Sex is NEVER Free
I am going to stick my neck out and say that SEX is NEVER FREE. Sex has a cost to it. Good and adventurous sex is even more costly. No! I am not talking about MONEY, so relax folks, but I must be quite honest that having good sex DOES come at a price, and having GREAT sex comes at a GREAT price.
Allow me to explain.
Where I come from you get two different types of bank accounts. One is called a “Checking Account” and the other is a “Savings Account.” Now if we look at the difference between these two accounts, it allows us to learn a very important lesson in marriage.
In a “Savings Account” you can only take out (withdraw) what you have put in and nothing more. In the “Checking Account” you can use an overdraft facility. That means you can take out what you DID NOT put in. You can take and use money that you do not have.
Marriage works like a Savings Account. You have to put in to take out. You cannot expect that you can NOT make frequent deposits and still expect to make withdrawals. Another interesting comparison is that you must always leave something in the Savings Account. You cannot withdraw everything. You must PUT IN more than you TAKE OUT!
This is one of the major problems that we have in our marriages. When we are newly wed, both parties deposit love, attention, compliments, acts of service, affection, words of encouragement and sensuality in the relationship. But as time goes by, we start losing that urgency to be good and to do good. That’s when we start trying to withdraw from the marriage what we have not invested in it. Many of us only deposit negativity and criticism in our “MARRIAGE Account.”
This is abuse. If you are not depositing in your relationship, but you continue to take from it and expect a return where there is NO INVESTMENT, you are creating an abusive marriage. You are stealing what is not yours. God does not bless theft. He does not bless abuse. He does bless servant-hood.
Marriage is really a great place to see how sowing and reaping functions. Sow good seed, harvest good fruit. Sow bad seed, and you will harvest BAD FRUIT.
Please see this as a call for you to look at what you are depositing in your relationship with your spouse. Do you have a healthy account? If you do, it will be very clear to you and to your spouse. If you don’t, you will experience it in everything you do. What are you investing? Good seed or bad seed?
Maybe you should take the risk and ask your spouse about the state of your joint account.
PS. I must also admit that I have paid my wife for sex more than once. It can be a lot of fun to ‘negotiate’ a price for certain pleasures that you would like to enjoy!
In twenty-five years we have both been guilty of bouncing withdrawals out of our marriage accounts. Mostly unintentional, but it took many years to get to the place, gradually, where we are now where we are depositing more than we are withdrawing.
Well said! Great sex starts with being kind, loving, respectful and giving to each other at least 98% of the time. (Hey, we all have our moments and make mistakes.) Some of the most incredible sex we’ve had has been times when we were loving on each other the entire evening: little love pats, holding hands, flirting, just enjoying each other’s company. On the other hand, there have been times when we’ve been bickering all evening and then one of us wants sex; it just doesn’t happen. It’s not easy to make that transition.
If we would care more about our marriage investment than we do our money market investment, I think there would be many more happy marriages!
Great picture, MH. Nice job!
MH…. you guys are just getting better and better with your pictures. 10/10 for this one ?
Good Advice.
Very nice article, ClimaXX. It could very likely be expanded to a number of articles, about the 'not being free' part.
One of my close friends and his wife are part of the foster care system. He recently showed me a desperate email sent out by the state system looking to place a teen-aged girl, and it just left me heart-broken. It shared the positives, the negatives, the challenges, etc. for this young lady, in terms of her feelings, behavior, and needs… and then mentioned that she's been in the system for nearly a decade. That's the part that broke my heart. Someone out there created this young girl, then abandoned her at very young age. She's now paying the price for that 'sex,' as is the rest of society. No indeed, sex is NOT free. And I'm very sorry if this comment took what you wrote in a different direction, but it's the first thing that came to mind after the more pleasant contemplation of the analogy you gave.
To us it’s more like Christmas. The most joy comes in giving with no expectation of “pay back”. Giving always comes easily if you love someone.
Someone's been ready His Needs, Her Needs. Good stuff, and so true!
I have a question! How many of you have bargained with your spouse for some sexual favors for money? I have found it to be a lot of fun and you can sometimes push some boundaries that have not yet been pushed. There is something quite sensual to walk up to your wife and say, "Hey Baby, I have XX amount of $$. What do you have on offer?"
Make sure you leave a $50 on my nightstand before start. lol