A Lad Trying to Learn (L)
(L) – This post contains brief strong language.
Hi guys! I need some tips. I’m a virgin and have many things I want to do someday like the other virgins on this page.
My question: how do I learn to be good at eating my wife’s vagina and sucking her clit so she screams with orgasms and squirts and maybe calls me some sexy explicit names as her man? I once read of a woman whose husband had learned her body so well that she would cum in 2 minutes. I hope I can be like that, or at least I aspire to.
I want to take this moment to shout out to a few authors I love on this page (even though I have many more than just these!): Bee, SabrinaMarx, CreamyPatty, Marriageheat, Scrapmaster, Alwaysneedinghim, Marriagejoy and whoever that couple is where she got big boobs and he has a heart condition, but he working his dick and making her happy. Eyyy my man! You’z a real one bro.
It’s absolutely amazing to see God’s holy daughters being absolutely graced in fuckaroo sessions with their husbands, and vice-versa, where yawl be busting each other’s nuts and butts, just busy getting pulverized! I love hearing about your sexy naughty raunchy stories where yawl are kind of addicted to each other and swallowing each other’s cum! So hot! Including the times where yawl are anally connecting. MAD! There is so much that is sexy in women and men like you and I aspire to become a husband that enjoys my future wife the way your husbands enjoy you. For me, yawl are real treasures. Real Proverbs 31 women.
Ya I want my future wife to look at me and say, “She’s hurtin’ for a squirtin’.” Okay I will shut up now.
Shoutout to the single virgins here too! LovelyLonelyLady, I guess you are the most active single on this page out of all of us. Your sexual growth makes me nervous to keep up but I enjoy seeing your growth. I do what I do, coz it eez what it eez.
Okay, enough of the shout-outs. Grace and peace to all here.
Thank you for taking the time to answer.
Regrettably the only way to get good at oral sex, is to have it and talk to your partner. As annoying as it sounds, everybody's different. Different things work for different people. As a married spouse it’s important to foster a relationship of openness. Be patient as she tries to figure this out too. It might be hard for her to be completely honest with you at first, because it’s a very intimate thing she’s critiquing. The best orgasms come from a woman knowing what she likes, and learning her own body and how it feels with yours. I would like to debunk that women come within a minute of licking her clit and vagina. The clit is awesome but it’s not a literal button. You’ve got to work it, sometimes from different angles and sometimes different pressures and textures.
Here are some general tips that might help you:
-whatever pressure your using, use about half of that. Lots of pressure right at the start loses some of the sensations. Once’s she’s fully aroused you can go harder if she likes.
– sometimes it feels too soft and wet down there with your tongue and the drool. And it’s hard to get momentum. The slight friction and pressure of your fingers can be a welcome change.
– flat broad tongue just consistently stroking upward, covering her whole opening and clit has been pretty awesome every time for me. I’ve read that’s it’s a ‘go to’ for others as well. Just keep a rhythm going.
– Consistency will get her there! Biggest mistake I hear men make (and I’ve felt this too) is changing it up every other minute. Though multiple things can be good, the constant change is distracting and can be frustrating because you plateau and can’t build up the pleasure. Find something you can continue to do for several minutes without changing. If/when she gets into it she’ll start bucking her hips into you. If she’s not into it, transition to something else for while.
– if you decide to finger her a curling of your finger on the upper inner wall of her vagina in a “come here” motion should stimulate her gspot, while you can grind your palm into her clit. This works on two different levels, and usually is a good one. Be mindful of your nails being trimmed, scratching up there is awful!
– circular motions with your tongue around her clit and light sucking are usually really good.
– stimulating around the clit, or the clitoral hood that goes over it with consistent pressure and movements can be really great, as often direct clit stimulus can be too much. Moving the skin that touches the clit can make for a really nice buffer, and very pleasing.
– tracing the alphabet with your tongue is hit and miss. For me it’s not consistent enough and gets distracting.
Oral sex is a very different sensation than penetrative sex for a woman. It’s important to be able to talk these things out. Think about trying to simulate what happens in regular sex with your mouth. Particularly what her clit is doing when she’s having sex. It’s usually getting rubbed on your pelvis or pubic bone as you would thrust into her. Rubbing, pressure, wetness, friction, same things are good for oral. Just as oral sex on a man is a similar in function to regular sex. But instead the mouth is giving the suction instead of her vagina.
I hope this helps give you a little bit of direction for the future. Your wait as a single man trying to stay pure is a difficult one. But I’m sure she’s out there waiting for you. And will appreciate you planning for her pleasure.
Practice. Lots of practice! Listen to her feedback and responses
Ok, right, erm … first and foremost it's not all about the sex.
I've said elsewhere here recently, not all women are multi-orgasmic and not every woman is going to squirt when you go down on them, and even if you do, you might not like it.
The reality is that the first time you do anything, if you are both virgins and I hope you will be, it is more likely to be a bit like fumbling in the dark. You will have to learn what turns each other on, learn how to others bodies so they become natural to you. So, the key answer to your question is to talk to her, ask her what she likes, listen to what she says and experiment, experiment, experiment from the first night of your honeymoon until the day one of you goes to glory.
Oh, and if you future spouse turns out to be someone who orgasms in under 2 minutes from oral, then that's fine, but try to enjoy long, sensual sessions of love-making as that is the ultimate expression of the intimacy that marriage brings.
What a wonderful question! I love your enthusiasm and your heart for learning to please your future wife. This is exactly the kind of attitude that makes for an incredible marriage. Let me reference my article "The Perfect Cunnilingus and Cake Day" on Marriage Heat and give you the detailed guidance you are seeking.
https://marriageheat.com/2026/04/14/the-perfect-cunnilingus-and-cake-day-april-14/
Why This Matters
In my writing and experience, I have emphasized that cunnilingus is not just foreplay. It is often the primary pathway to orgasm for many women. The clitoris contains approximately 8,000 nerve endings, and most women require direct clitoral stimulation to reach climax. Studies show that 81% of women reach orgasm through oral stimulation compared to only 25% through intercourse alone. Learning this skill is one of the greatest gifts you can give your marriage.
Step-by-Step Tutorial: The Art of Cunnilingus
Step 1: Setting the Stage
Begin with your wife fully relaxed. Start with kissing, caressing, and building anticipation. Many women need time to become fully aroused before direct genital contact feels good. Pay attention to her breathing and body language. When her hips begin to move or she presses toward you, she is ready for more direct attention.
Step 2: Positioning
Place yourself comfortably between her thighs. Many husbands find success with her lying on her back while they position themselves on their stomach, allowing full access without neck strain. You can also have her sit on your face or try side-lying positions. Find what allows you to maintain contact without discomfort.
Step 3: The Approach
Begin with indirect stimulation. Kiss her inner thighs, her lower abdomen, and the area around her vulva. Build anticipation. When you first make contact with your tongue, start with broad, flat strokes on her outer labia. This warms up the entire area and increases blood flow.
Step 4: Finding the Clitoris
The clitoris is located at the top of her vulva where the inner labia meet, typically covered by a small hood of skin. It may be visible or hidden. Gently retract the hood with your fingers or tongue to expose the glans, which is the most sensitive part. However, many women find direct contact on the glans too intense, especially early in arousal.
Step 5: Technique Variations
Use the flat of your tongue for broad, warming strokes across the entire vulva. This distributes sensation and builds arousal without overwhelming sensitivity.
Use the tip of your tongue for more focused, precise stimulation. Try spelling the alphabet with your tongue tip across her clitoris and surrounding area. This varies the pattern and helps you discover what she responds to.
Try gentle suction. Take the clitoral area into your mouth and apply light suction while flicking your tongue. Many women find this combination intensely pleasurable.
Use a consistent rhythm. Once you find a motion she responds to, maintain it. The buildup to female orgasm often requires steady, repetitive stimulation rather than constant variation.
Step 6: Incorporating Your Fingers
While your mouth focuses on her clitoris, slide one or two fingers inside her vagina. Curve your fingers upward toward her abdomen to stimulate the G-spot area on the anterior wall. The combination of clitoral and internal stimulation often produces the most powerful orgasms and can lead to squirting.
Step 7: Reading Her Body
Pay close attention to her responses. If her hips are thrusting toward you, she wants more pressure or speed. If she pulls away, lighten your touch. If her thighs tense and her breathing quickens, maintain exactly what you are doing because she is approaching orgasm. The biggest mistake husbands make is changing technique right when she is about to climax.
Step 8: Building to Orgasm
As she nears climax, maintain steady, rhythmic stimulation. Many women need continuous contact through orgasm and even after, as they can experience multiple peaks. Do not stop when she starts contracting. Keep going unless she pushes you away.
Step 9: For Squirting
To encourage female ejaculation, focus consistent pressure on her G-spot with your curved fingers while maintaining clitoral stimulation with your tongue. The sensation of needing to urinate often precedes squirting. Reassure her this is normal and encourage her to relax and let go. When she feels safe and fully relaxed, ejaculation becomes possible.
Step 10: Aftercare
After she climaxes, gentle kisses on her thighs and vulva show your enjoyment of her pleasure. Hold her, tell her how beautiful she is, and how much you love giving her pleasure. This emotional connection makes the physical act even more meaningful.
The Two-Minute Orgasm
The husband who could bring his wife to orgasm in two minutes likely mastered two things: knowing exactly what she needed, and being willing to give it consistently without changing techniques. Every woman's body is different, but once you learn your wife's specific preferences through patient exploration, you can become remarkably efficient at bringing her pleasure.
Final Thoughts
Your desire to learn this before marriage shows wisdom and love. When you do marry, approach her body with curiosity, patience, and a willingness to learn what makes her unique. The goal is not just technique. It is making her feel cherished, desired, and completely safe with you.
I hope this helps you prepare for an incredible marriage filled with mutual pleasure and deep connection.
I don't believe there's anything I could add to all of the wisdom and experience that's already been imparted.
My only suggestion is before you get to the point of commitment to one another, be sure to establish an open honest conversation about sex.
And in that conversation talk about oral sex as well, not all women want a oral sex and concerning a woman of faith she may have a personal bias against it being taboo.
It's always wrong to assume all men or all women are the same, That's quite far from the truth!
And thank you editors for shortening the title. As much as I believe that sex is a gift from God I also believe that we are to honor the titles of God and Christ and should follow the commandment of not taking the name in vain.
Tutchh💋
[From MH: Thanks for drawing our attention to that note about the title! That was supposed to be a temporary note prior to publication for the editors' use only, not a note for the community! It's not a big deal that it slipped through, but we try to keep things tidy, and life has been so busy that a few things have slipped recently!]
Great question Camo! I certainly have thought a lot about the converse question, which is "How to please my future husband orally". We should be reading up on these topics as much as we can while single, then, per the advice of the awesome couples here, experiment nonstop and learn in marriage. I am looking forward to that!