Last Longer

If you want to learn the techniques, first, you have to notice what your orgasm reflex is. Just observe it a few times (ten or more times) and pay attention to how it works. (You might want to do this while masturbating, as it could prove distracting to a partner.) Especially, notice that there is a brief moment at the onset of orgasm when you are consciously aware that it is about to occur but it has not yet become inevitable.

That’s where you will later spend your time. In the typical orgasm (both male and female) there are 8 to 25 muscular contractions. Women may have more than men; how many you have will vary at times. Get to know how many contractions you usually experience. (For instance, my usual number is 18-20; it’s never fewer, but sometimes more, and that has not changed in 30 years).

Now, rather than “suppressing” an orgasm, try to let one or two contractions happen and then relax. If you can learn to let one or two waves of orgasmic contractions occur and then relax by breathing slowly, and being attentive, and letting your abdominal muscles go limp (NOT by trying to think of something else to “distract” yourself), then you can learn to repeat this over and over again.

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