Two dildos showing a big size difference ~ MarriageHeat

Bigger Than Average: tips, tricks, and advice?

I’m a 23 y/o male virgin, single, and interested in advice for preparing for my future wife and wedding night! I think about it a lot but have a lot of questions, wondering, and worry!

I am not sure what part size plays in the bed and worry about how to ease into it. I’ve read that the average vaginal depth is 2-4 inches when not aroused, and up to 7 when aroused. My insertable length from the base of my shaft to my head is 9.3 inches (God made me very well-endowed), the girth of my shaft at its widest it 6.2″(widest at the head, lessens to 6″ for the majority of my shaft before going back to 6.2 at the base).

If the female cervix is generally 7 inches deep, what am I going to do, especially on my wedding night? Genuinely hoping to meet another God-fearing Christian who sought purity and guarded her heart and virginity so that we can give ourselves to each other fully and enjoy ALL the benefits of marriage. Will she be terrified? I don’t know. It’s the same size as most commercial XL or BBC dildos.

Does anyone have experience with playing with 9-10″ toys with 6″-7″ girth?

Is anything anal even going to be on the table for us if we want to get frisky?

So many questions. I assume take it slow and easy at first, but I’d like to make notes and lists of the best positions to avoid pain and hurt.

Thanks in advance! I appreciate ALL the help.


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41 replies
    • Victor0884 says:

      I have been married 20 years, and it is the second marriage for both of us. I tell you that because she went through a wild promiscuous phase after her first marriage and had a lover who was well endowed: 8 inches in length and 6.5 in girth. She said it hurt at first and took a little time for her to adjust to his size. She said that it was just the first time; the next time, she said, it was good and she had no problems and liked his big cock. She has told me that he did stretch her vagina during intercourse, but after a couple days, it would return to its normal size. They are able to accommodate different sizes, very elastic.

    • ParkerJen says:

      It looks like I arrived too late! Hehe just kidding, thanks to the mod(s) for all you do!

      We can use our imaginations, don’t worry, MC23 😉

    • MonsterCock23 says:

      Lol it was just my throbbing bulge under my shirt, a massive load dripping down, of course, but nothing was visible! Except for the veins… and length and thickness… mushroom head coated in a pint of cum…. TOTALLY PG 😉 No skin right LOL that's what I thought the rule was: no skin, it's PG.

    • ParkerJen says:

      “mushroom head”
      “pint of cum”

      I’m experiencing some throbbing myself, and I think I need some air after reading all that!! hehe sounds extremely fun to play with… for you, of course… 😉

    • MonsterCock23 says:

      haha Jen check out my other story… you'll really be throbbing then! Get a 10" Dildo and have at it! It is fun to play with, can't wait to be married haha I hope she's a size queen like you 😉 If she is she'll have A TON of fun doing all sorts of crazy stuff

  1. Waiting Hardly says:

    I would suggest that once you decide to marry, she prepare for the wedding night and the rest of married life by using some of the toys, like those in the MH picture for your question. It won’t mean she is not a virgin, since only intercourse with a man would affect that. But it would help make your initial times together pleasurable instead of painful. She should start small and work her way up in size as time progresses.
    I know it’s unorthodox, but it’s good practical advice.

  2. youngtxhubby says:

    So when she’s turned on and warmed up, her vagina will expand to fit the penis, even if it’s that large. It just will likely take more foreplay to get her comfortable and ready. Go slow and communicate. Stretching her out beforehand with fingers as part of your foreplay may help, but I’d recommend doing that together so you can share that experience. Biggest thing is don’t bring any expectations into the bedroom, especially at first. If she’s similarly never had sex before, in all likelihood y’all may not be able to have penetrative sex at first and it could take some working up to reach that.

  3. SinglyHorny says:

    I think you should also prepare yourself for when you're first going to have sex on your wedding night. Train yourself to go slow now. I’m speaking as a single guy who hasn’t had sex yet, but the way I’ve been training myself for my future wedding night is to go slow and resist the urge to go super fast when I’m masturbating. Obviously when your close, go at it; but at first just learn to go slow. That way, I think it would make things easier to go slower with your future wife.

  4. Fearless Lunk says:

    If your biggest problem or concern about your future marriage is how massively huge your cock is, I think you’ll survive. 🤣🤣 Have you seen the size of babies’ heads exiting a vagina during birth? The vagina can handle everything you got and more.

    • alwayswet101 says:

      Fearless Lunk- this is exactly the point I was about to make! I am on the tighter side, my obgyn has told me, and I am able to accommodate my very “well-endowed” husband who happens to be huge both in the long and wide ways! I don’t usually go spilling his size, but since you are concerned, I will tell you he measures to be 9.4 in length and 6 inches of girth… when we have gone to purchase a dildo that’s close in size to him—I want the size not because the bigger the better, but because it feels closest to him—the people in the store have actually questioned if I truly wanted that size dildo. I surely mortify my hubby when I say, "Do you see what I’m dealing with!?" and grab his bulge, which is sometimes half erect from walking through such a sexual place.

      A woman will get nice and wet and aroused for you when you turn her on. Natural lubrication is such a blessing, and it helps to accommodate the male organs that are turning us on! I am pregnant currently, and although I accommodate my hubby’s size inside of my lady canal, I am definitely nervous to push a baby out! But women do this! She will definitely be able to handle you! You are blessed, just like I am with my hubby’s literal monster cock.

    • Fearless Lunk says:

      My wife had some medication for her first delivery, an epidural for her 2nd, but #3,4, & 5 she delivered completely natural – no medication. Not that there wasn’t, some pain, but she loved the birthing sensation. One time she said she almost had an orgasm while giving birth!!

    • PatientPassion says:

      @FearlessLunk, that's fascinating! I've heard of the phenomenon of near-orgasmic childbirth and always found it to be so amazing in so many ways. Ever since I learned that was possible, I've wondered if women could somehow prepare themselves for childbirth in a way that makes an orgasmic experience more likely than a painful one. Does your wife have any ideas about what made the experience that way for her? (Maybe this could be a separate post too, so we don't get too off-topic.)

    • alwayswet101 says:

      Oh I sure hope this happens to me! I think most of you know by now what an aroused state I am constantly in being pregnant and nothing would be better than orgasming upon birthing!

  5. texasman76 says:

    I am very well endowed. Hang at 6.5 flaccid and at approximately 8×6 hard if not more, depending on horniness. My wife and I were both virgins when we married at 25. She had to have a minor surgery to make her wider as she could not even get a tampon in. Like the poster above, it took us a while to get the hang of it. Lots of foreplay and lube. Our kids were delivered C-section, so I am the largest thing that has ever been in her canal. No BJs due to girth. Thankfully, I don't bottom her out.

    • alwayswet101 says:

      You are very well endowed just like my hubby and it is a true blessing for us ladies when you can fill us up with that much of your male organs! It definitely always depends on the horniness but there are times where I’ve thought my hubby’s cock has almost looked fake because it’s so big. Sometimes pants can be a struggle and he can get a little self conscious when wearing pants that are slightly tighter than others because he is young enough where he still gets boners many times throughout the day in public and at work. We try to find pants that are easier to hide his size in. Sounds like you can relate! 😉

    • 1blessedman says:

      I have heard of some gals wanting even more than their husbands who are sporting 7-8 inches, so don’t feel bad. There are some super cool extensions that one can purchase.

  6. PatientPassion says:

    Here's something to keep in mind: you don't have to get the whole thing in! Don't let that stop you from TRYING to get the whole thing in, just remember that if she can only take 3/4 of you, that's still sex! There's shouldn't be any stimulation problems caused by that. Most of the male sensitivity is near the tip anyway. You might not be able to grind against her clitoris, but hey, there's a reason both of you have fingers!

    When you do get married, go in with the expectation that you might not be able to have full penetrative sex on your wedding night. Unless your wife does some "training" to stretch herself out, or she also has unusual anatomy, there's a good chance she may have difficulty opening up that much the first few times. Even more typically-sized people often have to work through some stuff, so this is likely going to take even more work. Of course, all the relationship foundations are the most important and will play into how things go here. The biggest ones are mutual love and grace, committing to each other and to working through things no matter what. Also, you'll both need patience to learn to take the whole process slowly—not just insertion, but the entire process of foreplay and arousal too. I can't make an educated guess, but I wouldn't be surprised if it takes days to weeks for her to take something that size. Just go with it! There are tons of awesome sexual things you can do, so you can be super sexual and intimate even before she's able to accept full penetration. Manual, oral, outercourse, etc., you've got lots of options!

    If you take the right approach, she shouldn't be "terrified." Make several things clear to her: you're not going to force anything on her (or in her), you'll be as tender and gentle as you can possibly be, and she can call for things to stop if anything's uncomfortable.

    Once she can accept penetration, you'll also have to find sex positions that don't go so deep that it's uncomfortable for her.

    As for anal, I wouldn't totally discount it, but don't worry about that until you get the basic things figured out! If you do eventually get there, all the typical advice applies in the extreme: be very, VERY gentle, go very, VERY slowly and use as much lube as is needed.

  7. 1blessedman says:

    Size does matter. Women can accommodate various sizes. Some women more than others, just like men have different penis sizes. My wife is 5’2” and 125 lbs.. She can usually take my 7.5 inches x 1.5-2” diameter. She has to be sexually turned on for her to be ready and able. Although, sometimes during our lovemaking she might hold me back some until her anatomy is accommodating. Then there are times when she entices me to bang her pussy with much fervor. Her usual phrase, “Get after it!”. As for anal, I would suggest you redirect your thinking. Before you ask her to do anal, you need to get a dildo of similar size and ask her to use it on you. That should suffice to educate you on the nuances of anal play.

    The other thing that has been mentioned here is giving birth. Just because a baby comes down a birth canal after 9 months of preparation does not mean every woman can take and enjoy a 9” cock. Women’s pelvises undergo a transformation to accommodate the birth. Isn’t God the most ingenious of all!

    Where are you with the premarital self-evaluation as it pertains to living a selfless life dedicated to putting her first in all things; not just can you get you cock in her? Some things just work themselves out when priorities are well aligned. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord.

  8. ParkerJen says:

    My advice: a custom molded dildo as a present for her made using your cock to make the mold! I haven’t looked recently, but I’m almost positive there are kits you can use. Parker gave me one when we were dating, and I was practically addicted to it hehe! (Not necessarily to prepare me for his size, he’s only a little above average, and I knew I could handle a quite large cock if I’m honest. It was just a hot thing between us more than preparation). I specifically loved oral practice on it too. It’s not just the vagina that needs to accommodate; that gag reflex needed to be trained away, hehe!

    If anyone on this site thinks it’s crossing a line to use a dildo molded after your boyfriend/fiancé specifically, I mean no offense, nor do I wish to start a debate! To each their own within their conscience.

    • Bighuged says:

      That’s actually an awesome idea Jen! I’ll have to keep that in mind when that time in my life comes. I’m in a similar situation as the OP.

      Also if you don’t mind me asking, how did you know you could handle bigger? Had you tried bigger dildos before? Or was it a gut feeling?

    • ParkerJen says:

      Hi BigHuged! That’s so fun! You’ll make your future wife very happy 😉

      As for how I knew I could handle much larger, I’d say it’s a story for its own post, but I’m not sure what the rules are on posts about when I was that age, or about what exactly I did… I can say no one is perfect, and among girls my age then, I was especially naughty.

      I can also say I gained much from every decision, perfect or imperfect, and in God’s sovereignty, I regret nothing.

    • Bighuged says:

      Would love to hear the story at some point if you decide to write it! I’ve seen a few stories of people recalling to their teenage sexual explorations before, so I’m pretty sure it would be alright. You might have been naughtier than most girls your age, but I’m sure you weren’t more naughty than the boys.😂😂

      Love that outlook that you have on the past! Great way to view things. Hope my future wife approaches sexuality in a similar way.

    • likaself says:

      Certainly nothing wrong with an engaged or single woman using a dildo. That it is specifically your boyfriend/fiancé's, morally, I don't know. With such a gift, he clearly though it important that you be a girl who masturbates; that is good. Being into masturbation is an important preparation for marriage, but whether you should just be using your hand and not a dildo, I don't know.
      I just know self masturbation is within God's plan for us, when single and in marriage.

  9. Victor0884 says:

    Would love to hear the story as well. My wife has come from a similar experience. She has shared her past with me. It has actually brought us closer together. Great way to view the past. We have been married 20 years and counting and often use her experiences to our advantage.

  10. ILoveMarriage says:

    God was good to me too (but not THAT good 🤣). My wife is petite and small down there — definitely a one-finger gal. We never had any trouble with length — she is very stretchy in that direction. The problem was girth.

    She was supposed to stretch herself before the honeymoon. She did, but not as diligently as she should have; she thought I was exaggerating about my size. I am opposed to any premarital sexual activity involving sex organs or breasts, but in hindsight, I should have shown her — no touching. Nothing wrong with that.

    Also, my wife stretched with fingers. Now days your wife-to-be can get a silicon dilator set from Amazon. Probably a good idea for any virgin bride.

    It was finally birth that ultimately fixed things for us. Interesting thing is, she actually felt tighter to me after childbirth. I guess there is small and there is tight, and they aren't the same thing. She did Kegel exercises in preparation for birth.

  11. SecondMarge says:

    Wow this topic received a great deal of interest. I hope you mean 6.5 in circumference not diameter. At my bridal shower I got a “gag” gift of an over 9” toy. Talk about gag. I have to admit at one point curiosity got the best of me. All I can say I was glad my husband was not that big, 7is plenty for me in a toy. That includes where I hold it. I read somewhere that you can subtract 2 inches from the length guys claim. Not suggesting that is true in your case but 9 plus inches is very rare from my reading.

    • MonsterCock23 says:

      My Erect Cock is longer than a 24 oz can of Monster and those are 8.5 inches long. And yes, the circumference is 6.5 around, measure around for round things not across haha, I have a lot of fun with my monster member I just hope future wifey does too.

  12. SecondMarge says:

    Seems male size interests many of us, but I am troubled by some of the comments. Even the user name makes me wonder if the OP is serious. The young man I am dating is larger than either of my husbands, which does concern me should we ever have intercourse.

    • MonsterCock23 says:

      That's pretty weird you've been married twice and know the Penis size of someone you're "dating"… You Must believe in divorce and per-marital sex

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      Marge has been twice widowed, and knowing someone's size does not imply that they have had intercourse.

  13. JohnE says:

    Being above average, 8.0" length, 6' girth, I so get it. The best piece of advice I got as a young man was from an older, wiser man who was something of a mentor to me. He told me, "Most men have 'pistols,' you have a 'rifle.' Both shoot bullets (cum), so the end result is the same, but they get the job done a bit differently. The key is to get her very wet through foreplay, then slowly and gently slide in, inch by inch, letting her get used to you. Her pussy will adjust to your length and girth. If she can have a baby come through there, your big penis will be no problem for her to handle. The problem with bigger guys is that they ram it in too and too fast, and it ends up hurting. You bigger men think your SIZE is the turn-on, it's actually the snug fit and motion she's after. If you go too hard, too fast, she gets it in her head that you're 'too big'…"
    The first time my wife saw my cock, the look of consternation on her face said it all, like in "Too big." Of course, she didn't say anything. So, I started out with lots of kissing while she stroked my shaft up and down, then the foreplay picked up—fingers in her pussy and then my tongue. When I spread her legs apart, I went very slowly: tip of head, then inch by inch, pausing as she got used to it. I went about halfway in and gently started the motion. It worked like a charm! Before long, I was all the way in, balls deep. When I started thrusting, she closed her eyes and just moaned. Before long, I was moving hard and strong, and she was moaning like crazy. Afterwards, she told me she thought I was 'too big' at first, but now she LOVED my size. Since then I always make sure she's soaking wet before going in. It requires discipline since it takes time to get her really wet and turned on, but it's worth all the effort. Then I can bang her as hard and fast as I want, and she loves it.

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