We Did a Professional Porn. Here’s Our Story.

We finally did it.

After accumulating an extensive collection of amateurish, homemade sex tapes going all the way back to 2004, we finally hired a professional to shoot a “porn” video of us—two videos, to be exact.

I have thought a lot about how I should approach this on MarriageHeat. I could write several thousand words going into our thought process, how we found the video crew, conversations we had with them before we inked the contract, legal steps we took to ensure the protection of our privacy, specifics of the actual video shoots, etc. Here, I’ll offer an appropriate level of detail without crossing any lines.

I want to emphasize that this was all very hush-hush, carefully planned out, and totally consensual between Lauren and me. At first blush, hiring a professional crew to shoot you and your spouse having hardcore sex may seem over-the-top. Quite honestly, it is the wildest thing we’ve ever done. But when you step back and think about it, is it really that crazy? Sex is a vital part of a healthy marriage. Every married couple we know has sex. They know we have sex. Why should Lauren and I then feel ashamed about hiring a video crew to shoot us doing what almost every happily married couple does: have sex?

On a trusted referral, we hired a video company owned and operated by a husband and wife. We’ll call them Ashley and Dave. The referral came from a married couple we know who are past clients of Ashley and Dave, meaning they were in the know. After trading a few e-mails, we met with Ashley and Dave at their studio. About ten years younger than we are, they seemed to us very “normal” people with two young kids. They told us they do a lot of different kinds of video projects, including corporate, and on the side, they do sex tapes for couples. They said they are very selective about the couples they work with, mostly operating on referrals, and keep that line of their work confidential. We told them what we wanted—all with 4K technology—and they told us they could deliver on it. Step one was a confidentiality agreement. After that was signed, they wrote up a scope of work that we agreed to, and then we signed the contract.

Under the terms of the contract, we hired Ashley and Dave to make what would look and feel like two professional hardcore porn videos of Lauren and me. Lauren wasn’t as hung up as I about the videos being hardcore, but I told her I wanted them graphic, with close-ups. She agreed. Because these would be very explicit videos, we required Ashley and Dave to sign an extra confidentiality agreement, which did cause a bit of tension at first. Fortunately, they cared just as much about confidentiality as we did and signed after considerable back and forth.

The whole experience was very professional. No monogamy lines were crossed, nor was there ever any temptation. We shot the two scenes over a late morning and early afternoon at their studio. Their studio consisted of a kitchen and a large room with a sofa, a bed, and some furniture. It was crazy cold at first, but then they cranked up the heat and turned on their lights, and we got more relaxed and comfortable.

Before the first shoot, Ashley professionally made-up Lauren’s face and chest. In-person, it looked like too much makeup to me. Her cheeks were rosy, and the makeup included some glitter. On camera, as we later found out, it was incredible; Lauren looked smoking hot. Lauren had also gotten a full Brazilian wax a few days prior as she wanted an ultra-smooth look. Her pussy looked stellar. And she had her hair cut and colored; she wanted to look her best—and she did. That day, as the first scene got underway, I told Lauren she looked like she could be an actual porn star, and I meant it. Ashley and Dave agreed. Lauren laughed.

We were so nervous at first. The most nerve-wracking thing of all for me was getting naked and then getting hard! Lauren didn’t so much mind getting naked, but actual sexual acts while being filmed by the crew required some getting used to. In the first scene, Lauren had on her red dress with only a garter belt and thigh-highs. With the camera rolling, she stood in the kitchen drinking a glass of wine when I—totally naked and erect—came in behind her and cupped her breasts. We then started kissing, and her dress came off, exposing her naked body.

Under the plan, the first scene started in the kitchen and finished on the bed. Aside from that, there wasn’t much of a pre-planned script, but we did talk through some specifics, such as that we wanted certain graphic angles, and I wanted it to end with a cumshot (which caused Lauren to roll her eyes playfully). The first scene took about two hours to shoot, with only about 75 minutes of it consisting of sexual acts. Ashley and Dave then cut down those 75 minutes to a 45-minute scene.

The crew had three cameras, bright lights, and two boom mics all around us. Occasionally, they’d interject to ask us to slightly shift our positioning so they could get an ideal angle or better lighting since we wanted it all to be graphic. Scene one consisted of a foreplay blowjob, me eating Lauren’s pussy until she orgasmed, doggy style sex with ass-slapping, lots of masturbation, and a few ropes of cum shot on her ass and back. Something that really amazed me: Except for some massive butterflies that seemed to dissipate quickly once we got started, Lauren wasn’t shy at all while the first scene unfolded.

I was very aware of the crew all around us—the cameras, the lights, the boom mics, the occasional interruptions. As my cock was in her mouth, there was a camera maybe two feet away. It was the same when I was eating her pussy. We rarely had the opportunity to go five or six minutes without some adjustment the crew asked us to make, except for the final ten minutes, which resulted in a second orgasm for her and my ejaculation.

The whole first scene is incredibly hot, and there are a few moments that really stick out when you watch it all the way through. One is when she’s sucking my cock and has her eyes on the camera. (I was on my knees next to her, and she was lying down with her legs spread and masturbating). She has a look of true enjoyment as her lips are wrapped around my manhood. The second was when I was eating her pussy. The camera gets a few closeups of my tongue licking her vagina, and it just looks so stellar. But what gets me the most are the cut-away shots of her face—she is clearly in ecstasy. It’s just so sexy. Finally, when we’re in doggy-style, the crew got some absolutely stunning shots—closeups, wide shots, even a few that got within inches of my cock plunging in and out of her. The sounds of the wet sex while in doggy-style are so intense. And the cumshot on her ass and back was incredible! The crew did some editing touchups to make the semen on her ass and back glisten, and they even zoomed in to show the creamy fluid.

After we cleaned up from scene one, the crew gave us each a bathrobe, and then we had some coffee and lunch. They had fancy box lunches brought in and gave us the VIP treatment. Over lunch, we discussed logistics for the second scene and shared parenting stories. Sitting there with Ashley and Dave, it occurred to me that they had seen Lauren and me involved in the most intimate acts imaginable. I mentioned this. Ever the professionals, they played it cool, remarking on several occasions how good Lauren and I looked at ages 46 and 47, respectively.

The plan for scene two, at my request, was for it to end with a facial cumshot. This was one request I made of Lauren several days before the shoot. Ordinarily, a facial would be no big deal, but being shot on camera by others was a different matter altogether. She initially rebuffed my request, and I respected her wishes. But then, after lunch, she quietly took me aside and told me I could do it. Disrobing, we again walked through what would happen in scene two with the crew, including the cumshot on Lauren’s face, or as we agreed, “ejaculating on Lauren’s face.”

Scene two started with us “waking up” in the morning, both naked in bed. After some mutual masturbation, we got into 69, a position we rarely do, and the crew shot very close up—one camera on her sucking me off, one on me licking her clit. After some short discussion with the crew, Lauren got on top of me and rode me reverse cowgirl. Her pussy was insanely wet, a dead giveaway that she was really enjoying herself.

The crew did some of their best work while Lauren rode me. She leaned forward just enough that Dave shot some spectacular angles of her ass and my cock plunging in and out of her pussy, while Ashley got the most amazing angles looking up at Lauren while she rode me. They also got some shots of our faces, which were VERY awkward for us to watch on first viewing. Have you ever really seen your face when you’re experiencing intense sexual pleasure? It’s strange. Nonetheless, the 12 minutes of reverse cowgirl that Dave and Ashley shot, including the sounds, are probably the best 12 minutes in any of the two scenes!

A few words on the audio. Both scenes feature a lot of heavy breathing and light moaning, along with a fair amount of grunting. We didn’t do a lot of talking, but there were a few naughty things said in the act. What really stood out are the sloshy sounds of wet vaginal intercourse that the crew recorded. They did a spectacular job with audio.

Back to scene two! After Lauren orgasmed, it was time for me cum. I couldn’t hold it much longer. By this time, we’d been in scene two for easily an hour and a half. Lauren lay on her side, and I got on my knees; she took my cock in her mouth, sucking me off. This would be the penultimate facial scene. Two of the cameras got very close, both within two feet with the third farther off for a wider angle. The boom mic picked up my heavy breathing, and another picked up the sounds of a delicious blowjob.

The four minutes Lauren sucked me off while masturbating to end scene two are the stuff of marital legend. Just seconds before I ejaculated, she started working my shaft back and forth with her thumb and index finger as my glans was pressed against her tongue. Her eyes locked on mine while the cameras, both a few feet away, recorded all of the action. Then I felt the rush and almost blacked out as I came, shooting ropes of semen on her tongue and face. It wasn’t a huge load—I’d cum that morning—but it was enough for a good mess. She had my cum all over her tongue and face, and then she milked me dry in her mouth, the cameras getting it all.

So, there you have it. Both scenes are extremely graphic, very XXX. There are no details left to the imagination. Graphically depicted are oral sex, vaginal sex, masturbation, basically every detail of our bodies, anal stimulation (which I never mentioned above), and ejaculation—all key ingredients of hardcore porn. Lauren and I definitely plan to shoot more videos and will absolutely use Ashley and Dave for those.

We have the raw footage, and both produced videos. The raw footage is quite fun to watch, but it is surreal to watch the two produced videos of Lauren and me in what very much appear to be professional porns…starring us! I have to say my wife could easily pass for a porn star even at age 46.

Both the raw footage and produced videos are under lock and key in a high-end safe in our house—along with all of the flash drives of homemade videos we’ve made since 2004. The question of if our son one day gains possession of the videos and how they may make him feel has been discussed. While we hope that doesn’t happen, if it ever were to occur, at least he’d know his parents loved and sexually enjoyed each other. Quite frankly, we aren’t ashamed at all of making these videos.

The cost to do the two videos was very high. The crew told us these kinds of videos aren’t that uncommon for couples who can afford to have them done. They said we’d “be surprised” how many couples they shoot and some of the fetishes they’ve seen. They said we are more on the “normal” side.

All in all, it was an incredible experience. We have watched the videos several times and also enjoy playing them in the background while we’re intimate with each other.

Incidentally, the third-party couple who referred us to Ashley and Dave have seen our videos, and we have seen theirs. There is a strong understanding between us as couples, and we felt we could watch each other’s videos without the risk of crossing lines in the heat of passion—and we managed to hold that line though there was plenty of marital passion while viewing the scenes. It’s abundantly clear from comparing their video to ours that Ashley and Dave are top-notch professionals. They do simply spectacular work.

We are already discussing the next set of videos.

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43 replies
    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Agree! And we have also seen our friends' scenes and they are also wonderful blessings of marital love. So long as monogamy lines are not crossed, sex is nothing to be feared.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Indeed. Watching the two scenes is really pretty surreal as that's us in what looks exactly like a professional XXX porn. It's really wild.

  1. Tangosierra says:

    This is hot for many reasons! I love that you both were willing to be open and vulnerable and have sex in front of someone who filmed it. I want to do this so badly, but I don't think it will ever happen. Kudos to you!

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thanks! Watching the two scenes is really pretty surreal as that's us in what looks exactly like a professional XXX porn. It's really wild and I have to say my wife in both scenes looks smokin' hot. She looks good in real life but on the two scenes it just blows my mind how she looks.

  2. Stevie says:

    Marriedtoahotbabe, that is so sexy and hot. Thank you for sharing. It sounds so romantic to share that experience. So glad you fulfilled your dream. Sounds like Ashley and Dave were very professional and that is awesome.

  3. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    You know, the more I think about this, the less I think it is actually porn; In fact, it's almost reverse porn. Instead of getting paid to have sex on camera, you guys spent money to have a professional, discreet team provide a service you couldn't manage well on your own. They helped you created a keepsake that you will be able to enjoy indefinitely, no matter what the future holds.

    I know many people who would do well to avoid swapping such videos the way you chose to with your trusted married friends, especially if any of the parties had issues with desire for others besides their spouse. It wouldn't "build them up in righteousness", to use Bible-speak. But I can't say that it doesn't fill my heart with an innocent sort of pleasure to think of friends taking joy in each other's enjoyment of exclusive marital sex without desiring to insert themselves into the relationship inappropriately.

    Honestly, I'm a little amazed that we aren't hearing any dissenting voices so far. Maybe there should be a discussion post about the subject?

    • MarriageHeat says:

      We did actually get a Feedback response from someone who felt that this story did not depict "married sex as it was intended," but the person declined to make a comment. I hope everyone knows by now that all opinions are welcome as long as they are offered respectfully.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thanks! I never actually thought of it as "reverse porn" but you raise a great point. I want to be clear that we are a 100% monogamous couple. Every healthy married couple has sex and so what's really to hide about it? We had monogamous sex with a crew filming us. Did we spice things up a bit to make it look like a real hardcore porn video? Yes. But it was between the two of us.

      As for the other couple, we have also seen their videos and they are equally as hardcore. We are two couples who are ardently monogamous and play off each other a bit, without crossing lines, to spice things up. Their view on all of this is much the same as ours as expressed above.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      MarriageHeat, thanks for sharing the dissenting message you got. I certainly understand that this is a subject not everyone will agree with.

  4. hornyGG says:

    This story was 🔥 🔥 🔥! Personally I think it is great that you two are so comfortable with your bodies and sexuality. I don't think of what you did as porn at all. I have a dear friend ( former client) who is a professional photographer and videographer. She did did my erotic photo shoot for the album I made for Ben. I have thought about the idea of her video taping Ben and I. I mentioned it to Ben, but he declined, saying he would feel too uncomfortable. So that's out! Our tripod seems to work ok! We just don't get the close ups. Don't think I could go for sharing videos or personal pictures however. Just would feel too awkward. And Ben definitely wouldn't go for it.
    Anyway, keep writing and stay horny darlin!

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thank you, HornyGG! Coming from you, that means a lot. We were nervous and we did a lot of due-diligence before we inked the contract and showed up at the studio. Dave and Ashley really set us at ease as they were so professional. As you kind of alluded to, a lot of photographers and videographers do this kind of work on the side. We are already talking about doing more videos with Ashley and Dave, one more soft-core and artsy and one very hardcore along the lines of what we just did.

  5. TLC2383 says:

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. This is something I would love to do but my wife would never agree. I almost have her ready for a boudoir shoot; maybe that will help ease her concerns a bit, but this will most likely only ever be a fantasy for me.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thanks! There is a very big difference between a boudoir shoot and doing what is essentially a XXX hardcore porn with other videoing you in the act. But I hope your wife would be open to it as it was a lot of fun for us.

  6. catlover says:

    First, my wife would never do it. But, i bet if a couple wanted to do it they could stage before hand their positions on the bed or shower etc. Much like stage performers do knowing the exact place they are to be in a scene. Then with three or four or more 4k phones focused exactly on the shots for close ups and wide angles, all recording at the same time to capture the video from various perspectives. Then it would be a matter of you editing your video to splice it all together for a single movie. once it was staged, the closeup cameras would not auto focus as you had already tested their focus. lts say, a camera underneath, one on each side, one front and one rear and two wide shots, maybe using a large mirror to give alternate views. just an idea.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Interesting ideas. We have been experimenting with video since 2004 but have never tried multiple cameras. Most of what we have has been shot with either a tripod or via point of view. All that said, the scenes we shot with Dave and Ashley are top-notch professional and look like real high-production porn films–they are smooth, they flow, the 4K technology makes it all pop, the transitions flow and the lighting and audio are superb. It would be next to impossible to recreate what we did with the professional crew on an amateur basis but what you have shared is interesting!

  7. Always Horny says:

    I’m commenting because MH said that all comments are welcome.

    You know what shocks me most about this post is everyone in the comments is affirming this behaviour & ideology. That’s a big concern, dude.

    No matter what reasoning you try & give it’s all justification for your sin. I believe this is straight-up sexual immorality, and I 100% stand by that.

    To invite outside people into your marriage bed paying them & letting them film & document your marital intimacy all because your passions desire it goes completely against scripture. I see this as intentional sin on your part, man. Even if it’s consensual between you & your wife doesn’t change the facts of God’s word & his commands for marriage & biblical sexuality.

    “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
    ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:5‬

    “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
    ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:4‬

    “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
    ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:18‬

    It sounds to me like you’ve had a struggle with pornography in the past or still do or not even a problem with it at all? Yes I’m making an assumption, but think about it: for you to think about doing this, plan it, come up with the money for it to capture the hardcore scenes you wrote about & then the pressure your wife when you wanted to end a scene by cumming on her face & then last minute she agrees with it.

    Yeah, dude, this feels wrong on so many levels. I don’t see how you can justify this behaviour or think it in anyway aligns with God & His word. In my opinion, it doesn’t.

    I’m open to dialogue & being corrected if it’s biblical, but I had to be real & honest in response to this post.

    🙏🏻

    • musicmaker86 says:

      While I do believe that there are good arguments to be made as to why this kind of activity is questionable from a Biblical perspective, I feel compelled to point out the flaws in your logic.

      Of the three verses you quoted (Colossians 3:5, Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18) not a single one explains WHY the aforementioned activity is explicitly sinful. All of them speak of avoiding sexual immorality but trying to use them as scriptural proof that the Bible prohibits this behaviour is begging the question; you are assuming the behaviour is sinful BEFORE you quote the verse, then using the verse as proof that the Bible backs up your claim.

      I believe it is possible, in a sense, that two couples could witness the others having sex (without participating) and not be sinful; so long as it does not cause either party to sinfully desire what is not theirs. MHO, to make a firm pronouncement on this matter is akin to telling another person that their masturbation is sinful; we cannot determine that without knowing where their heart truly is. Only God can know that. My intuition tells me that this kind of activity feels like courting a slippery slope, but that's just my opinion.

      I do not claim to be a Biblical scholar enough to wholly defend the proposition, but I know enough to be able to say that the argument presented here is not sound. Again, I am not saying that no argument exists or that I am in favour of this behaviour. What I AM saying is that if one is to use scripture to back up their arguments, they must do so in a manner that does not run afoul of fallacious premises.

    • TruthSeeker says:

      This is in response to Always Horny and to the topic as a whole. I'm not sure I'd personally be willing to do something like this, and it's certainly against the historically conservative Christian culture around sex, but I'm not convinced the Bible actually says this kind of thing is wrong. Yes, AH, all the verses you cited are true, but there's a problem with the conclusion you're drawing. To conclude that this situation is sinful, we would have to show that 1) sexual immorality is a sin (which is clear), and 2) that this situation counts as sexual immorality. That second part isn't clear. We have to define what it is about this situation that makes it sinful.

      Is it sinful to see someone having sex? Well, God sees everything, including married couples having sex, and doesn't sin in doing so. Does God hide his face when two spouses engage in what is arguably his most beautiful physical work of art? I sort of doubt it.

      Is it sinful to be seen having sex, intentionally or not? You may draw that conclusion from the Bible, but I'm not aware that it's made clear anywhere.

      Here's something to think about on the topic. In the era of the Bible, where people lived in tents and quite small homes with limited space for privacy, it's a curious thing that the Bible's many sex-related prohibitions don't list anything on the topic of seeing someone have sex, or being seen. That alone is far from an airtight defense, but it's food for thought.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      Sorry to jump in again, but this part is bothering me:

      "She initially rebuffed my request, and I respected her wishes. But then, after lunch, she quietly took me aside and told me I could do it."

      How is this pressuring his wife? We have to be careful not to let a predilecition to see the act as error lead us to infer and judge wrongly someone's intent or manner. It seems the OP asked and got a no, then a few days later she reconsidered and surprised him with a yes. What a sweet, loving gift!

  8. Always Horny says:

    Just to add on. It’s like myself, the times I’ve fallen into pornography, I know it’s wrong. There’s nothing I could do to justify that sin & persuade someone it’s okay. The Bible tells me to run from it. Every time I look at women like that, I’m coveting someone’s daughter, wife, granddaughter, sister, etc.

    It’s all to selfishly fulfil my desires, to give me self-gratification, it’s all SELF. Doesn’t matter how lonely I am, it gives me no right to cross those commands of Jesus & abuse His grace like that. We are to turn from sin in every way & repent & conform our entire selves to God & his ways.

    Don’t we all believe that here in this community?

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      I think this is a legitimate response when one has the mindset that seeing someone else have sex is somehow impure. But our culture (worldly *or* Christian) doesn't get to define what is impure, only God does. The only acts defined biblically as sexual impurity involve having sex outside marriage. Being married to the person with whom you have sex is *not* sexual impurity (fornication, harlotry, porneia, zanah…) nor is seeing it in any way defined as immoral. It's the things that come from the heart that defile the man, as Jesus said. Though as you add, for some people, seeing others have sex does cause them to lust for those people rather than someone they could actually marry. So I think it's important to know what causes you to stumble and avoid it.

      I think there are other concerns for me personally. One is whether the money this would cost could better benefit the kingdom some other way. But for those with plenty and who give generously, I don't see the difference between blessing each other with a gift like this versus with toys or vacations or the like. Another issue would be whether I could relax enough to behave naturally on camera, even if the videographers were dear friends rather than consummate professionals. I can see the advantages and drawbacks of both situations.

      All of this is moot for us because even if we wanted to try it, the cost is probably prohibitive.

    • ClimaXX says:

      Always Horney, I have to say AMEN to your standpoint. I think a very safe question to ask myself is, "Would I feel comfortable to ask Jesus to watch the process while we are making the video?"

      Like children, we continue to push against the boundaries that God has set for us.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      You know, ClimaXX, I don't think I would be embarrassed for Jesus to witness that scenario, because he would know my heart. If I made such a recording, it would be as a loving gift for myself and my spouse. If we showed it to anyone else, it would be as a means of celebrating and upholding the beauty and sanctity of sex within marriage, much like what we do with our stories here; The visual aspect wouldn't change whether it was right in God's sight or not. Now, if I showed it off hoping someone would be thinking of having sex with me (or him or us), that would be wrong, and I wouldn't want Jesus to see that. And he sees all, so I won't do it.

    • TruthSeeker says:

      @ ClimaXX, I think that question is a decent rule of thumb, but it still has problems. Even though you're rightly considering Jesus in the equation, that question still makes your own comfort (your own feelings and preferences) the standard. There's some utility in that approach for certain decisions. But I think by itself, it's seriously insufficient for highly specific discussions of biblical morality, like this one.

  9. OldManJam says:

    I talk to my wife about this from time to time and she has yet to bite. 🙂 On the other side of this, I sent her this story and said, "I have the camera gear, software, and this is the business plan!" If you don't mind saying, what did this service run you?

    Hot story too; keep up the good writing!

  10. ParkerJen says:

    Parker and I absolutely loved hearing about this experience! We think it would be amazing to also get ourselves filmed in a similar hardcore high quality format, maybe as an anniversary gift to each other. We’re both very visual people and this sort of thing is exactly what we’ve been talking about!

    We also LOVE that you have those friends you can compare notes with! I know not everyone will completely agree on the morality of your friends having seen your video, but Parker and I are your biggest supporters! We also love how circumspect you are about your son. Kids knowing their parents have sex doesn’t bother us.

    So glad you got to do this! Lucky camera crew 😉

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Thank you. Glad you and Parker liked the story. Lauren and I definitely drive in the fast lane when it comes to our sex life and I get that not everyone is comfortable in that lane. All that said, we are 100% monogamous and have never crossed any lines with the other couple I referenced. And let me be clear in also saying that everything we do is 50/50 in terms of consent. Lauren enjoys pushing the envelope just as much as I do.

  11. Always Horny says:

    In response to musicmaker86 and truthseeker I have to disagree with you. First let's look at the post headline. "WE DID A PROFESSIONAL PORN. HERE'S OUR STORY." So from the beginning my "logic" points to this couple must be okay with porn and doesn't see anything wrong with the ideology and practice of it is that a fair thought to have? As you continue reading, you already see marriedtoahotbabe cautious about his approach of this post, so why the hesitation if this behaviour is okay?

    [From MH: We feel it's important to say that the inclusion of the keyword "Porn" was intentional as we hope that people searching for less wholesome content on the internet might find us in the process. Otherwise, we would have edited it to distinguish it from media portraying sex outside marriage.]

    You commented and said that "I believe it is possible, in a sense, that two couples could witness the others having sex (without participating) and not be sinful; so long as it does not cause either party to sinfully desire what is not theirs." How can you honestly believe this? How can you justify that thought with scripture? So you're saying that a man and woman could sit there in the outdoors, a hotel, whatever the place is and witness two fully naked people engaging in heavy sex, blowjobs, hard thrusting, the moaning, the visual bodies of the people and you honestly believe that it's possible that they can watch without being horny, being turned on by the people they're watching and not sin?

    I'm yet to meet anybody who can do that bro. Take all the people in this community right, how many times have you seen people write in the comments to stories of how they begin reading a story and then they find that their hand starts wandering to their cock or pussy and they masturbate to it 🙂 I'd say it happens to everyone here hahaha. Yet you're saying if the people right in front of you were fucking hardcore you believe that a person could just sit there and not want or desire what's not theirs and not sin. Come on man, be honest. This is not possible. The only one that I know of that could is Jesus.

    That's why I believe that this behaviour falls into the category of sexual immorality that's why I quoted these scriptures for this reason because there were other people present in the room that are not apart of the marriage union. Not only that but then these people are paid to watch and film other people have hardcore sex. So they are watching and filming porn. marriedtoahotbabe already commented – "And we have also seen our friends' scenes and they are also wonderful blessings of marital love. So long as monogamy lines are not crossed, sex is nothing to be feared." and also he said to his wife "That day, as the first scene got underway, I told Lauren she looked like she could be an actual porn star, and I meant it. Ashley and Dave agreed. Lauren laughed." Why would you want your wife to look like a porn star when you know that porn and the industry exploit woman and aid in sex trafficking throughout the world? Does that empower your wife? Does it foster safety in your marriage if you desire says girls in porn look hot? It's like saying awww it's just sex, no biggie man. When we see that God places high standards in scripture and his own preaching about the power of sex and its intended purposes and what happens when that is abused and people give into their fleshly desires and sensuality. I'm all for hot sex man. The desire for each other, all of that. I miss it incredibly, but where I take issue with this post and its ideology and practice is that other people where invited into a place that I believe is designed to be sacred between two lovers alone man and woman in the marriage union. Call it historical or conservative, I openly align with that in scripture and not to mention having reverence for Jesus and what he said and taught. The condition of our hearts matter to God and others man.

    Scripture shows us – 'But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.'
    Galatians 5:16-26

    'Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.'
    Romans 13:13-14

    The flesh is like a hungry beast y'all. It'll consume you if you have no restraint and self control. That is when sin happens. I speak to myself all that I'm saying to you. I just truly believe that what marriedtoahotbabe and his wife did wasn't right. But all I can do is give you my thoughts on it. My heart is not to attack or belittle it's purely to stand for truth of the Gospel and reverence for Jesus.

    AH

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      "you already see marriedtoahotbabe cautious about his approach of this post, so why the hesitation if this behaviour is okay?"

      Caution as to how a story will impact others or what others will read into it from their own paradigm doesn't mean the writer questions whether what he did was right or wrong. He answered this himself: "Quite honestly, it is the wildest thing we’ve ever done. But when you step back and think about it, is it really that crazy? Sex is a vital part of a healthy marriage. Every married couple we know has sex. They know we have sex. Why should Lauren and I then feel ashamed about hiring a video crew to shoot us doing what almost every happily married couple does: have sex?"

      "So you're saying that a man and woman could sit there in the outdoors, a hotel, whatever the place is and witness two fully naked people engaging in heavy sex, blowjobs, hard thrusting, the moaning, the visual bodies of the people, and you honestly believe that it's possible that they can watch without being horny, being turned on by the people they're watching and not sin?"

      First of all, that is not the situation in this story. Second, clearly the film crew was able to do so. Thirdly, being horny and turned on is not a sin. Wanting to have sex with the other person/people would be.

      "I've yet to meet anybody who can do that bro. Take all the people in this community right, how many times have you seen people write in the comments to stories of how they begin reading a story and then they find that their hand starts wandering to their cock or pussy and they masturbate to it 🙂 I'd say it happens to everyone here hahaha. Yet you're saying if the people right in front of you were fucking hardcore you believe that a person could just sit there and not want or desire what's not theirs and not sin. Come on man, be honest. This is not possible. The only one that I know of that could is Jesus."

      Again, "horny" and "turned on" are not sinful lust. There is a difference, and maturity and discipline may be involved. It is possible to enjoy knowledge of another married couple's sexual engagement, be happy for them and turned on for your own spouse or future spouse without sinning against God or them by desiring to be part of that union or take what is not yours to have. That is the premise of this whole site. For some, that knowledge might come through observation rather than the written word, as in seeing your neighbors in their back yard or a couple in the window of the hotel across from yours. These are hot, stimulating situations that might make you wish for sex without wanting what's not and can't be yours.

      "Why would you want your wife to look like a porn star when you know that porn and the industry exploit women and aid in sex trafficking throughout the world? Does that empower your wife? Does it foster safety in your marriage if you desire says girls in porn look hot? It's like saying, "Awww, it's just sex. No biggie, man," when we see that God places high standards in scripture and his own preaching about the power of sex and its intended purposes and what happens when that is abused and people give into their fleshly desires and sensuality."

      Yes, it is clear that this couple are familiar with mainstream porn. Maybe they once watched it and now don't but still enjoy their own amateur videos "going all the way back to 2004." You are right that the "industry" does much harm, not least in celebrating sexual union outside marriage, but this story isn't about that. It's about making your own film with your own wife and paying someone else to make it high-quality. For this, they had to be in the room, but they didn't behave inappropriately toward either spouse. Also, some women are confident that their mate can acknowledge the beauty of another human being without comparing them unfavorably or wanting the other for themselves.

      "where I take issue with this post and its ideology and practice is that other people were invited into a place that I believe is designed to be sacred between two lovers alone, man and woman, in the marriage union. Call it historical or conservative, I openly align with that in scripture and not to mention having reverence for Jesus and what he said and taught. The condition of our hearts matter to God and others, man."

      You are right, it does. But is it right for us to assume we know the condition of another's heart just because they do something we wouldn't do? And having sex with other people in the room seems the most historical of all, for private bedrooms are a modern invention. Probably pretty tame sex most of the time, I'd imagine. Nowhere does God command that we avoid seeing sex happen, but that we not have sex with someone besides our spouse.

      "Scripture shows us – 'But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.'
      Galatians 5:16-26

      'Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.'
      Romans 13:13-14"

      Read the lists again, and this time don't make the assumption that immoral mean "someone else sees." Someone else always sees: God does. Sex with your spouse is holy, beautiful, right, good, pure, excellent, and commanded by God through the Holy Spirit. How then is it to be included in these lists of things that are against the Spirit? If we talk about it, hear it, see it, celebrate it, normalize *hot married sex*, we can let that spur us on to enjoying righteous sex with our spouses. If some are spurred to unrighteous thoughts, desires, or actions, that is a matter of the heart and even MH probably isn't a safe place for them.

      "The flesh is like a hungry beast y'all. It'll consume you if you have no restraint and self control. That is when sin happens. I speak to myself all that I'm saying to you."

      Precisely. Even in Jesus' day, the best man stood outside the door of the bridal chamber listening for the consumation of the marriage and rejoicing that his friend had been joined with his bride. John the Baptist affirmed this as his role. Did the "friend of the groom" sin if he enjoyed that same union with his own wife afterward because knowing sex was happening turned him on? No. But if he sat wishing she was his or joined in or grabbed some handmaiden passing by and had his way, his lack of self-control would be sin, no doubt about it.

      "I just truly believe that what marriedtoahotbabe and his wife did wasn't right. But all I can do is give you my thoughts on it. My heart is not to attack or belittle; it's purely to stand for truth of the Gospel and reverence for Jesus."

      AH

      Your heart is good, and you want to uphold what you understand to be truth. You warn others of that which you see as a danger. These are loving things to do. Understand, though, that not all people face the same struggles. And desiring your own spouse more because you read of, hear, or even see another married couple having sex isn't the "lust of the flesh." It is prescribed—"It is better to marry than to burn with desire"—as *the* right way to handle physical arousal, either in real life or by imagining what it will be like someday.

    • TruthSeeker says:

      I think CHL did a great job of summarizing most of the same responses that I would have to your points.

      Correct me if I misrepresent your case, but it seems like you believe that, if someone watched a couple have sex, the viewer's desire and arousal is sinful regardless of the context in the heart and mind. Here are some thoughts on that.

      I think we'd agree that the potential sin in question is lust or coveting, which I think are almost synonymous. But these mean something very specific, and sexual arousal in response to visual stimuli is neither necessary nor sufficient to fulfill the definition. Lust is a matter of the heart, independent of physiological response. Lust simply means "strong desire," but it can be either good or bad. Jesus himself expressed strong desires for good things, but condemned strong desires for bad things (Matthew 5:28). For a "strong desire" to be sinful, it must be a desire FOR something sinful.

      Let's use an example. If you see a nice luxury car that you can't afford, it's not wrong to want it. For both our survival instinct and for our fulfillment, God wired us to desire good things. It needs to be more than that to be sin.

      Now, it does become a problem if you foster intent to wrongly take a specific car that is owned by someone else (or to take a specific person married to someone else; that's the exact example Jesus uses in Matthew 5:28). I believe this is because of your state of heart, which is such that you WOULD illicitly take the car or spouse, if only the opportunity was made available. If this is the case, you're stealing (or committing adultery) in your heart.

      I think it also becomes wrong and sinful if you allow yourself to obsess over the thought of that specific car (whether or not you intend to take it) and let it negatively influence things like your contentment and most importantly your relationship with God. Perhaps a question to ask would be, "Does this desire lead me to appreciate God (and his power, creativity, generosity, etc.) more or less?"

      A big part of it is this: combatting temptation versus allowing it to persist. Temptation is inevitable (Matthew 18:7, Luke 17:1). But The mere temptation isn't sin. Even Jesus was tempted without sinning (Hebrews 4:15). If we give any ground to temptation, we have already failed in a way, and potentially sinned. But if we successfully resist it, we've done nothing wrong.

      There are different attitudes that can be taken toward a situation like this, sinful and non-sinful. If someone saw a married couple having sex, I think a righteous attitude could be, "What a beautiful thing! God is so loving and good for creating something so wonderful for his children to enjoy!" Even if arousal accompanies that appreciation, well again, that doesn't equate to sinful lust, which is a matter of the heart, not a physiological response. On the other hand, a sinful attitude could be, "Man that's hot! I wish I could join in. Sex with my spouse seems so lacking, and getting involved with them would be so erotic!" That would be voluntarily allowing and entertaining desires for something (in this case, adultery) that is inherently sinful. Allowing THOSE thoughts can only bring harm.

      To summarize, I think it's entirely possible (at least for some people) to see a couple having sex, appreciate it for the beautiful thing it is, become aroused by it, desire an APPROPRIATE outlet for that arousal, fully resist any temptation to even consider adultery, and commit no sin anywhere in that whole process. For some, the temptations that assault the body, mind and heart may be too strong. But for others who have carefully considered their Bible-based boundaries and convictions, they might be in the right state of being to confidently resist all temptations and enjoy the sight of sex in a pure way.

      That's my take, anyway. I appreciate and share your goal of seeing truth, as my screen name suggests. It's useful to have disagreements so we can analyze why we believe what we do, and reconsider if necessary. Thanks for sparking this discussion and helping me refine my views! 🙂

  12. Fearless Lunk says:

    Thank you MH for being a site where people can disagree respectfully and you are willing to publish the different viewpoints. Regardless of any topic, just because someone says it’s “ok” doesn’t make it ok for everyone. Likewise just because some says it’s a “sin” doesn’t make it a sin for everyone. If we look at the larger Biblical narrative, one of the missions of Jesus is to offer freedom, not to drive us deeper into the Law and following the rules. I am not justifying that ANY action is ok, but rather saying the Spirit is our guide, not the Law. The entire book of Galatians talks about how we were once Slaves to the Law, and now we have been set free thru Christ. So, here’s the unfortunate and beautiful thing…. on some gray areas not explicitly talked about in the Bible, some people will find it fruitful and beneficial, while some people might find that same activity destructive and demoralizing. Most things in life CAN BE labeled “ok” or “sin” based on how the Spirit leads the individual. And it’s NOT our job to tell others that their convictions (either way) are right or wrong.

    One bonus note, Jesus was very harsh toward Pharisees… one of the reasons was because they would take OT law and add to it with man-made rules. It’s a dangerous activity, spiritually speaking. In pursuing Biblical purity, some people lose the Way of Jesus. We should all guard against this.

  13. Always Horny says:

    Just to clarify to when I said the only one I know that could not sin is Jesus. I mean he is the standard, I guarantee you Jesus wouldn’t put himself in a position like that when it comes to sexuality & behaviour…!

  14. LadyGarden says:

    Wow—what an incredible way to celebrate your intimate love for one another. This has always been a fantasy of ours yet we have not taken the plunge; bravo to you and Lauren for making it happen. We’ve read it several times together and separately, and each time; it has resulted in raw passionate sex.

    We acknowledge the MH team for pushing the envelope and publishing your story; Missy & Calvin had to know the potential firestorm they were igniting—and we applaud them for their courage and openness. To some readers, what you and Lauren did was inappropriate. To others, it was the fulfillment of the ultimate marital fantasy. There is room to lovingly disagree—MH is not the forum to change anyone’s minds.

    Ultimately—all you and Lauren did was make your own sex video. Right? How many of us have our own collections? The main difference is not many of us have gone to the extremes and expense you and Lauren went to, lol.

    We think its awesome that you were able to pull this off.

    A few years ago, we thought we were pushing the envelope when I arranged for a nude photo shoot with a male professional photographer friend of mine in So Cal (We may have once written about it on MH). It was a lot of fun and quite erotic posing naked in his studio (I once had a crush on him) then taking him out to dinner afterwards after posing in the nude for the past couple of hours. (Not to mention showing the resulting photo album to my special female and male friends before surprising Ken with it).

    Please keep MH readers updated on any new developments!
    LadyGarden

  15. Proverbs31 says:

    Amazing! My husband and I have been talking about doing this for awhile now. Any suggestions on how to find a good crew? Seems like this was the most fitting crew y’all could have come across to make this happen! Connection is key and feeling comfortable, natural is definitely what I’m looking for.

  16. 1blessedman says:

    I enjoyed reading of the adventures of marriedtoahotbabe. I always appreciate the candor and thoughtful comments when those comments are cheerleading in nature and when they challenge. The dissenting comments from Always Horny is appreciated as I always enjoy “iron-sharpening-iron”. That said, I find some of the comments there to be loosely consistent with Scripture. Everything I offer going forward from here is defined by Liddell & Scott’s Greek Lexicon. Also, the English dictionary used is Noah Webster’s 1828. Since Liddell & Scott wrote their Greek Lexicon in the 1800’s, we must use a contemporary English dictionary to understand the English words they use to define the Greek.

    I would like to know the translation version of New Testament Always Horny is using because there are some translation issues in what Always Horny has presented as the translation of some of the passages. The Galatians passage where “sexual immorality” and “sensuality” is quoted is not a fair treatment of those Greek terms. At verse 19 (Galatians) those words are rightfully defined as “fornication” and “excess indulgence”. Now, many translators are correct that fornication is sexual immorality but sexual immorality is a general term and does not necessarily indicate fornication. The Greek word is specific to fornication and that is defined further as a physical act between unmarried parties and that act is further defined by Noah Webster as unlawful. That is the specific English definition we should use. Now, sensuality is not necessarily a sin. God created us as sensual beings. We have a desire for food, water and peaceful living. No of these are sinful but all are part of the sensual portion of who we are as humans. Sensuality can be an excessive indulgence if taken to extremes or if the desires are for things not our own; like the tree in the garden, my neighbor’s spouse, or someone else’s money. The translation offered by Always Horny is not a fair translation because that translation is indicating that our sensuality is somehow bad. Sensuality becomes a problem when our only desire is to satisfy the flesh while forsaking our commitment to The Spirit. The Romans 13 offering is somewhat puzzling because I cannot find in the Greek the word that is quoted in the English as “orgies”. That is just not in the Greek and I challenge Always Horny to present the Greek word for orgies and prove that it is in the original Greek version of Romans 13:13. In verse 13, Paul does use the word for bed, (which connotes sex) but that is the only reference that is specific to sex in verse 13 and 14. There are so many English translations that have gone the route to generalize the Greek words into English in a sexual connotation that it is a situation of “adding to” the Scripture. Translators and self-aggrandizing theologians have this hunger to make the Greek words, that indicate excessive and outlandish behavior, have sexual connotations, or they just plainly and wrongly translate it as if it is speaking directly to a sexual topic. I could go on, and I have written about this in other posts, but I will just leave you with the above since this explanation is way more than most desire to read on translation stuff.

    I will quote Always Horny and say that I believe this quote is well-grounded in numerous places in God’s word: “The flesh is like a hungry beast y'all. It'll consume you if you have no restraint and self control. That is when sin happens.” Always Horny seems to indicate that marriedtoahotbabe and his wife sinned in a sexual manner and offered passages to “prove” it. Hmmm….a better case could be argued if we use the best translation and say that they failed to exercise restraint and self-control…..but then we are forced to define the boundaries. And, now some will say that there is no self-control in bikinis, low-neck shirts, snug-fitting jeans, parties where alcohol is served, (water into wine, hmmm), etc.. Nice fitting and form accentuating bikini versus camel toe thong….hhmmm. There is difficulty in determining where the exact line in the proverbial sand is, so let us all constantly make a sure assessment of our intent and desires to ensure we stay where we believe our “narrow way” exists.

  17. 1blessedman says:

    Allow me to make an observation here. Pornography is Porno + graphy. In Greek, porno is non-married sexual indulgence between consenting persons. In Greek, graphy means writings. So, if [… one] is using MH in some way as literary enjoyment, then is he sexually indulging in a pornographic way by virtue of the observed definition from the Greek words we have combined into English? So, when is it okay to tell complete strangers about sex but not our close friends? And, why can’t I share with them my most intimate of pleasures? Must I only tell them of surfing, gardening, 2-on-2 basketball, my children or debate them over the validity of what Peter said on the day of Pentecost? Certainly, as we strip away clothing, the closer we get to nudity, the closer we are likely to come to indulging our flesh. It is possible to appreciate God’s magnificent creative prowess without lusting after what is not mine. The question is: “at what level of clothing or nudity will I stop exercising self-control”?. If you are an alcoholic…don’t go to a bar! If you cannot express sexual self-control, then do not go to South Beach in Florida and do not attempt what marriedtoahotbabe did. My wife and I had some monogamous "same-room" encounters with friends. While we enjoyed sights and sounds, we never superimposed our thoughts and desires onto the other couple. Now, the argument usually goes that anything that causes arousal in the sexual side of us is sin if it is not specifically pointed toward our spouse. Well, then therapeutic electro-stimulation of the L-4 lumbar has caused many women to sin. So has horseback riding. So has the vibration tables that women and men use on farms that process vegetables. So has Michael Bublé. Seriously, it is about the power of the mind at all levels. If nudity is the problem then surgical sin is rampant and I have really been exposed over my years in the OR. Professional photographers categorize film shoots just like we did in surgery. Nude? Yes. But it is just the job. And no one forced the other parties to engage in it. There is a phenomenon in GYN/OBS. Men who go into GYN medicine frequently experience impotency after many days of looking at hoo-hoos. And, what do we understand about cultures where topless women are the norm? Too much imposition of theologians' preconceived notions onto the Bible is part of our Christian culture. "This is how I feel; so let me translate and cherry-pick passages that seem to fit my predilections". If you can't use MH without sinning then find another venue. If you can't engage with friends in banter or otherwise without sinning, then don't.

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