Hadassah – Peasant to Palace

When the turn came … to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai … suggested. [she] won the favor of everyone who saw her. (Esther 2:15)

“Mama, what’s a blow job?”

Hadassah had no memory of her birth parents. Mordecai and his wife adopted her. Though Mordecai was her cousin, Hadassah had always called him and his wife Papa and Mama.

Hadassah’s mother, temporarily stunned, took the question in stride. Her little girl was growing up too quickly. The first question, was it ten years ago already, had been, “Mama, I have these lips between my legs. Why don’t I have this stick-like thing down there, like Levi?” Hadi and her brother had been playing in the stream in the backyard. Apparently, their explorations went beyond looking for tadpoles or some wild flowers to adorn the table at mealtime. She would need to talk with her husband. It was time for Levi to have his own sleeping mat, instead of sharing one with his sister. She was grateful that Hadassah was satisfied with, “Honey, God created you a girl, and your brother a boy, and that’s how boys and girls are different.”

Then, “Mama, what were those noises I heard coming from your bedroom last night?” It was time to move Hadi’s sleeping mat a bit further away from her parent’s bedroom. Really though, there wasn’t much choice in their tiny cottage.

“Noises?”

“I had trouble falling asleep. I heard you and daddy talking quietly for a few moments. Then I heard what sounded like you calling out daddy’s name, like ‘Oh, Abi’ followed by a small groan or shriek. It’s hard to describe. You kept calling out his name and the other noises got louder until a final, long, drawn-out something or other; I couldn’t tell if it was a cry of pain, or one of relief from pain. Then daddy started grunting and groaning. I heard a long sigh of great satisfaction, like the one daddy makes when he’s finally finished making a new piece of furniture, or after eating one of your delicious meals.”

“I hope we didn’t frighten you. Sometimes your daddy and I are so glad to be with each other, especially after a long day of work, that we get carried away with the expression of our joy in being able to be together.”

“I wasn’t frightened, Mama. And I’m glad you and daddy are here and enjoy being with each other, and with Levi and me, too.”

Now, for the question of the moment, where had she heard someone use the term blowjob? We have yet to deal with erect penis and wet pussy. Wasn’t it too soon to be learning all this vocabulary? She couldn’t remember when she had first learned these words.

“Hadi, do you remember how we talked about how your body is different from your brother’s? He has a penis and you have a vagina. A man and woman who love each other very much get married. If they want to have a baby, the man will put his penis into his wife’s vagina, and plant a seed there. Do you remember that discussion?”

“Yes.”

“Well, God made a vagina and penis for more than just making babies. When a vagina and penis come together, the man and woman experience a great deal of pleasure. But that’s not the only way for a husband and wife to give pleasure to each other. A woman can also put her husband’s penis in her mouth. It’s a bit like sucking and licking a lollipop.”

“Do you like lollipops?”

“Yes. It’s one way of letting daddy know I love him very much.”

“How does daddy let you know he loves you?”

“We can talk about that some other time. Run along now and fetch some water from the well before it gets dark. It’s time to start preparing supper.”

Indeed, the thick fabric walls of her parent’s bedroom didn’t sufficiently mute sounds from reaching her ears when she lay down on her sleeping mat. She remembered her mother’s explanation for the sounds. Not much later, she discovered several things: the excitement she experienced when she spread her legs and let her hand explore and the pleasure extracted from the stroking of her budding breasts. It wasn’t many nights later when the sounds coming from her own throat echoed those coming from her mother’s bedroom.

Other memories of good times and late night conversations with her mother flooded her mind. A tear trickled down her cheek. If only she had the opportunity to visit her mom again and announce, “Mama, I gave the king a blowjob last night.”

Her mother didn’t survive the arduous trip to their adopted country. Hadi and Mordecai found an enclave near the palace where others from their region lived. Mordecai’s skill as a bricklayer provided some income to support himself and his cousin. Hadi’s welfare concerned him. She was attractive and single and Mordecai noticed several of the community’s single men were well aware of her. That was to be expected. His concern focused on the attention she received from several outsiders, including one man from the palace court. What business did he have with him and his fellow refugees? Mordecai wearied of warning his cousin. “Hadi, you must be careful when you go to the markets. Have someone go with you. Keep your head covered. Be careful when talking with strangers. In particular, don’t talk with any man who is not one of our people.”

Shortly after arriving in Susa, a new king came to power. Mordecai, never at a loss for something to worry about, brooded over palace gossip. The king was incompetent, especially in his execution of a war with a rival power. In a desperate attempt to buy their loyalty, he hosted a six-month long vacation for the upper level leaders in his vast kingdom. It was a thinly veiled excuse for feeding his ego. No one wanted to listen to the guardian of the royal treasury when he told them there was nothing to guard. Of course, the partygoers didn’t care about wisdom or balance sheets. Quiet conversations, far removed from the palace, questioned his choice of cabinet members and close advisers. The king’s impulsiveness and short temper triggered the latest mini crisis.

The king had hosted a weeklong orgy of food and drink. Overcome with vanity, he thought to himself, “I’ve displayed everything in my kingdom, except my queen. I should put her on display. Then everyone will know I exceed them all, even in my possession of a beautiful woman.” The alcohol impaired his ability to recognize egregious violations of social convention; normally, men kept their wives hidden away. He insisted on issuing an invitation to the queen to perform a pole-dance for him and his guests. The queen refused to humiliate herself. Other options were available, and accepted by social convention, if the king needed that kind of entertainment. Queen Vashti suffered the unintended consequence of banishment from the presence of the king.

The king, regretting his actions, listened to his advisors, who hatched a plan to find another queen.

“Don’t worry.” Mordecai didn’t appear to be taking this seriously.

“You don’t think me beautiful?”

“Of course, you’re beautiful. Just don’t get noticed by the king’s scouts.”

They noticed.

“Don’t worry,” But Mordecai was becoming worried.

“But we’re not one of them.”

“So don’t tell them,” he replied.

“Are you kidding me?” I said. “They’ll figure it out with the first word I speak.”

Her cousin gave a heavy sigh. “So, learn to speak with their accents. What could it hurt? Could being his queen be any worse than living here with your poor cousin?”

Hadassah wanted to slap him. “It won’t be you sleeping in his bed. I can’t be married to him.” Another sigh. “Instead of worrying, light the candles already. It’s the start of a new day.”

The year of preparation was rapidly coming to an end. Hegai, the king’s eunuch, took her aside. “Esther, two nights from now you will be taken to the king’s private rooms. May I have a few words with you?”

“Of course.”

“You have gained my respect and admiration, Esther, and the respect of those around you. Give the king an opportunity to respect you. Approach him graciously, with dignity, but in humility as well, making it clear you must be his wife first, before you can be his lover.”

Esther turned away. She did not want Hegai to see her face. Tears trickled down her face. She wanted to be angry – angry at her circumstances, angry at this man for being right, and angry for the loss of her fiancé, her mother and father, and her homeland. How could she share the bed of the man whose ancestors had enslaved her people? She was angry at—she could not bring herself to acknowledge what she knew to be true. She was openly sobbing now and started to raise her fist heavenward.

“Hadassah,” he called out softly. She whirled about to face him again. The shimmering light that normally shone forth from her face was now quenched in a flood of rage.

“Do not be afraid. I will not reveal the identity of you and your people. I know your allegiance is to the God of Israel. Your cousin Mordecai is well and sends his love. I consider him a true friend. You have something, a peace and contentment, rarely seen inside the palace. Mordecai also, despite his moments of agitation, seems to possess these gifts as well.

“Hadassah,” he called her name again. “You are not alone. I was once angry. Why was I brought here? Why was my body mutilated? A thousand whys. Why was Joseph harshly mistreated by his jealous brothers? Remember Abigail, who turned aside the anger of David, her king. Perhaps you will be an instrument of healing to another king’s soul, and he will come to value you as a helpmate rather than an object to blot out a few hours of his inner turmoil.”

The cloud, like a morning mist, disappeared. Her face glowed once again.

“Almighty God, God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, who has shown me kindness and mercy, please grant to your servant Hadassah that same kindness and mercy. Give her the wisdom to guide her in the next few hours. Your servant Mordecai has prepared her well for whatever lies before her. Grant him peace, knowing that she is in your care. You have placed her, like Joseph, in the midst of a people not her own, and who do not know you. Grant her favor in the eyes of the king as you granted your servant favor in the eyes of the Pharaoh.”

Hegai, the king’s eunuch, left Hadassah to her private thoughts, and retired to his own bedroom. Mordecai’s cousin certainly was a beautiful woman. His body was unable to react to the physical attractiveness of her body, but he still had memories, faded ones, of the love of a woman.

(More to follow)