Major Factors in a Healthy Relationship
Some major things are necessary to keep a relationship healthy. Here are a few I can offer:
You should obtain the ability or maturity to resolve conflict without much friction.
Employ diplomatic tactics in tense situations, meaning don’t tell your spouse they suck, but that they could get better.
Work at it and, believe it or not, having the same interests won’t be too important.
But sexual compatibility is so important—and I don’t think you can really change that. Indeed, sex is the normal driver of couples hitching up, so the more fun you can achieve from this simple activity the better your marriage could hold together.
I know there are a lot of long-married couples on MarriageHeat, so please share with us: What other things can we “major in” to help keep our marriages thriving?
I think it might be beneficial to hear from couples whose marriages were on the rocks at some point and what worked to turn things around.
For us, as we got older and retired, scheduling sex really has worked out well! We still have spontaneous sex sessions too from time to time.
Having some common interests helps our relationship. But maybe I should say SIMILAR interest. We are both scientists but in similar fields but with different specialties. I have learned to be interested in specific things Melody likes and she has become interested in things I like.
I will add that as we dated we became best friends and truly liked each other a great deal first. When we finally kissed I was so amazed that I proposed to her the next day. I’m so happy that she said yes!
My wife and I are not very sexually compatible. She would like less, less variety etc. I want more variety and her to partcipate more, aks for it and suggest sexual things. She rarely does. We have been married 30 years. I know it has not been easy for either of us. I do think most people can not change their sexual interest very much. A few do, but most don't.
We do schedule most sex, twice a week. We will vary the day depending on what is going on. We do spontaneous sex, but rarely.
Sex with us is fantastic when it happens. She is cute and sensual. I love her faces of pleasure. I would call it a common interest, and it helps keep everything rolling. If she's in a bad mood and grouchy, she will often demand sex to release endorphins. So it is important part of a good relationship.
I also recommend little to no alcohol useage. Mind you, I'm not talking about a glass of wine or anything of the sort, but the frequent abuse of it. If alcohol is distorting judgment and leading to conflict, then get rid of it altogether.
Finally, always remember to say something nice. Sometimes we get in a rut of complaining to each other about all the negatives in life. Positive thinking makes for a happier life and marriage. Say some sweet things to your spouse. It often leads to the first thing I mentioned.