My First Vibrator
I finally got up the boldness and ordered a vibrator. Actually, I got it from the site that Marriage Heat recommends, Married Dance. It’s the purple Gee vibe. I picked it because it looked smaller than most of the others, and I wanted to start with something that wouldn’t be humongous. It ended up being bigger than I thought! If you recall, I’ve only ever inserted a finger or a tampon in my vagina, and this vibe looks to me like a slim penis.
Since I didn’t want to risk anyone hearing it (though it’s thankfully very quiet), I took it in the shower with me. However, water is not a good lube, which I did already know, so that didn’t work. I decided to just take the plunge, settle myself in my room, and try it. I had been feeling aroused all day and rubbing myself and getting nice and damp. I’ll generally start with my clothes on, teasing my folds over my underwear and enjoying the friction of cloth on flesh. My routine has been to undress and hump a towel, but I’ve been experimenting with sitting in front of a mirror, my back to the bed, as I touch myself and even stick a finger inside. I’m trying to find pleasure spots in my vagina. At some angles, I wiggle my finger against the front wall, putting pressure on my bladder, and that feels good. I like laying on my back on the floor, too, with my legs up on the bed.
This time I did some work with my fingers, enjoying the whole view meanwhile, then grabbed the vibrator. I used coconut oil as lube and began gently pushing the slick vibe’s head against my hole. It was hard to get something so thick inside. I had to put a finger in first so I could clearly feel where I needed to aim, then pressed the vibe in. It took some work, and it hurt at the entrance with the same pain I’d felt when I had the transvaginal ultrasound a few months earlier. Plus, the vibe is fattest at the tip.
But then it slid in and fit fine! I was so thrilled. First I just used it like a dildo, not turned on, just drawing it in and out a little, twisting it, seeing what it touched. The sensation was odd. I couldn’t feel anything directly; it’s almost like my vagina is numb. Is that normal? I did that for awhile, then tried the different settings. To be honest, it didn’t give any pleasure. It just felt like a hard buzz inside me. So I turned it off and went back to just maneuvering it around. I pulled it out and finished with my usual towel-grinding.
The next day, I tried it again. This time I gave the vibrating settings another chance, and found that the prolonged pulses were my favorite. If I can get the vibe head touching just the right spot on that front wall, it feels very good. And I really like sliding it in and out. Not all the way out; just to where the thick head stretches my opening. I’ve noticed that sometimes, usually just when I start a masturbating session, the area right at the entrance is very sensitive in a really delicious way. It feels so good to stimulate it.
I tried a bunch of different positions, trying to detect sensations with the angles I was sitting or lying at. The best was seated with my back to the bed, right leg stretched out to the right, left leg bent and knee almost pulled up against my torso. I support myself with my left hand on the floor and use my right to work the vibe. I enjoy how wet and slimy the vibe (and my hand) gets. And my brain is definitely picturing the vibe as my future husband’s cock! Thinking along those lines keeps me wet and aroused, which helps make the feeling of something inside me more enjoyable.
My takeaway? It was a good thing for me to make this purchase and step up my self-exploration. I’ll continue experimenting with the different settings and with positions so I can find the areas in my vagina that give pleasure. Strangely, my clit, at least externally, feels nothing. I tried placing the vibe on it, and it did nothing for me. I think it’s the internal parts of the clitoris I need to hunt for. I’m just not sure how. But I am excited to proceed with the search!
I still don't have the courage to buy a dildo/inserable toy because I can't fit more than two fingers in without pain. But one thing I will say is when I got my first clit vibrator it did nothing for me either. After trying different things, I realised that I needed very direct stimulation to get off. Nothing else would work. I have to lift up the clitoral hood and place the vibrator on there directly in order to orgasm, so maybe try that? The hood is to protect us from constant stimulation, so moving it to the side to get better access when playing with yourself or toys is more likely necessary than not. Good luck!
Wow,
that’s interesting! I knew about the hood already, I just thought that most clits were so sensitive that direct stimulation is often too much to handle. Do you have to work up to that? Or can you start a session with direct stimulation?
Any direct clitoral contact is NOT enjoyable for me. I've tried raising the hood, though I'm not sure if I can actually identify my clit. 🥴 It just hurts because it's so sensitive. Rubbing over it is way more delightful, in addition to friction over my whole labia.
Do you think you're extra-tight like me? I would guess that might be causing your pain. For me, taking a lot of time to really get warmed up and wet helps me loosen. If I don't do that, I canNOT get the vibe inside me. Take your time in masturbating and relax. I always forget to breathe! It may help you open up enough to fit a dildo. Keep me updated!
@BH – I generally work up to it. I tend to play with the outside and tease myself. Then when the buildup is at as high a peak as it will get without direct stimulation I'll start to work directly on the clit. The stimulation for me tends to be absolutely fine until the first orgasm. After that it gets very sensitive; however, I've recently overcome that so that I can continue and go again. I don't know if they count as multiples, but using a toy, I've been able to have up to 5 in one session before bed. They're less intense than the first one but still nice all the same. If I've been thinking about touching myself all day or I don't have a lot of time, I'll go direct, no time to waste!
@LLL – Ah I see, that's fair enough. I get it, woman to woman; it's a very sensitive area. No shame in rubbing it though. It feels great to do that too 😉 I probably am similar to you in that sense. I get what you mean by being super turned on, that's when I'm able to get two fingers in but not three for what ever reason. I have gotten myself in a bit of a pickle with my jilling off habits. Since I can almost guarrantee an orgasm now, delaying it is actually a lot of effort. And if I do for too long, the orgasm is pretty lackluster; I have even lost some altogether, which is beyond frustrating. Plus I tend to be in a hurry, so that doesn't help. I need to dedicate more time to having a longer session. I used to, and they were fun, so you've definetely given me something to think about. I'll try and take my time more, and hopefully I'll work my way toward a vibrating dildo at some point. Will definetely keep you updated. I'll be looking out for your updates too!
@SP Ahhh makes sense! I don’t know what’s typical for multiple orgasms, but 5 sounds pretty impressive even if they wain in intensity! That’s another thing that I envy about women 😅
Hey, singlepringle! It took me a while to work up to it too. To be quite honest, I usually rub my pussy lips and apply pressure not directly onto my clit because it’s really too sensitive. I know that may sound weird, but I’ve had great orgasms this way. I also am super super tight to the point where even a tampon can hurt sometimes if I don’t mentally prepare myself and relax myself for it. Sometimes I have to think about sex for it to not hurt LOL. You’re not alone my friend <3
I love that you're taking on the process of dicovering what works for your body. I think (and hope) your future husband will grateful and you will both reap the benefits.
Excellent sharing of your sexual discovery journey, LLL. You mentioned the pleasure of pressure on your pelvic area just inside your vagina with an upward pressure. Pressure on your bladder is very erotic. Also, you are undoubtedly stimulating your G-spot., that rough, slightly raised spot on the anterior wall of the vagina. (I use my middle finger there as I finger my Anne with a ‘cum thither’ position just inside her pussy.) Keep exploring that area – you’ll love it and it will help ramp you up!!
Have you thought about exploring anal stimulation? The rosebud is packed with nerve endings that can be sexually electrifying when stimulated. A vibrating anal toy can add delightful fullness with your vibrator or a dildo in your pussy.
Regarding your clit: my Anne enjoys gentle diddling of her clit until it’s fully engorged and erect. Then she works it more vigorously until she cums hard. Take your time on your clit. Love on it!!! Lots of lube and plenty of caressing!!! She’ll respond to your loving on her!
I confess I'm nervous about trying anything anal. For one, it seems kind of disgusting 🫤, though I know you have to clean and prepare for activity in that region. Second, I am so tight in my whole pelvic area that I think it would only be painful to attempt any sort of anal penetration. Now, I DO like feeling the moist towel between by butt cheeks when I masturbate, and I can imagine that I will really enjoy my future husband's cock sliding there as well. My cheeks are sensitive and I love having them squeezed and massaged (not that that happens much! 😁). But I'll take my time doing anything anal. If future husband wants to experiment, I'll go for it.
Anal play and penetration is also a journey. Be horny before moving to that area. After a bath or shower will make you feel sexy horny when you just gently lube up and explore your rosebud. Finger penetration is a good start. It will feel good! Then go from there!! Remember size doesn’t always matter. A smaller anal vibrator or dildo is the next step.
Thanks for the report on your vibrator purchase!
I love your exploration of your body and sexuality! I appreciate your boldness to share your experiences with us.
As you practice with your new toy, you’ll find what works best. A vibrator is an integral participant in our sexual activities! My wife only reaches her orgasms by clitoral stimulation. We’ve been married for 52 years and sex is very important to us. We use a couple diferent vibrators, and though vaginal penetration is part of our play, 80-90% of the contact will be labia and clitoris. Usually, I use my fingers, with her clitoris between fingers and vibe to rub her to some powerful orgasms. Sometimes she will use the vibrator on her clit while I have two fingers rapidly rubbing her G-spot area. This is one of her favorite methods!
Lube is essential, and don’t be stingy with it!! You use coconut oil, and that is great, but it is a natural antibacterial and antifungal, so it can mess up the vaginal flora. If it works for you, GREAT! My wife prefers Sliqiud Sea lube. I use coconut oil for mastubating.
We use the vibrator for probably 80% of her orgasms, 15% with my tongue (my favorite) and 5% with my fingers.
After she cums, she welcomes my cock to her pussy to finish things off!!
Be patient, try different things with your new toy, use plenty of lube and have fun!
(Hubby here)
LLL, congrats and good job! I know I probably shouldn’t be commenting on this post, but I wanted to encourage you with what I tell Queen regarding masturbation.
It’s so easy for women to be outcome oriented, looking toward the destination without enjoying the journey. We all do it to a certain extent, but you ladies are so driven, and it’s so wonderful, but you can get lost.
I always remind Queen, when she masturbates, to make love to her pussy! Her pussy deserves it, your pussy deserves it, and I hope you can enjoy the masturbation journey, whether you hit the destination of amazing feelings, or even an orgasm.
God created pussy and cock, and they are worthy of pleasure! Make love to your pussy, whether you use your fingers or a toy. You deserve it!
Blessings and passion!
I am learning to appreciate and enjoy the journey and not focus so much on orgasm. There have been times where I masturbated for several hours, and climax just wouldn't come, so I would accept that and go to other things. More and more, I am really enjoying the play, even if I don't finish.
I remember when my wife bought her first vibrator; it's such a turn on. That is nice that you're experimenting, which will lead to great lovemaking sessions with your man. We always include toys now when we have sex just to spice things up. Have fun.
Thanks for sharing more of your self discovery journey. As you learn and share, I’m also able to learn more about the mystery of the female body. Continue pushing yourself to try new things, and I’m sure eventually you’ll be rewarded with unique and earth-shattering orgasms!
I know some women like to have a dildo inside them while they use their hands to play with themselves. So that might also be something else to try! Once the the vibe is inside, use your hands to play with your folds, clit, nipples, etc. Either way, happy exploring, and excited to hear the next update!
Have at it, young lady. Sounds like a super hot journey!
I haven't been online in a couple weeks but just logged in to find this story. So timely! I bought a few sex toys today, and when I try them out later, I'll probably read this story while doing so. Maybe I'll write an account of my exploration as well. 🙂
So, I tried out the Hello Cake Sucker which alwayswet101 praised in a comment awhile ago. It's basically a budget version of the Lelo [Sona?] or Womanizer. Technically designed for a clitoris, but as a guy, I wanted to try it out on the tip and underside of my penis, as well as my nipples. It's really cool! The suction feeling along with vibration is awesome. I imagine it feels even better on a clit. I definitely could've climaxed from it alone, but I decided to switch to a pocket pussy (a highly realistic model)… and wow… I think my soul got sucked out of my body through my penis—three times in short order! That thing makes me cum way harder and easier than my hand, and the more semen it gets filled with, the easier it is to stroke up and down. It's self-lubricating in a way if I cum more than once, and the sight and sound of my seed getting foamy and dripping out the opening as I stroke just adds to the intense turn-on of it. 🥵
Nice, lonelyfarmer. That sounds incredible. I’d love to get a Fleshight (or something like it). I wonder if you or any other guys have tried the Fleshlight and could offer their thoughts on it?
[Rather than change the trajectory of the comments too far from the post's topic, we've created an extra discussion post for this thread: https://marriageheat.com/2023/06/24/male-masturbation-toys/%5D
Please share with us which pocket pussy you have that you enjoy so much. My wife has been wanting me to get some type of toy for myself due to her ever-growing collection.
[Rather than change the trajectory of the comments too far from the post's topic, we've created an extra discussion post for this thread: https://marriageheat.com/2023/06/24/male-masturbation-toys/ ]
Hi–
I wouldn't worry about inserting more than one finger. My wife is a one-finger girl. I can insert two, which is quite a bit smaller than my penis, but it is uncomfortable. Fingers are hard and the wrong shape. Even a dildo or vibrator is harder than a penis. The glans part is actually fairly soft, and the shaft gives more than a silicone vibrator does when you squeeze it.
Neither of us like vibrators. We have a Satisfyer Pro. It provides suction pulses to her clitoris. Like the Womanizer, but less expensive. I use it on my frenulum and nipples.
I am larger than average, and she is very petite. Her diaphragm was the second-smallest made. We achieved penetration on our second try. Until our first child was born, she got sore occasionally. We didn't know about graduated dialators. You couldn't just go on Amazon and order a set. But now everything fits perfectly 🙂.
She actually feels tighter after childbirth because she did Kegel exercises. You should do Kegel exercises too. It will make sex better for both of you if you get married, and will make your orgasms and sexual play more enjoyable now.
Also, G-spot stimulation is very important. Wife has become multi-orgasmic since doing G-spot stimulation, and enjoys penetration more. She can now orgasm from PIV sex. Someone recommended your finger. I don't think my wife could reach hers, so you might need some sort of G-spot stimulator. Another poster and most books mention a wrinkly patch of skin. I can feel that on my wife sometimes, but usually not. Just rub all around up there. At first, she found G-spot stimulation unpleasant. She felt like she had to pee, even though she didn't. But after a few sessions of about 5 minutes each, it became pleasurable.
You've got to find your clitoris! Not knowing where it is would be like a guy trying to masturbate to orgasm without knowing where his glans is. My wife, it is just there. No problem finding it. Her outer labia are small, just ridges of skin really. But I understand that it can be buried between the outer labia and hard to find on a lot of women. As you do some exploring with a mirror, you'll probably figure it out 🙂. Can you find your urethral opening? Start there by exploring yourself while you pee. Also, G-spot stimulation usually causes lubrication to come out of it in my wife. Your clit will be a lot bigger and harder when you are aroused.
My wife feels a lot without her hood being retracted, but she prefers direct stimulation on her clit with it retracted.
I do anal stimulation. I started to do it for prostate health, but it is quite pleasurable, so I do it for fun too! It is a lot cleaner in there than you would think. I don't do anything to prepare. Just time it right, usually after I poop. I rarely see anything unpleasant. Usually the worst that happens is I fart a time or two.
The sensitive areas are the opening, then the front wall (prostate), then deep inside. There is a second set of muscles in there.
I got a set of four silicon butt plugs of different sizes. The smallest is really small. I can't imagine it causing anyone pain. You could experiment with your finger to help you decide on whether you want to invest in plugs or not. They aren't expensive—about $15 for the set.
My plugs have a disk on the outside end to keep them from going all the way in (very important!). They have a bulge near the outside end, and a long skinny part that goes in first. Once inserted, they will stay in place by themselves. Like they say, bigger is better, but I have yet to get the largest in past the bulge. Again, don't worry about how big a plug you can insert. Just use what feels good.
Thanks for sharing your adventure! I look forward to updates. I am praying that God blesses you with a great husband. He will be a very blessed man, having a wife who is comfortable with her body and knows what she wants in bed!
LLL, It has been wonderful to hear your journey while exploring the sexual side of life! It's good to know how your body works and what brings you pleasure, so you can eventually share with a spouse. Marriage can be filled with pitfalls and problems, but having a good knowledge of your sexual preferences will definitely help take care of that aspect of the relationship.
I'm glad you like it. Have you tried an egg vibrator?