimulated? How many of you find a guy’s body to be something that you might “check out” in the same fashion men would do when seeing an attractive women?
Another question would be one specific to your marriage: What is about your husband that makes you horny? What is it that causes you to go from being not all that interested in sex with him to the point of you feeling like, “I gotta have some of that?” I ask because men, as we all know, have a very easy trip mechanism when it comes to being in need of “some of that.”
Oral sex; how many of you ladies out there in MH land give your husband blow jobs simply as an act of wanting to please him? And how many of you on the other hand find that giving head is not only a turn on for him but for you as well?
How many of you wives find that you’re aroused by your husband’s attention to your breasts? And countering that question; for how many find the pleasure of having “your girls” fondled and sucked on is more about your husbands pleasure in doing so rather than something that directly causes your arousal?
Outside of the bedroom, what things unrelated to sex might your husband do that cause you to want to have sex with him?
How many of you ladies would agree to go to a topless beach with your husband if he asked you? And how many of you might agree to hit the sands of a “clothing optional” if he desired it. Would you be willing to go topless? (Asking this one because it’s always been one of my fantasies to see my wife topless on a beach somewhere).
So, there you have it. Just a short survey to discover just how far apart the planets of Mars and Venus really are in relation to married sex. Side Bar: it’s wonderful to know that the gift of sex given to marriage is being fully and frequently unwrapped by Christian couples such as yourselves!
Speaking for my wife on question 1, she is as visual as I am when it comes to sex! I figured this out years ago, when she was giving me a handy one night, and as I was getting close to cumming, she jumped up, turned on the light, and said, 'I want to see this!'.
I also caught her masturbating, and she was using pictures of us as stimulation. No doubt about that, as she had pics all around her on the bed!
And, just a few weeks ago after I went to bed already, she called me and asked if I could do something for her real quick in the kitchen. 'You don't need to get dressed' she said. 'It'll only take a second.'. So I wander out there, not a stitch on, and ask what she wanted. She says 'Nothing. I just wanted to watch your parts flop around!' She got me again. It's happened more than once! (No, I don't mind!)
So, I guess she doesn't fit the norm!
Good Questions.
My wife is less visually stimulated than I. But it does not mean that she is not visually stimulated at all. We both comment on how attractive someone is. And she likes to see me dressed up nicely. Although retired we both get fully dressed in decent clothing everyday. We rarely spend a day lounging around in old sweats. We play dress up sometimes with her in sexy lingerie and me in thematic boxer shorts. She loves to pull the boxers down for the “pop-up toy” reveal!
I’m still single, but as a lady I find myself often visually stimulated. I like good looking guys, but for me to really want them I need to see kindness in them. That said, I often say guys shouldn’t go topless on the beach if they don’t want me to look at them. Now it doesn’t necessarily mean I want to have sex with them (I’m waiting for marriage, so no), but I definitely admire their assets. ? I check out guys behinds every now and then too. I admire their strong arms and legs, the manly chiseled chin. I would say I am visually stimulated but need to see kindness and respect and honour from a man before I really desire to date or be with him. I often dream of the things I would do to please my husband someday. I don’t understand the idea of shutting off the lights. I want to be able to see his eyes and facial expressions when that day finally comes. ?
My wife & I use three halite lamps. They are chunks of rock salt with a light inside. They cast a kind of firelight glow in the room. We almost never make love in the dark.
Thanks for sharing! I think it’s totally healthy for a Christian single to be actively fantasizing about stuff they one day plan to do with their spouse. A good jack or jill will relieve some of that natural sexual desire in a healthy way!
Do you wonder about their cock? Shape and size? Or does that not come into your thinking?
Great questions. I'm nearly as visually stimulated as my husband, but I'm also highly turned on by what he says and sounds he makes. What sends me over the moon is when he SAYS exactly what he wants to do or have done to him. For example, yesterday morning, as I sat in bed perusing my tablet, out of the blue he demanded, "I want you to get ready because I'm going to come back and suck on your delicious tits!" My pussy's response was instantaneous as it spasmed and I jumped, letting out an involuntary moan. He knows so well what gets me going! I ended up having an incredible orgasm! Another thing that gets me really revved up is when he whispers fantasies to me with his cock inside me. Hmmmm! Re a topless or nude beach, absolutely I would go! It's he who is reluctant, I suspect because he's afraid he'd have a constant erection. ?
From 40 yrs experience with my wife who is very conservative and won't read MarriageHeat so I'm probably answering from the most conversative side of your questions:
My wife isn't visually turned on.
Oral sex; only 6 blow jobs I can remember, and I had to insist on the last 5. Hmmmm? I give her oral a minimum of 6 times per month.
How many of you wives find that you’re aroused by your husband’s attention to your breasts? She loves it when I fondle her breasts. I've been able to get her to orgasm by playing with just her breasts. I must be a master of this.
How many of you ladies would agree to go to a topless beach with your husband if he asked you? And how many of you might agree to hit the sands of a “clothing optional” if he desired it. I can positively answer this for my wife. NEVER! under any circumstances!
Need more women to chime in here! Finally got a chance to get my wife's take on these questions. The below are direct quotes from her.
Is she visually stimulated? "Yes. Of course."
What is it that causes her to go from being not all that interested in sex with me to the point of her feeling like, “I gotta have some of that?” Her answer: "Basically knowing you're gonna fuck me hard."
On her breasts being fondled? "You know I love that." My take as her husband: Pleasuring her breasts is the gateway to her pussy.
On giving me head: "It's one of my favorite things." My take: That it's one of her favorite things is backed up by solid evidence. Trust me.
On what I do outside the bedroom to get her turned on: "Basically just telling me you want to get it on is enough. Also, seeing you in environments where you're in charge turns me on."
On going topless or clothing optional: "Depends on the situation but probably. I'm proud of my body, you know?" My take: She has gone topless a good bit when we go backcountry camping and backpacking and once we went all out nude at a beach in Kauai.
I think many women are visually stimulated. Occasionally I find myself checking out guys or even fantasizing about sex with them if they are attractive. I love looking at my husband naked. He loves being naked to and is confident in his nakedness. Turns me on just seeing him be all male and strong and his caught me staring at him alot. Definitely visual
I think the answer is obvious… Of course women are visually stimulated! We have eyes too, don't we?! Lol.
I will also sometimes have a little sex fantasy about a hot stranger that I saw when they're "visually stimulating."
That's quite hot that even though you're a wife dedicated to your husband, but admittedly still you've fantasized about having sex with a hot stranger.
Do you tell your husband when you fantasize about having sex with that really hot guy that you saw? If so does it turn him on and ignite some hot sex afterwards?
My husband and I both do this with each other. I think it's fun and healthy sometimes, but of course you have to have good communication and understanding with your spouse.
I've talked dirty to him in bed before about some hot stranger I had been fantasizing about screwing. It's inspired some really hot sex plenty of times.
I think playing with and enjoying fantasy sex is a great thing, not just within your marriage but also as an individual.
Lilay69, that is awesome and I think it is super healthy in my opinion. Men are visual as well. I feel it's healthy to look as long as you don't touch.
One night a few weeks ago, we were fooling around on our bedroom floor, and I told her about this attractive woman that waited on me in a fruit bowl place—how I couldn't believe how she drove me crazy w/ her tits hanging out of her tank top and her see through leggings. It turned my wife on so much that, yes, I got worked up by seeing that chic, but I came home to her to take care of my needs.
I have to admit my husband getting turned on by another woman’s breasts used to make me jealous. But once I was certain that excitement he felt only made him want my tits more I accepted it. Why should I care who got blood flowing to his penis, as long as it ended up inside me. Then I learned that even my not special boobs turned others on, I finally not only understood but enjoyed it.
I am a VERY visual person in many ways including fashion, home design ideas, artistic styles, and yes, checking out men other than my hubby – but I will not hesitate to mention to Jim that I saw a hot guy in the grocery store today. Jim realizes that I really appreciate a hot body and he also knows I only have meaningful eyes for him.
We have been to a few topless beaches and it’s funny, we never check out other bodies there, we are just getting off on showing off I guess. Sounds bad but I’m just being honest.
Thanks
For me visual sexual stimulation was something I had to learn or more accurately, I had to unlearn that it was wrong to be turned on by the visual. The concept that the stimulation must only come from a spouse is another fallacy we have been programmed to believe. My husband was very turned on by others observing my body which as others have mentioned, led to fantasy talk during sex. Such as him saying “that tall young guy really wanted to feel your boobs” or “that woman with great tits was having bi thoughts looking at you, I bet you would enjoy her soft touch”. This was all new to me but I began to love the game.
Secondly being raised to think modesty was the way to behave, I was furthest from an being an exhibitionist. My husband had those feelings for me. At least at first. After the topless and nude experiences I admit I started to have a bit of a tingle that my ordinary body was being enjoyed and that made blood rush in my husbands body.
Visually I even stopped turning away from pictures like we have here on MH. I started to appreciate sexy breasts a great butt, and yes even seeing cocks.
I am now certain these little pleasures are good and we should never have been told not to enjoy them. That much is clear. Any steps beyond that, such as sex in the same room becomes debatable. But remember we are people not animals we can be stimulated yet remain in control and not take the final step and swap or group activity.
I’m with you SM. I find that openly sharing my thoughts of a sexual nature with hubby is most always a good thing. Mentioning to Jim that what looks like a stiff cock on a guy in tight pants walking towards us would most likely prompt a response like, “What do you expect, he has a massive boner from watching your tits bouncing freely under your halter top. You know mine is hard watching him watching you.”
We discuss this stuff freely out and about and in the bedroom… where we like to take turns who talks while the other has their mouth full. 🙂