My Dream Woman
Hi everyone, J here. Let me preface this by saying if I am blessed with a woman to make my wife, I will love her dearly and give thanks to God for putting her in my life. I am simply making this to share how I imagine my future wife. Some of these aspects are more important than others.
I appreciate anyone who reads this.
1 – A woman who loves the Lord.
2 – A woman who loves me and wants to be married to me.
3 – A woman who trusts me.
4 – A woman who respects me.
5 – A woman who is faithful to the Lord and me.
6 – A woman who loves family.
7 – A woman who wants to have lots of babies.
8 – A woman who shares the same values as me.
9 – A woman who prioritizes being a wife and mother.
10 – A woman who I find attractive and who wants to be attractive.
11 – A woman who takes care of herself.
12 – A woman who works out.
13 – A woman who has a sense of confidence about herself.
14 – A woman who is funny.
15 – A woman who isn’t insecure about herself or others.
There are plenty more, but those are some of the big ones.
Now the sexual aspect—that’s what you’re all here for, haha.
1 – A woman with a high sex drive.
2 – A woman who doesn’t view sex as a chore.
3 – A woman who loves sex.
4 – A woman who wants to spice up our sex life, have fun, make it hotter.
5 – A woman who sometimes initiates a sexual activity.
6 – A woman who likes oral—both giving and receiving.
7 – A woman with a big butt—I’ve always been a butt guy.
8 – A woman with perfect sized boobs—maybe I’m actually both a butt guy and boob guy…
9 – A woman with pretty lips and pretty face.
There is so much I can add to both, but those are the things I am thinking right now.
Please pray for me and my continued search for The One, and for me to have patience and trust the Lord and His will. May I have confidence to approach girls, and may I do so in a God-honoring way, and for the right reasons. May He be glorified.
Hi, May God bless you in your search! What you are describing is pretty much what every Christian man wants. A beautiful, sexy woman who loves God, her man, and herself and is not afraid to show it. I'm not going to tell you that what you want is not out there… there are probably plenty of women who fit the bill…most of them already taken! So, if God does send this "perfect" woman your way, you must always remember to be grateful, humble and praise the Lord every day (and night!) for this blessing.
Now, I want to open your eyes – and your heart – to what you may find instead. There is a song – I'm not sure who wrote it – that is about a man who asked God for strength, riches, and power. At each turn, he was given the opposite. The most powerful line came near the end of the song: "I was given nothing that I asked for, but everything that I hoped for." For with each denial, God taught him to be grateful for what He had given him, and to turn his life over to God the Father who knows what is best for each of us.
Why do I tell you this? Because I have been happily married to my Lisafaye, who has almost none of the physical aspects of your desired woman, since 1980. She does love the Lord, and she loves me without reservation. Our sex life has been wonderful, even though she has fought and nearly always lost the "battle of the scale" her entire life. But she has honored and blessed me throughout our marriage, and in the sex department has been both adventurous and submissive, at times wild, always giving, playful and even even funny sometimes. God has blessed me with her love, and with the desire for her less than perfect form. Sure, sometimes I look at more "attractive" women – I'm a guy, after all! But if I want a "true beauty", I just go home and love on my Lisafaye!
Hard to know where to start on this discussion. For the purposes of gauging my perspective, I've been married to a very strong amazing woman for the past 47 plus years. Not all have been easy, but after 3 kids, 7 grandchildren, here we are. Truth be told, she picked me, not entirely sure why, but she is an authentic force of nature.
Imagine that your parents had a checklist of items that they wanted for their unborn child. I'm no psychologist, but with that attitude you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. If all of your children are going to be measured by that checklist you are depriving yourself of some of the most unbelievable experiences.
My daughter and son-in-law dropped my oldest granddaughter off at college last weekend, for which promises to be an adventure for all parties concerned. It's anybody's guess how this transition will pan out, but everyone involved, herself, her parents and grandparents will lean into the challenge as a family.
I'll never forget an event that took place at my parents when this granddaughter was about 2-1/2 years old. We were all gathered on my parent's deck for a birthday or some other sort of family event. A lot of my Mom's sisters were there and my daughter asked her daughter to take a plate of cookies around to everyone to see if they wanted one. Instead of allowing each person to choose a cookie, she handed each person a cookie. When she got to one of my mom's older sisters, my aunt asked the young child if she could select her own choice of cookie.
Probably echoing a phrase heard numerous times from her mother, this granddaughter said in a matter of fact tone, "You will take what I give you." My aunt thought that was hysterical and took the offered cookie, for fear of being bypassed together.
I'm not saying take whatever comes your way, but get off the couch, get out of the house, go to church, volunteer, find an organization that needs your help and make yourself open to everyone near to you. Live, learn and above all, burn that list.
I had a list but 32 years ago my Melody only filled part of it. The parts of my list she filled were more like parts of your first list.
After a failed marriage n being a single dad, I wanted an unselfish wife.
Melody is amazingly unselfish. She even adopted my kids n made them OUR kids!
I wanted a wife who was committed to the Lord.
Melody is absolutely committed to the Lord. She is full of faith!
I wanted an intelligent wife.
Melody is, like me, a scientist. (Were retired now.)
I wanted to be friends first.
We became best friends before I even kissed her. (We dated for 6 months before we kissed. I proposed to her the day after our first kiss.)
Now here is the less important list:
I wanted to marry someone younger than me or around my age.
Melody is 10+ years older than me.
I found the age difference meaningless. In fact, I think that Melody still looks at least 10 years younger than her actual age. (When sexually aroused I see a sexy woman who appears in her 20s or 30s!)
I wanted a wife with thick long brown hair.
My Melody has short delicate hair.
I already had kids but wanted more.
Melody was not able to get pregnant. It has not been an issue.
I have a high sex drive n wanted a wife with a high sex drive.
My Melody usually has a normal sex drive with bouts of high.
I love giving n receiving oral sex.
Oral is not Melody’s favorite thing. So, we worked out a schedule where she usually gives me oral on holidays, birthdays, & our anniversary. She sometimes DOES enjoy giving & receiving oral sex.
I liked boobs.
When I married Melody I became even more of a boob man due to her magnificent D-cups!
I realize now that I wanted an adventurous wife including sexually adventurous.
We have had both. You can read my 170 or so posts on MH if you don’t believe me.
Melody n I have a great relationship and a great sexual relationship. Abandonment of parts of my list worked out well for us.
Melody’s list:
After waiting for a husband for so long Melody expected to not have to keep working after marriage.
My work could not provide enough to fully support our family. Melody had to keep working.
She never had imagined marrying a divorced single father.
But it has worked out. She was n is a great mom! (& now grandma)
She wanted someone who was kind.
I’m kind (& so is she)!
Obviously Melody abandoned some of her list too. I think having a list is fine. But don’t hold onto the less important items.
So, looking back, I honestly think that the most important items to look for in a spouse are: unselfish, full of faith in God, & kindness. You should find them attractive, but remember that friendship can help make the right person sexually attractive to you. Some common interests help as well.
Now, that's a list. The prayer you should have along with that list is to be a Christlike man, no matter what woman you fall for, & even if this woman never comes along.
Our children have found that finding a mate to marry is hard, today. As, I'm sure, you know. What makes it harder is that the world comes along & educates our youth to hold on to their identity for dear life, & angrily protest when someone is different from your standards. The dating scene today is way worse than when we were in it.
But, we weren't any better, we were probably, by God's standards, way more relaxed & way too casual than we should've been. As long as we got along, on the surface, we were good, then the hurt might show up later as the deeper stuff came out.
But, no matter what, we all have/had a list. Either, subconsciously, or consciously, we all have a standard of who we will, or won't, marry. What matters is once you marry, then what? Will that marriage be a playground, or trap? Life has a way of playing out AFTER the nuptials. Once you say I do, mean it. God saw all that we were, & He said it, & proved He meant it. Hold on to His path for dear life.
There is nothing wrong with having a list. Nor, is there anything wrong with having standards. But, marriage rarely goes the way we plan. Please, have a heart to live with whatever the outcome. Two people are rarely cut from the same cloth. Follow Jesus wherever you go. Trust in His plan. You may find yourself the leader in your marriage, or the servant. But, God wants you to be the Jesus there. Married, or not. Works out great, or not.
Thanks for sharing a well thought out list. May God bless you with all those qualities, & then some. And, may the greatest quality He gives be you. A heart of victory, in Him, however things go.
Absolutely. I appreciate this comment. I understand marriage isn’t perfect, I’ve seen it in others lives. This list was simply just a “whatcha into type thing”
This is in no way me asking you out or telling you I’m interested in actually meeting you, but that girl does exist, we’re actually all over the place. I do love the Lord and I want babies (and I want to have more sex than I’d necessary to make them.)
Just describing myself based off your list.
1 – Sex Drive: my sex drive is through the roof. I’m waiting for marriage to go all the way no matter what. I haven’t even gone all the way with one of my dildos, and I pay with them a lot as a matter of fact as I write this, three are in bed with me. I think are ancestors had it right, getting married in their teen years, celibacy into my twenties is going to be a chore.
2 – Chore: never a chore, I am a bit nervous for that first time though. However, I do enjoy chores 😉 so we can fuck in a clean house.
3 – Love it: I’ve never had it, but I know I’ll love sex.
4 – Spicy: not that I want a guy addicted to porn, I sometimes watch it too, but either way I plan on being his porn star. Try the nasty things you want and I’ll bring new ideas too. Nobody has ever spit in my mouth but if my husband wants to do it, I’ll open up with a smile, stick my tongue out and beg with my body language.
5 – Initiation: My mother is big on initiating with my father (that was a super awkward conversation, which was actually initiated because of a Lakepoint Sermon put out recently). Anyway, I’ll initiate a lot more than sometimes.
6 – Oral: I have a collection of videos I’ve been making for several years of me sucking dildos that are for my future husband’s eyes only. I love sucking cock, well toy cock. Recently I got a cumming dildo. We get messy!
7 – Butt: My butt isn’t too big, but it is attractive.
8 – Tits: 32D and I have a petite frame.
9 – Pretty: I don’t want to brag but I’ve been told I look like the actress Ester Expósito. I’m cute lol. I’d give myself an 8.5/10
Wow, I love your attitude! You go, girl! Some man will be very blest to find you. I've been taking photos and videos of myself doing different masturbatory acts as well, and I enjoy thinking about giving them to my future husband someday.
Wow Emma thanks again with that comment. It’s nice to know there’s others out there.
you definitely know how to grab someone’s attention. you seem like you can be fun and bold, but also share about your faith and dreams. That mix is rare. I’ll admit, your comments make me smile — and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of that side of you around here.”
We’ve been married for 54 years. She is my soul and sole mate. Deeply in love, deep joy of being together, deep unity in our faith and walk and ministry (as lay leaders), and amazingly in sync sexually.
Your lists are excellent. It would be interesting to learn how wives of MHers measure up to your list. A comparable list could be put together by single women for their future mate, too.
If a wife or a husband (current or future) checked off every point on your lists, it’d be amazing and fantastic. So, I thought, that I’d take a crack at it for me and my wife. In my view, she is a perfect fit to me and me to her. Does she check every box? No. The boxes she doesn’t check on your list have nominal value to me, so am I delighted and deeply grateful and totally happy? Absolutely!!
On the first list, she doesn’t check box 7 and 14.
We have three (3) children and we are both happy with three. I’m from a large sibling family and love my parents and amazing mother that cried when she couldn’t have another child. However, three is enough!
She isn’t particularly funny. She does make me smile. OTOH, she’s wicked smart and insightful (not on your list) and I thrive on her wisdom.
On your second list, she misses the mark on #1, 6, and 7.
My sex drive has always been higher than hers. And based on my general understanding of an average woman, her sex drive is down the center of the fairway. Do I wish it were higher? Sure. Am I content with her sex drive? Yes.
Within the first week of our marriage she shared her desire to do oral on me! Then she shared how terrible her gag reflex can be and asked me to understand that it wasn’t possible for her to delight me (and her) in this way. I’ve never experienced oral in my entire life. Am I disappointed, unfulfilled, envious, frustrated, etc.? Nope. She is so amazing in our marriage bed that missing out on oral is a minor aspect of our sexual, exciting, fun, creative, kinky intimacy.
Her body in her mid 70s is amazing! She has always had sexy, slinky legs and narrow hips and perky 34B tits with a cute, sexy ass. Absolutely perfect!!
Making lists is a favorite thing with me, and I certainly have one with the qualities I pray for in a future husband. In some areas, I am praying that God will give me flexibility; not in standards or morals, but in preferences. However, I also believe God can give us the desires that He wove into us in the first place. My pastor told me that preferences are actually hardwired into us, and they make us the unique person we are. As I've dealt with health struggles (and continue to do so), I realize that some things are more important to me than others when it comes to future marriage. God has His very best in mind, and I just want to be in His will so I am in the right place to receive it. The Lord bless your search for the one He has for you!
Here's my dream woman…
CHARACTER TRAITS
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1) She has to love God & Jesus first, 100%. No wavering on this at all.
2) I want her to both love me, and be someone I can love in return…both of us second only to God.
3) Blunt honesty is crucial; no PC [BS]. I don't want either of us having to walk on eggshells.
4) A strong mutual agreement about trust being sacred, always earned and never given on a whim. Deliberate betrayal is not an option.
5) I don't want a family, since I don't believe I have anything to teach a child. If necessary, I'd get a vasectomy before the wedding, just so we wouldn't have to worry about it. I want my future wife to support this.
6) I'm a complete pop-culture fanatic, and I don't want my wife condemning me for it. I wear T-shirts and caps with movie & TV characters, I still play video games, and I enjoy the '80s and '90s pop music I grew up with. I have refused to let my inner child die, and I feel no need to apologize for that.
7) When it comes to politics, [we would need to be in agreement]. [Edited by MH: Thanks for the details, but we try to minimize political topics here, regardless of which side the perspective comes from. They're important issues, but highly contentious, and we don't want to distract from our site's focus on promoting the beauty of sex in marriage.]
PHYSICAL TRAITS
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1) I'm 5'11", so a woman 5'6" to my height is preferable.
2) I want whoever I marry to have eyes I can get lost in, almost like a hypnotic trance. When we look at each other, I want it to be like nothing else in the world matters.
3) A charming smile does wonders for me, with a playfully devilish grin every once in a while.
4) My wife needs to be a phenomenal kisser, both erotic and otherwise. Even a gentle one with a lingering quality would make my heart skip if done right.
5) Healthy figure overall – I don't need a supermodel, but my wife needs to take good care of herself.
6) Breasts – almost every straight guy in the world loves them, and I'm no exception. That said, my primary concern is my wife's health – I don't want her suffering with back pain just for my selfish thrills. If she can manage up to a DD and still be okay, I'm perfectly fine with that…but I truly get concerned when I see women with E cups and beyond. No woman's chest should rival the size of her head, period.
7) Hips & Ass – Simply put, I want to be able to hold onto my wife, whether its on a dance floor or romping in the sack.
8) Womanhood – No disrespect ladies, but if my wife wants me to go down on her, I'll be insisting on zero pubic hair. If she wants me to do the same, I'll oblige as best I can. But for me, seeing the epitome of my wife's sacred sexuality turns me on like nothing else. Plus, I just don't want to get hair in my mouth – talk about a buzzkill.