The Man Within

So much had happened. Ruth never thought she would be in this situation. It was her wedding night, and she was in the luxurious bedroom with her new husband… who was paralyzed from the waist down.

The story started a year ago, in 1950. Ruth Sindley had been a nurse during WWII and now worked in the local sanitarium. Someone recommended that she become a companion to a housebound veteran named Leo Cantanetti, who had locked himself away from all social interaction since returning home from the war. Ruth was interested and full of empathy, so she accepted the job.

The Cantanetti house was beautiful and bespoke money, as did Leo’s personal male nurse, Georgeson. Ruth was thankful for the nurse. There was no way she could support a man of Leo’s build. He was 6’4 to her 5’1 and still carried muscle in spite of his lethargic lifestyle. But in everything else, Ruth was his right hand. She cooked wonderfully and brought him his meals, read to him, fetched anything he asked for, made sure his bed or couch was comfortable, and talked with him. Well, she tried. For awhile he was closed off, answering her cheery chat with cynical monosyllables.

But kindness will thaw a cold heart, and he was not completely frozen, only hurting and bitter. Ruth sensed it through the words he didn’t say and subtly but determinedly sowed her seeds of grace and Christian love. Mixed in were thoughtful actions, such as filling vases with bright flowers, opening windows to let in breezes and sunshine, or tidying up his rooms. Eventually, he agreed to let her wheel his chair out to the terrace, where they could enjoy the view of the lovely lawn and fountain.

She felt like she’d won a small victory when one day she pointed out that he needed a shave—which he hadn’t had in quite a long time since he never went out—and he said she could do it. She found herself beside him in the bathroom, razor and cup of shaving cream in hand, surveying his unkempt black whiskers. Then she got to work.

At first, she enjoyed the thought of seeing the face he’d been hiding all this time, but she began to feel that he was watching her. A glance revealed that he was looking at her in the mirror. She met his gaze, smiled a little shyly, and tried to continue without showing any embarrassment. When she was done, she felt a little awed at how handsome he was. The jaws were strong, the mouth stern and masculine, everything dark and Italian. She loved that his eyes and hair were so black.

That day was the day he knew he had found a rare woman. She was gentle but funny, always trying to make his day happier and more enjoyable. He couldn’t help but soften under her warmth. They began to really talk, especially as he revealed his struggle with being crippled and his skepticism of God.

She spoke of her own sorrows, mainly losing her twin brother in the war, and detailed how the peace of God had carried her when all of life was black. The testimony moved Leo to search, question, even pray. At length, he admitted that he saw God’s hand in the sparing of his life. He still was unsure of his purpose. After all, he asked, how much could a man do from his bed?

Ruth helped him answer that question when she revealed, just by her soulful eyes, her love for him. It gave him the courage to tell her of his own love and ask her to marry him. She joyfully said yes. Now he had one mission anyway: to make her happy.

It was April, a cool, sweet night with a misty rain outside. The wedding had taken place in the pretty sitting room since both Ruth and Leo only wanted a handful of friends. Besides, Leo had been in a lot of recent pain and had to make his vows flat on his back on the couch. Ruth knelt beside him, her hands clasped in his, and once she had promised him her love forever, she came close and kissed him. It was like fire to them both. They hadn’t kissed before, and the intimacy startled them. Ruth knew she quivered. Then the minister and guests had some cake and lemonade and left early. Georgeson carried Leo to the master bedroom and laid him on the bed, then said goodnight to the new couple and also took his leave.

Leo noted in a glance that Ruth had made the room a paradise, with flowers and candles and soft music from the record player. He turned his head on the pillow and saw her gazing at him with adoring eyes. He was in such turmoil. To see her there, beautiful and feminine in her simple white gown and silky hair, anticipating the excitement of this special night…

Before he finished the thought, Ruth floated over and nestled into his arms.

“I love you,” she said softly.

“I love you,” he answered. Yet his tone was unsteady.

She raised her head questioningly. “Leo, darling, I have no regrets,” she declared in a strong, soft voice.

“But I can’t… I can’t do… all the things another man could do. Things to make you happy and… and satisfied,” he managed.

“Leo, we already made the decision that we’d be happy and grateful for everything we can have. At least I have. Are you going back on that?” Her gaze up at him was keen.

He pulled her close, kissing her forehead. “Never. Only… ah, God, you don’t know how much I want to…”

“What?” she whispered.

He took a breath. “Make love to you.”

“And you think there’s only one way to do that? Leo, there’s so much more than just…” here she blushed, then went on, “you inside me. And we have all our lives to learn and discover and invent.”

Ruth opened his coat and gently helped him out of it, then began unbuttoning his shirt. Leo swallowed. Every second he wanted her more, yet he felt so helpless. Only with his hands and lips could he explore his sweet bride. He kissed her neck and caressed her waist. Then she helped raise him enough to get his shirt and undershirt off.

“Ruth, baby…” he started to remonstrate, feeling strange as she undressed him.

“It’s all right. You’ll have your turn in a minute,” she assured him, smiling slyly. “I’ve been dying to see this chest of yours.” She suddenly bent and kissed his right nipple, then his left. He gasped and looked at her in shock.

“Feel good?” she asked innocently.

He could only nod. He was incredibly sensitive there. Maybe there were other spots that could bring some pleasure.

She moved off the bed and reached to untie his shoes. His socks followed. Then she returned to kiss him. He held her, reveling in her tender lips on his. He could kiss her for hours. But his brain flitted to other things when he felt her hands at his waist. She was unbuckling his belt and opening his trousers. As if in a dream, he let her pull them down over his lifeless legs. He was inclined to curse his useless body but stopped at the remembrance of God’s grace. He still had many blessings. The beautiful woman with her hands all over him was the greatest of all of them.

Once he was lying in only his shorts, Ruth moved towards the bathroom. Looking back at him, she grinned devilishly. “Give me just a second, love.”

He was aching to see more of her, wondering what she looked like without her clothes. The dark thoughts of doubt and insecurity clouded his mind again. Suppose she couldn’t get release or pleasure? What if these “other” kinds of lovemaking weren’t going to be enough? Then she’d be tied to a burden for the rest of her life, an impotent husband, when she in her beauty and sweetness should have every fulfillment that human love could offer.

But the door opened, and Leo couldn’t keep his eyes from racing that way. Ruth stood there, in glorious and unashamed nakedness, only her lovely hair for a covering.

Leo felt his lungs swell and his lips part hungrily. His eyes were flashing with the light of desire. Never had he thought she’d be this gorgeous. Simplistic and flawed, but so purely woman that his blood went hot.

She walked, or swayed, towards the bed with her eyes on him. She loved the expression on his face, so aroused and wanting. And oh, how she wanted him! As she neared him, she prayed that their consummation would be wonderful, different though it must be.

With deliberation, she climbed onto the bed and pressed her body against her husband’s. He wrapped his arms around her bare back and met her lips with his yearning mouth.

“My God, you taste so good,” he murmured between the ravenous kisses.

“Oh Leo, don’t stop. I want you… I love you!”

“And I love you…”

She tangled her legs with his, and though he couldn’t feel that directly, he felt her weight on him. His torso on the other hand seemed very much attuned to her closeness. Her soft breasts flattened against his chest, drawing his eyes. And his hands actively roamed, trying to touch all the undiscovered gems of his wife’s body. When his fingers stole along her butt-crack and slid into her moist petals, she inhaled heavily.

“You’re wet for me,” he muttered in delight.

“Keep going. I’ll… be even wetter if you do,” she encouraged. His fingers were teasing her hole and her clitoris. She had begun grinding against him in her desire.

She kissed him more passionately, trying to join her tongue to his and taste all the flavor of his mouth while he stroked through her increasingly flowing spring. Then she lowered her head enough to kiss his nipples again. He jerked when she changed the motion to a soft sucking. It thrilled him.

“That’s wonderful, baby,” he whispered.

She kept on, though she was trembling because he was stirring up tension in her pelvis that demanded quick relief. But her desire was for his pleasure. So she halted his hand and moved off of him.

“Ruth?” he queried.

For an answer, she reached and drew down his shorts. He watched when her eyes rested on his manhood. It lay limp among his dark pubic hair. The sight frustrated him afresh. But Ruth put her fingers on his lips. He saw love in her eyes.

Bending, she kissed and licked his cock, then wrapped her fingers around it and leisurely massaged it. A quick glance at Leo’s face told her he couldn’t feel it, though he seemed to like the view. So she came back up and planted her mouth on his. They kissed wildly, lustfully, like this was their last hour on earth. Her hands wandered to his hair, then along his shoulders. When she caressed his upper arms, he started again. Ruth guessed it was another erogenous zone. She rubbed his biceps with strong but sensual strokes, and he groaned into her mouth. He was enjoying it, and it warmed her whole being.

Another idea struck her. “Darling, let me help you roll over,” she whispered.

He nodded and was soon on his stomach. Ruth caressed his shoulders and back, and he quivered. She stretched out alongside him and began kissing his shoulder blades and neck. Leo sucked in air.

“Oh Ruth, yes! God, that’s good!” he gasped.

So his upper body was evidently making up for his paralyzed lower half in the area of sexual sensitivity. Ruth rejoiced. She was able to pleasure her husband, though not in the way he once would have received it.

“Relax and drink it all in,” she said in a sexy whisper, nibbling his ear. “I love every inch of you, darling husband.”

“Ruth…” Leo struggled to roll back over, a light sheen of sweat on his face. “You’re so good. So sweet and unselfish. Now I want to give you something. Anything. Tell me how to give you pleasure.”

“Put your hand back where it was,” she instructed, kissing him.

He did, shocked at how much wetter she was. She was leaking all over, and it aroused him tremendously. Her naked body against him added to the flame. Her deft fingers played over his chest, teasing his nipples and curling through his chest hair, while she hooked a leg over him and humped his thigh. He sought her lips over and over, drunk with the richness of her hot velvety vulva and its flow of womanly juices. This was fullness and oneness with his wife.

Finally, Ruth’s muscles went taut and she let out a cry, one last flood of nectar seeping from her and coating Leo’s fingers. He brought them to his mouth and licked up her taste. Ruth regained her breath and watched him with adoring eyes.

“I didn’t think I could ever know such bliss,” he whispered, his lips brushing her nose and cheeks, then her lips.

“Leo, you aren’t your legs or any other part of your physical body,” Ruth rejoined, stroking his face tenderly. “I fell in love with who you really are, the man within. That’s the part that feels and gives and loves, and I was attracted to that from the start.”

Leo’s eyes filled. He pulled her into his arms, enraptured by her heart, and kissed her longingly again.