What is ultimate sex??
This is a hard question to answer, but here are some things that my wife and I are working on:
* A willingness on the part of me and my wife to become increasingly better at sharing and communicating our needs and wants.
* A willingness to physically share every part of ourselves openly whenever, wherever and however it can be done.
* To get creative with fantasies that please God, but push the boundaries of what is possible in sexual expression.
* To be willing to experiment with some type of quantifiable feedback measure to understand if what is being done is really pleasing to the other spouse… say a 5 vs. an 8 on a scale of 10.
* To be always striving to look one’s best for their spouse and demonstrating it tangibly through exercising/fitness, manner of dress, manner of speech and perhaps special symbols only known by the husband and wife, etc.
* Establish some goals and be honest over time in how successful these goals are being met.
* Give time to stretch personal sexual expression by letting go and getting crazy, irrational, and spontaneous. Figure out experientially the limits to fulfillment as an expression of multiple climaxes, length of intensity, number of serial sexual encounters, etc.
* Get in touch with what it really is that get’s you turned-on and ready for action…
* Be willing to have sexual alone time to understand how your body responds and be willing to share that with your spouse.
* Be willing to pray together during the sex act that the Holy Spirit would be the ultimate teacher.
So, what do you think? Do you have some thoughts to add? Can we strive for better sex throughout our marriage?
Ultimately, I guess it comes down to how important sex is to each of us. For my wife and I, we somehow keep wanting to make it better and more satisfying without resorting to the dark side of pornography and all the fantasy options which are blatantly against God’s revealed will. Maybe it comes down to freedom and somehow realizing the initial gift in the Garden. We will be interested in your thoughts.
I appreciate all of this Fiddler. Personally, I’d love to
see you expand on some of these points – giving a
little more detail on what each one lived out would
look like. Thank you! God bless.
Being more open about feedback is a big one. When we think something is really pleasing our spouse – and we find out it isn’t – it is good to know, but kind of risky to initially say. I know for us, there are seasons of greater communication about these things. Sometimes, for whatever reason, there can be less.
I like the emphasis on creativity in regards to our fantasies. Again, we have seasons when there is more prevalent, and some when it is less. I want to never lose this with my wife. Because of it – we still experience great excitement over the newness of our sex.
I look forward to the response from others, too.